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Comment by Jamie Holloway on 05/23/13
I recall once when I was younger, I had to play the role of a woman in a play. It was embaresing but I reluctantly played the role. I really liked Tim, he seemed like such a nice and pleasant boy. Though he was a boy and not a sissy, he's like a boy or man who enjoys his feminine side too. Obviously, he ultimately enjoyed his feminization for the purpose of the dance theater, yet remained masculine.

It seems to me that no other boy except someone as nice as Tim would have agreed to play the girl's part as a maiden. The other boys would have refused and could not have been forced. I could see where he would have been gossiped about. I also could see that a tragic sequel to parts one and two might have placed him at Six Flags, first happy to be there, but when trying to group together with others as would be required when children are in a public place, the boys would outright reject him and sadly his so called friends would refuse to have Tim the sissy be with them.

I could see where another friendless outcast, the villianess, Mary Lou Bogart would wind up partnered with Tim (to his utter desolation) along with Greg and Penny together as boyfriend-girlfriend, and perhaps his so called "friends Leon and Jacques. In the end, a sequel could make Tim rise up and become the hero, perhaps by rescuing someone from harm, and regain his masculinity, yet not losing the feminity that he gained from acting as a maiden.

The end could see Tim as a happy and successful man with a loving wife and children, his wife being a girl named "Sarah" who grew to love him when he played the role of maiden in their 6th grade class performance, and made him her love forever. Sarah would see in Tim a real man, not afraid of his feminine side, but still a man, and glad that Penny rejected him as "boyfriend material."


Comment by Sharon on 09/09/10
Such a lovely story of a boy becoming a girl.He will love his mum buying his first bra,i know i did.

Comment by Silvia (from Brazil) on 01/31/10
My comment about this story is in the girls only-club. I wrote in the wrong story.
Bad story, I really didn't like.
Silvia.


Comment by ALISON MARY on 09/09/09
A good story BUT----Tim did not make a sacrifice,he was used,period.
By the teachers who did not have the intestinal fortitude to take on the dreaded Mary lou and her idiot mother--by the boys mother
and father who should have had a better understanding of their child.
Under the circumstances they should have been having a better liason
with the teachers who did not care if it tore the boy apart as long as they got what they wanted.The parents only got to see the teachers
on the night of the show.Thank God the boy didn't have mixed feelings
about his sexuality---or did he??ALISON

Comment by Debbie's Darling on 05/09/09
Sorry, but I beg to differ with the vast majority of opinions regarding the ending of this story. In the skillful hands of the masterful storyteller Pamela, it was quite deftly foreshadowed. For example, Tim's repeated inability to get Penny interested in any one-on-one with him, Greg's smirks, Jacques and the other boys' teasing, Mary Lou's sneering, and even the teachers' attitudes ("I don't know how we'll ever be able to see him as a boy again!") in spite of their gratitude at Tim's self-sacrificial willingness.

Oh, and don't forget Pamela's references (subtle but definitely present, particularly upon re-reading the story with newfound 20/20 "hindsight") as to just how smitten Penny and Greg are with each other. I don't really see Tim as ever having had a sporting chance as Penny's paramour in any event, regardless of whether he's a baseball-playing alpha-male hitting home runs for the cheering crowd or a petticoated, dolled-up omega male doing curtsies for the cheering crowd.

Greg (not Tim) is her guy, plain and simple, no matter how strongly any of us either (a) personally identify with Tim, or (b) are just plain sick and tired of all the Mary Lou Bogart types always getting their way in these stories. The way I read it, having Penny choose Tim over Greg would have been the surprising aberration, not the reverse.

The plot, storyline, characterization, pacing, and level of specificity are first-rate. Among the veritable cornucopia of well-done aspects I could choose from, Tim's mother's involvement was a particularly nice touch, particularly since she, like her son, was only a half-hearted participant at best. Putting her in the somewhat reluctant role as her hapless boy's bra-selector, bra-fitter, personal high-heeled-shoe shopper, pantie provider, pantyhose donor and trainer, plus makeup supplier (and applier) was indeed a wonderful touch. Her mounting inner concern (mercifully concealed from Tim) at just how naturally and convincingly her only male heir appears and acts the maiden role is among the best writing I've ever seen on this (or any other) site.

If I had to offer any constructive criticism. it would be this: THIS STORY NEEDS A SEQUEL. MANY, MANY SEQUELS. MAYBE EVEN SOME PREQUELS, WHILE WE'RE AT IT!

Besides exploring in more depth why Tim has submissive tendencies (let's face it - he does, though even now I hear the brickbat rebuttals being readied for ballistic trajectory), you could also flesh out Mary Lou Bogart. As of now, due to space limitations, she's little more than a cardboard-cutout bully straight from central casting. Does Mary Lou want Tim as her 'girlfriend' to date (in contrast to Penny, who would apparently prefer Tim to be her own non-dating gal-pal)? WHY does Mary Lou act the way she does? Does she have any feelings for Tim (or, for that matter, any non-narcissistic feelings whatsoever?)

Tim's older sister Lucy's "on-screen time" was also short, but her character is even more intriguing than Mary Lou's. Lucy seems to be the most sane character in the cast (including Tim).

I could go on with even more unsolicited suggestions, but I won't. Let me close with the personal observation that this story punched all the right buttons for me.

Overall, 1971 was a somewhat progressive time, though not in the very conservative north central Texas community where I then attended junior high. Just before the school year began, our local school board had just changed the grooming code to allow boys to wear whatever length of hair we wanted as long as we kept it well-groomed. Most parents (including mine) were rather traditional (and that's putting it diplomatically) and made sure their sons still had our twice-monthly short haircuts, regardless of what those 'Chinese Commie hippie-freaks' (I paraphrase, though not by much) in school administration said.

In early November, we had an eighth-grade boy, his seventh-grade sister and his mom move into our community from San Francisco. She was a single mom, which at that time (and particularly at that isolated rural location) was a rarity.

He and his sister's light-brown, very-curly hair tumbled down well past their shoulder blades almost to the small of their back. His name was Brandon, which immediately earned the poor guy the nickname of "Brandi" (thanks not just to his hair but also to the hit single by the band 'Looking Glass' that year).

Of the seventeen guys in our grade, I was the only one who didn't make fun of him to his face; the girls were much nicer. Not that I was some fearless humanitarian; I still snickered about him behind his back to keep my "street cred", as it were, with the other guys. Also, a girl I was seriously crushing on at the time became good friends with Brandon, and I wanted her to think of me as a nice guy (although, as incredibly ashamed as I am to admit it almost four decades on, I was in reality just another weasly, mealy-mouthed two-faced turd).

Anyway, my girlfriend soon gained Brandon's trust and he confided in her, which she then passed on to me (after swearing me to secrecy - you know how that early adolescent crapola goes). Brandon told her that ss soon as his family had moved down, he took one look at the prevailing cultural landscape in the new environment, figured out what was in store for him if he didn't adapt, and begged his mom for a visit to the barbershop to get a short cut more in keeping with the rest of his new peers. And while he was getting his hair cut, could he please trim his nails way down too? She didn't just say no, she said hell no, to the accompanying giggles from his sister.

Also, apparently Brandon's duties included doing the entire household's laundry, including ironing, which, again, was not the norm at that time and place for an eighth-grade boy! Like a number of households in our community, they didn't have a dryer, so poor Brandon would catch crap whenever he'd be putting out or taking down laundry from their clothesline.

On Sunday evenings their mother required that he and his sister do each other's weekly roller set(since that was apparently easier than each child doing their own), though they did take care of their own individual emery-board filing and nail buffing. His flawless, cuticle-free fingernails went right up to the very edge of his fingertips and, though not polished, were kept better than almost all the girls did theirs. That garnered him even more teasing, as did his colorful collection of dashikis (which I secretly thought were cool, though he shouldn't have had to have been the only boy in that bigoted, close-minded, closeted community to have to don them).

As far as I knew, that was the extent of it. No makeup, cross-dressing, or Pamela-ish "maidenhood". Just non-traditional chores, hair and nails with a distinct metro-sexual flair, and odd African garments in perhaps the least multicultural community that ever existed. But it's still gotta be tough when you're the only fourteen year old in town with these peculiar distinguishing characteristics. Particularly when it's your mom and sister compelling you to not fit in.

One final note: I knew Brandon had a major-league crush on my girlfriend, and while she thought it was "sweet" and knew that I did not feel at all threatened by it, she made it clear (without being mean) to Brandon that I (and not him) would be the one escorting her to dances, movies, school functions, and the like. He had a touch of whiny immaturity, and kept pleading with her even after she'd said "no" numerous times. Finally, my girlfriend had a talk with Brandon's sister, who gave her a very specific idea (which she wouldn't share with me in advance, but which I'd get to see for myself soon enough).

We were on a field trip to Dallas to see some Shakespeare play and fine arts museum and were eating our sack lunches in the park. Finally fed up with his repeated requests, my girlfriend just got up from her seat, walked behind him, and started braiding his hair!! When he started squirming and whining, "No-o-o-o, s-stop", she told him sharply to "Sit still and shut up!" as she continued. Much to my surprise (and secret delight), he did just that, though his kindergartenish pout (with the lower lip sticking way out) was truly a sight to behold. I couldn't believe he didn't just walk off or push her hands away; it was as though she held some kind of authority over him.

When he started sniffling and tearing up (which didn't take long), she finally took pity on him by using her nimble fingers to undo what she'd started. She then sat close beside him, turned his chin toward her, looked straight into his teary red face and told him gently but firmly that if he ever asked her out again (on a boyfriend/girlfriend type date, not a platonic "hey let's grab an ice-cream soda 'date' "), she would not only finish the braid but add some ribbons, bows, and little tinkling bells for good measure! Neither her facial expression, verbal tone, nor body language indicated she was kidding.

He nodded in assent, and she rewarded him with a quick peck on the cheek, then handed him her hairbrush and her lace hanky (remember those?) from her purse.

In the same soft but brook-no-opposition voice (the proverbial iron fist in the velvet glove), she said, "You're a mess, Brandon. Rejoin us after you've tidied yourself up", as she came back over to sit with me. After Brandon wiped his face, brushed out his hair, and finally recovered enough to turn around to face us, she gave me a lingering, sensual kiss on the lips before finishing her lunch. I rather enjoyed that particular method of letting him know just what the score was and where he sat in the pecking order. And so it was from that day on. With me, she'd usually ask, but with Brandon, she TOLD.

As delightful as her kiss was, I was more stirred by what I had just witnessed, for reasons I still don't fully understand. I was secretly hoping that one day he'd forget and ask her out on a date so I could see him in ribbons, bows, and braids. Unfortunately, he didn't forget (not that I'm sure she would have humiliated him to that extent - though with that chick, almost anything was possible!)

So in a limited sense, that day I was a little like Greg, and he like Tim.


Comment by Jezzi Belle Stewart on 04/26/09
This is one of those stories that is so well written that readers keep coming back to it, even years later, even though it makes them mad. Like most, my anger is that 98% of the story is great - an uplifting story about a real boy who sacrifices himself for the good of the group - but is spoiled by the last 2%.

RE: Pamela's comment of 09/13/02

From the end of the story at the curtain call:

"Tim knew he would never forget the cheers that greeted he, Penny, Greg and Mary Lou as they stood stage center. Penny and he in their pink dresses curtsied several times while Greg and Mary Lou bowed. HE CAUGHT A GLIMPSE OF HIS MOM AND DAD CLAPPING. HIS DAD EVEN LOOKED LIKE HE WAS CHEERING." (my capitalization)

From Pamela's 09/13/02 comment:

"Clearly he knows full well that his parents would
never give him permission to dress up with the girls."

Oh ???

So from an uplifting story, the final messages are: Crime (bullying) DOES pay. Nice guys DO finish last. And that No good deed goes unpunished. Welcome to real life, I guess.



Comment by Tring to understand on 04/03/09
Thank you Pamela! I was truly disturbed with parts of "Girls Only Club" and expressed same. However, this story is a 180 degree turn around. I could not find one thing that was not sweet and sentimental with this story. This proves the point when I said you certainl have a talent for writing and this story proves it. Even the strictest "straight" group out there in the world could condemn this story with justification. If I were to rate this story, I would give it an A++. Thanks again for writing it. By the way, I am a straight, gospel preacher and I am trying to understand all individuals from a loving ministerial side of things. I want to learn why people are the way they are...straight or otherwise. With loving kindness, I do use the Holy Scriptures for my guide, however, I seek to serve as Christ would without pre-judging. However, the scriptures are the final authority. I hope this does not offend anyone as I do not wish to do that. I thought you might like to know that a gospel preacher can enjoy your writing if they are as sweet and sentimental as this story. I will share this story with my friends as I have with others.

Comment by Sephrena Miller on 08/30/06
Seems every poster here has already echoed how I feel about this story. It was moving along great until the end, It had such great potential. The author decided to make this a dark tale and keep cruelty in even to the end. As such, I will not praise it at all for its overall effect. Its style as far as story flow is superb. The overall cruelty and darkness to the story detracted from the reader's ability to appreciate Tim and immerse to feel the story around him. Made it shallower in feel and less real.

*sigh*

Sephrena Miller


Comment by Mama's Boy on 07/14/06
I think Tim's teacher (Miss Gilliam) should devise a brief but intricate solo dance number for Tim to perform as an additional part of their upcoming class performance at the Six Flags entertainment pavillion at summers end. Of course, this could reqire many intense weeks of specialized daily ballet, jazz, and modern dance instruction while his hair and fingernails grow out. He'd have to trade in his baseball pants, jersey and cleats for a leotard, tights, and slippers.

Based on the story so far, this isn't that farfetched. If Miss Gilliam and the rest of the class (Penny in particular) put on the full court press, Tim would do it.

Comment by Jill Micayla on 08/11/05
Wow, from hero to zero. Un-appreciated by his classmates for his own personal sacrifices. The girl he is sweet on, sees him in the end as just a girlfriend. She is so shallow her name should be Hal. The school backs down because a girl wants what she wants. We fear retribution from paretns when their children do not get what they want.  The original concept was all girls involved as maidens.  Mary Lou needed to be brought down a few notches. Tim is the scapegoat, the teachers see him as a girl, his friends want him to remain as a maiden.  His own personal experiences as he prepared to be a maiden were ignored by those he once shared with.
His sister was one of the few that did nto go with the system.  I think that the feelings of Tims could have been shared.  An insight to how he felt. He has always liked Peny and was hoping to be her partner but ended up sharing creating a petticoat and dress for each of them to wear. She is not a humnitarian but uses others.  She sold him the goods of friendship an dhe thought he could take it further only to be trashed in the end.  The worse hurt of all is having a supposed friend see you as just another female.
The needs of the many were met by the one and yet the Hero ended up a zero. A boy thrust into a female role because anotehr student wanted to be what she wanted.  Mary Lou needed a good butt kicking from a lot of different people, but she did not get it she got kow towed to instead.
Tim's mom was one of the protagonist, encouraging him to show his feminine self as wellas his two teacher.  Tims role had to becoem confusing, both mom and dad encouraging him and not asking why he was sacrificed because of Mary Lou.
It seems Mary Lou had control and she knew it. She got control from teh day she started school and retained her control.  I think Ms Gilliam could have been a bit more stern and stood her ground.
We need a chapter three to tighten up the loose ends.

Comment by fregen on 08/25/04
A very good story.  A very disturbing story.  I didn't leave a comment the first time I read this story.  Nor the second.  Or the third.  Judging from the comments of other readers I am not alone in my thoughts about this story.  I come back every so often to reread it and I am still angered by what I feel to be the injustice of it all.

Tim makes a sacrifice.  Perhaps the ultimate sacrifice for an adolescent boy:  His masculinity.  And at the end what has Tim learned?  Jezzi puts it best:  "No good deed goes unpunished."  Is he the hero?  The person who made the 6 Flags trip possible?

No.  He is disrespected by the boys.  As dating material the girls probably consider him radioactive.  Even his teachers can never consider him to be 'a boy' again.

I am angered by his parents who do not go below the surface to question how he is really thinking and put a stop the charade.  I am angered by the teacher who 'plays him like a fish' and uses her position of power to pressure him into doing something obviously hurtful to a young boy's self image.  I am angered that Mary Lou can get her way but Tim must submit.

Only his sister with her adamant opposition to this role seems to have the right of it.  And her mother chastises her for it!

Well, Pamela, if your intention was to excite a response from your readers you certainly succeeded!  But this story cries out for a sequel.  One where Tim does not wind up a doormat.

Comment by Jezzi Stewart on 11/16/03
I just re-read this story, and after a year I stand by my original comments. Bullyhing brats and clueless inconsiderates get rewarded as do teachers who put their own agenda ahead of the welfare of their students. (I particularly hated this, as I am a teacher.) The only one who loses in this story is Tim. No good deed goes unpunished.

Loved the beginning, loved the body, I just hate it when the bad guys win; I have real life for that. Still, the above is really just my personal preference; you are a very good writer and I would still like to see a part 3.


Comment by Mary on 04/05/03
It was a great story untell the end.

All though the story you have Tim being strong and willing to be one of the girls to help the class win the compatition. Yet at the end you turn him into a whimp.By what Penny says the girls now see Tim as one of them not as a boy. Poor Tim he gave his all,worked the hardest,sufered Humiliations and in the end lost all. Because he will alway be seen as one of the MAIDENS by his classmate for the rest of his life.

The sad thing is the one person who won the most was Mary Lou she got what she wanted by making everyone bend to her will.

Mary

Comment by Diane Sutton on 11/08/02
Fine story with an ending I did not expect. It's really nice to find something like this where you are not used to having our little boy/girl find his total dream come true. Yet have it end in such a way that the reader is not disapointed.

Diane

Comment by Angel on 09/13/02
The story was very well done. The ending was a let down. What happened? The interaction between Penny and Tim at the end was not what the story led to. From brave and considerate boy to sissy even considering wearing girls clothes again? For what? To be a girlfriend and not the desired boyfriend? NO! Tim would not have done that. Maybe add another chapter to work things out to stay in line with the rest of the story. He should be a hero not a whimpy siisy.
Angel

Comment by Pamela on 09/13/02
Dear Readers:

Evidently I expressed myself too subtly at the end. Tim is in
shock, he is reeling from Penny's suggestion. He says the first
thing that pops into his mind. Notice that even at this time
he is too nice a person to express his hurt and anger to Penny.
Clearly he knows full well that his parents would
never give him permission to dress up with the girls.  

Pamela

Comment by Penny on 09/12/02
Tim suffered a great deal of humiliation in order for his classmates to have a chance at going to Six Flags.  He clearly took insults from the boys in the class and, while not mentioned directly in the story, from the girls as well if indirectly.  For we all know that girls are just as bad as boys when it comes to hurting someone feelings.

But Tim endured it all.  Mainly because he was able to spend time with the girl that he liked, but also for the class so that they had a chance at winning and going to Six Flags.  We knew that in the end, Penny would turn him down.  For when Tim tried to talk to her of making a home run (no small feat in any baseball game) she wasn't interested in listening to him.  He wasn't really important to her.

I agree with Jezzi that I thought the ending was a little week.  Considering the feelings that Tim had throughout the story about dressing as a girl, I don't think he would continue to dress to be with a girl that flat out told him that she wasn't interested in him as a boyfriend.  Tim should have been a hero at the end of the story, but instead he turns into a weak knee sissy that is willing to be humiliated just to be with some nose-in-the-sky girl.

I like to think that Tim went on to become a first rate actor that received $15-20 million for staring roles.  And got the last laugh in the end.

Comment by Jezzi Belle Stewart on 09/12/02
I really liked the story all the way up to the last few paragraphs.  Penny turns out to be a bitch and Tim turns out to be a doormat???  Everyone of the ladies, including Penny, knows that Tim is not doing this because he's a sissy; Penny even knows he plays baseball and hits homeruns when he's not in a dress.  I could see her turning down the date because of Greg, but then to tell him she can never think of him as anything but a girlfriend.  How could she do that to him knowing he was not a sissy!? Even though she felt that way, did she have to tell him?    And TIM himself:  Making  him into a junior Vickie Tern boyfriend by accepting the offer to be just a girlfriend!!  I agree with Nora-Adrienne.  He just should have said something like "No, I won't be coming; your friends are right." and turn and walk away.  You took two very likable characters and in the last couple of paragraphs snatched defeat from the jaws of victory by making them into a bitch and a wimp.  

Comment by Jill M I on 09/11/02
Last night I read I Want What I Want by Geoff Brown.  This 1966 fictional biography of a transsexual who has no real options was extremely despressing.  I needed a nice break from the harshness of humanity.  This was it.  Thank you.

This was a very nice story.

The premise was very believable.  Having coached girl's basketball and soccer for the past six years I'm qualified to state that world is full of Mary Lous Bogarts = sour.  (And, not enough Cindy Lou Whos = sweet.)

Parents of today seem to judge their success as parents; not by how much they can help the child develop, but, by how they can satisfy each and every whim their child can imagine.  Many parents don't think they are being good parents unless they are actively criticizing the school, coaches, etc.

Your premise is sound.  You could flesh out the story with a wimpy Principal that wilts at the sight of parents (don't they all?) and an over-worked school board.

This story has great potential.  Your strengths might be in the area of detail and creating great characters.  You should consider going into more detail.  You could allow your characters more time on stage.  I Love Lucy... to coin a phrase.  She's the older sibling we've all had and wish we hadn't.  There might be a whole story in this character.

Your story also has tremendous conflict and tension.  Tim is a very nice boy surrounded by people with their own agenda.  His teachers have a streak of femdom in them. (Don't all female teachers have a streak of femdom?  His parents are very much into passive behavior.  The love of his life is too dopey to reciprocate.

At some point, Tim needs to derive something from this ordeal.

Love needs to conquer all.  

Good needs to triumph over evil.

The next chapter might include the announcement that the trip to the theme park is subject to them performing their dance ...at the theme park.  They could be required to wear their costumes for much of the day to add to the festivity of the occasion.  This could lead to a variety of things, all requiring Tim to stay in character.  (An invitation to take part in the annual celebration in Tampa Bay?)

Everyone seems to like Tim, except Mary Lou.  This story could be one of those rare stories where everyone works to keep the young man in dresses (for a variety of reasons) and he gets what he ultimately wants.  Perhaps at one point, he will decide dresses are okay... even when they aren't a costume.

Have the courage to make this into a saga on the level of Texas Gal.

You have the talent.

Much love to you for sharing this idea and story with us.  Your beauty and grace come through in your understanding of us all and your ability to put it into print.

Don't worry about the negatives.  People have different tastes and needs.  Allow your natural femininity to flow into your story as you have... and the rest will take care of itself.  Peoples opinions of you are worth little... they're subject to change like the weather.  Your character is what counts.  Your sweet character shines through your story.

Jill  

Comment by Sydney on 09/11/02
Lots of description nicely done. I look forward to part three - there will be one, I hope, to wrap up the loose ends.

You have set up that Tim's dressing may not end, he still throbs for an unrequited love. You have a parental conflict established - a very supportive mother and an oppositional father. You have a female bully to be dealt with. At this point, the story still feels incomplete.

I would suggest you make just a bit more room for his family. The glimpse of his older sister and a few hints of parental positions, other than the shopping trip, had potential to round out your character. That's not to say you change the focus away from the school/drama/girlfriend but simply flesh out the background a bit.

Given some of the PC running rampant in some schools today, your premise is not totally incredible. Xdress dramatics is not unknown, especially at higher levels. Again a slight peek at the tenor of the community environment might have added credibility.

A well written story that deserves to be extended.

Sydney

Comment by Nora-Adrienne on 09/11/02
While I found the story cute for the most part, I think I would have had a slightly differant ending.  When Penny tells Tim that she is going out with Greg but she would still see Tim as a girlfriend.  I would have Tim just sigh and tell her that the only reason he went thru all this mental trauma was to get closer to her and ask her for a date.  Then I would just have him lift his head up and walk quietly from her presense.

At least that would leave him with some sort of self respect.

Comment by Pervette on 09/11/02
A truly lovely story, with just the right bittersweet touch at the
end.  How gratifying, too, that the ladies all showed appreciation
and respect for what Tim was doing for them and didn't bully him or
put him down. Pleasant to know that the end isn't really the end--
that Tim is going to be in petticoats and dresses again.
.
--Pervy

Comment by Paula Jutras on 09/11/02
Part 2 of the story was even better than part one. I especially like the shopping trip and the way part 2 ended. Real sweet.

Comment by kris on 09/11/02
Loved the story.  Suspended disbelief is a core part of nearly all stories
in this sub-genera. You do it wonderfully.

Comment by a fan on 09/11/02
The story premise upon which the plot of pirates and maidens hangs is so silly that I couldn稚 get past the first few paragraphs.

Normally I just take this in stride but this time, I was actually stunned by the sheer audacity of the author to try and piece a story together on such an illogical and ill-conceived premise.  Lets face it no educational system in the world would condone the direct misguiding of a young man because of the complaints of a tomboys mother.  If the author has ever dealt with a child痴 education they would realize the silliness of this premise.

Look I know its fiction, but don't ask me to completely suspend logic, this goes beyond fantasy into pure whimsy!!


Comment by Paula Jutras on 09/10/02
well done, wonderful story.  Love the depth of the characters created and how they interact with each other.

Comment by Marina Twelve on 09/10/02
Well done so far. Nice imagery.  I wish I had thought of this story myself ;-) Let us not forget Tim's experience with having to wear makeup, thats always a good high point in these stories.  And it would be a nice change of pace if Tim goes back to being a boy at the end, although wiser for his experience. does he end up with Penny?  I am looking foreward to the next episode.  

M12

Comment by Marina Twelve on 09/10/02
Well done so far.  I am looking foreward to the next episode.  

M12

Comment by Sydney on 09/10/02
Very nicely done with a fine tease as to whether he winds up with Penny or Mary Lou.

Tour development of the teacher, her frustration and ambition, was well done, a nice addition.

Comment by Jezzi Belle Stewart on 09/10/02
I like the story, but I really wish you had not split it into two parts.  I also wish you'd given Tim long hair so there could have been a salon scene.  Tim's a good guy; I hope he gets Penny in the end and bratty Mary Lou falls flat on her face.



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