p5zdPM Wow! Thank you! I constantly wanted to write on my site something like that. Can I take a fragment of your post to my site?

Author needs an editor

Sorry, but I agree with all the others.  It is a great advantage when writing any story to be able to spell and keep in the same person and tense.    Good effort but FAIL.

I tried to read, the story jumped from first person to third person and back.  The read became difficult, the synopsis said to determine truth from fiction that was easy in the first sentences I  did manage to muddle through. If you were in a creative writing class, you would be doing a re-write. Spell check and grammar wold have been nice. Have someome proof read before you publish.

Please use a spell checker !! The poor spelling and structure ruined what could have been a great story

Me too I was tempted but when I got inside I could get it unwrapped.
sorry it needs to be looked at big time.

I thought this could have been a very good story.. You needed someone to proof it and correct the spelling. I also think that your sentance structure needs a bit of work.. Sorry.. but this one only gets a C-

This sounds like it might be a very good story, but...
I was unable to get into it enough to find out.

This story needs a lot of proofreading for spelling, word usage, paragraph sizing, and punctuation. I am one of those readers who get stuck up in this type of detail to the extent that I cannot enjoy or even bother to read it when so much is required.

Sorry

Zip