FIRST READ THIS STORY IN A TV MAGAZINE IN THE U.K IN 2009 REALLY LIKED IT THANK YOU FOR SHARING THESE STORIES

as per my previous comments

a classic example of bieng forced to do things that you are not wanting to do what a way to set a trap brilliant writing and iwould like to read more but a bit more harsher try to introduce some bondage but again what a great story  well done

A LOVELY EXAMPLE OF FORCED SEX CHANGE. YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST ENJOYABLE STORY TELLERS AROUND..YOU MAKE MY EROTIC DREAMS REALITY. PLEASE CONTINUE TO MAKE MY FANTASIES EXCITING.

Great story. I wish you would continue with much much more.
Thank you and please consider continuing this great story line.

Couldnt see any  guy after he had already seen a blackmailers tape doing what he was told to do especially by a teenager Id have told her to fxxx xxf and packed her off to school in alaska

I've been following you for a while... you seem to have one story every time StorySite updates, so it's not too hard... and I've noticed a trend of yours.  You give the female character (don't want to label protagonist or antagonist, because it does change) far too much exposition at the begining for a 3rd person narrative.  It leaves an impression that the narrator sympathizes with her, de facto, when most of the time that character is a real bitch.  

This story in particular, I read the first two sections and wanted to review the story already, but I waited and read the whole thing.  There really wasn't much you added to redeem yourself.  As someone else noted, a high-power executive of a major firm A) is going to weigh the risks better, and B) realize, or at least know enough to bluff the fact, that the tape is of absolutely no use in court.  Even if the tape does look realistic, the fact that he's dealing with a high-school student leads to him being able to talk down to her, and tell her she has nothing of value.  

Even moreso, this isn't an original concept.  I've seen the whole "set up a secret camera so it looks like he's doing something wrong, then blackmail" thing done, and done much better.  Possibly from one of your stories.  The other instance even had the "backup copy on a friend's computer" aspect, but again, explained better as opposed to just thrown in.

This would have made a much better story if you'd added some kind of paranormal aspect, and either written it in Kylie's 1st person perspective, or ditched a lot of her exposition in the begining.  The paranormal would have been able to explain away the reality bending, and effectively suspend our disbelief a little longer.  Maybe Kylie's anger was sensed by a demon, who infused her with limited control over the mind of a person she chose, which explains why Tom was so passive.  Maybe she used the framing thing as a ruse to distract him long enough so she could perform a spell from this old book she'd found, changing him physically and weirding him out enough he'd bend to her demands.  Maybe Olivia was a witch the whole time, and planned to take over Tom's place since she met him.

But again, your main problem was character exposition.  Far too much on Kylie's part, and not nearly enough on Tom's or Olivia's parts.

Excellent! I just love it that Tom's stepdaughter had taken charge of his so-called powerful life. The use of the security camera in her room to force him into obeying her was very good. His interacting with Kylie's friends on-line made it so much better. Getting him to take the birth control pills to show him the way into womanhood was also very good.

Maybe, since he is just starting out into womanhood, his new mom and sister could make him dress as a little girl, with all the teaching he will need to attain womanhood. A cute little girls room, all feminine and frilly in pink, would be a wonderful addition to any future stories ( just a suggestion).As he gets older BOYS could be introduced. And finally, a position in his firm, maybe as a secretary for his/her mom, or maybe in the typing pool.

I hope there will be more stories to follow.

When Gwen gets older she'd probably be a great secretary for mommy at work.

You have created a stimulating premise. Stepfather embarrasses his stepdaughter, doesn’t understand her pain, angry daughter makes him feel her pain first hand.

It is entirely possible that your story did happen in real life. There are people like the protagonist,but who wants to read about them?

Fiction isn’t reality, it’s better.

What we want in fiction is CONFLICT. A wet noodle like you created isn’t capable of putting up enough resistance to generate conflict. You have the opportunity with this story to write good fiction.

People don’t want to think that life is random. They want things to happen in a believable way. Your premise is; the hero gets caught in a temporarily embarrassing situation and solves his problem by agreeing to a permanently embarrassing situation. The reader has to yawn and ask why.

If you want to advance as a writer, try rewriting this story with your main character being true to his nature. He is a top businessman; he would have failed miserably if he was incapable of assessing risk as you have told it.

Your main story has to act, to move – you need at least two strong characters to battle each other.

I would suggest that your main character could be established as a man who realizes he lacks in empathy toward females. Perhaps you could show us this in the beginning through an employee related practices suit at work, his relationship with his wife, and then finally walking in on his daughter in her bra and panties and not realizing why she is totally humiliated. It might work best to show how he had humiliated her several times without any realization.

He could then plausibly agree to work toward a goal of female empathy. Do you recall the movie in which Mel Gibson tried makeup and pantyhose? It was plausible even to a mainstream audience because he was determined to understand the female perspective. It would be fine to have a degree of force involved through threatened blackmail, but he should resist at every turn.

Always show and avoid telling.

Resist the urge to explain your characters’ feelings to the reader. You are merely getting in the way

Above all, keep writing as you have real ability.

Jill (Angela Rasch)  

I was really feeling sorry for Tom.  I suspect you put in the last minute info about his affair for that very reason.