I believe the writer should get a lot more credit, despite the grammer it is looking to be a delightful tale. Please finish it :)

I think that i did jump the gun on posting it.  I am working on a revised version with more details and will use the prof reads of this site to help.  First there is no way to go back the nanites are still in the body and his body cannot take the stress.  Second he wants the fresh start he spent his whole life working never getting to know many people.  Also this is a world like our but not so haveing a person with allot of money is not heard of.  For now i am taking a break from writing but before i move on i will repost the story with the hope of making them better.

Volka, it's not my intent to scold -- you're trying to post a story, after all, which is further than I ever got.  But your angry responses to the comments seem to miss the point.

The trouble is that your story is so incoherent due to the spelling and grammar that it becomes impossible for me (and many others, I'd bet) to "just look at the story and enjoy [not 'injoy'] it."  It's virtually impossible to enjoy what one can't understand.  I think I've figured most of it out after a second reading, but I'm still not completely sure.

Anyway, I, for one, have no idea why we should care what somebody's name is -- especially now that he's faking his death and we wouldn't be hearing it any more anyway -- or why you consider it a "cliffhanger" that you haven't mentioned it.

Perhaps more troubling: is the hero insane?  He tells us he's leaving a trillion dollars to (if I read it right) the three-year old daughter of a dead friend, who will now be safe from the disease that was killing her because he corrected the cure after it turned him into the twin of his assistant's daughter.  (No individual in our world has a trillion dollars.  Is he delusional?  Did you type too many zeroes?)

The hero stresses that he's always been cold and unemotional, and is still looked upon that way at the group home that takes her in before she's adopted.  But making a decision to tell the world that you've died, to give all your money away and then relive your life as a small girl in a foster family doesn't sound very logical.  Why would he do this?

If -- as his thoughts while unconscious suggest -- he wants a new part in the life of the girl to whom he bequeathed the money, he could presumably arrange that -- heck, he had enough money to arrange anything he wanted before staging his death.  But he's talking at the end as though the point of the whole thing is to make a complete break.

Does he think that his name will live in infamy once people discover that his new "cure" will extend lifetimes, make all pregnancies successful and thus overpopulate the world?  I suppose that would make his decision logical.  But I'd think if it were something like that he'd want to start researching a solution to the problem (space colonization?  undersea living?  matter conversion into food?) right away rather than hiding.  After all, he apparently considered himself both the most intelligent and the wealthiest person on the planet; even if the intelligence is still there in her new body, some of the money would make research easier.

Eric

Those of a high iq tend to fail when it comes to grammar, look i have dyslexia and do worry people wince people seam to be not able to over look such a SMALL thing such as grammar and just look at the story and injoy it i do not think there will be any more after all the ones that i posted already i think that there is one more chop this one up to another one that will never be finished.

Well to defend the author on a point, small children use that term all the time. My 4 year old niece loves to say kk. I'm thinking it’s from one of the TV shows she watches. I've tried to get her to say ok, but she always replies kk. Sometimes she is a very frustrating child =)

I agree with the other posters though, you had a good concept but it went downhill quickly with the sentence structure and grammar issues.

Hopefully in future parts you'll have someone review it first to catch any of the errors that might come up! =) (please?!?!? =)

Thank you for posting your story, look forward to seeing what is next

Ashley the Good Kitty gone BAD

Strange, in the opening you boast that you have an IQ "so high they do not have a number for it" yet the story rapidly gets messy and barely shows any intelligence.

Responses like 'bone head' hardly increase your ranking on the IQ-scale.

Look it is a LITTLE kid talking.  you bone head.

please use spell check, 4 is not an acceptable replacement for the word "for" and I have never heard anyone speak the internet word kk.