(At this point, Alan is more like Eve, and the names will be used interchangeably as the situation appears to dictate.)

  

Alan's Penance

by Ann O'Nonymous

  

Chapter 5: Eve, and no apple

It was the next item in the parade that nearly freaked out Alan – a pair of pale blue satin almost-knee-length 'something' with eight (yes, he counted them!) rows of ruffles down each leg, and three rows of lace around the waist.

Nancy quickly grabbed Eve around the chest and pushed her back onto the bed, while Nikki pulled up the legs and slipped the item on him.

"It's okay, Nancy, I wasn't going to fight you – I just don't seem to have any fight left," Alan said in a rather sad fashion.

"Alan, this is NOT about fighting us," was Nancy's quick reply as she got him back up to a standing position, "these clothes and your submission to us is a part of your penance."

The next item was a white (gee, almost said virginal) petticoat-slip, with two skirts of lace edged nylon with an interlayer of net, all over a slip of satin hemmed with lace. Definitely not a guy thing!

Nancy gathered the slip together, and asked, "Eve sweetheart, raise your arms so Auntie Nan can put this lovely slip on you."

Doing so, Nancy put the item over his head; then, while pulling it down into position, she said, "Alan, I've a question for you!"

"Okay," he replied, thinking this would take his mind away from what was happening.

"There are two trees," Nancy said, "one is a big, tough tree with a strong trunk, stout branches and roots; the other is a slender, flexible tree, somewhat like a palm. A hurricane-force, 110 mph wind comes along, aimed directly at the trees." She now had the slip on him, and finished the story, "Now which of the two will, most likely, survive the storm?"

"That's easy," he replied, "the big, tough tree!"

Fussing with the lace-and-ruffle covered lad, Nancy answered back, "No! Think of the hurricane as 'adversity.' Now the flexible tree bends with the situation at hand – its strength is in yielding. The big tough tree is resisting the wind, and sooner or later it will be overcome. There, you look delightfully cute!"

Now that was something that never occurred to Alan (being delightfully cute, that is). "So, you're saying that my submission is really what?"

"Sometimes it's better not to be strong!" she replied with a knowing smile. "There are times when it is best to stop, assess your position, think about what you can, maybe even should, do, then do it – as expeditiously as possible."

"Expe-what?"

"E-x-p-e-d-i-t-i-o-u-s-l-y," she spelled, "It means 'prompt' or 'quick'."

"Oh, and just what is this I'm wearing," queried Alan as he fingered the soft satiny material.

"It's a petticoat-slip; similar to a full length slip, but the skirt has some extra layers added. When I was doing that musical, mom got the slip, and we attached the petticoats to give a bit more fullness to the adorable dress I wore. And I did not say 'lollypoop'."

Next "the" dress: Oh, how to describe that concoction of baby girl frills, ruffles, bows and laces. "It" was of white satin; had a covered button-up back with a snap at the top, short puff sleeves with frilly cuffs, two attached petticoats with ruffled hems; and collarless with a nylon net-covered, square-cut neck. The wide, attached sash was ready to be tied into a lovely bow.

"What's that wiggly stuff going around the edge," Alan asked.

"That wiggly stuff is called rickrack, and it's a hem, dear. Now arms up, and we'll get ums all pweddy for ums mommy," Nancy stated.

Obediently Alan raised his arms and allowed the soft, luxurious satiny dress to be fitted to his once-proud male body. When it was down and his arms safely through the sleeves, Nancy buttoned up the back, fastened the snap at the top, and fussed with the bow, meticulously tying it three or four times before she was satisfied.

"Umm, Nancy, ehh, couldn't I wear something in cotton?" Alan asked plaintively.

"Sorry, Charlie! You get immersed in complete femininity, and that means nothing plain," Nancy responded.

"Nancy, nail polish, remember?" Nikki said.

"Yeah, that's right. Let's see: Something in a little girl light pink – Coral Blush, Pink Panther or Powerpuff Pink . . . ?" Nancy mused, then decided, "Coral Blush should look nice – use that, and get a clear coat on, too."

Nancy led him to the bench in front of the vanity and demonstrated the way a girl sits. She then had him do it until she was satisfied.

"Ya know, Eve, I think you'll make quite a girl."

At the very thought, Alan blushed a deep crimson!

"Okay, now your crowning glory," Nancy announced, holding up a wig that appeared to be a mass of honey-blonde curls. (The wig reminded him of pictures of some little girl called Shirley Temple.)

While Nancy fitted the luxurious wig, Nikki worked clipping, filing and painting Eve's nails. Eve's head was on a swivel as she attempted to follow what they were doing to (for?) 'him.'

"How ya coming, Nikki?"

"Almost done!" was her rejoinder.

In five minutes, Nikki proudly announced, "Ta-da! Evie, dear sweetheart, we have liftoff! Umm, Nancy, we need a last name, too."

"Eve St. John," was Alan's rather quick reply. "Carl St. John was a good friend of my father some time ago."

"Wait, we need more of a history," Nikki remarked, "Where's she from, what does her father do, after all people will be curious."

"Well, Eve," Nancy replied.

"Hmm, daddy, his name's Eric, and mommy, her name's Anne, are looking for a new home. Daddy's a, err, an accountant and, . . . and mommy keeps house; no, she works on a computer at home. I'm an only child. Mrs. Winters? I'm visiting – she's an old friend of mommy," replied Eve. "How's that?"

"Sounds nice. Eve St. John kind of rolls off the tongue," Nancy thoughtfully replied as she dusted a smidgeon of blush on Alan's cheeks.

Meanwhile, Nikki added a single strand pearl necklace and a golden heart-locket, saying, "What ever happens, I want you to keep these to remember us with a little fondness."

Finally he was led over to a full-length mirror, so he could see the finished product.

The girls watched as the girl-boy turned one way, then the other; lifted skirts, then dropped them; tried a clumsy curtsey, almost falling down in the effort; and finally, carefully -- almost lovingly – run his fingers around the heart of the locket, apparently lost in thoughts of a future time. Now, to him it seemed to be a time not of time in a place not of place. For a while, that girl-boy just stood there, apparently hypnotized by the shimmering sheen of the satins, thrilled by lace, trapped in that one position by the softness of it all.

Suddenly that prisoner in petticoats spoke: "Nancy, I should feel shame, disgust and a whole lot of other things; I should be running as fast and as far away as I can, but . . . I don't. Why not? I feel good; no, more like great. I don't understand – this isn't me!"

Nancy decided to use his new feminine name: "Eve, that's where you're wrong – that is as much you as 'Alan,' and possibly more so. Many boys are born with a gentle softness inside that is ruthlessly weeded out as if it is some form of cancer! Their fathers want them to grow up to be men, so it's games like football, baseball, soccer and 'Don't cry; only babies, girls and sissies cry! Take it like a man,' they say. On the playground, you get kicked around and beat up, and why -- because you happen to like decent music, drawing, reading, or just sitting and talking to girls rather than throwing a ball at a hoop in some meaningless male 'right' of passage or even beating up someone smaller. Some boys become bullies or steal, in an effort to hide or even kill that loving softness. Crying, laughing, joy, and sorrow – these are all the things that make up life. Take away emotional responses and we're no better than animals. You were given a gift, Eve, live life."

Nikki added: "Wearing girlie apparel, you can cry, giggle, tell silly stories, keep a diary, try on lots and lots of frilly things, and do all sorts of crazy, wonderful things you can't do as a macho boy in dull, drab clothes, 'cause it's a girly thing. Girls taste Cherry Red lipstick, smell Chanel or Charlie wonderful – not all sweaty, get to feel nylons, satin panties, wear pretty pastel colors and such. You're happy because you're experiencing a lot of new things."

Nancy could tell from the look on Alan's face he was intrigued with the clothes, the ideas and maybe this won't be so bad after all.

 

Chapter 6: She's oh so fine

After a spritz of perfume from Nancy and a Raggedy Anne doll from Nikki, he was ready. Tucking the doll in the crook of his left arm, he took Nancy's offered hand and went down to show Eve St. John to the ladies!

Reaching the entrance to the room, Eve could hear someone saying, "I know he's a good boy, but there is room for improvement. With your schedule, could you ever take him to a classical music concert, a gallery opening, a ballet, Jan? He really needs some rounding out to bring out what's hidden."

(What Alan didn't hear was Mrs. Winters saying, "I didn't mean to frighten you with that jail talk, as I wanted to point Alan in the right direction, away from what I consider a very bad influence.")

At that point, Nikki entered the room where the ladies were sitting, politely coughed in an overly dramatic fashion, and rather proudly announced: "Mrs. O'Shea and Mrs. Winters, I have the honor to introduce Miss Eve St. John (at which point Eve, led in by Nancy, waddled over and, as previously instructed, curtsied to each lady as she was introduced). Eve, may I present you to Mrs. Catherine Winters, your hostess for your stay, and Mrs. Janice O'Shea, her guest for the day."

(Why is it when you expect something to go one way, it almost always goes in an entirely different direction!)

"Oh, aren't you just the cutest little girl! Come on over and sit on Auntie Cathy's lap. That's a g-o-o-o-o-d g-i-i-r-r-l-l."

With Nancy assisting, Eve was sitting across Cathy's lap in no time. Cathy's left arm went around the waist, the right over the legs, and Eve's head leaned against the chest. From out of the blue, a large pacifier (dummy) was placed in Eve's mouth – it was, strangely enough, rather pleasantly satisfying.

"Is that my Alan?" Janice said. "He looks so . . . so . . ., well, different. You didn't hurt him, did you?"

Nancy quickly replied, "No, of course not," with a hint of indignation in her voice – the "how dare you even think that" kind.

Cathy looked at the pretty little girl in her lap, squeezed her gently and said, "Those nasty ole girls bedder not hurt my sweet pwecious liddle snookums." She then took the dummy from Eve's mouth so she could answer.

"Mom, I'm okay!" Eve said. "I don't know what's planned for me, but I feel I need to go through this."

"It's mommy, Evie sweetie," Nancy admonished, "little girls say momma or mommy."

Nancy and Nikki went on to play show-and-tell with each article of clothing, almost down to the diapers. Nikki lifted the dress to show both ladies the frilly undies. Oddly, the girls seemed extremely proud of the 'Eve' that was their creation. As each article was exposed, there was a discussion.

"You know, my Alan could use some sewing lessons," Janice mused. "He's forever ripping seams in pockets and pants, and losing buttons."

Cathy smiled as she said, "That's included at no charge! Now you will stay for dinner, Jan? The girls are going to do spaghetti."

"Sure, thanks for having me – I really don't like to eat alone!"

That agreed upon, Nikki grabbed Eve's hand and said, "Let's take a tour of the house."

With Nancy joining them, Nikki assumed the role of tour guide. As they went through the house, Nikki said: "The house was built around 1893, for a George Wilson, his wife and his two children. He made most of his money in supplying alcoholic beverages, legally. There's a kitchen, dining room, library, home office for mom, a family room, powder room, and a downstairs records room – that one is private. Upstairs is a maid's room, mom's room, our rooms with an adjoining bath, and the guest room with a separate bath – Evie's room. The basement has air conditioning, heating and water filtering systems, a laundry/sewing room, and an emergency generator. Mom had that installed about two years ago after a storm left us without power for three days."

Well, one house is more or less like another, except this one had a pool – inside!

Opening a door, Nancy said, "Here is our pool. It has four doors – two to the house, one to the outside, and one to the garage. The ceiling is fifteen feet high, and of plastics. The pool is heated for winter, and goes from two feet to nine feet at its deepest. The diving board is at the deep end. Also, there are floodlights on the walls and on tracks above the pool, so we can swim at night."

"Wow," was Eve's only reply.

"Hey, nearly five thirty! We better get started on dinner," Nancy said.

Five thirty – where had the time gone. Seems like only an hour had passed since he came in via the window. Now, here he was in a diaper, dress, a pacifier in his mouth, and accepting it, Alan thought. Still, that big question remained: Why?

Nikki took Eve's hand, and they were off to the kitchen, where Nancy said: "Ever cook, sweetie?"

"Ummm, errrrr, no," Eve said after removing the dummy.

Nancy grinned like a Cheshire cat, grabbed a frilly-hemmed apron and put it on. "It's never too early to learn. Grab an apron dear, they're all girlish."

She was right in that respect. Nikki took one, then put a less frilly one on Eve.

A large pot, nearly filled with water, was put on to boil. Three pinches of salt were added, along with two tablespoons of vegetable oil.

"Okay, Eve, your job is to watch the pot. When the water is at a rapid boil, break the spaghetti in half and add it in. You'll need two boxes – I think that should be enough," instructed Nancy. "Oh, leave the lid off."

"Yes, ma'am," Eve said. As he broke up the spaghetti, he watched as Nancy started a tomato sauce going after adding a few spices, and Nikki grated cheeses (looked like three different ones to Alan). Nikki added butter, garlic, a little cooking sherry, and olive oil to a frying pan heating on the stove. Soon a delicious aroma was permeating the kitchen.

When the water was boiling, Eve added the spaghetti, then stated, "how long does this need to cook?"

Nikki scrunched up her pert nose in thought, and answered, "You'll have to try it. Remember to stir, so the strands don't clump together."

"Right."

Well, soon there was a pot of sauce simmering, a pot of spaghetti bubbling away, a pan with onions, coarsely chopped tomatoes and mushrooms, shrimp, garlic, red and green peppers cooking, and wine "breathing."

Looking around, Alan noted, "This seems to be so kind of ordered chaos, Nancy. How do you do it?"

"Umm, I think it's something that got ingrained, starting from when we were very little. From reading, it seems that most women can do several things at once. Part of their nature, I guess. Okay, about time to set the table, Eve."

With Nancy taking care of the cooking, Eve and Nikki set the table and poured the wine. Although both Eve and Nikki were under age, each place had a glass of wine. "Emmm, Nikki, is the wine okay? I mean . . ."

"Eve, I've been drinking wine with meals since I was 8 years old," said Nikki, her hands indignantly on her hips. "Good wines are meant to be sipped and appreciated, and certainly one glass won't put me under the table so you can have your way with me. Mom believes in training; that is, learn to control by doing. Kind of like learning to ride a bike, and knowing where and how to ride it, understand?"

"Need help here," Nancy called from the kitchen.

Back in the kitchen, Eve strained the spaghetti while Nikki placed the shrimp "stuff" in one bowl, and the grated cheese in another.

"Eve, run hot water and wash the spaghetti under it."

Curious, Eve asked, "Why?"

"Remove starchy stuff" was the reply.

Another question popped in, "No meatballs – at least one?"

Nikki replied, "We're nearly vegetarians. No pork, lamb, goat, beef, hamburgers; we eat chicken on a few occasions. Breakfast is cereal, or eggs, English Muffins, soy sausage and whatever either else. We do eat eggs, if you must know."

Nancy picked up an intercom, pressed three buttons in rapid succession, then said, "Dinner will be ready in three minutes, mom." Turning to Eve, she stated, "We have an intercom in each room, two by the pool, one in the garage, and one outside."

Using a tray and potholders, Eve placed the steaming dishes on the table, added serving ladles, then wondered where to sit.

Ms. Catherine entered the room and immediately took charge. "Eve, you'll sit on my left side, between the girls; Janice, you'll sit on the right. Please stand for a moment."

After they took their places, Cathy said, "Please hold hands – reach across the table, if necessary." When they were ready, Cathy said, "Most Gracious Lady, we thank you for what we are about to eat. We thank you for our new friends, for a nice, warm day, and our health and happiness. You are we as we are you. Blessed Be!"

"Blessed Be," the girls chorused.

Janice and Eve looked at each other in wonder. Could it be that these were members of some strange cult.

Cathy observed the looks, and said, "I'll explain over after-dinner coffee and mints."

. . - . . - - . - . - . - . - . . . - . . - - . - . - . - .

Later, over coffee, Janice said, "That was excellent! And my 'new daughter' actually helped prepare it?"

Nancy quickly said, "Yes, she did. With a little help, she could be a very good cook."

A giggling Nikki nudged Eve under the table, winked, and said, "She's going to make her spouse a very happy person!"

Cathy smiled at Jan's look of discomfort, then added, "I think Nikki has her eye on Eve!"

"Aw, mom – why do you have to tell," Nikki teased back.

"I promised to tell you about the meal's blessing," Cathy started, "and so I shall. About eight years ago, I had a friend in hospital with terminal illness. On the day I was able to visit, she hardly recognized me. I went home, and prayed to God, hoping she would survive this illness – I know it was a selfish act now, but I didn't want to lose her. Day after day it was the same thing. A female friend, a Pagan, suggested we pray to the Mother Goddess she called Gaia. We did, and I went to the hospital the next day – I really didn't know what to expect – but there was no improvement. At home, I got a very, very strong impression to open a certain book. I closed my eyes, opened it to a random page, put my finger on a line. The words were, 'She is resting with me, said the Lady.' Ten minutes later, the phone rings – it's the hospital telling me my friend passed away. She passed over at the time I was reading those words. Since then, my daughters and I give thanks to the Lady at each meal. We have more or less adopted the Pagan religion."

"Wow," said Eve, "what is a Pagan?"

"Well as I understand it, the word comes from paganus which meant a country dweller. Now it means a person who worships outside of the mainstream religions," Cathy said. "Some people think pagans are atheists because they don't worship the same God they do."

Eve noticed a bit of pride in that statement. (Now isn't pride one of the deadly sins? If you can't take pride in the work you do, why do it, she thought.)

. . . - . . . - . . . - . . . - - . - . - .

After the coffee was finished Nancy requested, "Nikki, go take Eve and watch some TV, as mom and I have to make a few arrangements for little Evie."

"Sure, c'mon Evie! We can watch the Discovery or Travel Channel," replied Nikki.

"Okay, Nikki. Emm, what are you two going to do to me, oops, sorry, for me?" an anxious Alan finally managed to ask.

Giggling, Nikki responded, "Oh, we're going to dress you as a widdle dirl and send you to a daycare center; or, maybe we'll get you one of those really pretty French Maid's uniforms and have you serve a formal dinner to the city managers; or, how about modeling teenage girdles and frilly special-occasion undies . . .. Sweetie, what we will do is make you see life from a different viewpoint. In my opinion, I think you will enjoy this experience. I can say this: it won't be a humdrum affair."

"Nikki, you and Nancy, well, the two of you seem so intelligent."

"Gee, Al. . ., errr Eve, that is really the nicest thing you've said," Nikki replied, a blush coming over her pretty face, "My sister and I read a lot of books. Mom home-schooled for two years, and when we were tested, we actually skipped a grade in that time. Mom's a great teacher!"

When Ms. Janice O'Shea came to say good-bye to her son, she found Nikki and Alan holding hands, heads together, watching a show on Travel in Bermuda.

"Umm, Eve; geez that sounds s-o-o strange! I'm going to be leaving soon, and Cathy assured me you'll be okay," said Janice. "She said I can go with you when you go out shopping or elsewhere."

Sitting there, Eve saw 'his' mother in a new light: as the woman who brought him into this world; one who cared for and loved him; one who would've fought a very well-connected person, just for him. 'He' decided to do something he would never do in pants – no never! He went over to her, hugged and kissed her directly on the lips. No sir, no peck on the cheek, but a full-blown, movie censorable "KISS," which was followed by, "Mommy, I love you so very much that it hurts. I'm s-o-o sorry I never said this before."

It was something Janice wanted to hear from him for so very long – this profession of love and closeness he had to her: this love meant so much, and now he admitted it. Could it be that he really felt that, dressed as a girl, he could act as one? Girls are usually closer to their mothers – boys don't say "mom, I love you" because that would make them a sissy momma's boy, something no boy wants to be called.

That small act of extreme affection of a son for his mother brought Janice to tears. "Sweetheart, I don't care if they do call you names, I love too, and I will always love you, no matter what!"

As Janice was about to leave, she got a hug and kiss from both girls. Mrs. Winters said, "Now you have my number if you need me. Remember to call Jack Mason in the city office building on Monday, and use me as a reference. It's mostly reading and filing city legal documents, and keeping track of various payments. I'm sure you'll be very busy!"

"Mrs. Winters, I thank you very much for dinner! It was very good, and I definitely will make that call," Janice replied with a broad smile.

- - - - - - . . . . . . . - - - - - - . . . . . .

"Your mother is very nice, Eve," Nikki said, as Nancy went back to her phone. "Mom once said that a man who is close to women usually makes a better husband."

Finished on the phone for a while, Nancy returned to the family room to an unusual sight. There was 'Eve' sitting across Nikki's lap, sucking rather contentedly on 'her' pacifier and watching TV, with Nikki caressing her 'baby.'

"Nikki, it's time to put your toys away," Nancy said with a smug grin.

"Aw, Nancy, do I hafta," was her sheepish "I-got-caught-redhanded" reply.

"It's nine thirty. Time for young ladies to be in bed," Nancy admonished. "C'mon, both of you!"

Upstairs, Nikki went her room as Nancy led Eve to the guest room. First, she removed Eve's "Shirley Temple" wig, fluffed it a bit and put it on a wig stand.

Alan asked, "What's that thing?"

"That's a wig stand, to help the wig keep its shape and protect it," was her reply.

Then, Eve was undressed, down to the diapers. As she lay on the bed, Nancy said, "Now, young lady, I'm going to remove your diaper and you can put on your Powerpuff robe and slippers to go potty. Remember, sit like a lady; don't stand like a nasty boy (here, Nancy made 'ugly face')."

That morning 'Alan' would never dream of wearing a robe picturing Blossom, Buttercup, Bubbles and soft bunny-shaped slippers? NO WAY! And now, he was wearing both – there was no change in the world, the sky was still blue, he didn't turn green, s-o-o-o-o it can't be that bad. In the bathroom, Eve took care of her bodily needs, washed hands, brushed teeth, and washed her mouth out. Looking in the mirror, s/he saw a boy, or girl, or boy, or was it a girl. In his mind, the images seemed swirl, first separate, then merge, then separate again. It was like looking into a kaleidoscope.

Back in the bedroom, Nancy asked, "You washed and ready for beddy-bye, sweetums? Mommy Nancy is going to put a nice fresh diddie on ums."

"Da ba doo goo gooms mama," Eve replied laughing, then told Nancy what he experienced in the bathroom. He seriously asked, "Nancy, what am I?"

An amused smile came onto Nancy's lovely face. Her statement was, "You are!" With his puzzled expression, Nancy continued, "Each person born has a physical function to do. Females bear babies, and males produce the sperm to fertilize the egg in the woman's body. Each person is also an individual, free to express their own inner being. You are trying to be a big, strong, rugged man and all that you think it means, possibly for your mother. What you saw was the inner you trying to merge, emerge, makeover, however you want to see it, and make you into the person you could be."

'Alan' thought a bit, then said, "Am I correct in saying that I have a . . . a dual personality."

"Not really dual! Right now, you – we -- are trying to emm balance that out," Nancy stated, "Too masculine or assertive, and you could become a wife abuser – the 'you do this because I tell you to or else' type of person. Too feminine, and its 'I'm tho pretty it hurts, hi shugah, want ta get lucky?' "

(Oh what a sight in that bedroom! A philosophical discussion between a fully dressed, fifteen-going-on-thirty-year-old girl and a fourteen-year-old boy in a diaper and elastic pants about to be dressed in a lavender nylon baby-doll nightgown.)

"Okay, your alarm is set for seven thirty, the air conditioner is set for seventy-five degrees, so into bed with you, darling."

Eve got into bed – snuggled between nylon and satin. (Aah, what a way to end a day, 'Alan" thought.)

"Skootch over a bit," Nancy said as the door opened.

Nikki stuck her head in and said, "Hi sweetie – can't have you alone in this b-i-i-g room. Mommy Nikki is going to stay with her snookie-wookie!"

Entering the room, Eve saw that Nikki was dressed in a pale lime-green baby-doll gown. Nancy held up the sheet, and Nikki got in with Eve.

Before leaving, Nancy gave a good night kiss first to Nikki then Eve; she then admonished, "No fooling around, you two. We cook breakfast tomorrow."

The lights went out, and all was quiet, save for the soft hum of the air conditioner and a plaintive question from Eve: "Nikki, what's gonna happen tomorrow?"

Nikki laughed softly as she replied, "Let's just say you'll be getting up in the world! Sleep tight, Eve precious."

"Okay. Have a good night, Nikki," Eve said, kissing her lightly on the cheek as they cuddled up.

To be continued.

  

  

  

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