The Major's hidden thoughts!
Added By: Peter 4/11/2003 - 21:02:59
Added To: Dressing (Peter)
Actually Major Winters did carry a secret. He had for some time been inured to transgender stories. He did not know why this was so. Perhaps it was because he had lived in active military service, in the rough and tumble of the army, and had for much of his life lived in an all-male world.
He had always found women enormously attractive but did not get around to marrying until he was quite old. When he did marry, he did not select his wife. It had been she who selected him and she was one of those women who made vociferous sexual demands at first and then without his realizing why, found fault in him, and her fault-finding became more and more shrill until he was emptied out of the marriage and cleaned of his financial resources, and with a head spinning at the shock of ‘not belonging’.
As a bachelor he had largely contained his desire for women, but once he had been married, he surrendered to the sensual and had not sufficiently unfurled his eroticism before his wife and life turned sour.
So dumped and lost, he found himself tortured by his attraction to all things female, their breasts, their bottoms and all parts north and south. Every time a woman crossed his track he would savor and he would feel bedraggled and forlorn.
At times he wondered if he was perverse, but decided the perversity was in his earlier repression, for which now he was paying a great price.
The Major did not know how to handle his desire for women. It was too strong to ignore and it was too scary to act out. His lame attempts to reach out to women had failed, and he thought they found him uninteresting. He could not bring himself to go to a bordello, for that would be a choosing the steamy side of life he dared not make. He was not by nature prudish here, but his self-image demanded that a sharing of respect be an essential element in human exchange.
His move from the army was traumatic, because it had been the strong constant thread around which his life was organized. So in one foul, foul swoop, he lost his self image, he lost his wife, he lost his savings, he lost the central organizing feature of his life and now he entered a work place that made unusual demands of him.
So he imagined what it would be like to have female parts, what it would be like to possess what he had found alluring. He liked to read stories about forced feminization as a way of treating his rampart needs
Now as Mrs. Tompkins stated her requirement, he decided to let go, and ‘let it all happen’ for he no longer had external voices in his live to which he must answer. Maybe, he thought, this will help me find my place?
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