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Hard Hal
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Comment by Silvia. on 01/14/12
This story is ridiculous! Comment by DEE on 09/30/07 GREAT STORY OF ANOTHER CRASY PERSON ON WHO FEMINENITY HAS BEEN Comment by A Reader on 06/03/04 An excellent story, which I found entirely believable. Comment by Sheryl S. on 11/20/03 Memorably haunting and quite realistiic in many ways. You did a superb job of depicting the wife's self-righteous psychosis and the terror of the situation. I think this is so good that you should consider buillding upon it more instead of rushing to a resolution. People alter and re-submit stories all the time here and you couldn't choose a better environment for development. Don't rush. Take it more slowly. One potential variation on the theme: Hal could try to get his wife to go with him to therapy, and when turned down, go on his own to explore why he enjoys humiliation and why he associates that with shame and femininity. This is rich soil for growth. I'd love to read more. Comment by Jill on 11/17/03 By the way. I'm the same Jill that commented on Pirates and Maidens. I still think you have a natural sweetness that comes through in your stories. I love the way the dad thought first of his son, rather than about his own humiliation. Bravo. Comment by Jill on 11/17/03 Congratulations on a good story. Comment by Annie O on 11/16/03 The point of the woman going to go find a "Real Man" seems to be an all too common theme in stories. Comment by Mina on 11/15/03 This story starts a lot better than it ends. You build up to something and instead of drawing it out, so she can humiliate him in front of his son and maybe even get to the point of role reversal, she leaves and he enjoys his corselette. Very good idea, very well introduced and very poorly ended. You can do better than this. The first half proved it. |
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