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ZIcyez Really informative article post.

i like to more chapters on alira after he fines out his bedroom is now that his bedroom is for female please add more to crystalsite      ienjoyed this book but it was to short

i liked it.
A little uneven but ok.

Cheers
Yoron.

It is hard to believe this is a first effort.  You declare well, state the action and explain the consequences.  I really enjoyed the whole concept. This story has promise for a lot of entertaining follow ups.

 Your story could be improved though the use of a proofreader or editor.  Improper use of words like throught in lieu of throughout or Homes vs. Holmes and several others, interrupts a fine story line.

 You seemed to have struggled to have placed all of the concepts of the story explained in a hurry; but, over all the  presentation was fantastic. Didn't mother and sister notice the silver hair?  While the body of William is gone, the mind is obviously still present.  

Please keep up the good work, and thank you for sharing this effort with us.

Thank you for quite an excellent story. You have grasped the subject so well. I'll look forward to a continuation.
Ciao,
Lynn

<<  I was going to change the ending but I decided to add a couple of twists instead >>

Good story, but i think you should have followed your thought and changed the ending.  His happy acceptance of the "surprise" his mom and sis intended with the feminized room seemed totally out of character unless HE was, as others have stated, destroyed and replaced with Alira.  And what about Mom and sis changing his room without his knowledge or consent?  Seems rather more clueless and/or cruel than loving.  Did they really think he'd like it?

What happened to Joe, Toady, and Eric? I sort of expected them to become girls.

Awesome! Powerful! Fantastic!  Triss, you write with a power and a passion!  I found myself racing through the story just to see what would come next.  This is some of the best TG fiction I have read in a long time.  Thank you!

Ok, I feel stupid. I have an obvious spelling error that I quoted. "Homes" should be "Holmes" like Sherlock Homles. Two biggest problems for my writing: Grammar and spelling. I am working on those constantly.

Enjoy

Thanks for the comments, people. I would have emailed you my response but you didn't leave an email. Guy, William isn't 'destroyed' as you would put it. I have mind of a sequel and I have the line "It set the Homes wannabe mind into circles" at the end for a reason. This sequel I won't be doing in parts since it will 'almost' be stand alone from the first story.

Thanks for the comment on my narration, Pippa. I will be using a very similar style for the sequel that I am writing. I have a completely third person, mostly objective point of view but it strays from being completely object since I have to get into the mind of William throughout the story.

Enjoy :)

It appears william is destroyed by the end of the story.  Only Alira is left.  A bit brutal.

Alira seems oriented toward good - but the absolute disappearance of William seems a bit evil.  It may have been better if the construct was troubled by what was happening, about the morality of its actions.....

This is pretty cool!  I like the basic "construct" of the story.  (Wink! Wink!)  I hope you continue, because it's definitely worth it.  If you were to ask for advice, I'd say that there is something odd about the narration, almost a throwback to the stilted style of 18th and 19th century biographies and novels.  It helps add a surreal touch.  It this is intentional, then don't change a thing.  Otherwise, you might experiment with more modern "dramatic" storytelling to add a bit of immediacy and realism.