can you tell us where you will be continuing this story, it's an amazing piece.

Aside from punctuation, spelling, grammar, I thought the story line was well formed and easy to read/follow. I would suggest that you follow up on another site that allows for the addition/continuation of the story.

It's imperative that more ppoele make this exact point.

basically, the reason that I stopped writing was because you can longer summit stories on this storysite

Why you never finishes your stories?
This is bad for you as a writer!
Silvia.

I was captivated with this story from the moment I started it. It would be tragic if you don't finish the job. Even with your commit that it was too complicated i feel with the talent you have already shone that you could and sould finish it.
Thank You for a tasteful story, and best of writing to you.

Why did you stop writing it?
Was it getting complicated hmm :)
To many interested girls there?

Ah well, don't stop writing please.
I had a smile going from the beginning here.

cheers
Yoron.

YES  I agree wuth Vivien and everyone else - Please do carry on with this reallay good story.  More More More please.

Briar

I sure do hope that you do intend to finish this wonderful story!?  the acceptance that this girl has recieved is amazing!  The story is simply wonderful!  The love and comraderie is tremendous and the love is beyond words for teenagers!  The whole story is great and yet it is unfinished. Please do finish this wonderful story all right?

                     Vivien

I've just  read your  story  please please  tell me that you  have more in the pipework as I have loved what you  have written  so  far

Debra

Hey Ashley I get that your busy it takes a while to get things posted but please send in more for this story and I'll do Anything Story your leaving us to hang for this long is not always fun to us the readers of your well writen Stories!

I have read the whole story and i find that it is great the story unfolds well the grammer is very good its an interesting story so far with the twist regarding the kidnapping comming at the right timehow the story unfolds even more the doc involved its just great well done more please asap thankyou

 I  read some of the comments  and agree this is a good story that needs to  be extended for more adventures of amy ....4.5" is a good higth for a child with a imballance or medical problems ...not to worry about size but the content ....good story line and charters  love the way you did this without cuss words or wierd sex stuff these were not needed for a excelant writer....thank you
thank you      thank you   rone

Ashley,

Great story that you have laid down.  Now having read all parts I wait for the rest. As a matter of interest how long does it take to put something like this together. Keep up the excellent work.

in reponce to Jezzi's first question, I will try to clear up her confusion.  in regard to the other teachers thinking that amy is a real girl.  I had tried to convey the situation where as Andy was one of those teenagers that are pretty much invisible in where he was hardly noticed and thus wasn't missed when he left town.  as for the teachers that did remember him--the news from Sandy made much more sense.  remember that Sandy and her husband had a fifty dollar bet on what sex Andy was, as was the whole town of Rivervale.  
as for the other students, no one seemed to remember him.  If it hadn't been for the panties stunt, the cheerleaders would also have kept right on ignoring him.  as for the bullies putting 2 and 2 together, they were just plain embarrassed that they had been fooled by a girl pretending to be a boy.  also the bullies are scared half to death of being put back into dresses.  I hope that my explanation clears up at least some of the confusion my readers have had.

in responce to Jessi's question about rachel wiping for Amy, I mention that AMy had been glad that his/her mother had gotten her a new type of gaff that hidden his penis.  but there will be another reason that rachel couldn't tell.  as for her other question, thanks for bringing it to my attention

after part 8
   Since Rachel wiped for her, how come she doesn't know Amy's a boy?

After part 4
    I'm confused.    2) Sandy Jones is spreading the word that Andy has been a girl all along, just an extreme tomboy - ie. Amy and Andy are the same person  3) Why, then, do some people including some teachers, think Amy is an entirely new student and that Andy has been forced to leave town, particularly when Amy is living with Andy's mother?  Won't the three boys who are in forced drag put two and two together and realize that Andy must have ratted on them and take it out on Amy?

I love this story keep it up   You brought in intresting part in part 7.  I wonder if you have amy change her mind and go all out as a girl!

Hi Ashley
I'm glad that you have added some more exciting chapters to this story. It's been awhile but you've done an excellent job. I look forward to see what happens next.

Sincerely,
John (dooey52)

this story is great the emotions andyu is going through hjis acceptance by the girls after what he done this is a really great story this story if it carries on tin the way will be one of the best on the site it is truly amazing and facinating it is also well written and very well told i am very impressed with it please get thenext parts as soon as possible brilliant story more please

I normally wouldn't comment again, so soon on a story, but this one is so good (ch 05), I feel the need to comment in order to show interest.  You have such a good story going, I KNOW the interest is there and you already have more comments than some whole series get.  Yes, you have earned it. Please continue, as we are all waitng "on tenter hooks" for the next developments. Why is Amy doing better in class?  Is is because she doesn't have the fear of reprisal that Andy had if he excelled?  What are all the other cheerleaders (usually very cliquish) when they find Amy has a uniform and none of them was consulted? Is Andy prepared for the Doctor's conclusion from the tests?
Tune in next week, for the next exciting episode of "The Spencer Girls"  (I hope, I hope.)

  Way to go   nice clean fun   love the story  ....
I wish you a long and happy  new year ......
            Rone

Just love what you are doing with this story. You need some help with a bit of proofing and such. If you would like, I could help you out with that.

Love your style and the way you are developing it. A few touches here and there will make this a great story.

You go girl.

Huggles
Angel

PS. Jezzi is usually right about things. (Usually) Giggle, giggle.

Hi I just got done reading your new chapter and I had to re-read the whole thing cause its that good. I hope you continue to story and dont take to long writing the next chapter.

Sincerely,
John

The story is coming along very nicely.  I'm enjoying each part more and more.  Keep up the good work.

I agree with the "Male Lesbian" part, as I "feel" closer to females than males! I would like to see Andy keep all those male parts intact.
 The body and mind of a man, and the heart and soul of a woman.

Well Hello Ashley:

 This is a very good effort and it is intrinsically sweet and sentimental. I think there should be more concern on mom's part as to the true consequences for Andy. It always seems that the punishment is 1000 times greater than the crime.

   I really think it is evident that the benifits of being a girl are quickly piling up but what about a little more mental confusion, anxiety or just plain fear? Not of being discovered but of losing himself and/or not being sure of who he/she is.

   There would be more power as he becomes a she, in hearing the inner dialog more. Just how is this all being resolved. Maybe the realization of just how deep his empathy is for women. Being succesful at passing is not enough reason to become female.

 If you would like to I am extremely curious about what mom is thinking as well.

  I really do like this story and any way you finish it is fine, just my two cents worth.

Hugs,

Kristi

I just love this story!!! Andy is finding out that Amy is perhaps what she is supposed to be. And the friends she is making! The story is SOO lovely written! Please do continue! And as soon as You just can! (or I just die...)

Hi Ashley
I just got done reading all 4 chapters and the story is truelly amazing. I just found another writer that I like and hope to keep reading excellent storys from in the future. You are a tallented writer I look forward to more of the Spencer Girls.

Sincerely,
John

I've just finished part 03. This is a good job. No, it is better than good. You are fashioning a very nice tale and I am eager to see how you resolve it.  Thank you for your efforts.

In responce to Jezzi's suggestion, I have revised part one and changed Andy/Amy's height to 5'2".  I had to agree with her that 4'5" was too short for a fifteen year old.

After part 3

As a great fan of The Gilmore Girls, I must say I am greatly enjoying this story.  There are fewer first person / third person slips in this chapter; good for you!.  I still have trouble with the 4'5" height though; I just can't visualize her as 15; I keep seeing her as a cute 10 year old.

I love this story I can see a huge improvement on your grammar and keeping the story in one mind setting instead switch from first to third person repeatedly in some of your other stories.  your a talanet writer in the making.  Please finish this and some of your other stories.

I have just read part 2.  I enjoyed the story and found the grammer a little unorthodox, but perfectly adequate to make the story readable.  The spelling is pretty good.
The main thing that helped was the new paragraph each time somebody different speaks, although not all speech was contained within speech marks.  The thought in itallics worked particularly well - a modern day Shakespearian aside!
Keep going, you have some nice characters developing and I'll be very interested to see the next part of this story.
Hugs Annabel  

Ashley,

Good story and I look forward to future chapters.  

The grammer issues are valid.  You have a very good story that would be even better if you polished it a little.  If you are revising chapter one please adjust Amy's dress size.  She is a size 10 in chapter 1 (at 4' 5", 95 lbs I don't think so) and size 4 in chapter 2 (better but probably still large.)

Since the only "payment" you will get here is our gratitude keeping your day job probably *is* advisible. ;-)

fregen

When I started this story, I had never thought it would create so much interest.  I admit that I am not the best writer (I stick to my day job and I'm not giving it up.)  I've revised part one and continue to work on my grammer.  Thanks for the suggestions and I will keep them in mind as I develop as a better writer.

Hi Ashley,

A great story premise and seems to be getting interesting. But you defifnitely need a editor or proof reader.

Look forward to Part 3.

Love Karen.

Hello, Ms Steele!

I've read your (so far) two-parter Spencer Girls, and I've read the comments that interested readers have furnished. Those correspondents seem to be people who like the type of story that you produce (as do I). While there is some criticism of your work, I did not detect a truly negative comment or attitude among them all.

I sincerely hope you consider all the suggestions, because as your stories become more enjoyable, I will enjoy them even more -- as will numerous other of Crystal's viewers. Although you may be well-advanced on the third installment, it might really be a good idea to halt that part of the project for a time, while you go back and rewrite (rethink?) your first and second parts. -- Pain is an intimate part of the life of an artist (in this case, writer); revising toward a better result will do you credit and be a good example for others who are just starting out.

And don't forget to ask someone (through Crystal if need be) if they would act as a sounding board while you work to get your feet firmly on the ground. Andy/Amy is a nice person, and we're interested in learning how well he comes out in this part of his/her life.

Not bad, Ashley, but you do need to work on your grammar and punctuation.  It detracts from an otherwise enjoyable story.

The situation is nicely handled.  I sure wish I could have had a mom so understanding!  Please finish the story because it really is sweet.

Ashley,

First, proof before you post!

Second, I know you have friends here, so send them a copy of your work for feedback and further ideas on how your story might proceed.

Third, finish a story, any story, just finish it. One of the things I look at is the list of stories post5ed by the author and see if any are finished. If not, why should I start reading another when there is a good chance this one will not be finished either.

Fourth, get a hotmail address so you can get feedback and some deeper advice than many of us feel comfortable with leaving in a comments section.

Looking forward to seeing more and you becoming a better writer.

Huggles
Angel

Suggest size change to 5'3" -- small for male. Also -- suggestions: a little true "friendship" development between Amy and Linda (she's not too crazy abt jocks), maybe a friendship w/Nikki (She kinda likes the idea of a guy in a dress), and girls in semi-finals game, Amy goes missing, and they find they really need their mascot.
It does have a good start, but some places could use a little revising.

Great start, but please work on the grammar.  Please dont leave this one unfinished.

The Spencer Girls  is definitely the kind of story that needs "MORE"..
Look forward to Amy's adventures... Possibilities are fantastic...

Vince

Yes, four foot five inch is a little too small for a male!
 And being a manager on a GIRLs' team -- THIS IS A PUNISHMENT? Wow, I sure would like to change places with him, provided the girls were/are a halfway decent bunch.
I agree that some re-reading before posting could be an asset -- Initial caps in quotes, comma usage, etc.

A good start to what's looking to be a sweet, loving story; bravo!  However, you really should work on the grammar and proofread before posting.  I thought when you made him so short he was going to end up a little girl.  Very few high school girls or women are as short as 4'5".  I'd like to see his three so-called friends in school in skirts!

 A cute story to start with nice potential, but PLEASE,use some proper grammar! Stop going back and forth with past and present tenses. Also use some comma's and periods, they work wonders for run-on sentences. I know it's a bit late in the story, but, don't you think Andy/Amy should have been a little taller than 4'5". This height is more of an 8 year old, not a 15 year old girl. I'm sure you could correct that in any future stories that you would write. keep

A reasonably good start.  But PLEASE find an editor, or read things over more carefully, before you post.  With a young teenage narrator, I can accept things like run-on sentences and awkward paragraphs. But your inconsistent use of quotation marks and your switching from past tense to present and back make an awful lot of that middle section unclear to me -- I think there are story problems there but I can't be sure that I'm not just reading it wrong.

Still, I'd like to see further episodes and find out how things come out.

The start is well done.  Please just tell us your wonderful story with out "The end or maybe not," bit.  I find that controlling which I willnot deal with.  You are an excellent author and do not need to reduce yourself to a ploy used by hack's wanting to be begged to continue some mindless masturbatory dreck.  That said, please tell us the rest of the story, or just drop it here--Sharlee

Great first part. Cannot wait for the second part.
Keep up the good work.