bFjouD Wonderful work! That is the kind of information that should be

9MiGOo Thank you ever so for you article.Really thank you! Cool.

mJuTtV You made some decent points there. I looked on the internet for the issue and found most persons will go along with with your site.

what a wonderfull story of revenge i would like to read mare about trhe words his mother said about wearing girls clothes a lot longer it a brilliant story

I would have added "Oh mom curiosity got the best of me.I always wanted know how it would feel to wear girls clothing from panties to a bra to dress. So i asked my sister to help me and I love it. thank you so much my sister

I loved my sister dressing me up,we dressed up together from a very young age and enjoyed going out together.

Well serves him right, was my first response.  i don't usually enjoy stories where a boy or man is forced and humiliated, anymore than I would if a man humiliates a girl or woman, but in this case I think a rough sort of justice was applied.  

It ought to stop there though.

You wrote well and it was well thought out.

wonderful story! please continue!!

a brilliant story please i have re read this when is the next part comming along and i hope it continues in the same style as the first 3 parts i want to know how his mother dealswith hime and hom much moreembrassement and hassle he is caused please continue

If he had told his mother in the first place, he would not have been in so much trouble. She would probably have confiscated the tape - maybe keeping it as a deterrent to his macho leanings. Best way to deal with petty blackmailers.

a brilliant story well worth a 3rd read please do some moe as as possible i like the atraction of brian being dressed as a girl all summer perhaps it will teach him a lesson with his fouls mouth i feel that his mother &sister should go the whole way with him alsi i like very much the idea in another comments about hime haveing to wear pink barbie girl clothes &knickers also i feel it would be great for his bedroom to be changed so its like a girls bedrooom again sticking with the barbie girl image &adding a bit of the little princess please write more soon and a lot longer its a brilliant story so far keep up the great work thank you

Great Story Lilly,Brian sister should reduce him to a little girl for the summer,put him in short jumpers with pink Barbie panties,white tights and mary janes a serious summer of humiliation for your poor hero.

this again was a second read brilliant story more please

I love the classic last line:

<< His summer stretched before and it was pink and frilly.  >>

It opens the whole summer to the readers immagination.  why not write your own part 4, "The Summer"  and let others write their versions of part 4.  Where does "she" end up in Sept.?

i like the story excellent of revenge by his siter&friends got well&truly stiched up by his  sister in front of his mother ideal punishment foul language & because of it will be dressed most of the time as a girl with his mother insisting on it gret story well written another part to this please

Lily, I would ignore most of the criticism given so far, except the part about using quotations to separate dialogue.  Your story has an excellent plot and I hope Brian continues to resist his situation now that his mother is involved.  Keep up the great work!

Uhmmmmm Lilly? The story was told very good and the plot was solid, however, did you ever hear of quotation marks? It was hard to see if there was a dialogue or if the sentence or paragraph was just a part of the narration. Please use quotation marks in your next please; it makes it easier to follow the dialogue.

Barbara Lynn Terry

the story was great the way brians sister and milly his cousin/sisters best freind turned the tables on him and teaching him a lesson I also thought that the reaction of his mother was great I look foreword to reading the next installment and brian continuing humiliation with his mother supporting his sister who is delighted the way it was going an excellent punishment for a foul mouth more please

i liked the story and i hope there is a part 4 telling us about Brian's continuing humiliations for the Summer

Good start, but I have one suggestion.  Submit longer parts on these multipart stories.  Something a few grafs long really isn't much of an addition.  Send in something 10-15K instead of 4K and it'll help the flow a lot.

This is a nice compact lil story and well done for 1st effort. Hope the writer keeps honing her skill, learning how to 'daydream scenes' to life, especially dialog, and then actually writing it, always having both dictionary and thesaurus handy.  

i just love to see a macho boy put in his place by a "mere girl".  The vision is sissy brian is very erotic the way you tell it, and i hope he resists liking his new status.

Hugz,
Sissy ashley

Welcome to Storysite.  It is always good to hear from new authors.  I like to see a new author with good ideas develop their talents over time.  As such, I hope you will take the following as constructive criticism:

-You may want to investigate how to use quotes for dialog between your characters.  It makes the story easier to read.
-You may want to think about the motivation of your character a bit more.  It seems a little far-fetched to me that a recording of some sobbing over a bad game would be enough for the full treatment Brian gets from his sister.  I've seen many rugged atheletes openly crying over a lost game.  It just shows how much heart they had invested in the game.  Nobody I know has ever thought much of it.
-You may want to contact one of the volunteer editors here on Storysite, and they can give you some tips not just for writing, but for better character and story development.  Just click on "Author's Corner", then "Volunteer Editors" for a list.  It's free, so take advantage.

On a more positive note, the direction of the story definately has some potential.  I'm anticipating some good femdom, and some more powerful humiliation in the next chapter.  Good first effort - now let's see a better second effort!

-Ami

This first offering holds much promise.  Little sister is indeed a powerful girl who will continue the slow and delicious humiliation of her brother. Please do continue.
Mardee