I agree with the chopiness........a little more work and it would be a great story. as for the total?
(per Ernest) To grow old is mandatory, to grow up is optional.
(added) To forgive is divine.
Hey 2 out of 3 ain't bad LOL

I liked this story, but reading it was like trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle only to find that the box of pieces contains the pieces from two different but similar puzzles mixed.  For example, the timing in this story seems way out of whack.  At the time David meets Rebekka...

<<  so perhaps my little, ( and I mean little….. I t had shrunk to about my pre-adolescent size) ... I was shaken to find that I had the beginnings of a pair of respectable breasts.  >>

... he still has a penis and he has only the beginnings of breasts; there was no mention of long hair.  Rebekka comments that he looks quite feminine but not that he looks like the blonde bombshell he describes himself as just three days later.   After those 3 days, having gotten the evidence he needs and calling his lawyer to have him make up divorce papers, he goes to sleep and wakes up that complete blonde bombshell woman with a vagina and C cup breasts totally healed from whatever surgery had been done and with hair to the middle of her back.

We never read of Rebekka again, even though David made quite a point of the fact that she was ruthless getting revenge on those who crossed her.  

Not nearly enough time has passed for all that surgery to happen; we know that because you wrote that at Alice's party  Ian is there with the divorce papers David asked him to prepare and made no mention of any lengthly passage of time.  Surely had enough time for all the surgery and healing to take place gone by, he would have tried to contact David and there would have been reprecussions from that.

At the end of the story, you write...

<<  I found out about six months after our dance with crazy Alice that she had done this for years and years. She would pick a family at random, infiltrate them somehow and then destroy them, all for nothing. >>

... yet In the beginning you write that David was "nearing the forty year mark" and had been married to Alice for 20 years.  Unless Alice was quite a bit older than David, she would have been very young to have done what she did to David for "years and years" before picking him.

This story was very choppy and it seemed to me like you wrote one story up to David going to sleep after smashing the pillow receiver, changed your mind, and continued with a different story.

This was a really, really great story! I thought the transformation was a little too deas ex machina, but otherwise this was a top notch story in terms of originality, language, eroticisim, and fun. I loved the French Maid scene! Again, top marks.

This was an interesting story.  Although, there were too many holes, too much left out.  Paragraph structure would also have been nice to see.  Shorter paragraphs make it easier to read and follow.  Danielle, you have interesting ideas.  A little review of grammer, sentence, and paragraph structure would help you a lot.

Thank you for contributing.