F5c1Cx Once you begin your website, write articles

Q6Py1y It as hard to find educated people in this particular topic, but you seem like you know what you are talking about! Thanks

Just a great story ! Still it surprised me it was a clear plain story with a dash of gender bending. Very clever and enjoyable ! Thanks much !

qiLWyg Thanks again for the post. Really Great.

NL5lmP Really appreciate you sharing this post.Really looking forward to read more. Want more.

jpqpl5 Wow, great article post.Thanks Again. Will read on...

Just fininhed reading your story about the couple in virtual reality. By xyzzyx
Because we enjoy doing the transgender thing. We loved this type of writing. It is a wonderful story.
As we read comments by others and your reply to them, we can understand your problem. As some times writers ourselves, yes we write together, we get carried away and also let the characters take over the stories.
You have certainly given us ideas for a forthcoming story. The virtual realities can fit in anywhere.
We hope to read more of your stories soon.
J&J

Great story, flow was good, only one question, what happened to the baby?  I think we have a single parent, here.  More on that in part two?  (Guess I was hoping to know what she felt when her milk came in.)  

I loved your story, I agree when you are writing about one persons perspective, it was confusing. You should put down who is writing them if you insist on changing from Chri's perspective to Rikki's. Sort of like a paragraph header. Example

Chris:
yada uada uada

Rikki:
yada yada yada

This would help the story flow.

The ending was confusing. Plus was Christine really being vindictive to Rikki at the end? I mean she took pity on him as he did for her. She does not come accross being vengful towards Richard. Yet the ending appears to be vengful by not only making him his fantasy woman but trapping him into her. Why would Rikki burn the ticket? they where having fun? It was a confusing issue. I agree they should of just been each other but under mutual agreement. Christine wanted Richard to know what a woman goes through at work being a woman and she convinces him to do it. He agrees to live her life for that day that led up to the vacation, to allow Richard to see what a woman goes through at work and why she was pissed, this was to educate Richard to how it is. Richard agrees and finds out, and then the time runs out on the pass and it leaves them stuck as they were in the VR world. Christine appologizing for doing it to him. Not realising she stuck him this way, but then they fall in love with each other and get married and live happily ever after, as the new Christine/Richard gets to love her life and accepts it, she desides to fight to change the company, maybe filing harrasment suits and wins the ownership of the company or something, with the help of the new Richard/Christine.

Just a thought.

It is a great story, Could you get me one of those passes, SMILING!

Fantastic story, i love it, will be be any more like in done in the future....

A tip: please do not switch between first and third person in a story. Personally, I think your best option is using third. If you insist on using first person, do not switch the character that is supposed to represent the "I". If you review your story, you'll see what I mean.

I loved the story. I hope we'll see more in this setting. I figured from the first that it wasn't really VR, but was evil (I caught the 999) magic meant to appear as VR so they'd fall into the trap. The only thing I didn't follow was why the guests would have control over the vacation? I liked the way it played out, but it seemed like an odd idea when it first came up.

Oh, one thing I really loved was the changes that occured during the sex scenes. That's a really nice touch, and the scenes were very tastefully written as well.

I appreciate everyone's comments.

This was my very first story attempt. I make no pretense at being a writer, but I enjoyed writing it and hope you found it entertaining.

Writing it was an interesting experience for me. My original intent was to write a much shorter story, but the characters seemed to have other ideas. I always thought that the author of a story was in complete control. Perhaps a more formalized approach to writing is required, but I never quite knew where the story was going from one brief writing session to another. Writing it was very much like reading it, albeit a good deal slower.

As the story grew and my available writing time shrank, I definitely forced the story termination rather abruptly.

A few partial answers:

Yes the watermark was read upside down.

Yes, they returned to the real world, but one that was altered to fit their final configurations. That's inconsistent with a science fiction theme but the watermark was intended to allude to other powers.

Why did Rikki burn the coupon? I don't really know for sure. This was another instance of the characters taking over. You'll have to ask her.

I was also confused with the ending if they return to the real world in the virtual bodies or not.

Well done story, many nice touches. The ending is unclear. I think it would have been better for Christine to visualize Nikki as her & Her as him that way they would fir perfectly into the situation she  wanted. That way the whole world would not have to change - there would be ready made identites. But I did enjoy the story. The pregancy and deliervy was especially funny!

I had some concern on how I'd like it when I saw the rating but the summary was enough to have me read it and was pleasently surprise I enjoyed it.

A nice romantic story that could have been a lot darker as he was at her mercy.  I thought the ending was a bit unclear.  Did Chris visualize the new invitation, or was it the old invitation with the amount of time remaining counting down?  Why on earth would Rikki burn it?  I take it the burning left them back in reality but in their last virtual incarnations?  Was the 999 on the invitation really 666 upside down?