VwqNrJ Souls in the Waves Great Morning, I just stopped in to go to your website and assumed I would say I enjoyed myself.

Badddddddddd !
Silvia.

as per previous comments

i liked this story a lot it is straight forward &factual as stated in the begining a very good read & the writer is to be complimented on this story well done well written More please

Loved this story, clearly someone with an interesting mind, and better still you're from good old Britain too! It was erotic throughout without any hint of sexual encounter, that is not easy to do. Keep posting, or email me!

interesting story of bad girl....very smoothly done. keep writing.

First, the good: The structure and mechanics of your writing were very good.  No major spelling or grammer problems (though a few minor ones that I was able to overlook).  I personally enjoyed the clothing and bondage descriptions.  The story was erotic to me.

Now, the um...less than good:  The story development was perplexing.  You would do well to explain some of the colloquialisms, such as "school sixth form", "bank holiday", and "boot".  Though I know what "boot" is, and I can guess the others, it would help to explain them, since they are terms that are uncommon to those of us in the USA (a large portion of the audience here).  

I also found it unfathomable that police would EVER use a ball gag.  I see Geneva Convention violations written all over that.  Don't get me wrong - I love ball gags, but having the police use them flies in the face of logic.  There are more incomprehendables in the story, such as spread-eagle bondage at the girls school (can you say EXTREME fire hazard), rope gags, and such.  I realize this is your fantasy, but you need to give the reader better reasons for this behavior if you want them to buy into it.

The one other thing I question is this story's appropriateness on Storysite.  Storysite is primarily a TG site, and though this story follows typical TG storytelling, there is absolutely no mention of TG behavior in it.  As far as I can tell, the girl is a genetic girl from start to finish, albeit one who has an interesting experience.

Anyway, this is still an impressive start.  You have the makings of a good writer, but you just need to think out your story a little better and be slightly more cognizant of your audience.  Develop your characters and make sure there's some logic behind the actions, and your next story should be awesome.

Hugs,
-Ami