Jane,

Truly loved the story.  A lot of us don't seem to know what to do with post-op characters, and the situations and characterizations were very interesting.  Yes, it was a difficult read, especially for us Yanks, but worth doing, and quite true to the culture.

It seems that you are from a "cockney" section of England.  I'm a Yank, who has been to London about 10 or 12 times, but only once ventured very far north -- it truly is a different, more "basic" world, and your comments help give us insight into that world that most of us rarely get glimpses at.  In fact, most of us will happily watch a UK movie done mostly in "The Queen's English" but quickly turn the channel when things like "Loneliness of a Long-Distance Runner", or the original "Get Carter", or "Quadrophenia", or other movies where the main characters talk in unfamiliar dialects.  Add your vernacular, and only a dialectical addict like myself gets into the opportunity to wallow in British factory talk, a fascinating and very different world than the one most of us are used to.

Now, you might think that the TG'd community would have enough empathy to get past, or even to enjoy, such differences -- and some of our sisters do just that -- But for better or worse, I'm afraid that most of my Yank sisters and brothers simply lack the patience to do so. Therefore, they chalk it up to "carelessness" or bad grtammar instead of to dialectical disparities.  Jane, my sister, please accept my sincere apologies on their behalfs (behalves?, nah -- see, nobody's perfect!).  

This does, of course, bring to mind, what could be a fun twist on a classic scenario?  What if you were to fall under the wing of a pompous Henry-Higgins type?  Please let me know what you think.  I'd be happy to try to write such a story to gether with you, if you wanted.

In any event,

Love & Huggles,
Sheryl S.

     I have to agree with the other reviewers. Your writing style has improved some since your first effort, but not enough. I guess  the difference is like that between a train wreck where all the cars go off the track, and a wreck where only half of them go off. You have some good story ideas, but you desperately need help in putting them into readable form. PLEASE GET AN EDITOR!

I normally don't pick apart writing, but as much as I like your stories, you desperately need an editor. Your ideas are good but your prose leaves much to be desired.  Jezzi's remarks are dead on target.  You also tend to confuse such things as colors and so forth. I would take some time and really look over my stories and try to catch those problems before hand.

Once again I have to agree with Jezzi. (The rumors that we are one
& the same person are absolutely not true!) This was an original
story, but the writing--I mean, the nuts-&-bolts mechanical stuff,
spelling, punctuation, sentence structure--didn't do it justice.
If you're going to be as original & ingenious as this, please get
someone to assist you with the grunt work.
.
--Pervy

Dear Jane,
    Your stories seem really good, but this is the second one that I have tried to read but had to stop because of the poor grammar, particularly run-on sentences.  I just gave up trying to decipher them.  I would strongly suggest an editor or proofreader.  I would be willing to edit/proof a short one for you.

well descriptive and sweet story dear. You're a good writer because you write from the heart.