Alakazaam-information found, problem soelvd, thanks!

typing errors need working on but other then that it was good

another great story but ver spoilt by the grammer&other typing errors the story is hard hitting but very intresting and well worth the read

My opinion is the same as the first person. The bad grammer in the story kept interupting me from getting into the flow of the story. I quit after page 2 also.

Hon, your story looked like it had great promise but I could not get past page 2 because of all the spelling and grammar errors which were WAYYYYY too distracting.  Please consider using an editor, or at the very least the spelling and grammar tools offered by a word processing program like Microsoft Word. Take your time, think.  Remember you are painting pictures with you words.  Better luck next time!

Kisses!!

Sissy Prissy
XOXOX

Danker,

I was pretty surprised by your story. It started as a "bad boy" to "good girl" but became a "scary-bad boy" to "can't-tell-if-she-is good girl". I thought that it worked pretty well at the level of pure fantasy because when you make a point you really, really exagerate upon it. I can summarize my reaction by noting that what your story lacks in subtleness it more than compensates for in shocking detail.

Thank you for taking the time to write and post this story.

anonymousOne