John's statement that he had agreed to become Carla's maid but had not agreed to become a subject for embarrassment was correct. The purpose of this agreement was supposed to relieve John of the stress of his computer work, replacing it with the stress of embarrassment would offer no relief but would probably have a deleterious effect. It would have been interesting if, in chapter 1's Shirley Temple incident, John had said that he refused to be embarrassed and intended to leave adding that if Carla made no sincere effort to stop him, it would confirm that she no longer cared for him and that this farce had some ulterior motif for which she would be the only beneficiary.

Many forced feminisation stories use Power of Attorney to take control of their victims property but P of A does not give absolute control, it can be easily revoked at any time. The law requires that all assets and income remain in the original owners name and periodic audits are mandatory to ensure that management of the estate is in the best interest of the owner. Any discrepancy will require complete restitution and may also result in fines or jail sentences for the miscreant. The government may also appoint a manager to take over control.
The story established that John/Jaqui could be proved to be the same person using finger prints and DNA so transfer of assets would be immediate, any restrictive clauses affecting the original owner would have been illegal anyway.

  So what happened to Carla and Melissa ? There was a brief mention of a financial and property settlement,  was that the only retribution made ? I was expecting something more imaginative and fitting for the treatment Jacqui/John had received.

OzzrYx Been a busy weekend, but I took a little time to refill the “Gun Death?” magazine as it ran dry with this morning’s post. Was talking about a few of the upcoming stories that I’m particularly impressed with, and she

An absolutely amazing story...Its 5 in the morning and i only just finished reading it. A brilliant ending! I recomend everyone read this, its definately the best TG story i've ever read.

This has got to be the best written story I have read on the website! Brilliantly conceived, good English and utterly believable! I wish I could read more of these!!

Eyelash extensions are an entirely new method of enhancing the length and thickness of eyelashes.

To find everything you need to know about hair extensions you've come to the best place.

Beauty is not just about the hair and face, but also the nails and other parts of the body.

I read the first chapter and it was very well written and intriguing. I cant wait to read more.

Simply put, I loved the story.

I could not stop reading this, having to complete it in the wee hours of the morning.  It is simply too good to put down, as it were.  The writing style is sophisticated while maintaining one's interest.  

I especially appreciated the way Carla's interaction with John/Jaqui was depicted.  Being initially attracted to John's (actually Jaqui's) sensitive nature, she discovers her aversion to what she see's as his weakness.  John's failure at handling the stress of a life he is not suited to only exacerbates the problem.  

Her plan to get what she sees as hers and destroy John/Jaqui is diabolical and absolutely the product of her own dysfunctional past.  Note how Carla is cruel and unbending unless Jaqui uses her real strength and anger to resist her wife.  Only in those moments does Carla react in anything resembling affection for the creature she has helped to bring forth.  Her manner seems a unique blend of true psychological torture (alternating horrible treatment with brief respites of faux kindness) and her own twisted needs.  She seems at times to actually be hoping that John will burst forth from Jaqui as a man reborn--a strong, forceful man who will take charge.

Unfortunately for both John and Carla, that is simply not in the cards.  Carla grows increasingly bitter and determined to shove Jaqui's nose in John's inadequacies, her mood swings grow more erratic and her punishments more bizarre.

I appreciate the attention to detail that you bring to this story.  Everything you write about--be it clothing, legal issues, dining (world geography!)--seems to have been thought out and researched.  Either that, or you know a heck of a lot about a heck of a lot!

The ending is very satisfying for me.  Being a heterosexual male who has had fantasies of being a woman--and primarily a lesbian--I can not imagine the female me being with any man who was not strong, caring and loving.  After all, isn't love what we all want in the end?

I found the story more intelluctual than most TG fiction.  Also it did not have endless decriptions of sexual encounters.  For these reasons I like it.

For those who do not like it, why did it take you 131,000 words to discover this?  For the non intelluctual's let me say this very simply:  If every story that was not liked by someone was taken off the net, then we would not have any stories.  Or to put it another way, if there were no mediocre and bad stories how would you identify a good one?

Of course where I come from, "All the men are good looking, all the women are strong and all the childern are above average."

You took it down at FM and thank you for that. It's just like all your other mediocre stories. Combined with your miserable, confrontational attitude on FM's Hyperboard and on the Cyberboard here, why anyone wants to read them is beyond me.

An absolutely marvellous work, it held me enthralled from first word to last. A wonderful piece of writing. WELL DONE.

Thanks again to everyone for their comments. It's even nice to see something of a debate take place here.  For whatever reason, Jacqui has elicited a discussion about femdom and whether or not Jacqui itself is "just" a Vickie Tern knock-off (as if that might be a bad thing).  

American movies exploited the Western to tell many different kinds
of (mostly moral) tales.  To take the best of them and say, "it's just a western," and not explore it on any other level means
that you have failed to appreciate what the story teller was trying
to accomplish (Of course, the story teller could have failed as well).

So too with femdom stories. There are lots of femdom stories that are written for the thrill (typically sexual) that being dominated gives many of us. I guess those are "just" femdom stories.  But some other stories reach deeper (Tigger's Season's stories for example) and touch us for those reasons.  Is Jacqui femdom? Sure it is. Is it a maid story?  You bet.  Is it only a femdom, maid story? I don't think so and I certainly hope not, but that's for readers to decide.

But they have to look first, and if all this arguing about whether or not Jacqui's femdom or a rip-off of Vickie Tern (why couldn't it be an exploration of a genre she's clearly mastered), and what that means to individual writers (whose opions are worth gold to me) distracts people from looking more deeply, that would be too bad.

As Jill pointed out already (see below) by picking out what may be the key line of the story, Jacqui is really a story about the double-edge sword of trust. On the one hand, trusting sets you up to be taken advantage of and to be betrayed. Those who trust, especially when they think the other person is acting out of love, are the easiest to betray. Vickie Tern understands this clearly and exploits it with great skill. Jacqui's trust in Carla allowed Carla to betray her, and if Jacqui had turned into someone like Carla by hardening her heart in response to what Carla did to her, she would have ended up a very unhappy girl indeed.

But on the other hand trust can lead to love. In fact, I would go so
far as to say that if you can't trust you can never really love. In
the end, that's what saves Jacqui. She discovers that she might be
able to love Kurt, opens her heart to him (which is no easy thing because it really does force her to explore her sexual identity), and ends up with a grateful and generous love from Kurt she never could have gotten from the psychologically damaged and ultimately bitter Carla.

So I disagree with Pervy, Kurt is so much a better mate than Carla ever could have been.  His calm self-confidence and nurturing heart allow Jacqui to emerge as a person in a way that she probably never would have otherwise.  And she had to survive loss of status and business, live through humiliation and betrayal, and ultimately end up with over-the-top physical characteristics to do that. Any one of those things might have done her in, but none of them did.  Good for her.

BTW Pervy, if you want to read a therapeutic femdom story, try my New Job. Many readers have found the first part kinda rough, but the rest of the story is a heart warmer. If you cry easily, you'll need a box or two of tissues.

Kelly Ann  

Well, it was just as I feared: it looked for a while as if it was
going to become a feminization-as-therapy story, a vein worked so
seldom that I can't remember the last such story I read.  Instead,
it turned into just another vicious, feminizing wife story. And
poor John/Jacqui! Are we supposed to think that ending was victory?
The most he did was salvage something from the ruin of his life.
.
The experience changed him, all right, & it did away with the old
John; but the change was not for the better. Jacquie is no great
improvement over John. I saw no special warmth or sympathy in her,
& the only real benefit John derived, if you can call it that, was
revenge--that & being free of a wife he would never have married
in the first place, had he known.  And Kurt struck me as a poor
alternative to the wife I wish he had had.
.
Pervy

This is one of the best TG authors works I have ever read. The writer is obviously a professional. I can only add "BRAVO" and thanks for a fantastic effort.

After reading the final chapter:  BRAVO!  and thank you to both of you.  What a roller coaster; femdom as it should be written.  

The power of love is a curious thing
Make a one man weep
Make another man sing
Change a hawk to a little white dove
More than a feeling
That's the power of love

This story has kept me guessing.  The plot changes remind me of the movie 'Charade'.  You're never really sure who is what in relationship to which character.  Even at this late date, I'm not totally convinced Jacqui is in good hands with her betrothed. I still hold out hope that Carla is acting in Jacqui's best interest.

As Kurt said, "It is only people who trust others who can be taken advantage of, but if you don't believe in the people you love enough to trust them, life is terribly lonely."

I've lost several $millions by trusting the wrong people.  I've made several $millions by trusting others.  People seem to want to focus on the money I've lost.  The same personality traits that led to my successes have also caused my downfalls.

Your story speaks to my heart.  It is much more than a simple story of betrayal.  It is an examination of love and innocence.

It is a masterful tale of good versus evil.  Carla is the most evil villain since Darth Vader.  Melissa is the equal of Cruella De Vil.

No matter how you end this story I'm sure I will be satisfied.

Much love to both of you for bringing this stupendous work to Storysite.  You are most generous to share your creativity and skill.

Jill

By The Way:  If this is made into a movie, I would love to see Lucy Liu as Jacqui, Julia Robertson as Carla (Julia could play the contrasting good/evil role to the hilt.), Julia's co-star from Pretty Woman would be perfect as Kurt - Richard Gere. I would go off the board to get Rosie O'Donnell to play Melissa (same good/evil dichotomy) and Michael Caine for Henry because I love Michael Caine... If you need some fun rent the indie movie "Little Voice".

RE:  Part X addendum:  50 years ago, Betty Davis or Joan Crawford  for Carla - Come on gang, let's cast this film!  Arnold Schwarzenegger for Kurt?  Lucy Lawless for Jacqui?

RE:  Part X:  We've had several very pro-Jacqui chapters with Jacqui making friends, and now everything seems heading toward a happy conclusion.  While I hope things do end well for jacqui and that carla and Melissa end up as sex bitches for 300 pound dykes in ladies prison, I sense a set up.  BTW, I also think this could be made into a viable movie, particularly, as has been suggested, in Australia.  I think Angelica Huston could do a very good Carla.

I hope someone reading this site is a screenwriter because this story would make an excellent full length movie. Besides showing some of the T-world, one could play on what it's like to be percieved as an immigrant.Change of sex and nationality in one big hit. And unlike "Black Like Me", no way back. That approach would go over especially well in Australia, which is very sensitive about immigration and is more willing to take chances on film plots than Hollywood. Somebody write a screenplay and Karen and Kelly, pitch it to the studio that made "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert"!

My congratulations to both Karen and Kelly on a truly epic T-Story that's certain to become a classic.  I was hooked by the time I finished Part II and have eagerly awaited Parts VI, and VII (I started reading when the first 5 parts were already posted).  

I agree with Jezzi Belle Stewart that some parts of the narrative seem to have been omitted, but with the volume of material, one can rather easily fill in these gaps.  I also noticed some inconsistencies, all except one of which don't alter the story plot.  Perhaps in my ravenous reading I missed it, but "The contract" between John and Carla was initially for 3 MONTHS.  This is how she got John to "give it a try."  Then later in the story, the contract is referred to as for 3 YEARS.  At the time 3 years is mentioned, it makes much more sense that Jacqui is looking at a prolonged agreement, but I never understood the transition.

Okay, I can't stand waiting any long, after I post this, it's a letter off to Karen requesting the tale in one lump sum.  

Amber Palmer

Dear Kelly's:
Well, as you know I've already read your first combined effort on this story and was privileged to add some comments that are going to be incorporated in the last chapter. I just wrote this e-mail to congratulate you both on the many possitive messages you've received so far from this posting. You can be sure I'll have some words to add once I read that last chapter! Keep writing.

When I was given an almost completed version of this story by Karen Ann a few months ago I just couldn't stop until I'd read the whole thing.  We had an enjoyable chat about the various relationships and both Karen Ann and I argued our differences thoroughly.  However in the end, this story has ended up in my 'Favourite stories' folder and rightly so!

Great stuff both of you - 'Jacqui' is heading in one direction only - to the TG Classics section of any library!  Thank you both for your efforts.

Geoff

RE:  Part VI:
WOW!  Betrayed by everyone!  So Carla and melissa WERE good cop, bad cop!  I thought so.  I would have thought Jacqui would have gone off the deep end when Carla and Melissa brought out the belt again and fought until they either knocked her out or she died, but she's a survivor.  I would hope that Kurt would not betray her, too, but I'm not too hopeful.  Kelly Ann wrote that this is about jacqui's dream. I don't think so; from what was written, what is happening to her is not her dream, it is a nightmare.  I DO SO WANT JACQUI TO WIN!  Carla and Melissa deserve to die a slow and horrible death.  

Why?  Why?  Why?  I just finished reading part IV.  Why couldn't John do his three months to sober up and get squared away, then go back to a new manager/technican arrangement with Carla?

I will read the daily readings; however, in the end, if Carla wins and John/Jacqui loses, I will be very upset.  I read one Vicky Tern story, and it left such a bad taste, I never read another of her stories.  I hope this will not end the same way.

I must admit, the writing is great.  I just wish the tale was more pleasant.

Hi girls,

Thanks so much for all the comments you are leaving here.  I'm so excited to see them I could burst from the pleasure of it.

I'd like to reiterate Jezzi Belle's request.  If you've read the whole thing, please confine your comments to emails to Karen Ann and I (and you should write those in vast numbers), and allow the readers who are following the story as it unfolds on a daily basis to form their own opinions about things.

Does this story have echoes of Vickie Tern?  Sure it does.  That's because Femdom is one of the most popular themes in T-fiction, and if you've read any of my or Karen Anne's work, you know we both like to write about it.

But by now, you must have also realized that this story is about Jacuqi and how she adapts to more or less getting her dream.  Enjoy her ride.  
 

RE:  Part IV:  I noticed this before in earlier parts.  There seem to be parts left out:

" In the warm embrace of that hope, and despite the way she had treated me, I wiped away all my doubts and allowed my love for Carla to take charge of my feelings. I liked the way I felt when I allowed my love for her to the surface.   /    Though we were technically supposed to stagger our breaks, in the weeks that had preceded the party, this had proved to be pointless. Melissa and I worked well both together and by ourselves. We developed a routine that worked for us and got our jobs done too."

All of a sudden it changed, in the same paragraph, from a tender scene between Carla and Jacqui to a description of Jacqui and Melissa's schedule.  It was as if the moments of Carla-Jacqui time suggested by  carla never took place, as we get:

"I felt like we were now adversaries. She was not to be trusted."

but there is no explanation.

I must admit that both Carla and John/Jacqui are much more complex individuals then their counterparts in a Vickie Tern story.  I like the fact that Jacqui is a natural submissive, knows it, and is trying to use her intellect to fight it.  This is what human beings do, use the intellect that God gives them to overcome the animal programing and cultural conditioning we are pre-programed with or have no control over having.  I hope she succeeds.  I still think Carla and Melissa are in cahoots, and I'm wondering if Kurt's "discovery" is really part of the master (or mistress :-) plan.

To others:  If you've read the whole story, please don't comment on it or on parts of it that we who are following it installment by installment haven't read yet.  Since I agreed with almost all of what Scrambler said before  I now can be pretty sure, due to what he just posted,  that I won't care for the ending either, and I would have prefered to keep my hope that Carla was not a total bitch awhile longer.

Tomorrow, (8-23-02) is my birthday, so I am waiting for the installment so I can have another present!
Right now I am empathetic with what seems to be the death of Jacqui and Carla's marriage. I feel so much pain for Jacqui!
Can't wait to see what happens.

I love the story of the male to maid very good .I really enjoyed it.

Keep up the good work

Well thanks to Karen Anne sending me the complete story I no longer need to beat myself over the head each night waiting for the clock to tick away for the next posting.  Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!

Now onto the review :)

AMAZING!

While thingings didn't go the way I had hoped and held to some the ties that I was kind of against the whole story drew me into one wild roller coaster of a ride!  If your just getting into the story let me put is bluntly don't count your panites yet if you think you've got this one in the bag.  

I was in boiling rage at some points, wanitng not more than to find Carla and give that bitch a taste of her own kinky ideas of life.  At other parts I was having my mind spin off into all kinds of what ifs and how I thought thing would end.

I'm very torn about Carla and once you finish this story you might be as well.  She is in my eyes a very nasty bitch!  She doens't understand love or has a very, very screwed up idea of it.  Yet at the end I felt sorry for her.  It became very clear (to me at least) that she wasn't right in the head.  That doesn't make up for what she did however.  But hey this is fantasy :)

I won't spoil the story of anyone but I for one was happy with the way things went and hope Jacpui and very happy life.  Just hope that you never marry a girl like Carla :)

Enjoy the story.  I know I did.

-J-

It's interesting reading the previous reviews as I had the pleasure of reading Jacqui as drafts and in the completed final form (So Zip don't worry).

Karen Anne and Kelly Ann have definitely not written a Vickie Tern story, this tale has lots of neat twists and turns yet.

The outcome will surprise you and the writing from these two great authors will amaze you. Hang in there and enjoy.

 

I like this story, sure a lot of the themes feels familiar.  But it just goes to prove that plot isn't nearly as important as good characterization.

And I disagree with the reviews below, Vicky Tern is an excellent writer but she doesn't own the manipulative wife genre.

Keep up the good work. I can't wait to read the rest.

I agree with Scrambler J and Pervy except that I am beginning to see Carla as a Vickie Tern wife.  John/Jacqui has to be pretty stupid (like a Vickie Tern husband) if he hasn't figured out that Melissa and carla are in cahoots.  I really hope this doesn't turn into the typical Vickie Tern story - for one thing no one does Vickie stories better than Vickie.  I don't see Jacqui's making out with Melissa as really cheating; his wife has manipulated him into that damn belt and virtually abandoned him.  Her bedding another man really would be cheating.  I'm really looking forward to when the three month "trial" is up.  I hope I'm wrong, but I think Carla has plans for the "trial" to become permanent. Is she planning on Jacqui becoming so submissive that she can browbeat her into continuing, or is there some other trick?  My ideal would be for John, while secretly wanting to stay Jacqui, but as an equal girlfriend to Carla, tells her now that the trial is over he wants to be John again, and then uses that as a bargaining chip to become Jacqui as an equal.  I also like ScramblerJ's idea of a crisis at work that only John, or Jacqui using John's skills and ability, can fix, and that being used as a bargaining chip.  I hope Carla really does love John, but if Carla is a VT bitch, I want John/Jacqui to win.    I guess I would like to see Jacqui as the center with both Carla and Melissa as lovers.  I definitely do NOT want to see Jacqui come to date/like men, and if that is carla's plan for "her", I hope "he" successfully resists.  Please don't try to out-Vickie Vickie!

I was right.  It would of been better to do a review of both two and three.  Oh, well.

Again a good story, but I'm starting to feel things going towards the kind of way most of these maid/slave stories seem to head.  And that makes me feel sad.  However if you enjoy those stoies 100 % this is a wonderful story for you to sink your teeth into and promises to be awesome story by the time it ends.

But if you are wanting something different.  Well you get that here and you don't.

Readers will enjoy the corset fitting.  I did for the most part.  Later we see that Carla makes an error in the size requirements for one of her maids.  We also see a backbone coming crashing forward from John.  That for me made up for a whole hell of a lot.   It was nice to see him put up a fight and not back down, while at the same time help Carla understand the limits to how to play out her kinky ideas.

The landscape crew to me is just a carbon copy of asshole men.  As a person that knows many people that work in repair work on homes and grounds no single one of them would be around if they act the one that ends up winning the bid for the job.  No matter how cheap they come.  The point of letting Jacpui seen by men while she was working around the house could of been done with others.  I hope that the jerk in this profession isn't used in future chapters.

We see more teasers in this chapter for Carla's masterplan, whatever it truely is.  One thing seems for sure is that very soon (I'm guessing at the up and coming party) Carla will get laid by a man that isn't her husband.  After all she makes it very clear that she doesn't have a husband right now.  Of coarse John/Jacpui ends up doing the same here.  I saw it coming a mile away and was let down that things came about like that.  I was kind of hoping that John would hold out a few weeks or months longer than the very, very short time he did before cheating.  To me neither of these people seem to truely understand marriage.  Both suck at it so far in the loyality factor (that is once Carla does cheat, if she hasn't already).  For me that marriage is over between these two or sh8uld be.  I could be wrong and by the end the two end up as to very happy lesbian/be-sexual lovers with a fetish of one dressing as a maid and the other the nasty, but loving employer.  

What is really great about this chapter is we see more of Jacpui questioning if she can be happy at working as a maid.  She wonders how her mind will take the lack of 'stress' she both hated and enjoyed in her male job. Top grades for this!

One thing I'm hoping for is that Jacpui not like Carla's plan for him.  And that at some point her company runs into a major problem that everyone is having a hard time fixing.  One that will cost the company more than the job that led poor John to become so overstressed.  Everyone there knows John could fix it and for some reason no one there can get if fixed 100% (they can get it working but not up to grade).  Carla has no choice but to return to seek her 'husbands' help yet Jacpui is hurt by something that happens and it takes some major kissing up to get HER to fix it.  For me that would be perfect.  I can only hope that you've both crafted something just as great.

The outfits Carla gets for her girls could be fun to read. And I'll hope for the best at the up and coming party and grand plan that Carla has, maybe your both just making us think your going one way when in truth we've got a whole different path coming for us.

-j-

Okay I'm sure that I'll regreat posting a review on part two before reading the third chapter, but here we go :)

Still a good story so far.  I'm starting to enjoy many things in the way everyone pays off one another.  But there are things that worry me.  Number is that at times the story starts to run head long into the basic..you slave..me master/mistress theme.  Which is cool so long as it isn't overplayed with the mistress or master destorying the life of the slave.  I do hope that Carla doesn't go how so many other stories along this line end up, with TG husband turned into a sextoy for his ex-wife's new husband.  Me, I'm hoping that the two remain devoted to each other for a long and happy life.  Even if Jacpui r does remain a maid.  Another thing that worries me is the way both Mel and Carla play off the way Jacpui is basic sexual assulted by 'her' boss/wife's new employee.  Sure Jacpui was made to give control over her company to her wife while 'he' is in recovery.  And to me no matter how much Carla or Mel want to enjoy a little kinky interplay I'd be pissed as hell to find that in a matter of a half hour or so a strange male forces a strange female to kiss him.  If I was Jacpui and entering into Carla little rehab adventer I would still perhaps say after Carla and Mel had a good laugh at the way I was forced to have a male kiss me say...mum what if he would do something like this in the company workplace?  I'm sure neiter Carla or John want to face  a sexual herassment lawsuit at work.  Those can do damage to your company's good name as well as the workplace.

That said and done.  A few things got me really into this second chapter.  Jacpui little driving outfit for one.  The twin theme building for number two.  But best of all was Mel's rather pissed off way that Carla seems to be pushing the kinky twist to both Jacpui and Mel's new life as her maids.  Corset a head!  

Well off to read number three.  

-J-

Darn... I should have made my comments before I read the previous comments...

What I was going to say was.....

WOW! This is not a good story, not a great story.. but one of the best around.  When I finished reading it, my nipples would have cut glass... and that other part was like an over-cooked piece of spagetti.  The LOVE I felt from the wife, was something good. The husband has problems... no debate there... but the wife appears to be trying to do what is needed to bring him back to being whole.

This co-mingling of ideas seems to be great. and I look forward to the rest of it.

I only hope that this will NOT be one of the many stories on the web, that are started and never finished. We have far too many of those.

Keep writing!

Zip

I have mixed feelings, so far.  Feminization by a wife who serious-
ly loves her man & has his best interests at heart is new to me.
This is no Vickie Tern wife by any means.  I find this a refreshing
change.  But she becomes too dictatorial by half, and at this point
I see the story slipping back to the well-worn forced-fem genre,
which had I hoped you were going to avoid.  So it's a nice story
idea--what am I saying, "nice"?  It's splendid--but the way it is
being worked out is likely to sacrifice a good deal of what makes
it so splendid.
.
Pervy

Great start to the story.  Maid transformation stories are not always ones that I enjoy, mostly due to the fact that the women that employee the maids treat them like shit!  I mean part of me understands the whole 'I'm in control' thing but far too many stories go way over the top on this.  I do you that Jacqui retains some of her male spine during this story.  Her wife has me jumping from way to the  other trying to peg her down.  One second she is a very kind and loving wife, the next second she is your basic hard ass bitch that ends up in just about every story dumping her husband for a real man and forcing the new maid husband to service both her and her new husband.  It should be a wild adventure trying to get to learning the truth behind Carla and what her total plan is for her husband/maid.  

Here is to hoping that each new chapter is as fun to read as this one

-j-

a very  good first part,can not wait for second part.This person has a brilliant flair for writing and appears to be able to adapt to many different ways of writing.Keep up this work