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Story Comments by Readers

Happy New Year
by Slave Jade

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Comment by juliej on 08/23/06
could be a good story to fast  alot of spelling mistakes that needs to be sorted out i would suggest that you rewrite and resubmit this story so that we can get a proper good read out of it

Comment by Karon on 06/05/05
You need to go back to school.  Learn capital letters, sentences, paragraphs, known as proper grammar.  
Your thoughts are there for stories, just learn how to write.

Comment by Karon on 06/05/05
You need to go back to school.  Learn capital letters, sentences, paragraphs know as proper grammar.  
Your thoughts are there for stories, just learn how to write.

Comment by Peg_Thebois on 05/16/05
This could have been an excelent story if you had written it differently.  It needed to be at least four or five times as long as it was.  Described the sensation of sucking that cock.  Don't just say you were scared tell about the nervous tightness in your stomach, watching his face for signs of recognition, mentally expressed concearns about what could happen if he had recognized.  This makes a very good plot outline, now can you make it a story.



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