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Revenge in a Vat
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Comment by Silvia. on 02/07/10
Well done! I liked the story. Comment by dee on 09/30/07 good startand well written, but too rushed with many greatopprtunities Comment by Mr Man on 03/14/01 I've enjoyed your works in the past, but this one just wasn't up to your usual standards. Everything about it had a sort of rushed attitude and lacked description and detail. I hope you understand what I'm saying, its not that I don't like this story, its just that I know you are talented and capable of much more. Comment by Neo on 03/12/01 Sounds like a TG version of Melvin the toxic avenger! I like the premise but this story seems more rushed with fewer details than some of your other works. I'm very guilty of this myself but I still need to urge you to "stop and smell the roses". It'd be nice to get more physical descriptions (ie: what did the female gang member look like in detail?) also more mental descriptions would be nice. The guy went from male to Carmine to fighting crime (ok, revenge) in a couple of paragraphs. Again, it was still a cool story but I like some of your other work a little more. |
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