GzvU4O Spot on with this write-up, I honestly think this web site needs much more attention. I all probably be returning to see more, thanks for the information!

Really great story,i enjoyed every bit of it..I was a bit sad when i came to the end,would have liked to have known what happened ts Susie and Jenny,after David left the navy.All in all,a fab story,well done

I really enjoyed the story, I would love to be David/Jenny!!!!  Please continue.

I like this story. The intense parts are played as fetish fiction. The real life parts don't go too far. I liked that they made him squrim a bit, but were just kidding (or were they?) Nice touch. I look forward to part three, it sounds like things are going to go a bit forward.

Very nice stories that were very well written, especially for a first time author.  I thought writing a background story to the story within the story was very clever and quite well done.  It was certainly novel and entertaining.  

Personally, I would have preferred more detail in the sex scenes.  You write that Jenny had "cum" 3 times during the night with Leslie, but do not describe them at all.  As long as your story is going to be "X" rated any way, you might as well go for the gusto and let your readers be aroused along with your "hereoine."  Describe her feelings as she is used and abused and gradually "cums" to like it and then get off on it. Let us read of Jenny's rising excitement and eventual climax.

Besides this complaint, I enjoyed your posting very much and look forward to reading further episodes.

Keep up the good work!

SS

Nice idea, but too many nested levels!
Perhaps it would be better to split the foreground story and the told stories into seperate submissions, so that the chapter changes are clearer.
I guess the foreground story is going to disappear, as it is only a vehicle for the told stories. A pity they aren't actually stationed on a boat (sorry.. ship), then it really would be a vehicle :-).