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Own Submission Real Story
by Anil

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Comment by juliej on 04/17/08
this is to fast not spelt correctly or placed in a story peaple can understand

Comment by Ami Lamida on 04/10/08
First, thank you for posting your story.  It was interesting to hear an Eastern view on cross-dressing.  I have seen pictures of Indian brides in full costume and they can be very beautiful.

Just a few suggestions:
1) If you're trying to tell a realistic story, you probably want to explain how a group of males magically produced a blouse and jewelry.  Seems impossible and reads that way.
2) You might want to explain the significance of "henna".  I have known an Indian girl in high school who got the henna paintings as part of a marital arrangement, but many of your readers haven't.
3) There is obviously a bit of a language barrier, though you did very well.  But you still may want to get a volunteer editor to check it over before you publish.

Keep on writing!


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