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Distrust - A Life Altering Noun
by SparkyX

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Comment by CC on 04/22/09
Pretty good story, however it could use a bit more fleshing out of the storyline.

Comment by julie j on 11/10/04
intesting but not to my taste

Comment by Mark N. on 10/04/03
I found this story to be quite interesting! I can see the point that the other reviewers made, but why do we need to resolve where the real Sarah is? Sarah's existence being replaced with Josh's is no more far-fetched than a man changing into a woman in the first place! From the way I understand it, where Sarah was in California, she isn't anymore because she is Josh and Josh is her...Very clever using clothing as the antagonist for transformation. I'd freak out if I became my wife so I will just let her clothes right where they are ;-)

Comment by Eric on 09/08/03
Interesting story, but it'd work better as fantasy/magic than as SF.

As Terri suggests, there are holes in the logic, not only as to where the originals of the two women ended up but also the selective memory issues -- the hero can't know what he needs to after the transformation, or you don't have a story, but he can't be completely ignorant either, or he wouldn't be convincing with Julie or at work.  And Becky's knowledge surrounding her own transformation isn't quite consistent, it seems to me, with what Sarah/Josh remembers afterward (assuming I'm reading that right -- that S/J can't remember any detail of any interaction between the two of them since before they were married, from either point of view, and can only piece things together from whatever documentary evidence remains, plus conversations with Becky and Julie).

In fact, the story might work better with Becky as some kind of evil instigator, since we only know from her that there was a 24-hour effect and that it was exceeded in this case.  Again, 24 hours works better, IMO, with fantasy/magic than with science; why would the rotation period of the earth determine the effect of the cell transformation?  More to the point, how would Becky know, unless she's been experimenting systematically, what the correct period was?

The story has to treat Becky's explanation as persuasive, since there's no other way, given the first-person narration, to let us know what happened.  Yet she seems on the one hand to know more than she should about it and on the other to be strangely unconcerned about crucial issues like the whereabouts of the originals.  It's not enough to say that they're under some gravitational compulsion not to come home; there's the whole question of the driver's license, credit cards, wedding ring, etc., that the real Sarah is using in California, and analogous material (except for the ring) that the real Becky presumably had, since they'll have to be declared lost or stolen for replacements to be issued.  (And how did Becky/Jeff know that the engagement ring was necessary in Sarah's case if Jeff hadn't been engaged or married to Becky originally?)

Am I right in getting an unsettling undertone here that Becky/Jeff knows or strongly suspects that creation of a new Becky and Sarah has destroyed the originals -- some sort of conservation of identity law -- and that's why she's not worried about it?

Or -- taking the whole thing one step further -- are we supposed to look past the naive, memory-damaged narrator and see Becky as a more sinister character than Sarah thinks?  If so, it seems to me that you need to do a lot more: give Becky a motive, for one thing, for doing away with Josh and/or replacing Sarah, and provide the reader with some way of knowing how much if any of Becky's story is true.

I hope you find some of this, at least, to be constructive...

Best, Eric

Comment by Terri on 09/07/03
Hey- wait a minute! Sarah didn't just "not come home"- she was still around- I assume that the paralegal convention eventually ended- she had plane tickets back- why wouldn't she come back home? Where else would she go? The ending was a bummer- a rewrite is in order. How about the "real" Sarah showing up- getting that untangled would be much more satisfying. All due respect to the author- but I think you're playing fast and loose with your readers.



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