Nice story, but where is the next part? You said "next week, that was 19 years ago! "Are you afraid to try to finish it? Did you die?

Great start but how about finishing the story.  I really liked what I have read so far.  Hope you finish it.  

Where is the next chapter ?

Sorry, nice premise, but stale execution. Spelling and grammar do count as does building up the setting and characters somewhat. Sure, in shock over losing his mom, a kid might sit through some stuff, but there would be tears and some major resistance.

Also, why post unfinished stories anyway. With the simple writing style of this you're sure to get to your pedestrian conclusion sooner rather than later.

Still, keep trying.

interesting story 3 read but still waiting for part 2

Nice start, was hopeing you would finish it to see where it goes.

still waiting for part 2 but a good story so far

i can not understand how stefan just let his aunt do this to him without any protest it could be a good story if it happened more forceble

hey girl forget all the other girls about proofreeding.. you wrote a good story and we all want to see more out of you ... please write some more and if nothing else give these other people something to do .. like criticise you ...  yes I perposly misspelled som of the words jus t to mess with the rest of you.....  way to go keep writting

nice story but where is the next part you promises?

Please continue this story as it is very interesting.

Please keep up the good work.  I just love being in a salon!
Many Hugs,
Nancy

Excellent work.  I love the smoking theme.  Please run with it.  Thanks for taking the time to write.

Steph, Ditto with most of the other girls. Good premise, but not easy to read, although I have picked up some tips from other comments for my own stories.  Good luck with the next one, I look forward to reading it soon.
Anna

I am rather put off by the appalling spelling and lack of proofreading.  Makes it seem the writer is only just at school.
Try harder for part 2.

A good start.  Feminized boys are always fun; I'm working on such
a story now.  But yes, spelling & punctuation need work.  They are
a sign of pride in your work & of respect for your readers.  You
should read Stephen King's book on writing & see how important
*he* thinks they are.  One minor point: it always amazes me the
way women who are feminizing males JUST HAPPEN to have a set of
breast forms lying about....

Pervy

I agree with the other comments and especially about lengthening the transformation process  and actually feeing and describing each change.I really enjoy smoking stories and where little boys are transformed into models of their aunts. I look forward to the next longer parts.

A good story premise but I have to agree with the other girls.  Lay off the coffee a bit when you write. The last thing a good TG story is supposed to make you feel is dizzy! (In a bad way, that is!) But I think we'd all like you to continue!  

Hang in there,

Rita

The story isn't too bad but it desperately needs proofreading. The premise is fair but it needs work and better descriptions.

Hey you have a good idea---and a good story premise.  The descriptions are decent, but It looks like you are in TOO BIG OF A HURRY.

 You also need a little bit more background material leading up to the transformation, and most importantly, PROLONG the transformation, while including the protagonist's thoughts and conversation with his aunt as the process continues.-----Each episode should have at least TWENTY pages---if you stretch THIS to twenty pages it will insure that the transformation scenes are long and detailed enough.

 I think your writing ability is FINE---I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors--perhaps a few typos.  YOUR only trouble is that you need to slow down the action and stretch it out.   My "Little barbara" story and the first part of my "The Witness" story shows how to stretch and "milk" a transformation for all it is worth.

M12    

 I like your story line and where you are going with it.  
 But you do need to use a proofreader.  Crystal has provided a list of volunteers to help in department.  All you have to do is contact one of them and ask for help.
  It is in the Author's Corner.

Sorry Stef but you will have to do better than this. Poor grammar, punctuation, word usage etc. Its got them all sadly. I suggest you get someone to proof read this before you go any further.