Thank you for a charming a d entertaing story! I have returned to read again several times over the last decade. Much love, Nevette in California

I enjoyed the story there was a lot of thought put into it.

b25ZBE Some  truly   choice   articles  on this website ,  saved to favorites.

  After every step in dressing Steve the girls collapse into uncontrolled laughter. If dressing has this affect on just two girls Steve must realise that appearing dressed as a girl he would become the laughing stock of the whole school. No matter how infatuated he might be with Anita, I cannot believe that he would consent to allow the dressing to continue. Without the giggling and laughter the story might possibly be more believable.

I couldn't stop reading. Excellent storyline with great intrigue that kept you wondering what was going to happen next. Keep up the good work!

Sickly, disgusting, ridiculous, infame,etc...

I enjoyed the first part of the story of Sarha alot. Lots of emotion, great plot line, colorfull writing, in genral a damn fine story.You have good insite of your people and I appresate the work that goes into a story like this. You get qutos from for a great job  

Brilliant story, fantastically well told. Lots of great humour. Great ups and downs, but a very optimistic tale in the end.

iv'e only begun reading this story and alreay I don't like it.

Very good style and plot line.

after a slow start it became gripping. do she/he go and who is the other person who fancy her/him? i know there another part and i'm about to read that. I hope that bitch get's her upping and other find out about her.

Brilliant! The character development was phenomenal.

This story freaks me out.
It's so slow moving that a snail would look like a grease of lightning :)
But I can't stop reading it?

I better get my priorities right, right?
Anyway that guy drives me mad.
He have give uncertainty and insecurity a new face.
The face of Sarah, or was it Steve :)

cheers
Yoron.

Although I'm a little old for such stories, having left my teen years some decades back, this story caught my attn from the start and held me until its completion. Very well done.

Opps, wrong story.

after part 9:
For all practical purposes, Steve IS a girl now, mentally and behaviorally.  The commisseration scene at the end with Sarah was pure girl!    And Karen was all clueless boy in the viewing room scene.  GREAT WRITING!  Only Steve doesn't  realize "she's" a girl yet.  I wonder what will happen if he comes to the conclusion that his dressing etc. has not been his own choice to avoid the bullies but is only because of the hormones the machine is feeding him.  Could be a major backlash coming.  I also still have a slight suspicion - although it's less now - that Sarah and Jeanette are agents of the machine.   If I'm right, what if steve finds out?  Can't wait for part 10.

When you start to read, you may feel like having run into another beginners first attempts of (this time TEEN-) "boredom of femdom". There are endless repeatings of "Anita says" and "Nikki comments" while Steve goes through every stereotype of TG fiction.

But after a while (and some liberal FastForward-s) the story turns out to be a real novel. Characters acquire depth, just enough of humor is added  and you even get a bit of longing for the sequel (if addiction is a too strong a word)

The end may be a bit hasty, but these stories must end where the reader still is left with some fantasy of his own.

So all in all a great story. Thank you Sarah

Gabi

Please do get on with the story there are I am sure many awaiting the
possible outcomes Sarah, please please do not let us wait too much longer.

As you are probably aware only 30 % or less respond of the
80-90% who enjoy a story such as this.

Well here we are after part 14.
Wondering and trying to see where this is all headed.
Contrary to a previous comment I don't believe Liz is a
preditor however it is obvious that she likes to undertake
projects and see them through for her own personel satisfaction.
While Crissy the Female equivilent of a bully with her two henchmen
hopefully will fail now it still remains who is the mystery girl
who may end up with Steve/Saraha.  While I have read the several
comments by others except for the time frame in which this all
seems to occur the possibilities and probability of such a thing
I know for a fact are or have occured without being too direct.
Been there done that.
I would like to see Anita have another go at being the agressor and
Saraha getting to enjoy the feeling of complete submission and uforia
that a male can have when the female is agressive.
Although at a much more advanced age Raven has been my Anita and can
honestly say there is nothing to compare with submitting to female.

Part one,so far so good. I hope it does not bog down or become too x reted, I hate it when that happens

Sarah, at first I avoided your story of the Womanless Contest, but in re-reading I began to realize that the slow pace and tedium are part of teenagers lives.  On a 2nd reading the underlying dynamics began to appear and I enjoyed the change in Sarah's character. I also began to spot the male envy in the female characters. I didn't see any really bad people, just competitivness and teenage angst.  You left a number of open possibilities for future development and I hope you continue with this story. How did Sarah face the parents?  Was Sylvia a predator, a lonely person, or a genuine supporter of the transgender idea?  Will Anita and Sarah ever realize their common needs?  Thank you for the story. Jamie Elizabeth Burgess

Hi Sarah,
        I have been reading this story since you first started posting it here. I guess a part of the reason for that is I have been wondering what will happen next, your writing style works for me :)
I have been enjoying the obvious fantasy of "what if". Thoughts like could this contest lead to early acceptance if the parents have an external thing to introduce an individuals gender issues.
The dodging of humiliation does add a certain frisson lol.
It is pretty obvious that pedophiles who prey on adolescent tg must exist somewhere in the sexual reality out there, hopefully in very small numbers. Sexual assault when young is a massive trauma; it doesn't go away and becomes an important facet to the adult psyche.
I can't think of many stories with such an underlying and long drawn out sense of dread for this reader. How many of those circling are sharks, will there be a rescue?
I look forward to finding out where your story goes and hope it has a happy ending.
Thank you :)
Hugs Chris.

Well now, Liz is the interest hidden so well by you until now. Giggle. Now that lipstick was supposed to be the long wearing type and you missed the part about him not being able to get it all off with soap and water. His mom only noticed his eyebrows or only mentioned his eyebrows. Hmm...

I also didn't think Steve would have opted to wear panties and pantyhose under his school clothes after what Chrissy had said she would tell everyone. I mean that's all a big dude sent by Chrissy would have to do is pull Steve's pants down in front of people. No Steve is not the smartest kid on the block. Naive is one thing but being dumn is another. Giggle, giggle.

I wonder if Sylvia will show up as one of the sponsors and have that dress for steve on contest day.

You add at the end of this latest chapter, "Or so he thought so" or something to that effect when he had thought that after the contest Sarah would be gone. Hmmm...Giggle, giggle.

Now don't get upset and think I am writing your story through the comments section. I am musing that is all. Sharing my thoughts with you as I read your story.

A very fine story!
Huggles
Angel

I have been following this story since the beginning, and can say without doubt, it is one of the best I have ever read. Your author page has now become my homepage, as I wait in anticipation for the latest episode.

Out of curiousity I did a word count of the latest part, and it came in at a whopping 11,000 words! The amount of time you have taken on this story is truely appreciated, and your fantastic storytelling abilities keep me hooked till the last word. I have never followed a story for this amount of time before.

Keep up the great work and roll on the next chapter!

Kate xxx

i love the shaving references but am confused as to exactly in what chapter the actual shaving takes place. lets add a chapter specifically about body hair/pubic designs/color bleaching to match the wig color.... to add another take on this story.///

Hi Sarah
I'm enjoying your story, eagerly awaiting the next episode.
Hugs, Fran

After part 14
Wow!  This has taken a decidedly darker turn with the potential for some major psychological, not to mention physical, damage to Steve.
 
Anita has her hidden agenda.  she must have; the only reason she can be hanging around with a boy she herself admits is a jerk is that he's a great fuck - which means she's nowhere near the innocent she likes people to think she is
.
Chrissie & crew are threatening him with both physical harm and branding him a sissy

Liz and Sylvia are predators.

Does anyone really care about Steve/Sarah??  

Sarah, my dear, this is absolutely a lovely work.  You have another adoring fan.  Hope that this work finishes with some justice and happiness for our young hero/heroine (just because a person has a gentile/submissive nature doesn't justify making that person a professional victim--something nice must happen to Sarah, or we will end up with a horribly scarred-for-life human wreck, and I as well as others have seen too many of those).  Well done, so far, Sharlee

I love the story, Sarah. I hope we don't see Steve taken advantage of any further by Sylvia. That is child molestation, something I personally find reprehensible. However, were he taken advantage of by Anita..........

Anyway, keep up the good work. I too, eagerly await each installment.

Lovely story Sarah.

I normally don't bother to much with long serials but I "can't put this one down" so to speak.

I think we're all jealous of Sarah in the story, lol.

Tell us, is there any truth in the story?????

Thanks Hon

Jenny      

I love the realism here.  Normally longer serials aren't my cup of tea but this is a big exception.  I know he's not going to be able to go back...how many of us wish this WERE us?

Sarah

Thanks for another excellent chapter.  I like others have been logging on daily in anticipation, and it certainly didn't disappoint.  Steve is gradually falling into Anita's clutches in a willing, believable and rather romantic way.

I agree that your writing is excellent in describing the language, behaviour and feelings of all the characters, which makes a real difference to the credibility of the story.

You have opened so many options for the future, I long to see where you will take us next.  Accessories/shoes for the red dress, Maxine, Tuesday evening, which dress Steve will wear to the contest, hair, wearing his necklace or articles of girls clothes while being a boy, parents...

The only trouble is, we now have to wait for the next chapter!

Jezzi has it pegged correctly. Steve/Sarah is a submissive like it or not. Soon Anita will be the boy for sure, but who is the other girl who likes Steve? Niki? Her older sister? Hmm...

So Steve will have a girl and Sarah will have a boy/girl? Lucky Steve!

Now somehow Steve's parents have to find out! I mean really now, Steve's mom has to be sharp enough and know her own son a little better than that. I can't wait for that to happen! Soon poor/lucky Steve/Sarah will be modeling for his mother and maybe Daddy as well? Giggle, giggle.

Just my humble wishing opinion, but I don't want to be accussed of writing your story through the comments section. Giggle.

Great work and looking forward to the next part!

Huggles
Angel

after chapter 13
I liked the fact that "Sarah" was automatically accessorizing the dress before Steve caught himself; it shows the practice is paying off and "she's" acclimating.  If Anita plays this right, she'll have a willing happy lesbian lover before long.  And, wow, my impression of Anita has certainly changed with this chapter.  She seems a player, rather than a naieve  school girl.  I'm beginning to suspect she has a hidden agenda and knows exactly what she's doing with/to Steve, playing him like a trout. I'm now wondering if the whole "Panda" story  is true.   I would like to see a salon visit, and I now have no doubt Anita could get Steve to go.  Can't wait for 14!

This is one of the best stories ever told. I log on with the hope that a new installment has been posted.
 There are a few faults in the storyline(nail polish on one hand?) but overall you have a 5 star rating in my book.
 I am very curious to see how Steve/Sarah comes to terms with loving Anita as she shows more interest when Steve is Sarah. Where is Nikki the whole time? Maybe Nikki is more interested in Sarah then we are led to believe???
 Your characters are so realistic. The teen-age girls talk and act like teen-agers. The shops, streets, houses & shops seem like I have visited or lived there. The parents remind me of mine and my girlfriends when I was Sarah's age.
 Can Anita convince Sarah to visit a hair salon for the winning touch? No more wig? I wait for your answer.
 (:I'm loving it:) Roxanne
 

 

What a lovely story and I really like the idea of Sarah going to the disco. Wouldn't it be fun if she was wearing a minidress and killer heels, and was trapped into seeming to  be feminine to a cute boy, then double dating with 'the girl of her dreams' - perhaps at a formal dinner, something like a sports club do, where she had to wear a full formal gown?

Sarah

Have now read Ch 11 and 12, and keenly anticipating Ch 13. I loved the tennis idea, and I think I see what you are getting at in Ch 12, with Steve spending more time simply dressed and doing normal girl things.  I get the impression however that Ch 12 is about preparing the ground for some future adventures, with Maxine becoming more involved, Tania and Laurence playing a part and the theatre trip to look forward to.  Still intrigued as to how Steve is going to get home from Anita's without revealing himself to his or her parents.

Please keep up the good work, keep it realistic as you have done brilliantly so far and don't make us wait too long!

Thanks again.

At the conclusion of Chapter 10, Sarah had the nails on one hand polished and declined Anita's offer to polish the other nails that night.  Sarah wanted to postpone that event till the next morning.  Chapter 11 made no mention of any nail varnish and it seemed strange that Sarah would play tennis and continue on with the day in chapter 12 with the nails on only one hand wearing nail varnish.

I would be interested in the revision to Chapter 10 to include completing the polishing while watching the movie.  Perhaps the toes could have been included.

Great story and looking forward to additional installments.

with each part of the contest i feel a need to findout more about susan and the other girls.

I have been reading this story for the past 12 chapters...and has been enjoying them. I wish I could have the next chapters on the net more frequently....I also wish Sarah and Sylvia has more relation making the story more interesting...

Regards.

after chapter 12
   I really have to say that this is the most realistic TG fiction story I've read.  The girls don't just happen to have silicon boobs, they don't run out and immediately buy a fake vagina from a sex shop that just happens to be down the street, etc.;  everything so far really could and, as I read the comments, actually has happened in RL to readers, including myself.  I'm really enjoying it.  The only thing I felt was unrealistic was Sylvia's behavior in the store.  

I do hope, though, that Steve at least begins to enjoy being Sarah before it's through.  I really felt bad for Laurence and got angry at his mom; she's an adult and should be more concerned about her son's feelings in this matter.  She is either clueless to how he feels or just doesn't care.  I imagine Steve's parents will find out eventually; I wonder how they will react?  

No mention was made of shoes when Sarah and Lucy were exchanging and modeling their formals; no really good opinion of how the dresses looked on the two could be formed without them wearing the matching shoes to see where the hems fell.  Also, their walk wouldn't make much sense without them in the shoes they were going to wear.  I was surprised the ladies didn't insist on the shoes.  

I'm still enjoying this story, but...gosh...! it's moving awfully slowly!  I never thought it could run through 12 installments & still not get to the actual contest itself.
.
--Pervy

I really am enjoying your story, Sarah. I get a real feeling that you know Steve/Sarah's feeling very well - though I hope that when you have dressed you haven't resented it as much as Steve does! I think this is one of the strengths of your writing, that you get into Steve's mind. Like the others who have commented I too look forward to the next episodes. I am perfectly happy with the pace of your writing and I am also very reliece to read a story that does not start off virtually at line one with oral sex. The innocence of Steve is, I think, something that makes the tale so refreshing.

Keep up the good work Sarah.

Kate

Hi,
Enjoying the story, although a bit drawn out. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Karen.

I am loving this story.  It's well written, enjoyable and is reminding me a lot of high school.  :)  (Several years ago when I was still in HS, I lost a bet with a girl I had a crush on and in winning, she got to choose my halloween costume.  Because I'd made the mistake of telling her I was going to make her dress as a french maid, she recruited a friend and together they got revenge by dressing me as a fairy princess.)  To those of you who think things are proceeding at too slow a pace, or are not believable, let me assure you that the first 5 chapters or so of this story could almost have been written by someone who had been watching us.

Having said how much I'm loving this story, I just can't wait to see where it goes next.  I love the idea of a Tania, a younger girl who had rebuffed feelings for our hero and who is in a perfect position to get a little revenge.  I'd love to see more of Sylvia... but I suspect I'm not the only one.  I'm trying to think of some suggestion to improve your story, but so far the only real complaint I've got is that I want more and I want it now! ;)  

I never leave comments, but your story has blown me away! It is in the top 5 stories I have ever read, I can't wait to see more. Here are my two suggestions (hopes?) for later in the story.

Steve (Sarah) gets his eyebrows shaped and thinned for the big event, also maybe acrylic nails

somehow, Steve (Sarah)needs to get left with Sylvia in the shop again, or even work there, and let her have her way with him :)

Great work - keep it up!

Thank you Sarah - just off now to read Ch 11.

Sarah,

Thank you so much for writing this wonderful story.  I am desperate to see the next chapter and have been checking here frequently since chapter 10 in the hope of finding it.

I love the pausibility of your story, the innocence of the characters and the avoidance of a rush into sex that occurs in too many stories within the first few chapters.  Best of all is the slow development of the story, the characters and Steve's desciptions at each stage.  Please please please continue this story as soon as possible, and stick to your own style rather than be swayed by requests to speed things up.  And don't shatter Steve's dreams by making Anita some evil femdom who is out to destroy him.

I dream that Steve will awaken in Ch 11 to find that Anita's family are expected to go to church, and he has to accompany them.  To avoid suspicion from the parents he'd have to find a dress of his own, perhaps borrowed from Nikki's younger sister again, while Anita dresses more her own age...

Or that Anita realises she can outdo her friend with the expensive wig by using Steve's own hair, or adding extensions, nails, or eyebrows.  But then some of these might become apparent at school...

Anyway, thanks again.  In eager anticipation.

The story has so much potential and is well told, but with each chsapter the pace gets slower and the theme repetitive. Gradualism works when there is a buildup of suspense or of change, but all we have here is stevie feebly resisting and then giving in. The scene on Anita's bedroom lacks eroticism. Imagine if Anita had stripped to bra and panties, casually saying "it's onl;y us girls here."
With each chapter, steve appears to be an even bigger jerk and clueless. Please speed up the pace and raise the temperature.

Part 10.  I like it when Anita stated "Steve," "you really ought to stop worrying about what other people think, and start pleasing yourself."  That was a real hoot.  Look at what the little bitch is doing to Steve.  And someone should give Steve a big kick in the ass.  If he can't see by now that Anita doesn't give a shit about him or his feelings then he is one big melon head.  Maybe he should start farting around Anita, she seem to like that in John.  Otherwise she wouldn't have kept her tongue down John's throat the whole time and right in front of Steve!

Maybe in the end, Steve will wise up to Anita and for the contest make himself look as ugly as he can.  That way, Anita will lose to Chrissie and that just may be the best revenge for Steve.

I love the concept of a womanless beauty contest, and all the preparations that go along with it. Sarah's immersion in femininity is exquisite.
Gina

Nice long chapter with some of the twists I had hoped you would employ.

The boyfriend just showing up must have been pre-arranged because what kind of a dude skips going out with his chums to just hang out at his girl's house? You handled that part very well and I loved the way you portrayed him! Fart and all, giggle, giggle.

Steve must have it very bad for this girl and he has to be a submissive to put up with so much humiliation and the twisting of his words. (Long sentence I know.)

The girl of his dreams does have other plans obviously for Steve or I should say Sarah! The way she twisted his words to include him as a her to go to the disco. That is after the contest!

Nicki's mom I bet will return to play a role in this game. What I long to see is Steve's parents finding out and what happens then.

With a submissive like Steve anything is possible.

For those commenters out there who have asked if anyone has known a girl named Steve? I have, but not Steve, it was 'Stevie'. That was her given name and not just a pet name. I have known a few named 'Bobbie', 'Alex' and the list could continue. Most are shorter versions of a longer feminine name, but I sure do remember Stevie! Giggle, giggle.

Huggles
Angel

You must have written a few chapters ahead of time to get them posted so fast. Question, how much have you already wrote and what chapter are you working on now? Just did not want to waste any of your time by making suggestions for parts already written. Giggle, giggle.

After part 9

The story is coming along nicely but the scene in the dress shop where he is almost molested is a bit much. And I believe that his method of protecting himself is much like a girl would do if there was an attempted rape. However I think he should come out with the truth so the girls can protect him in the future. So far the story isn't too nasty; even though it could turn that way, I hope it doesn't.

In answer to Jimmy how about Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac. Onto the story. The pace is picking up a bit now after a pretty turgid bit about getting him dressed. There was not enough about how he really felt. All that Testosterone in his body would have made him react differently, I know I dod at that age. The scene in the shop was the best bit yet. The bits about the other customers showed real forethought.

Great story, very slow and teasing plot development, which makes it both enjoyable and frustrating at the same time. As long as others are giving input, I like the humiliation/nasty side of the story and would like to see more of this aspect in future chapters. Also, the story vaguely reminds me of a very short FemDom story I remember reading somewhere about a "Cherry Blossom" beauty contest at a high school where the boys were being punished and had to compete as girls in a beauty contest in front of the whole school. I read this other story about 15 years ago, and don't remember where but it obviously was good enough that I still remember the story line now.

poor sarah finding a cute dress and having to deal with that in the dressing room. i hope that she can make pease with nikki before the big night.

I have read all parts and the story has progressed very nicely.  We are learning more about the girls and Steve and the motives involved.  Let me take a guess here, some school girls decide that the school contest would be a bit of fun and a chance to dress some bloke as a girl.  So they decided to get Steve to say yes, because they already see that it would be so easy to make Steve over into a pretty girl.  The girls are clearly having fun with this from all the giggling and comments about Steve being so feminine.  Yes, Steve is hurt by these comments but being Steve, he doesn't really assert his feelings about these comments.  And Anita's little "pecks" on the cheeks (she knows that Steve fancies her) is a device to help keep Steve from complaining too strongly.  When Anita and Nikki finally get Steve out of the safety of the house, Nikki conveniently needs to go to the High Street and in doing so, forces Steve to confront hundreds of people instead of a few at a time.  Did the two girls have some of this planned ahead of time, one may ask?

I want to ask this of the readers and the writer, are there any girls that are named Steve?  The two girls tell Steve that Steve can be a girl’s name too in part six, and I don't know of any girls named Steve.  I know that Steph, is used sometimes as a shorten form of Stephanie.

I am enjoying this story and it will be interesting to see just how far Anita and Nikki can push Steve.

Anita and Nikki are sounding more and more sinister.  It's really beginning to look like they are not his friends at all and there  really is a plot to humiliate him as much as possible.  Why Steve, or do they just hate boys?

sarah is going to be one of the girls longer than she thinks. i think she's going to pass as a girl and win the contest. i get the feeling that her girlfriends may want to keep her this way after the contest.

Great Story!  What a fantasy.

After part five

The story has maintained a high standard of writing and so it is with this part. The descriptions are good even if the first scene feels a bit drawn out. He has gotten this far and now needs some encouragement to continue. The hug and cheek peck was a start but it needs more. The dialog method would be a good way for the girls to share their thoughts on doing it and why Steve.

Please continue and keep up the good work.

Ok but what about something positive from the girls instead of all the humiliation? If I were him I would have really rebelled by now. Those little inuendos and not said for his benefit either.

The girls are young but not stupid are they? I mean even at this age they have to know they can only push so far without getting shoved back a peg or two.

For every action there is always a reaction! That is a fact of natural law. (You seem to skip over some very interesting places that should have a reaction or a much stronger reaction from your main charecter.)

You pointed out that he realized the girl of his dreams sees him as a girl and he has no chance of being with her as a boy. So, what is his motivation to do this now?

I will wait for the next part to the story before I continue. I still really like it and am hooked. You need more development of your charecters though.

Huggles
Angel

PS. Interesting way to introduce a new charecter into the story. Giggle, giggle.

Very literate writing and a good feel for dialogue. Some very nice realistic touches.

I do question the pacing a bit. You have expended 150+K so far and a light has not yet dawned in your main character that feeble protests do not change the course of events. At each step. At this pace, you could easily hit 500K and not have had any character development.

The detail of each step is excruciating - however missing in action is psychological tension. A bit of Pavlovian reward for Steve from Anita might help. Anita and Nikki's motivation is absent - they get no reward from Steve's participation or place in the contest.

You lovingly and ably dwell on the descriptions and dialogue of what so far has been one very long scene. It has a bit of the feel of an etude where the composer varies one note from one theme repetition to the next. I keep waiting for a change of key, or a change from major to minor, or a different lead section. Something.

Please do not stop your story. But do consider the pace of your story.

Sydney

A brilliant story, very believable. I have a feeling that he'll look back on this memory quite fondly. Press on!
e

After Part 4

The quality of the writing has continued and the descriptions are very good. And the realism is much closer to real life than in many stories. It was going nicely at the end, too bad the door bell had to ring.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

after part 4:
I would again like to compliment the author on her realism.  They don't automatically shave his legs.  A pair of silicon breast forms don't "just happen" to be available.  I agree with Tigger though; what's in it for him?  However, as I mentioned in my earlier comment, this almost exact same thing happened to me, and I participated without promise of monetary or date reward simply because I was besotted with the girl.  I also didn't tell my parents out of embarrasment  (Till the day of the contest when I had to in order to get the car.  I was surprised when they were OK with it.) The girl also did my hair in twin ponytails, but I was dressed as a cheerleader.

The story is progressing very nicely. I like the fact that the girls sound and act like regular teenagers, though not many girls would take a boy and dress him as a girl for anything in particular. I think that Nikki has a somewhat more evil streak about her. I certainly hope that doesn't come through though. Keeping it sweet and sentimental would, I feel, make it a more enjoyable and realistic story. I'm sure that as the story develops Steve will tend to appreciate the trasnsformation. I particularlly like it that the girls still refer to him as "he", though there have been a few "only girls here" quotes.I do anticipate that Steve will have a more feminine name before this story ends though. I hope the story ends up with Steve winning the contest and his dream comes true of dating Anita, as a boy of course. I also am sure that Anita's dream will also come true....one of which her boyfriend will also become her girlfriend, so the both of them will have the best of both worlds!

Keep up the writing! Looking forward to the next part...The school uniform and the contest itself along with finals!!

After Part 3.

First off, nice work - there's some really good writing here.  In particular, the girls and their conversation could come out of any of the 9th or tenth grade classes I've worked in. You can 'feel' the adolescent glee arise from their 'being right" and their successes toward attaining their goal of winning.  the boy's response to this, caught betwixt and between his desire for the girl and his fear of being drummed out of the boys' club for participating in a public dressing context (and god forbid, doing well at it), is also dead on from my personal experiences with the young starting-to-mature male.

On the other hand, I feel really sorry for their victim, I mean subject.  They've really given him nothing to make this a good thing for him to do.  We know HIS motivations, at least his intrinsic ones, but for the girls, what is his reason for participating.  Is there a prize they've offered to share? I don't recall the offer of a date, and they've been hard on him.  Their commentary on him being a better girl in particular. In part, that's why the dialog is so powerful - 15 year old girls tend to be that clueless about their own power as females and about the fragility of young male egos.

Still, I have to wonder what's in it for the guy.  It's becoming clearer with every part that Anita doesn't see him as a 'guy' let alone as boy-friend material.

Who knows, maybe this is one of those 'tests of masculine devotion' young females delight inflicting on young males - the 'if you loved me, you'd do <fill in the blank>' kind of thing, except he hasnt been told it's a lady-faire quest.

All that aside, this story has some really excellent dialog and mood-setting, and some of the best transformation descriptive writing I've seen in a long time in a CD story.

Looking forward to seeing what comes next.

After part 3

The story is progressing nicely. But would the girls really laugh that much? It seems that they would tone it down a little if they want him to continue. The good part is that they haven't been too forceful about dressing him just out thought him. With out knowing the size of the school it is set in, more than forty does seem a bit much for the number particapating. It feels like there is still a lot of story to be told. Please take the time to keep up the quality.

Thank you for giving this to us.

After Part 2

Oh ... giggle ... my ... giggle ... goodness ... giggle giggle ... gracious!!  I find myself agreeing with Pervy, as usual, and Jill, AND ANGEL!  Angel, dear, have you put an anti-sarcasm/cynicism spell on me???  If so, thank you.  

This is one of the better stories I have read.  What l am liking about this story so far is the detail and the realism.  I liked the way the makeover scene was drawn out and the way Anita and Nikki were shown as not being professional makeup artists, but normal teen girls.  They seem out to have fun with Steve with, as Angel calls them, "little teases", but don't seem to be going the betrayal/humiliation route - although the "slight sneer" in Nikki's voice at the end is sinister.  Do these girls have a hidden agenda?  (Obviously Angel did NOT cast the anti-paranoid spell on me  :-)  I  would have liked to see Steve - BTW, we need a femme name for "her" - with long hair so there could have been a hair scene too, but that's just me.  the reason I say realistic is that the exact same thing happened to me at age 16 as is happening to Steve, and I allowed it to happen for the same reason, besotted with a girl who wanted me to be in the "Senior Mens' Fashion Show" of 19 ... oh, we won't go into dates  :-)

I agree with Jill as far as having your story written before posting part 1, but I would also say that there should be flexibility in case any reader suggestions strike your fancy - a suggestion like having a hair scene, for example - extensions, perhaps?  :-)  Seriously, If you want suggestions as you write, I suggest joining Sapphire's TGF group and post your rough draft and ask for comments and suggestions.  After about a week, write your final version for here, Fictionmania, Big Closet, etc.

Very well done so far. The first part was way to short, but you did very well with the second part. Will it be another month before we get to see part three? Giggle, giggle.

I like the reluctance and the way the boy is getting transformed with little teases here and there.

I would like to see a little more charecter development. Who are these kids anyway? Giggle, giggle.

Any parental involvement coming up? Now that would be interesting as well.

Huggles
Angel

The second part has come along nicely. While he thinks it is humiliating , nothing has happened yet to really embarass him. It does make me wonder what inside joke has the girls tittering so much but sometimes it seems teenage girls giggle about the least little thing.

Pretty good so far, looking forward to the next part.

I have to say that the only problem with part one is that it is too short!  You did a great job of enticing the reader with enough info to get them into the story and want to read more, with out giving away everything that will be coming up!  Keep up the great work and I can't wait for part 2

Kisses,
Tiffy

Well a start anyhow. what is next?

Nice start on a familiar plot so it will be interesting to see what course your story takes.  What can I add that Jill hasn't already said?  I agree that it appears that what I read really wasn't part one as it just ended, full stop.  

It looks to me as if you have a real winner here. Of course, I'm a
pushover for stories of this sort. Having said that, I can't add
anything that the others haven't already said. I agree that it
will be best if the story stays sweet & mildly humorous & doesn't
turn nasty. And I concur with all of Jill's recommendations.
.
--Pervy

What a bunch of nervous Nellies have posted before me.

Oh for gosh sakes! Please write a story that puts the boy in a gown, but please, don't have any of that bad stuff happen. And, by the way, MAKE IT INTERESTING! or I won;t read what you write.

You have to write what you and your muse decide.In the sixties they said "Shit happens". Your mantra should be "Shit Happens, and I write about it."

You have a nice style and rather decent mechanics.

I have several suggestions.

1.) Let us know more about what the characters think and what motivates them (show, don't tell). For example, why do these two girls care about the contest and have they done this kind of thing before? Why would the young man take part? How have they known each other? Why is the jock taking part? Wouldn't your young man ask that?

2.) Draw us into the scene more with better, broader scene construction. Appeal to our senses.

3.) If you haven't completed the writing of the story, don't start posting it. So many on Storysite have the arrogance to write their chapters as they post them. That practice severely restricts your ability to write the best possible story. Even if you paint yourself into a corner with pink nail polish, it still makes for a dull ending.

4.) Avoid the police blotter descriptions and stick to what really is captivating about the person. You could have told us much more about these two girls by describing what they wear, how they eat their french fries, what clubs they belong to, who their boy friends have been . . .. Color of hair and eyes is detail, but does it really add to your story? (Think of what a movie director would do to SHOW you about a person without showing you that person. Where they live, who their firends are, what values they hold, etc.)

Keep writing, you are very good at what you do.

If you'd like me to send you a few stories I've written, so you can reciprocate, let me know.

Love to you.

Jill

good start.
I like stories where boys have to dress as girls for school events or womanless beauty pageants.
It has always been my dreams and nightmare at the same time...
...i am waiting for second part.... maybe Steve in a pink gown and painted nails...

It is a very nice start to this story. You have piqued my interest, as I hope the second part will be posted soon.It's starting as a sweet and lovely tale, I only hope it continues this way as there are to many stories that start out sweet and innocent, but end up being cruel. I certainly hope this one stays sweet and innocent.

An interesting start for what could be an interesting story as long as it doesn't turn nasty. If the girls do it with a kind heart and gentle touch it will be a very good story. I will wait to see which direction the author takes and hope he doesn't get his heart broken.