Chris is raised as and spends 18 years as a male, no hint is given that he has any transsexual feelings or any feelings that he has the soul of a woman, he is not described as effeminate and is indeed strong enough to do regular farm work.  In other words, there is no info given that Chris feels he is anything other than himself, a normal, healthy young MAN.  And when he's suddenly turned into a girl there is NO real adverse reaction???  He just accepts Meg's explanation, "Oh, that makes perfect sense." then allows her to turn him mentally into a girl also????  

I was really enjoying this story, looking forward to a lot of teen angst over the transformation, a lot of stuff about Chris first fighting and then slowly getting used to and accepting being Princess Kristy, a lot of consternation on the part of the prophets when Chris/Kristy doesn't automatically go along with their plans for Princess Kristy, but wham bam it's done; he's a happy well adjusted she-warrior in the blink of meg's magic, hapilly doing what other people decided she should do.  

Sorry to be so negative, but this seems to me really not a TG story at all.  It's a story about a young man who dies - at least there doesn't seem to be any of Chris left - and a Princess born full grown avenging her family. At least so far there doesn't seem to be any connection between the young man and the Princess. One leaves and the other appears.

Hi Kristy,

I like this story. The characters are well crafted and the plot is interesting. Your muse has inspired you very well. (Also the hint at what happens in the next episode is a fantastic way of maintaining your readers' interest)

Ok, so you probably knew there was a "but" in here somewhere. I find the writing style to be very simplistic, as if the story was being told to a three-year old child. You might try explaining the use of magical energies a little more, as in when they are used as weapons, or a more in depth history of the whole kingdom. Maybe try delving into the motivations and inner feelings of your main characters. What drives these people to do what they are doing? (Things are NEVER as simple as pure good versus pure evil, exept to a three-year old child)

Also, the lack of editorial correction distracts from what is essentially a GREAT story.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, get yourself a REALLY GOOD editor and whatever else you do continue writing.

sincerely,

HER