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More Than Just A Crush
by Jennifer White

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Comment by me suba on 12/21/18
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Comment by crorkz on 08/04/14
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Comment by juliej on 05/01/08
as per my previous comments

Comment by juliej on 03/04/07
an interesting story that went quickly i did not see this coming its well worth a bit more addition to this

Comment by Sarah H. on 02/23/07
Very good story, did not see all of that coming..

Comment by Kim West on 02/20/07
Just so we get a clear idea of just what a sloppy story this truly is, let me do a synopsis.

The main character Aaron is hopelessly in love with the beautiful, yet distant girl named Wendy. She laughs in his face and belittles him by telling the boy he has nothing more than a crush on her. Aaron, not daunted, tries to prove his love by doing anything Wendy asks of him. She responds to this with a challenge, she tells him to drink a strange pink liquid, and he obeys. So far, very predictable, but not sloppy.
 
The boy quickly turns into a girl, which is fine for a drug induced story. Where it becomes ridiculous is when his clothing also changes. Either make Wendy a witch performing a magical transformation or keep it a physical change. That pink liquid shouldn’t have any effect on clothing, and certainly shouldn’t be able to make a tampon magically appear within Aaron. It’s as if the author couldn’t decide what to do, so she combined things making a rather sloppy half hazard effort.

Despite being tricked and manipulated into becoming a girl, Aaron still insists that she loves Wendy. Why this is, I have no real idea. Her mean spirit, especially towards anything resembling a male, her tendency to lie, to force Aaron to constantly jump through hoops to prove her love, and what she ends up doing at the end of the story can not be positive things.  Aaron proved her love was not a simple lust for Wendy’s body, so what does Wendy say to her in return? She will only return that love if Aaron stays a girl. What a hypocrite, all that talk about love having to be more than just physical and she has the audacity to pull that. Instead of walking out on her, Aaron agrees to stay a girl, but there is a problem. If there is more than one girl, then problems will arise with school records, so Wendy drinks the blue potion and becomes a boy. Not just a boy, but magically transformed into the exact image of Aaron when she was a boy. While this is happening Wendy is kissing Aaron/Jill which causes her to change into a duplicate of Wendy. So these potions can change your gender, change clothing, change the way you look to the point it knows exactly how to make you look like another person, but has no way to alter school records or people’s memories? The author is allowing magical properties when it fancies her whims, but fails to keep the story consistent as a result. She would’ve done far better to do a body swap story instead.


Kim


Comment by Donna Dee on 02/19/07
You may use chemicals a lot to effect your transitions (as accused by others) but your stories are refreshingly different - I love most of them

Comment by Some fella on 02/18/07
Yeah, Jennifer, give us a forced into Diapers story or a dare as a change! :P

Comment by Eric on 02/17/07
Enjoyable well written story. I don't think the mecchanism of change is important. Just how well the story is written.I like it that  they become each other! So there are no missing persons.

Comment by Skirt Boy... on 02/17/07
Jennifer, I usually love your stories, but I'm getting really tired of the chemically-induced change type of stories because they are much too easy a rhetorical device.
Love, and a curtsy,
Skirt Boy



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