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I Was Only Helping Out Some Friends Hockey Team
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Comment by Silvia. on 07/08/09
You're a good writer. Good story. Comment by hippie cheerleader on 05/16/07 Dear Lauran: Actually, quite charming. Are you planning a sequel? I'm curious to see where this friendship goes. Yes, there were punctuation problems and what appear to be typos, but those things can be corrected. The story reminded me of a few other tales in which boys masqueraded as girls to join and/or help out cheerleading squads. I'm assuming you're English, by the way. I'm a big MONTY PYTHON fan and have visited England eight times to attend folk/folk-rock festivals and related events. Looking forward to reading more of your work. Comment by Rone Welles on 05/14/07 Well done , this is a fun story and the concept is good .. Comment by Patricia Pendragon on 05/13/07 Something like this happened to me for real in the early 70's. My then girlfriend played for a Provincial Team - and they needed a substitute goalie in a hurry for a match. I was black and blue - and very glad of the body armour - by the end of it! Might have fared better if I had undergone a drastic change first. Comment by a guy on 05/12/07 it looks like it might have been a sweet story, but due to punctuation mistakes and writing style it was almost unreadable. you really need to study commas and quote marks. nice possibilities, but poor execution. |
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