Crystal's Story Site
· Return to Story Index Page · Add your Comments ·

Story Comments by Readers

Boro of Queens
by Tanya Mazurek

Latest comments are shown at top of page.


Comment by Sheryl S. on 04/02/04
This one is a special treat for me as I grew up in Bayside, Queens.  The atmosphere of the salon is down pat.  "Kitty" is so perfectly evocative of the era.  Rhonda was a very nice supporting character, and Ken was well written also.  Congratulations on a truly terrific story that touched me quite a bit personally.

Comment by Andrea Foster on 03/31/04
A very good debut. The story is well written, and has a nice tone and atmosphere. The plot is very believable and the conflicting feelings of Barry/Kitty had the ring of truth. Most enjoyable.

Comment by Slothrop on 03/30/04
The attraction to crossdressing translates to the attraction to men rather suddenly, without any foreshadowing. I can only assume it was there all along and that was the intent, since it does not seem real if a 'few drinks and free blowjobs' is the magic homosexual conversion formula.

You write very well and I enjoyed your narrative, but you shift from extreme realism to magic personalities at the end. If your character had discovered his true nature as himself, it would have worked better for me. The "Barry was horrified but Kitty " line might work in prison where your life or at least your well being is on the line, but your situation had many alternative escape hatches to maintain the 'Barry was horrified' supposition. It seemed more like Barry was delighted but maybe a bit guilty.

Aside from the few points above, you have real talent. Keep writing

Comment by Vickie on 03/30/04
A wonderful blending of wish fulfillment, or a wish fulfilled, with odd, recalcitrant, unpredictable details of the reality we in fact inhabit, and the mood of apprehension and a tentative, uncertain gratification, well-sustained.  Barry seems unsure by the end where he'll be going (or Kitty will be going), and he has Mom yet to cope with, but he had wanted that first whole experience and he got it, and the story allows us to share it.  Thank you.

Comment by riottgrrl on 03/30/04
Hi,

There's one use of "myself" instead of "himself" in this story that makes me suspect the story was written in the first person and then changed into a third-person narrative. I suspect it's more autobiographical than fictive, but that's not at all bad.

I'm very eager to learn more about our heroine. How does she develop?

Tanya, you have made a very promising beginning if you have so many comments at only 15 readings of your story. Congratulations, and keep writing. You will get better as you go along. It's very frustrating at first, but then there comes a new thrill—the feeling you are discovering your own true voice. Nothing can surpass that feeling of accomplishment.

All my best,
rg

Comment by Darlene T. on 03/30/04
Yes, where? I can barely wait to see. Excellent, honey don't stop!

Comment by chrisl on 03/30/04
Hi Tanya,
        your story has the sad ring of truth. A story well told because you made me care about her confusion and doubts about her true identity.
Hugs, Chris.  

Comment by Jezzi Stewart on 03/30/04
CONGRATULATIONS!  This is probably the most realistic TG fiction story I've read, certainly not a fantasy, but like the real thing might be!  The two beauticians were professional, but were not all giddy to dress him up or sadistic to humiliate him. He had practiced, so his passing was not a stretch.  The blow job was a bit much, but still within the realm of possibility with Kitty in charge because of the alcohol.  Good job!  

Proud Queen or pathetic gay cocksucker?  BARRY/Kitty or KITTY/Barry?  Our hero(ine) is at a crossrtoads, and I would like to see the morning after.



Add your Comments

      The importance of reader feedback cannot be overstated.   Authors rely on it to improve their future works, and it gives them the incentive to write more stories if they know that their hard work has been appreciated.  I am not saying that comments must all be lauditory.  Authors often appreciate honest, constructive criticism over simple remarks like 'Great story', although simple praise is appreciated also.  There is no limit on how much you can enter in the 'comments' box.   Sentences will automatically word wrap at the end of the line so please do not use your carriage return/enter key except at the end of your paragraphs.

      It is not necessary to use your real name here, and, email addresses are optional.  Posting your email address will allow the author to thank you for taking the time to post your comments, and/or discuss critiques and address possible concerns. 

      Be forewarned that abusive remarks and language will be removed, and the posters may be banned from this AND other areas of StorySite.



Name :
E-Mail : (Optional & Confidential)
Comments :
 
  

Please report any problems to Crystal