Birthday Wishes

by Staci Marie Denton

 

It was no big deal when I walked in and saw packed suit cases. Mom and Dad were always taking little trips to one tourist trap or another, and their mini vacations provided my inner self the opportunity to be a whole lot more expressive than was possible when they were home. But their timing brought up a really big red flag in my mind, for the next day would be my sixteenth birthday and they'd never been gone on any of my birthdays before.

"Hey, Mom. I'm home." I knew she had to be somewhere in the house, and sure enough my noise brought her scurring to the living room.

"Oh, Alex, I'm so glad you're home. Grandpa is really sick in Florida and your father insists we head down there for the next two or three weeks to help in any way we can."

"What's wrong?"

"His heart again. Doctor wants him to stay down as much as possible, but if somebody's not there to control his every move, . . . well, you know your grandfather."

"Soooo, you'll be gone two weeks?"

"Or longer. But don't worry, we didn't forget your birthday. In fact, I ordered a bunch of things for your special day. They should all arrive tomorrow, about six boxes, I think, so you should probably stay around till they get here."

"Okay!"

"And here's your card. But you can't open it till the first box arrives. Deal?"

"Umm, yeah. I can open it when the first box arrives, but no sooner."

"That's right. And I think the card tells a whole lot more that you will wonder about. Then, Thursday night your dad's sister will come over for dinner, but don't worry, she's bringing dinner for the two of you. Aunt Shirley. You just have to make sure there are cups and plates and forks."

"Got it."

"Good, cause she wants to explain something to you, something that I don't think you have a real clue about." She leaned forward and kissed me, then continued, "Now help me get these bags out to my car. When Dad drives in we have to leave straight for the airport."

I'd never seen Mom hurry so much. And I'd never heard her talk so fast either. I helped her load the car, which she backed out of the garage. Just as her brake lights came on Dad turned into the driveway beside her. He jumped out, handed me an envelope, which he said contained $400 to cover four weeks of expenses just in case they were gone that long.

"Thanks. And don't worry. I'll be responsible."

They both looked at me in a rather peculiar way, then in unison said, "We know. We can count on you."

"Have a good trip."

Then, as if not really aware of what I was saying, Dad replied, "You too." And with that they were out the driveway and speeding down Wheaton Lane toward the airport. I watched them disappear, then returned to the house and locked all the doors.

I had a plan. But I also had two or three weeks to carry it out. And I wasn't going to screw up and get caught doing something they wouldn't approve of when they return for the tickets they left on the kitchen table, or for the handbag that never made it to the car. No, I would just play it cool till I was sure they were far, far away from California. I plopped down on the sofa, grabbed the remote, and started racing through the channels. News, News, News. Reruns of shows that were made before I was born. Nothing. And then a trigger was pulled. Just as I flipped to the next channel a Maybelline commercial came on and I watched some beautiful model smiling back at me while her eyelashes got longer and thicker.

As the commercial ended I jumped to my feet, peeked outside, then hurried off to Mom's makeup drawer and my world of fantasy. I gazed into the mirror for a moment, took a deep breath which I let out in a sigh while mumbling the word "Before." Then I pulled open the drawer and extended my hand to the spot where her mascara should have been.

"It's gone!" I was in shock. "Her makeup's all gone." All I could think of was her light blue makeup bag. She filled it, I carried it to the car, and now my two or three weeks home alone would be hell.

I looked all over in her bedroom, in her closet, in her dresser and night stand, under her bed, and even in the downstairs bathroom. Nothing. How would I survive? How could I possibly keep a level head without making at least one attempt to be pretty?

Finally I gave up and returned to the family room and the television. I picked up the remote once again, but my attention was drawn instead to the envelope Mom had given me before she left. My birthday card. "Don't open it till the first package arrives," or something like that. She wouldn't know anyway, so I stuck a letter opener under the flap and slid it across the top.

As I removed the card a folded piece of stationary fell to the floor. But that's not what caught my attention. The card was pink and had a pretty little teenage girl on it. "Happy Sweet Sixteenth!" it shouted across the top. And inside, in Mom's handwriting, it read, "Lexi, I am sure you're just as pretty as the girl on the front of the card. And I'm pretty sure all the things I ordered will fit you just right. In any event, we can take care of everything when we return. Love Mom."

I was shocked. Obviously she knew, and that meant Dad probably knew. So now what was I supposed to do? Then I remembered the paper that had fallen to the floor and picked it up.

"Dear Lexi," and suddenly it dawned on me that she had used my girl name on the card and I'd read right through it without noticing. "I knew you would open this long before we ever landed in Florida, but I guess that's okay. I've known that you want to be a girl for a very long time, and I think it's time for you to make the transition while you still can.

"You have a pretty face, and when the six packages arrive you will have pretty clothes and things as well. I think I know how you are feeling about now, so go to the kitchen, open the left pantry door, find the white pharmacy bag behind all the cans of soup, and have fun. And be sure you're as pretty as you can possibly be when Aunt Shirley arrives for dinner Thursday.

"I have spent sixteen years raising a son. Now I'm looking forward to having a daughter."

Love Mom

That was weird. Mom always knew everything that I did, but I didn't think she had any idea about my fantasy world.

I hurried off to the pantry, retrieved the bag, then dumped its contents on the kitchen table. Out came mascara, lipstick, pressed powder, foundation, blush, eyeshadow, and another note.

"Have fun being a girl while we're gone."

I returned everything to the bag, hurried off to the bathroom, my heart pounding with excitement and apprehension all at the same time, and there before the mirror where I had stood so many times before, I spent nearly an hour putting on a pretty face, just like Mom had suggested in her note. As the mascara brush pulled repeatedly at my eyelashes a wonderful calm pervaded my being.

When finished I admired my reflection for a few minutes, then washed all the makeup off and optimystically wondered what the packages would contain.

Shortly after midnight the phone rang and I sleepily picked up the cordless receiver I'd placed by my bed.

"Hello?"

"Lexi, is that you?"

I didn't know what to say, so I just responded with something more akin to a grunt.

"Lexi, dear, I just wanted you to know that we arrived safely in Florida. Did you find the bag of makeup?"

"Yeah," I mumbled. Then I propped myself up on my elbow and asked, "How come you always know everything?"

"Mom's are like that. I guess that's how Grandma knew about Aunt Shirley."

"I guess."

"Talk to you soon, Sweety."

"Wait. Grandma knew what about Aunt Shirley?" Too late. She'd already hung up. What could Grandma possibly have known about Aunt Shirley? I stared into the darkness, watching shadows dance across the ceiling and walls, then rolled over and went right back to sleep.

Three loud knocks at the front door brought me out of bed and down the stairs, tying a bathrobe as I hurried. But I opened the door to an empty porch and the sound of a UPS truck hurrying down the street. I pushed the screen open so that I could look on each side of the door and sure enough there was a small cardboard book under the house numbers.

I lifted it up and read, "Alexis Lynn Montgomery." How funny. I'd decided on Lexi as my girl name probably five years earlier, but I'd never thought of it as being short for Alexis. But I liked that. And Lynn fit so nicely in there too.

I sat on the sofa, right where I'd planted myself the night before, and began ripping into the box which had no writing to give away the contents. Finally I pulled back the flaps, reached inside, and pulled out a clear plastic bag which contained beautiful, blonde hair. A wig. It was perfect. Long straight hair with squared off bangs.

Stretching it over my head, I was impressed at how well it looked with the skin tone of my arms and hustled off to the bathroom mirror to see if it looked as good with my face. It did. Then I went to Mom's room and sat on the stool in front of her mirror to start brushing out the tangles it managed to get during shipping. Of course it moved a little bit with each stroke of the brush, but in little time I was used to the idea and figured a way to brush it without giving away that it was a wig.

What a present! Mom couldn't have been kinder. I'd never had a wig on and I'd never had long hair. Now it was down to the middle of my back. I took my robe and pajama top off and shook my head from side to side just to feel the long hair against my naked skin. It was sensational.

Wearing just my pajama bottoms and the wig I danced around the room, loving every strand of my new hair. Whether I walked or danced or just wiggled my head from side to side the hair on my skin had a cooling effect. And where I had been up tight the night before, I now stood totally relaxed and at peace with everything.

When the doorbell rang I hurried back down the stairs and opened the door quickly to discover three more boxes, all much larger than the first. The two largest carried the name of an on-line women's clothing store. I dragged them inside one at a time, careful not to nock the wig off, then cautiously tore them open.

The first two contained seven dresses, four skirts, eight blouses, three bras, two slips, ten panties, a set of C-cup breast forms with surgical adhesive, and a dozen pair of pantyhose. The smaller box held nine pair of shoes, including sandals, tennies, dress flats, and two pair of high heels that I'd probably break my ankles with. The sizes were different from men's shoes, but I tried them on and they all fit perfectly.

Dumbfounded with everything Mom had sent me, all addressed to "Alexis" of course, I couldn't help wondering what was going on in her mind. I mean, my whole life I'd known that I should have been born a girl, but that's not the sort of information you share with anybody. Not in today's society, anyway. But here I was a boy, getting girl presents for my sixteenth birthday. And they're all from my mother.

I leaned back on the sofa, still wearing just the wig and my pajama bottoms, and realized that all these things were here for me. So I hauled them off to my room and began hanging everything in the closet, or stashing it away in dresser drawers. That meant removing quite a few guy things and throwing them into the now empty boxes.

Once complete, I put on a light blue push-up bra which I fastened awkwardly in the middle of my back, slid in the breast forms, then turned to face the mirror. At first expressionless, I watched as a smile grew ever so slowly across my face. Next I removed the pajamas and pulled on light blue panties which disappointingly did not hide evidence of my male genitalia. Next I pulled a mid-length slip over my head, wiggling it down till the spaghetti straps rested neatly, gently on my shoulders. I glanced down in the mirror, pleased that no trace of my male anatomy was now revealed.

I spun around in place, giggling like a little girl at the feel of satin and long hair, then returned to my mirror where I sat down and stared at the pile of makeup I had not yet put away. I picked up a bottle of foundation, opened it slowly, deliberately, and tipped the bottle to get some on my finger. I then wiped it on my cheek, only to discover a scratchy beard. I rinsed my hand, then shaved very closely, pulling the safety razor every direction on my face till every trace of beard was completely gone. Then I started over with the foundation. Wow! For several years I'd worn lipstick and mascara when they were gone, and sometimes even used eyeshadow and eyeliner, so this was something new. I followed the foundation with pressed powder. Mom had put two compacts in the bag and I chose the darker one which gave me an appearance of having a slight tan.

I was looking so much like a girl it was scarey. Next I covered my eyelid with lilac eyeshadow, then used a darker hue of the same along the crease of my eyelid, and followed with an eyeliner pencil. I'd watched the girls at school as they would pull their lower lid away from the eye and darken the skin between their lashes and their eyeballs so I tried that with some degree of success. Finally I finished my eyes with several layers of black mascara.

Next I chose a dark pink lipstick, using it as a blush on my cheeks as well.

Though I had been watching in the mirror, I really had not paid very much attention to my overall appearance. With the lipstick on, however, I pulled back and saw the whole me. Lexi was staring back in more glory than ever before. There was not a trace of Alex anywhere. So I pulled on a pretty pink dress, slid my feet into the white high heels, and danced over to the full length mirror where I giggled and spun and tried my hand at feminine gestures. The shoes were awkward, but not so much so as I had figured, so I left the room in something of a hurry.

At the top of the stairs I slowed down a bit, held tight to the handrail, then descended as gracefully as possible. Two mirrors along the stairway brought huge smiles to my face, and the mirror in the entry did the same. While I stood there checking out the woman I had become, the doorbell rang and I quickly opened the door to stare into the face of yet another United Parcel delivery driver.

"Two packages for Alexis Montgomery."

"Thank you," I managed in my most feminine voice, taking both boxes from his outstretched hands.

As I started to shut the door, he asked, "Alexis, huh? I thought I knew the whole family, but I don't remember ever delivering anything for you before."

"Well maybe you should start waiting for somebody to come to the door instead of just leaving things on the porch."

I didn't wait for a response. I just closed the door in disbelief that I had been hit on by a guy. Then I realized that I had flirted in response. I felt myself blush, then muttered, "What the hell," and sat again on the sofa where I opened the last two boxes.

Inside the first were false eyelashes, press-on fingernails in several styles, five bottles of nail polish, a tube of fingernail glue, a few inexpensive rings, earrings, and necklaces, a woman's wrist watch, and a few bracelets.

The last box contained women's anti-perspirant, perfume, and a pair of tweezers, along with instructions for plucking eyebrows. The last bottle in the box was a type of hair remover which, the note said, would strip me down to my slick nothings.

About then I came out of my fantasy world with the very familiar sound of the trash truck stopping momentarily in front of our house. I peeked outside in time to see the trash barrel raised up and emptied. Immediately panic set in. Mom and Dad's hard and fast rule was that the empty trash barrel had to be taken to the back yard within fifteen minutes, or else. I never wanted to find out what "or else" meant, and had always hurried out to retrieve the empty container. Now, even though they were three thousand miles away I knew they would know if I just left it there. I'd just have to strip down to being Alex for a few minutes, and even found myself reaching for the wig, but the image in the mirror came to mind, and then the exchange with the UPS driver, so I decided to give it a shot. I hurried out the back door, making sure it would not lock behind me, then hustled out the gate and down the driveway. Once my hand was on the barrel and I tipped it for pulling, a car shot in the driveway.

"Hey, is Alex home?"

Oh my gosh. Before I even turned I recognized David's voice. My best friend in the whole wide world was not five feet from me and I was dressed like a girl. To just run to the back yard would be rude, and I'd have to explain it later. To turn and face him would give away much more info than I wanted to do right at that moment, and I didn't think my feminine voice was quite good enough to fool an old buddy. Sad truth was that I couldn't think of any way out. So I took the biggest gamble of my life. I stopped, turned to face David at something of an angle, so as to show off my girlish figure, then in the best voice ever, with a bit of a southern drawl, I said, "Why no, sweetie. He ain't home right yet."

"Okay, thanks. Just let him know Dave was over, all right?"

"Shore nuff will. You drive careful, now."

And with that he was gone.

Oh my gosh. I had passed as a girl with my best friend. Was that even possible? He hadn't said anything if he did figure it out. And as a best friend he must have known that there shouldn't be a girl there. I didn't have any sisters, and he'd met my only female cousin, a 10-year-old Tom boy. But I stood and watched him drive away and decided that Alexis, Lexi, was my 16-year-old cousin from Florida. So far away we never see her much and hardly ever talk about her. Yeah. That's what I'd tell him.

I wasn't back in the house ten minutes when the phone rang. I glanced at the caller ID and sure enough it was Dave, so I answered in my regular voice.

"Wow! Who's that hottie?"

"What?" I tried to sound like I didn't know what he was talking about.

"That girl that was taking your trash in. She's beautiful. You been holding out on me, Alex?"

"Oh, that's Lexi. My cousin from Florida. And I guess that means you were the cute guy who drove in, said 'Hi,' then left."

"She thought I was cute?"

"Uhhh, that's what she said."

"So how long's this Lexi gonna be here?"

"Probably a long time. She's gonna be here and I'm gonna be down in Florida taking care of my grandparent's place. Grandpa's pretty sick. Heart. So pretty soon I'll be going down there for practically forever, if he lives that long."

"Yeah, so what about your cousin?"

"Hold on a sec." I put my hand over the mouthpiece, thought about it a moment, then took the chance of my life. Removing my hand I said, "Why don't you come over after dinner, about 7:30. She said she'll be on the porch swing if you wanna come over and talk."

"I'll be there. You can tell her."

"Don't be early, man."

"Okay. Seven thirty. You gonna be there too?"

"Nope. I'll be at my aunt's house tonight, babysitting."

And with that we ended the call and hung up.

 

As I hung up, the phone rang again. This time it was Mom's cell phone, so before she could ask I pushed the talk button and said, "I already brought the trash in."

I was greeted by silence for a full ten seconds before she responded, "Lexi? Did you meet a boy?"

"Moooooooom," I whined. "What are you saying?"

"Whatever. Thank you for remembering the trash barrell. And be careful. You're not exactly used to being a girl and I don't want my new daughter getting hurt."

"Mom! Don't worry. I'm fine. And what makes you think I'd have anything to do with guys, anyway?"

"It's just. It was something in your voice. Just . . . oh never mind. But pay attention to your aunt tomorrow night."

I agreed to do just that, then hung up and let out a long sigh. I looked at the clock on the mantle, then picked up the two newest boxes and climbed the stairs one more time, noticing that my leg muscles were feeling the pain of high heels.

"Three hours till David gets here." I stripped down to my bare nothings, then read the instructions for the hair remover as I walked to the bathroom. I smeared the foul smelling slime all over my body, practically gagging from the stench, let it sit and work its magic about five minutes, then jumped in the shower.

Almost every hair from my arms and torso swirled down the drain, leaving me with soft, tender skin everywhere except my face. On that I shaved for the second time that day.

I dried off, then sat naked on the stool in front of Mom's magnifying mirror, which I borrowed for the time being, and made my first attempt at shaping my eyebrows. Ouch! One by one I tweezed the long hairs, just as the instructions suggested. After nearly thirty minutes of self-inflicted pain, I was satisfied that only young hairs remained, so I decided on an arch that I thought would look nice and began removing the younger hairs so as to create the arch I wanted.

I glanced at the small faced gold watch that Mom had included in my transformation packages, and realized that time was moving just a little bit too fast. Nearly six o'clock and I was still naked.

I pulled on some pink satin panties, then used adhesive to attach the breastforms. I held them in place a few minutes till the glue dried, then stood to admire my new shape. It was so different to feel their weight on my chest. It was so different to reach for something and find that one or the other of my breasts was in the way. I cupped my hands over them and realized that they had picked up my body heat and were no longer cold. I felt a smile race across my face as I reached for the same bra I'd been wearing all afternoon.

But tonight would be different. I put on a half slip and a blue skirt, then did my makeup. I chose darker shades that earlier, hoping for an evening look, then finished it off with a sweater blouse that Mom had picked out to go perfect with that skirt. I chose some dangling gold earrings, a complimentary gold chain, placed my watch on my wrist, then slid my feet into sandles with one-inch heels. I had about an hour remaining, so I hurried downstairs, ate half a sandwich to tide me over till David had gone, then started gluing on my acrylic nails. I finished with about five minutes to spare, so I checked myself in the mirror, brushed my wig quickly, freshened my lipstick, then turned out most the lights and went to the front porch swing where I waited for my very first date as a girl, if you could call it a date.

As usual, David was about ten minutes late, giving me some time to think about the new direction my life was going. I liked it. I really liked being a girl, and easily decided that I didn't want to go back. Pretty soon my thoughts drifted to David. He'd been my best friend for several years, but for the first time I realized that he was my best friend becuse I enjoyed being with him. I guess that even as a guy I was attracted to him, but never would have made the move. Now I could. Now I knew that I liked David as something more that just a friend. But my true gender could be a serious problem if he suddenly became interested in the new me. And then I realized that my mind was focused on a plan of seduction. Maybe I could steal a kiss tonight, if he ever showed up, but how much further could we possibly go than a tender, first kiss?

The light was nearly gone from the sky when he pulled in the driveway. I sat and watched in nervous anticipation. He turned off the engine, turned off the lights, and after a few moments he finally opened the door, climbed out, as if it were an effort, then strolled slowly to the porch. I didn't notice that his right hand was hiding something till he finally pulled from behind his back a small white bud vase with two pink roses.

I stood and accepted the gift, then set it on the window sill beside the porch swing and motioned for him to sit beside me.

"So you're Lexi?"

I responded with a nod, then added, "It's short for Alexis."

"Cool! So the family has an Alex and an Alexis."

"I guess it had to happen that way since we share the same birthday. Only he's about an hour older than me." I don't know if that was smart of me or not, but I figured that way I would remember when Lexi was born. Then it dawned on me. Lexi really was born on Alex's birthday.

"Alex says you might be here for a while?"

"Yeah. We're trading places, sorta. I'm here to house sit while his family is in Florida, and he's going down there in a day or two to take care of Grandpa. He can do the heavy work that I wouldn't be able to handle."

"I'll bet you could if you tried." David's voice was soft and caring, totally different from anything I'd ever heard from him before. And even encouraging. At first that made me unsure of myself. Could I trust him? Where was the joking, insulting, teasing teenaged guy I'd grown up with?

"Yeah, maybe. But they really didn't give me a choice. Now I guess I need to enroll in school in the next few weeks if things don't get better in Florida really fast."

"Do you like school?"

"Yeah, I guess I do." I was sounding all philosophical and dreamy, just staring out at the stars as they winked on above the horizon. Then, out of the blue, I pointed to a really bright Venus and asked, "Do you know what that bright star is over there? It's so bright it must be on fire."

"Saturn, I think." Way to go, David. I almost laughed at his not knowing. If I were Alex right now I'd call him stupid and tease him relentlessly. Then he pulled it all back together, giving himself a really romantic way out and reminding me that I was not Alex anymore and never would be again. "That's the planet with the rings, and I'm thinking how much I'd like to be sitting up there on those rings with you, our feet dangling off the edge into the emptiness of the universe. I'd put my arm around your shoulders, like this, and pull you closer so I wouldn't have to worry about you falling off and getting away from me." And ever so gently his big, strong arm pulled me closer to his side where I really did feel safe.

I turned a tiny little bit and put my right arm up behind his back, and my left arm around his stomach. Then I rested my head on his shoulder and did not want to let go.

For several minutes neither of us spoke. It was just nice being together with him. Finally, the silence was overwhelming and I tipped my head back and looked up into his face and asked, "Were you thinking about us all afternoon? Like what could come of this chance meeting we had in the driveway?"

"I couldn't get you out of my mind. You looked so cute tugging at that big trash barrel. I should have helped you with it, but all I could do was sit there in my car and drool."

"Really? You were drooling?"

"Yeah."

"I was making you drool?"

"You were." He grinned a little bit, something I'd never seen before. "I guess I just took one look at you and all I could think of all afternoon was what it would be like to kiss a beautiful girl like you."

"You think I'm beautiful?" Panic was setting in. This was the only way I could think to avoid the kiss until I was sure.

"Of course you're beautiful."

"Well I've never thought of myself like that before. I've just always thought of myself as an average, ordinary girl."

"Believe me, Lexi, you are one very beautiful young woman." With that I squeezed a little bit tighter, then planted a lip print on this left cheek. I was becoming a girl in more than just outward appearances.

"David, you are too kind. Alex kept telling me you were a great friend, but I think maybe we could become more than friends." With that I stood up and continued, "I've gotta go inside for now, but thanks for the roses and I hope you can come back over Friday night. I'll have the whole evening free."

"Maybe you'd go to the football game with me that night. It's our biggest game of the year."

"Yeah, . . . um . . . maybe I will. Call me Thursday, about 9, and I'll let you know if football is okay."

He didn't answer at first. He just held me tight, in silence, then bent down and put his lips gently on mine. I was helpless. We were kissing, and I was enjoying it more than any kiss I'd ever had. His tongue penetrated my lips so gently, so carefully, it was as if he were carressing my soul. And I wanted it again. But suddenly David was through kissing. He thanked me for the time we were together and said he looked forward to being with me on Friday.

I hurried inside as he stepped off the porch, then from the darkness of the living room I watched his taillights fade away down the street.

Thursday evening, just as promised, Aunt Shirley showed up at dinner time with a hot pepperoni pizza. I opened the door before she was even up the steps, wondering what she would say about me wearing women's clothes. Nothing. At least not right then. But as soon as the pizza was in place on the kitchen table she spun and smiled, then said, "Oh, Lexi, you look fabulous." She reached out a hand, which I took in mine, then she held it up, stepped back half a step, and just stared.

"So what's the big deal about you coming over tonight? I mean, Mom made it sound like the world might stop turning if you didn't have the chance to come and see the new me."

"That's what I like to see . . . confidence." She let go of my hand, then turned and sat in Mom's chair at the table. "Come on, Lexi. Pizza is meant to be eaten hot, no matter how good it tastes cold."

I plopped down across from Dad's sister and reached for a slice.

"Nice nails, Lexi. Do them yourself?"

"They're press-on. But I glued them."

"Yeah, I used those a time or two when I was a teenager."

"I thought girls just went to salons."

"Nobody went to nail salons way back then. Too expensive." She paused and flashed that incredible smile she was so famous for. "But I have a couple other reasons for not getting my nails done."

I frowned over my pizza, confused at where she was going with a statement like that.

"I never wanted you to know, Alex, cause I thought it would just confuse you, but fifteen years ago, when I was 26, I ventured down the same road you are headed down right now."

"Huh? So . . . you wanted to be a boy?"

"No," she smiled. "I was already a boy. I wanted to become a girl."

I stopped chewing and about gagged on my last bite of pizza. "You mean . . . you were a boy . . . and you had a sex change."

"I mean exactly that. And that's why I'm here tonight. Your Mom, and even your Dad, thought I could share a little bit of what I went through, and am still going through, because of my decision."

"You don't look like a boy, Aunt Shirley. I think you look totally like a girl. A pretty girl. I mean woman. And you always have been pretty."

"Always to you is only 16 years, Alex." She now was speaking in a frighteningly simple tone of voice. "My final surgery was just a week before you were born."

"Why did you wait so long?"

"I never got the support from my family that you are getting from yours. And I dare say that you wouldn't be getting that if they hadn't already gone through it once. Your father wouldn't even stay in the same room with me for nearly five years. I was different. I was a freak. And I've been beaten on more than one occasion because of the decision I made."

"Beaten? But . . . ."

"No, Alex. What you're doing is not accepted by the vast majority of society. It's better now than it was, but that means two percent says OK instead of one percent." She paused to drink some water, then sat silently holding the glass and concentrating. She then continued, much more softly, more matter of factly. "I was brought up as a boy. I was taught the boy way of doing things. I played baseball. I crawled on my hands and knees through piles of dirt, trying to keep up with male siblings, cousins, and neighbors. I mowed lawns to earn extra money for baseball gloves and caps. And I went to dances, including my junior and senior proms, with the prettiest girls in my class.

"But all that time I was wishing I was a girl. I cannot remember a time in my entire life that I did not think of myself as a girl trapped inside the wrong body. I was just reacting to the beating I got when I was about five years old and my father caught me playing with a Barbie Doll. At first he thought I was going to do some kind of guy thing to it, poke it or something, so he stood and watched. But I was being too motherly or sisterly or something, so he yanked off his belt, laid me face down on the floor, then beat the hell out of me till a neighbor heard the screams and came to rescue me. 'My son ain't gonna be no faggot,' he kept yelling over and over and over till my ears rang with his sickening voice."

I was stunned. I sat silently watching Aunt Shirley who still sat staring into the glass of water she was clutching about a foot over the table.

"Dad wasn't arrested, like he would be today. He wasn't even scolded. And I guess he thought about what he'd done to me, and how it was wrong, but he never apologized or anything. He never even spoke to me again. I wanted his attention. I longed for his admiration and his praise. That's probably why I did everything I could to prove that I was a guy. Heck, I even led the league in homeruns my senior year, and maintained a .365 batting average. I was like a homerun hero in my father's favorite sport, and he wouldn't come to a single game, wouldn't read about them in the paper, and didn't even go to the awards banquet.

"Finally I gave up the act, though. As a sophomore in college we had a fraternity party where everybody had to crossdress. It was the opportunity I'd been waiting for my entire life and I didn't even realize it until the party was over and I had to go back to being a guy. I didn't want to. I liked what I saw in the mirror way too much. We had sorority sisters come over and dress us and put makeup on us, the whole works. They did such a great job on me that everybody thought I was a real girl, and I really liked the feeling. I liked having boobs. I loved having long hair falling all over in my face. I loved the long nails, the high heels, two inchers is all, I loved the skirt, and I especially loved the feel of lipstick when I rubbed my lips together. But the best feeling of all was the feeling of the mascara brush pulling through my eyelashes again and again till I had the longest, thickest lashes you've ever seen."

Finally she set her glass down and took another bite of pizza. "When it was all over that evening," she continued, "and I was sitting all alone with my girlfriend from the sorority, I realized that I felt more like her girlfriend than her boyfriend. We talked for awhile, and downed a couple glasses of root beer, then she asked if I wanted her to unzip the dress for me before she left. I told her I would rather have her pluck my eyebrows. She just stared at me for a minute or two with the most peculiar look on her face, then asked why. I told her I wanted to be a girl and shared everything I'd been through in my life and before I knew it my eyebrows were arched and I had a new kind of girlfriend.

"She kissed me on the lips before she left in the morning. A goodbye kiss she called it, and I was afraid that meant I would never see her again. That was nearly twenty-five years ago and we've seen each other nearly every day since. When my family abandoned me, except that Mom was always there for me, my best friend Ginger was at my side."

"Oh, I've met Ginger."

"She's a great friend. Everybody needs a Ginger . . . even you."

She stopped and just stared into my face for the longest time, almost to the point of making me uncomfortable.

"Do you have a girlfriend, Alex?"

"Yeah."

"How close is she? I mean, is she close enough to still be your friend once you join her gender?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Well tell me what's going on with her and anybody else who counts as a friend."

I told about David's accidentally running into Lexi, then coming over the next night and how I'd made up the story of Alex going to Florida and Alexis coming here to house sit and how we shared birthdays.

"Sounds good to me," Aunt Shirley said. "And I can probably help. But your girlfriend is going to be the real key to the whole thing. What's her name?"

"Lydia."

"Well how about you call Lydia and ask her to come over?"

I just stared at my aunt in disbelief. "I don't get it. I mean, you think I should tell her?"

"If you really want to be Alexis for the rest of your life, then you'd better start facing the reality of it. The people you love will have to know the truth. Some will walk away, some will torment and taunt you, but some will be drawn to you, for curiosity or whatever reason, and they will stick to you like glue. But you can't go around deceiving everybody forever.

"One of these days Lexi will fall in love and want to get married. Maybe even to David. That man will have to know the truth, and the sooner you tell him the better. Otherwise you'll be out on a date, sitting in a car along some dark street, and things will start getting hot and heavy and his hand will discover the truth you've been conceiling. That's when guys get violent."

"I think I'm in better control than that."

"You're not," Aunt Shirley countered. "Nobody's in that much control. You fall in love and start getting passionate and control is the first thing that goes." Suddenly she stopped, staring at me with critical, all-knowing eyes. "You've never been out as a girl, have you?"

"Not really. I mean, down to the curb to get the trash barrels."

"That doesn't count for much, Lexi. I mean have you been out where you were forced to meet and interact with people, in public, as a woman?"

I simply shook my head. And suddenly I saw it coming. I had been hiding in the house. Anybody can do anything in the safety of their house. Aunt Shirley knew that and was about to give me a test.

"OK, cutie. It's time for your unveiling. So why don't you check yourself in the mirror and grab a purse and jacket, and let's do some serious malling." She instantly jumped up and led me to her car.

"Malling?" I'd never heard any form of "mall" used as a verb before.

"We don't have to buy anything. We're simply going to stroll through the mall for an hour or so, meeting and talking to other human beings. You know, a couple women out doing some serious looking . . . at clothes, at men, at other women (the competition, you know) and maybe we'll even buy something. So bring your money."

I jumped to my feet, took a few wabbly steps toward the stairs, then had my first reservations about the whole thing. "Aunt Shirley, I'm . . . I'm not sure I can . . . ."

"You're afraid. You're about to do something you've never done before. How'd you feel the first time you ran out on a baseball field in front of a large crowd?"

"Afraid."

"Of course you were afraid. That's normal. If we all dodged life when we were afraid then nobody would do anything." She paused a while, then continued, "Just get your purse and your money and come along. I'll be with you, and I guarantee that nobody will recognize you."

I did as I was told and in very little time we were out the door under the cover of darkness and on our way to the mall.

"Were you afraid, Aunt Shirley?"

She laughed a little, then nodded and uttered, "Uh huh."

"So how'd you get over it?"

"By doing what we're doing right now . . . and by getting a job where I had to work with other people."

"Who took you?"

"Nobody. I was so afraid that I didn't go out till I was much older than you are. It took a lot of guts. And getting a job took a lot of guts too."

"What did you do?"

"I demonstrated cosmetics at a department store. The manager liked how I looked and asked me to put makeup on other women who came in and wondered what they could do to enhance their beauty. So I wore a lot of makeup every day, and I put even more makeup on the women and girls who came in. It gave me opportunity to talk to other women, you know, woman to woman. It was fun. But it was me. If you're thinking of getting a job you need to get a job that's right for you."

I was silent for a moment, then asked, "What about a dress shop? I love clothes."

"Sounds good. Why don't you try Jean's right here in the mall." She turned into a parking space and I felt my heart pounding a little bit harder as we got out of the car.

Then without hesitation Aunt Shirley led the way through the mall doors with me trying desparitely to keep up in my heels.

About twenty steps in and she reminded me to keep smiling. "You look like you're terribly worried about falling."

I smiled as we turned the corner, practically running into three girls from my English class. Two weeks earlier I'd even done a group presentation with two of them and almost said hello. But I'm no longer Alex. They did not recognize me and we all apologized for our poor direction.

"Your voice is improving, Lexi."

I smiled and muttered a soft, "Thanks."

"Well you're quite welcome. Now let's give it a little bit of a workout." She grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me into a store I'd never entered before. I glanced around and on the wall above the register was the name Jean's. I thought her suggestion to get a job was nothing more than a suggestion, but here she was dragging me in. Again I felt my heart pounding, a little bit higher in my chest this time. Yes, I was nervous, but I tried not to show it and started looking at some dresses.

"Any of those would look really nice on you." I looked up into the eyes of an older woman who stood an inch or two taller than me. Curley blonde hair hung to her shoulders and kind of bounced as she moved. She had long, beautiful eyelashes surrounding the bluest eyes I'd ever seen.

"I was trying to imagine how I'd look in this one." I pulled a blue dress from the rack.

"Good choice. The dressing room's just past the counter if you want to try it on."

I hesitated a moment, looking in the direction she pointed, and thank goodness Aunt Shirley walked up right then.

"Oh, I see you two have met."

"Shirley. Long time no see."

"How you doing, Jean? Trying to fit my niece in something as blue as your eyes?"

"You never told me you had a niece in town."

"Just arrived from Florida. The sunshine state, you know. I expected a little more tan, but I guess she spends most of her time indoors."

"Well, she's lovely just the same." I thought Jean had forgotten me, but suddenly she turned my direction and pointed once more toward the dressing room. "Go ahead and try it on, little Angel, while I do some catching up with your Auntie."

I did as instructed this time and disappeared for nearly ten minutes. When I emerged, both ladies hurried over to say how sensational I looked in it, then Jean said, "You know that with your employee discount that dress will only be $70."

"Employee discount?"

They just stared at me a moment, then Jean smiled and said, "You start at 3:30 tomorrow . . . if you want the job."

The only thing in my mind was that now I would have to pass as a girl. I would be forced to interact. And since Jean's is a nice dress shop, I would have to dress the part every day.

Then Jean dropped the bomb. "Since you're obviously in school you will need a work permit as soon as possible. And until I get that I can only let you work three hours a day. Is that OK with you, Lexi?"

Thank goodness Aunt Shirley was there with me. She jumped right in, explaining once again that I had just arrived from Florida and that I was not even enrolled yet, but that "we" could probably arrange for a work permit within two weeks.

Jean smiled and nodded in response, then turned to me and in a voice a little bit louder than a whisper commanded, "And I will see you at 3:30 tomorrow, Lexi." Then she giggled and added, "I hope you like your aunt as much as I do. She is one of the most wonderful, genuine women I have ever met. She really knows what it means to be a woman."

Knowing what I knew, I grinned and nodded in agreement. Shirley reminded me that I had to change back to the clothes I had been wearing when I came in, then said, quite matter-of-factly, "We'd better get home right now. I've got a lot of work to take care of by tomorrow afternoon." Sudddenly she was out the door, gone for the evening.

I headed upstairs, and once on the landing the phone rang. I answered as Lexi, assuming it was Dave, and I was right. I turned him down for the football game, but invited him over Sunday night. "Maybe we could go for a walk or something."

I was really stretching it, but my girl-talking-to-boy experience was quite limited and I was feeling the strain. Surprisingly he accepted the counter offer, which eased the stress level significantly. So we talked till almost midnight, covering every subject imaginable. He asked lots of questions about Florida, and I got pretty antsy, wondering if he was trying to figure out that I was a liar. Or should I say, how much of a liar I was. Finally I said I really didn't want to talk about a place I would probably never see again, but that I'd love to hear about California. "Afterall, this is the first time I've ever been here."

That was the single best thing I could have done. He told me everything from the gold rush to Disneyland to the Golden Gate Bridge to the Winchester Mystery House to all the strange people you might see on Sunset Boulevard. He talked about how people can snow ski in the morning and surf in the afternoon, all because the mountains are so accessable. And through it all I succeeded in sounding like I'd never heard all these things before.

Finally we weren't making any sense, and the silence between speakers was growing increasingly long, so I told him good night and hung up.

Shirley proved once again the next morning that she was incredible. She sat down at the kitchen table and started dialing while I opened the computer then sat and just watched and listened. After the first few calls she instructed me to get out the digital camera and tripod. She had me change clothes three times, then she combed my hair differently for each of four grade level pictures.

Once finished, she created a cum folder about Alexis Lynn Montgomery, fifteen-year-old sophomore from Rosemary Beach, Florida, a quaint little town I'd never been to or even heard of, about 70 miles east of Pensacola in the Florida panhandle. Complete with ID photos from 7^th, 8^th, 9^th, and 10^th grades, as well as transcripts of my actual grades as Alex (at least that part wasn't a lie), my cum folder was more than a little bit convincing.

In no time at all everything imaginable had been changed. Aunt Shirley had a friend in Rosemary Beach who would intercept my real records when then arrived at the school district office, and would mail the new records for Alexis asap so that I could enroll at my old high school within a week or two.

Once complete, she made a couple other phone calls and arranged for a new birth certificate correcting the mistakes that nobody had ever noticed in the previous fifteen years, but now that "she" was about to go in for a learner's permit and start driving it would be most appropriate if the birth certificate accurately identified me as Alexis, a girl.

"I don't know how they could possibly have made such a silly mistake," she told the county clerk. "You'd think that a doctor, even an old country doctor, would be able to tell the difference between a boy and a girl, even if it was at three in the morning."

Aunt Shirley went on and on with her chatter till they must have agreed to make the change and send a copy just to shut her up. It worked, though, and that's all that mattered.

Slowly, methodically, I was becoming a girl. Not just in the mirror, but on paper as well. "In a few days, young lady," she giggled, poking me in the nose with an extended index finger, "you will be able to convince everybody but God that you are a girl and always have been."

"Why not God?"

"Chromosomes. No matter what you do, no matter what the doctors do, you will still have those pesky male chromosomes. But I don't know of a single man anyplace on the planet who goes around checking out a woman's chromosomes. No, mam. Men are only interested in five things: Boobs, both of them, cleavage, tied in to boobs, thighs, skinny waists, and long, silky hair. If you have any one of those, even if it's not completely developed, men will be falling all over you. And if you've got two or more of those atributes you'll be able to hold them spellbound for hours. No, Lexi, they won't be checking out your chromosomes."

With that she shoved the cum folder into one envelope, a check for Lexi's birth certificate in another envelope, sealed both, then leaned forward on her elbows, stared me in the eye, and said, "Now about your girlfriend?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously."

I just stared back into those beautiful eyes. "If you really want me to . . . ."

"Call her. Use Alex's voice and get her over here as quickly as possible. While you're doing that I'm going to the post office. I'll be back with hamburgers and fries for three. Get her here by 5 o'clock. OK?"

I nodded as she turned and left. Then, after three false starts, I succeeded in dialing Lydia's number. It only rang once, Lydia picked up, and before I could chicken out I invited her to my house for hamburgers, assuring her that my aunt would be chaperoning.

"I'd love to. What time?"

"Five."

"Hold on." Then, with her hand over the mouthpiece, I heard her ask for her mother's permission, which, of course, was granted.

Confused with everything that was happening to me so quickly, I went to the family room where I opened my purse and freshened my makeup. Then I sat in Dad's recliner, consciously pulled my knees together, and started thumbing through the Seventeen Magazine Mom had left on the coffee table just for me. In a short time, before I had seen half the magazine, Aunt Shirley returned with burgers, fries, and a big bottle of root beer.

"Did you call her?"

"Yeah." I paused, expecting her to interject something. But she was silent. "She said she'd be here at five."

"So look at your watch, Lexi."

As I glanced at my left wrist the doorbell rang. "Oh, crap. Now what do I do?"

"You stay right here. I'll get the door. Eaves drop on our chatter, but don't come in till I call you."

"Agreed."

Shirley hurried off to let Lydia in and I moved to a point of invisibility where I'd be able to hear everything.

"Lydia? Come in, come in. Alex will be down in a few minutes. I'm his Aunt. Shirley Jenkins." There was silence as they moved across to the livingroom sofa where they sat at opposite ends.

"So you're his mother's sister?"

"No. His father's sister. My maiden name was Montgomery. Have you known Alex very long?"

"We've been best friends about two years. We go everywhere together, but I've always felt like we were best friends rather than boyfriend/girlfriend."

"Oh? Why's that?"

"I don't know. I mean, we kiss like boyfriend/girlfriend, and we hold hands when we walk anywhere, but sometimes when we talk it's more like I'm talking to a girlfriend than a boyfriend."

"Gee, this may be easier than I thought."

"Excuse me?"

"Lydia, there's something about Alex that I need to tell you before he comes in. But it sounds like you might have it figured out already. The main thing is, however, that you promise to keep secret what I tell you and what you see."

"Secret?" There was obvious confusion in her voice.

"I want to share some information about Alex that needs to be kept secret. If it gets out to anyone, lives can be ruined. I guess what I'm looking for is a promise that you won't tell what you are about to find out."

"How can I promise that without knowing what you're talking about?"

"I guess that's fair. It's just that I . . . we . . . can't be too careful."

Aunt Shirley was wonderful. She was doing her darndest to protect me, but it wasn't her fight, so to speak. So I didn't wait for the que. I simply stood, straightened my dress, and charged through the doorway. "What she's talking about is my desire to be a girl."

Lydia's mouth dropped open, Shirley's hand came to her forehead as she turned away and mumbled something under her breath, and I didn't wait for any more response than that. "Lydia, I have spent my entire life trying to be a boy. I've done everything I could to prove that I was a boy. But it didn't work. From my earliest memories I have wanted to be a girl, and now I have decided to become one forever. But you have been my best friend and that's what I want you to be now. I know that's gotta sound really weird to you, but as far as I'm concerned Alex is gone to Florida and I'm here in his place."

Now I was nervous, really nervous. I stood there staring into her eyes, wishing she would say something, anything, when finally I noticed her mouth closing. "I need you to be my best friend now more than ever," I pleaded as her mouth closed the rest of the way. Then she shook her head quickly, closed her eyes, and turned her face toward the floor.

"Alex, or whoever you think you are now . . . ."

"Alexis. But call me Lexi."

She raised her head and looked me straight in the eye. "Lexi, I'm not sure I'm ready for something like this. I've never even imagined something like this. But I won't turn my back on you either. I think I'd better go home and think about this one." She turned toward the door, then spun back toward me and blurted out, "This has got to be the weirdest thing you have ever done, Alex, . . . er, Lexi, . . . whoever you are." Then she continued out the door without even glancing back. But I watched her shadow cross the porch and stop. She didn't leave. She turned right and sat in the porch swing where I had spent some time with David a couple of days earlier.

Then I noticed Aunt Shirley turning toward me. "What did you do that for? I mean, of all the lame things to do."

"I had to, Aunt Shirley. I listened to you sidestepping the issue and realized that I had always been straight forward honest with her and decided she deserved the truth about this as well."

"Yeah, so look what your truth has done for you now. She's probably telling everybody she meets on the street. Why, she's probably told half the . . . ."

"She's still on the porch."

"What?" She paused and just stared at me.

"She's still on the porch. She's on the porch swing."

Shirley said nothing. She just stared at me in disbelief.

"She just needs some time to mull it over in her mind. Then I'll go talk to her and she'll be Lexi's best friend in no time."

"You think so?"

"I do."

She stared at me a moment longer, then started to laugh nervously and said, "I guess you must know her better than I thought was possible."

"We were meant to be best friends. She'll realize that in a minute, then she'll wanna talk."

"I guess. But . . . ."

And at that point she was interrupted by the opening of the front door. "Lexi, I guess I've known you were supposed to be a girl for a long time. I just didn't think it would ever happen. So now what do we do?"

She looked at me, then at Aunt Shirley, then back at me. Aunt Shirley hurried over and ushered her into the living room where we could talk. I told her everything, and Shirley clarified the things I forgot to include.

Lydia said nothing till we were through, then asked, "Will I get to say goodbye to Alex?"

"I guess you could call him. But he won't be back again."

"Then I guess I'll call him. Has Lexi been out in public yet?"

"Not only that," Shirley chimed in, "but Lexi even has a job at Jean's Dress Shop." Then Shirley paused for a moment, staring back and forth at the two of us till finally, in a subdued tone, she added, "Maybe I should just let the two of you talk by yourselves for a while." With that she got up from her chair and left the room. My eyes fell immediately on my new best friend. I could feel it inside and was confident that everything in my life would turn out just fine.

But before Lydia said a word, she slid over beside me, put her hand on the back of my neck and pulled me to her. Our lips met in a short, albeit passionate kiss, unlike any she had ever given me before. Then she pulled away.

"That was for Alex." She blushed, a bit darker with each word. "I just needed to say goodbye and wish him the best in his new endeavor."

"I'll be sure to let him know how you feel." And with each word I was sure I too was blushing. And I was also sure that I would never taste Lydia's lips again, or be close enough to smell the faint scent she wore behind her ears and on her neck.

"I should probably go home, Lexi, but I'm looking forward to this friendship. You can count on me to keep the secret. And tomorrow maybe I can start introducing you to all of Alex's old friends. Do you think they'll notice the resemblence at all?"

"David didn't."

"David's seen you like this?"

"Not only did he see me, he sat on the porch with me and then stole a kiss."

Lydia giggled, just a little, then said, "That could be blackmale info in some circles. How did he kiss?"

"I'm not sure, really. I wasn't exactly expecting it."

"Well you'd better start expecting it, Alexis Lynn. You are one very attractive young lady who is going to turn more heads than just David's."

Again I felt blood rush to my cheeks, all while the corners of my mouth turned up in an uncontrolable, innocent smile.

Next morning I was up early for an electrolosis apointment. Aunt Shirley was helping in ways I did not completely understand, but she was so right about it all. Said she didn't want me to have to learn everything the hard way like she did. "Somebody might as well benefit from my experience."

So for two hours I sat in an operator's chair while he permanently removed a huge portion of my beard, one hair at a time, and there are thousands of hairs in a man's beard. She released me at ten, reminding me that my next appointment would be Monday at the same time.

I smiled a thank you, then hurried home with Shirley where I shaved the remaining hairs as close as possible, then rubbed in the cream my aunt had purchased for me. "This will help you heal faster," she said.

It burned going on, but she said it would feel cool and refreshing in a matter of minutes. She was right again, so I hurried and got dressed for my outing with Lydia. She would be home all day, so we'd have some time together before I had to be at work.

She picked me up right away and we raced to the mall in her little Toyota. She parked near Jean's and before we were inside the mall we'd run into two guys from school. I knew them both as jocks and had always been annoyed with their arrogance. But this time they were more reserved than I had ever seen them.

Randy spoke first, saying hi to Lydia and kinda hinting for an introduction.

"This is Alexis. She's Alex Montgomery's cousin from Florida."

Lydia sounded so calm and confident. I was shaking like a leaf, scared near to death that they might figure out that Alexis and Alex were the same person. But they didn't have a clue. Before I knew it we were at the food court, sharing tacos and sodas that Randy and Richard had bought for us. I tried to stay with the conversation, but I was so self conscious of everything that I worried myself sick.

Richard must not have noticed, however, and before I knew it he was holding my hand as we strolled slowly past all the shops. He was flirting with me and I was merely trying to stay on my feet without falling over. As three o'clock neared I realized that I was actually liking the attention, and that Richard wasn't the idiot I (Alex) thought her was. So I asked him to turn and walk me back to Jean's, then I pulled a blue pen from my purse and wrote my name and phone number on his wrist and put a heart around it.

He stared at it a moment, then asked, "How late can I call?"

"Between 9:30 and 11:30 tonight." Then, without thinking, I went up on my tip toes and kissed him on the cheek. As I pulled away I realized that I'd left a pink lip print and said, "Better wash that off before your girlfriend sees it."

"I don't have a girlfriend." I could tell he spoke before thinking or he would have wanted to preserve the masculine aura that had so bothered my male self.

But with a sly wink, and in a tender, whispery voice I said, "You do now." I turned and hurried off to work, but caught his reflection in a store window, pumping a fist and spinning on one foot. "He likes me," I mumbled to nobody in particular. Then a little more clearly, "Richard likes Alexis Lynn," and I felt my smile grow from ear to ear.

Work was eye opening, to say the least. Women would ask for things I'd never seen or even heard of, things that were not part of my birthday present. Then they wanted dresses that would lift their boobs, or show off their boobs, or shrink their butts, or hide their thick arms, flabby thighs, or whatever else needed hiding or fixing. One girl came in about my size and coloring and rooted around till she found a dress that looked stunning on her. It made her waist look smaller, her breasts look fuller, and her hips look more shapely.

As a guy I wouldn't have believed that the cut of a dress could do so much to make a woman look better. Once she saw her reflection in the mirror, she smiled and said, "I'll take it." Then she turned to me and asked, "Can I just wear it? And put my other things in the bag?"

"Sure."

She got her things from the dressing room, paid for the dress, then turned and hugged me for being such a help. "Are you still in school?" she asked. "You look like you could be about my age."

"I turned sixteen this week, I just moved from Florida, and as soon as my records get here I'll be a sophomore at Central."

"How weird. I just moved from Denver, but I'm taking a week off before enrolling at Central. I'm a sophomore too." She rooted in her purse for a pen and paper, wrote her name and phone number on it, then said, "Call me." With that she disappeared. I looked at the paper and read Alexis Adams and her number, which was the same as mine, except for the last diget. How weird is that?

On my break I found a dress just like Alexis had bought, but in a different color, and tried it on. I looked horrible in it. I should have looked as good as she did, but I looked horrible.

Jean caught me making faces in front of the mirror and laughed softly as she came to my rescue. "Lexi, even though you and your last customer have pretty much the same figure, there are a few slight differences that make this dress work for her and not for you. Go ahead and take that off. I'll be right back with the perfect dress for you."

I returned to the dressing room, took off the dress and hung it back on the hanger. Just then Jean called my name, so I opened the door a crack and in came a dress I never would have looked at a second time. "Thank you." I tried to sound enthusiastic, but never was very good at lying. I did put the dress on, however, and stepped hesitantly from the dressing room to model it for Jean.

She flashed a smile and immediately told me how beautiful it looked on me. I had my doubts, but when I turned and saw myself in the mirror I couldn't believe the transformation. I looked stunning.

"Come with me." Jean grabbed my arm and lead the way back onto the sales floor. "I want you to meet the newest member of our sales staff. She starts in about five minutes." And suddenly there I was face to face with Alexis Adams, in her new dress. "Alexis, meet Alexis." Then, after a giggle, "Or should I say, Alex, meet Lexi?"

This time we giggled. Standing in our new dresses, we admired each other for a moment, then Jean hustled us off to take care of our numerous duties.

When Aunt Shirley brought me home that night she said that her friend in Florida called and that everything would be in the mail on Monday. She also said I should be able to get my learner's permit by the end of the week, provided everything goes as planned there also. But she didn't tell me one more thing I would have loved to know. Instead she kept silent.

So I got out of the car, walked in the front door, and suddenly found myself in the arms of my mother. She was hugging me like she'd never seen me before. I guess she hadn't. She left Alex to watch the house and was returning to Lexi, the 16-year-old daughter she never knew she had.

As quickly as she had grabbed me she shoved me away with the words, "Let me look at you." She mumbled some motherly words of delight, told me I was absolutely beautiful and said how I would be getting the attention of every boy in the school. Without hesitation she laced elbows with me and took two step toward the living room, but Dad came out before we could go in.

"Alex," he shouted before throwing his arms around me and kissing me on the cheek. "How is my pretty little daughter?"

"Oh, Dad, this has been the best birthday ever. I always thought I wanted to be a girl, but now I know. That's all I want in the whole wide world."

"I guess if that's what makes you happy we will help in every way we can." He seemed quite matter-of-fact in his comment, not really looking me in the eye, not smiling. Then he dumped his true feelings on me. "I just don't understand this fascination with being something you aren't."

I reached over to his chin, raised it gently till his eyes came up and met mine. "That's just it, Dad. The fascination is in becoming something that all my life I have known I was supposed to be. My earliest memories go back to you and Mom telling me I was a boy when I knew that I was really a girl. Then you showed me, or told me, the differences between boys and girl and that only confused me. I wondered why I had boy parts.

"Then when all the girls in junior high started growing bumps on their chests I wondered when mine would start growing. But they didn't. I don't know what happened when I was in the womb to make me come out wrong, but now I have the opportunity to fix a really big mistake and I want to fix it."

"And you came to this conclusion all by yourself? You weren't coerced by my bro . . . sister?"

"No, Dad. I didn't have a clue about Aunt Shirley until last week, and thank goodness Mom helped me find out about her. She has helped me through some really tough times that would have taken years without her help. Now I have a job, I have confidence in my feminine self, and I have the chance to go back to my old school as my very own cousin from Florida. Alex is taking care of grandparents in Florida and Lexi, that's me, came here to live while he's down there. Thing is, he's never coming back."

About then Mom put her arm around his neck, pulled him close and kissed him on the side of his face. Dad would be okay with my decision, even though he acted disappointed right then. He always wanted a football or basketball player, so I would have disappointed him anyway. The NFL and NBA just don't have may positions for skinny, short whimps. My body always was closer to the petite size of a girl.

"Alex . . . um, Lexi, I know I don't sound too excited about the whole thing. It's going to take some getting used to. But I promise you I will support you in every way I can. I just ask one thing in return."

I was silent, but my eyes asked the "What?" question anyway.

"After your surgery, which I'm sure you will be getting, and when you fall in love, I want the privilege of walking my daughter down the isle at her wedding."

"I can't imagine anyone else doing that honor."

"Good. So when can you get the surgery?"

"I can get breasts any time, but the rest of it has to be after my eighteenth birthday, and after I've been living as a girl for more than a year."

"Okay. Better make an appointment with Shirley's plastic surgeon and let's make those breasts as real as possible."

"It's not that simple. Shirley says that things have changed in recent years and now they give you a bunch of hormones first. I'll take some kind of testosterone blockers to nullify my male hormones, and simultaneously I'll take female hormones and begin to grow my own boobs. They say that after six to twelve months I will have the same size boobs as Mom. Within about two weeks I will no longer have to worry about having an erection when I'm arroused sexually."

"So you prefer waiting a year to having instant, silicone boobs?"

"Of course."

"And you're doing all this hormone stuff under a doctor's care?"

"Yes, Daddy."

He pulled back a little and stared at me over the rim of his glasses when I called him Daddy. But he smiled, so I added, "You'd better get used to me sounding like a girl because that's exactly what I am. From now on I am your little girl, baby girl, and daughter. And one more thing . . . ."

"Yes?"

"Get used to the idea of me bringing . . . boys home to meet Mom and Dad."

Again he was silent, this time for nearly a minute. "I guess that's to be expected. Just make sure they're nice boys. And they have to come to the door, you know, the old fashioned way. If they sit in their car and honk, you don't get to leave."

"Deal!" I smiled and kissed him on the cheek, then felt myself blush a little as I noticed once again that I had deposited a pink lip print. At least Mom would know where it came from.

I got up and walked into the other room where I thanked Aunt Shirley for everything she'd done.

"Looks like you've got my brother on you side. That's good. It took me years to get through that thick skin of his."

"Yeah, I got through to him. But that's only because you blazed the trail already. Thanks so much for that too. I would hate to lose my father. I love him too much to have him going against me now."

"Lookie here, Kitten." She'd never called me that before, but I kinda liked it. "We've got a very full day tomorrow. You say good night to Mom and Dad and head for bed. I'll be by about seven-thirty."

"I'll be ready."

Shirley left, so I told Mom and Dad I was heading to bed. Half way up the stairs I realized Mom was following me, but I kept going anyway.

Inside my room I sat down at the mirror and started taking off the makeup with makeup removal pads. I put my jewelry away, and realized the Mom had been in the doorway watching the whole ordeal. I wanted my privacy before I disrobed, but figured she would have to see what was going on eventually or she would drive me crazy, so I undressed down to bra and panties. At that she lost her courage and turned away. I guess she didn't really want to know how much I looked like a girl underneath the clothes, so I hurried and changed into my nighty as quickly as possible.

"Mom."

"Yes, Dear?"

"I'm a girl now. Just like you're a girl . . . sorta. I really don't care if you watch."

"Look, Lexi. I know that everything you have right now might look real, but I'd rather wait to see it when it is real. I'll look at your breasts when you have grown breasts, and I'll look at your other female parts after the surgeons have fashioned real looking female parts from your male parts two years from now. I'd rather be patient than look at artificial padding."

"Sounds good to me." I smiled at her, then added, "And thanks for all the girl things. This has been my best birthday ever. I think it's the first time my blow-out-the-candles wish has come true."

"Oh! What did you wish for?"

"To be a girl. For as far back as I can remember I have wished to be a girl. I'm not sure how you knew, but you did, and that's all that matters. I love you, Mom. I really and truly love you lots."

  

  

  

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