Another beautiful story of a mother turning her son into a beautiful girl.I loved it.

Although I agree with the other contributors I still love when a young boy wants to be a girl. Well done and thanks.

I have to agree with Julie; rushing the story weakened it as a whole. Now, I do write myself (not on this site but I do write a few TG stories) and the biggest part about the story is the pacing. You had everything happen too fast, without giving the reader enough time to digest the story, and your characters came across as somewhat self-motivated and shallow.

The Mother seemed wishy-washy and seemed extremely easy to persuade towards any goal.
"I shouldn't do this"
"Oh but you should!"
"okay."

Also, the boy must have been very ummm...sheltered, as in no male friends, to not have noticed something different between his room and his friend's room. FInally, this neighbour (helen was it?) was really interested in feminizing this young boy. Very interested. Creepily interested.

I understand and appreciate what you were aiming for, but do to the rushed feeling of the story, your characters fell short of the mark. Helen came across (to me) as a manipulative neighbour who just wanted to see "If she would do it", the mother came across as indecisive and the boy...the boy didn't leave any impact on me at all.

In closing, a very good attempt, but in the future don't rush the story so much, it will strengthen your characters as a whole. ^^

I hope you read it.
Great story, simple and full of love.
Silvia.

    Good story ... This could be longer with more detail ...

you show a great potenial with writing keep up the good work...

thank you Rone :)

Hi Jill ...  Well ... your vocabulary is very good, but you have a couple problems.  I think you are a little abrupt, and rush your storyline, rather than let it unfold slowly.  It seemed like you just couldn't wait to tell your readers his Mom and her friend would be willing to do anything to make him a girl ..  the hormones .. without batting an eye, and the way the boy would jump at the chanve of being a girl .. without any thought or deliberation.
  Also as a result of your rush to tell your story you are guilty of run-on sentences.  This is a turn-off for most readers, as it doesn't allow them to take a breath and digest the story.  I suggest you look at your first two paragraphs, and see if you couldn't have written them just a bit better.
  Sorry for the criticism, but after reading your post ... very nice, I had to take a look at your story writing. Normally I would have stopped after reading your first paragraph and moved on to another story teller.  
  Just a tip ... write your stories as if you are sitting next to someone, and telling them a story.
                    Best Wishes, Julie