3d9UKg You made some decent points there. I looked on the internet for the subject and found most people will consent with your site.

wP4gIh Just came from google to your website have to say thanks.

y5H5KF Wow, great article.Thanks Again. Really Cool.

great story

Michael's mother should be arrested and hanged.
Ridiculous story.

Very bad story.

Neat story. Thanks

I like this story the becoming female and being at piece is a idea i'm i love with

a great story very fast paced it make you wonder what does go on in some of these summer camps in the states well done more to this story please

I don't know about the age of the writer. I read stuff written by young teens with characters and plot, and stuff by middle-aged people that were way worse than this story, that fulfils the minimum requirement of having been run through the spell-checker and of having paragraphs. Obviously, more details or a different narration would have made it better. It goes a bit fast for a two-week stay, and the way the conspiracy is unveiled is none too subtle. And this is a bit too violent to my taste, but then pleasing everyone with the content is quite impossible.

D711, please see these comments as encouragements; your Emerald Lake environment allows for shorter episodes that would certainly build up an OK story. My advice would also be to add a little humor into your villainesses' attitude, if they remain this evil.

Cheer up, and keep writing. It's fun to do, and you share for free, so no one's hurt! ;D

I enjoyed the begining when the main character was being physically forced.  I think if you didn't rush the ending it would be better.  Please write more!

what Oderus Urungus said

This story was, simply put, a rush job by an obviously inexperienced and extremely young (pre-teen, I'm guessing) writer. There was absolutely no character development present anywhere in the story and gaping holes in the progression of the plotline. Overall, it read like a cheesy comic book with random pages torn out of it.  Unlike a comic book, however, it was without any of the visualizations that *might* have helped the reader try to figure out whatever it was that the author was trying to say with this story.

You had a lot of different plot elements present here that had the potential to make this an interesting read, but instead you seemed to just drop them randomly into your story without any attempt to either connect them to the plot or even explain why they were included in the first place.

Try reading a novel or two before attempting to write your next story, and maybe you can gain some insight into the concepts of character & plot development. You've got to learn how to crawl before trying to run, Junior.