a great read next will be better i imagine

I really enjoyed the story even as it was, I am looking so forward to the continuation of it. Thanks for the good story.

Great story but have you ever fucking heard of the "enter" key? It's right above your right-hand "shift" key. I hope you can at least find it and make this story less of a wall of text.

ditto

as per previous comments

Opened this, lack of formatting made my head explode....thanks, now I have no head >.<;;

this was an intersting story wicked at the begining but aceptance at the end well worth continuing if the grammer is improved and the story played out a bit i could turn into a great serial

Maybe if this was writtin in pig latin we could understand it better

There are reasons that there are rules about making paragraphs, etc.  They make reading that much easier.  This story is unreadable in its present format.  I look forward to seeing more from this author in a more reader-friendly format.

This story really needs to be formatted better. Its very hard to read something that is one big block of text. Try breaking it up into paragraphs, and splitting out the spoken sections.

Waaaay two meny typeos.

'Nuf said.

I really wanted to like this story, but I just couldn't get over the broken English.  I apologize.