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Two Days in Heaven
by Marco

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Comment by juliej on 10/06/06
again this is a great story of much affection and getting what he wanted what a way to go well worthit but again is a bit short thankyou

Comment by Marco. on 09/06/06
Why Thank you annabel, I shall take your advice, I have been told about my paragraphs before, but I write as in a stream of conscious thoughts sometimes, Just so it seems to be absorbed by the reader slightly better..but conditioning in english seems to allways get the better of me.. Tiffany@allmighty.fsnet.co.uk  

Comment by Annabel on 07/28/04
Hi Marco - Thank you for an excellent story.  I really enjoyed the twist at the end.  It was definitely an unusual break from a well-worn theme.
One piece of constructive criticism - use a new paragraph each time somebody speaks.  It makes it much easier for the reader to work out who is speaking.
Keep writing.  You do it well.

Hugs, Annabel



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