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How I Spent a Stormy Night
by Vicky Love

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Comment by leah on 06/05/03
Dear Vicky L,

     With your very first words, I knew we were in for a campy ride, but with the 9th word, my interest suddenly fell off. From good to not so good in a hurry:

     It was a dark, stormy night as I lied on my couch

What were you doing telling lies on the couch? To whom were you telling them? Well, of course, my questions are useless, because you just plugged in the wrong word.

Hope you will proofread a bit more carefully on your next story. I know that I'm nit-picking here, but it does make a difference. (I'm also leaving myself open to instant critique if I write less than perfectly,
but I can handle it. (Although I did indeed mess up on a comment yesterday!))

Now as to the story -- Whew! It's good to be indulged in sensual frolics like this from time to time, but I hope you'll work out some plots that bring us some suspense to go along with our main underlying theme here.

Good start. Sorry if I come across as too grouchy.            leah

Comment by Pervette on 06/05/03
I don't know where all these nice, hunky pizza boys are.  They sure
aren't in my neighborhood!
.
Nice story.  Hope she has as much fun at the glory hole!
.
--Pervy

Comment by Paula on 06/04/03
a lovely sweet night it was



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