Well for me, an American who has never been to Great Britain , it was a little hard to read . Way too much obscure information about cars and I presume trucks . The story idea was great ,and I liked Mary sticking up for Jackie...The story was a bit choppy. what is a PC?? you need help editing and proof reading .. I liked the story idea.

      Blessed Be

Dear Jane,

This is a beautiful story. It is heart-warming and a pleasure to read, albeit a sad ending. The reading did take some time due to poor sentence structure and tense changes in the same paragraph.

I would have liked to have seen more detail about the clothes, that each character was wearing, more detail about what they were thinking, and less detail about their vehicles.

Your story writing ideas are very good. I do hope, that you continue.

Many years ago, I read Yogi Berra's book, "It Ain't Over Until It's Over." It read as he talked. Every three pages I had to go back and re-read two to find out what he was talking about. It was a great book but it didn't, "flow," nicely.

Susan

This is just too sad a story! it's just brings tears to my eyes thinking about what I would do in a similar situation.

A very good story with oh so sad an ending. It brought a tear to my eyes.

The format needs some polishing but the writing is good. The formatting has improved from the first stories from this author but still needs a bit more work.

Sweet story. Love the clothing descriptions and it was a real tender ending to the tale.