Excelent start I can see alot of fun things you can do  II hope to read more

What a pity this story is plagued by bad spelling and punctuation.  Surprisingly even the previous comments suffer from the same disease.  

Enjoyed reading your story but would like very much to read the concludion of this story sometime.

i stand by my previous comments more please

this story is a classic set up by the girl in cahoots with the head counciler great story well written look forewards to reading the nex parts

It is very good, I liked it alot, but am just looking for more of it. I will be egearly awateing the continuation of it

very good start sakura...now enquiring minds want to know...does he tell his mom and start his journey into womanhood in earnest...or does he get caught with consequences again by his mother??? Whichever way it goes she must be the girl fate has decreed she be.

Barbara Lynn Terry

this is a good start to a wonderful story. checking the spelling might help but otherwise it's a good story. my spelling isn't so hot either. that's why i haven't wrote a story myself.

your storie is fine just the way it is .
please add more chapters to it .

Sakura,

Don't be put off by the critics. They mean well, but have hearts like slugs. They also tend to try and write your story the way they would like it to read. LOL...

I do recomend you submit your story to a site that actually helps the writer. The Big Closet will actually do a little editing for you if you ask Erin politely. These archive sites post 'as is' more times than not.

Beware, the critics will be all over this one! Reminds me of my first posting! LOL...

Here is a link to the Big Closet.

http://bigcloset.ateros.com/newstuff/index.php

Join the site and look around. Send Erin/Joyce an e-mail and attach your story. She will make suggestions and actually give your title some color and a dressy font.

Good luck and each story you write you will get better and better.
Huggles
Angel

Dear Sakura!

Slow down your production speed. You can improve the reception of this story if it reads smoother and makes sense. Everyone make mistakes, but a little proofreading can catch most of them: "summer camp yup boring" (This computes, but it still leaves questions.), stuck in an (a)isle seat between two people? (I'm still trying to visualize that.).

Spelling and punctuation DO make a difference. They make for easier comprehension. The only meanings that come to mind for "pasted" are in talking about something you just glued to the wall -- or if you hit someone in the face. Be aware of the spelling as best you can. Your word "councilor" set off every alarm I own, so I hit my dictionary, since this word has never been easy for me either: counsellor or counselor.

Our intrepid protagonist may be in love with Amy, but I could use an interesting description of fair maiden to stimulate my interest.

Since when do girls take their swimsuits from the cabin down to the beach to put them on? ------ It doesn't ring true to me either, that our young man caved in so quickly to the counsellor's notion that he must dress as a girl. Earlier, he has been shown to be savvy about his mom and her boy friend, has been seen to be capable of independent action; so why's he suddenly turned into such a wimp? And why were the local idiots making so much fun of him and why did the camp counsellors permit it?

Nonetheless, I'll be interested in seeing where you take this.

     leah

good story, Keep it going

a surprisingly good story. The pace was great and interesting method to start off on the ride home from camp and go into flashback.