Crystal's StorySite
storysite.org

This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and possibly sex. If you are legally not allowed to read materials containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading this. I am not responsible. Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish, state, and country.

 

Bob

In the Beginning

by Maddy Bell

 

How I ended up like this I'm not entirely sure. I suppose I had better explain 'this', well I am currently suspended a metre off the floor of the cellar wearing a few bits of pink latex and a variety of leather restraints, my breasts ache and every time I move, my braids whack me in the eye! Now I'm not really complaining but perhaps I should tell you a bit more about me. I'm single, fairly pleasant to look at, just coming up to thirty five and my names Bob Thornton - now do you see the catch?

Perhaps I had better start at the beginning - once upon a time there was a computer specialist named Bob Thornton. Now Bob was good at his job but like many others in the industry he had little social life, a few beers with the guys in the office once a week and trade shows just about sums things up. Bob knew this was the life of a nerd, but what could he do to change it? After all he worked long hours, often well into the night and party animal he was not. Still, he vowed to change his hermit like ways, he was owed over six months' leave and so he hatched a plan for a long vacation during which he would get a life.

One thing he did decide was that he would head out east but beyond that he would see where things took him. Although he had an enviable bank balance he drove an ageing Pacer, you know those turtle shaped things AMC put out in the seventies. Well he loaded it up, filled it with gas and headed out of Silicon Valley on a typical hot California morning.

I won't bore you with the detail but over the next few weeks, Bob drove many hundreds of miles and soaked up more culture for sale than anyone had a right. Despite meeting some interesting people, some disreputable people and a good many ordinary folks, that defining moment of change still eluded him. Somehow he ended up in a bar in New England and decided to get rat arsed so to speak. Now the bar was nothing unusual, typical small town – booths around the walls, a small stage in one corner and a bar along one wall. Bob was a Bud man and he soon had several empties on the table in front of him, it was about this time that he noticed the activity around the tiny stage.

Turns out it was music night, Bob quite enjoyed a bit of rock or even some country so he eased his drinking back a bit so he could listen. The turn was obviously a local favourite, the bar was filling quickly with 20 something's and soon the place was humming with expectation. Well Bob was not to be disappointed, the group, three guys and two girls, were excellent running covers of Twain, Crow, Vega, some other stuff he had heard on the radio with a bonus of some of their own writing which tended a bit more to European tastes.

Beer almost forgotten, he was soon bopping away with the rest of the clientele. All good things have to end and this gig was no exception, they finished off with a rendition of Vega's 99.9 Fahrenheit. After that he was less depressed than when he arrived. Things got rapidly even better, the two girls came over to his table.

'Hi, mind if we join ya?'

'Er no, sure, be my guests'

'I'm Shandy and this is'

'Mary Anne'

'Er, Bob'

'Well er Bob, nice to meet you'

He knew it was corny but he couldn't help himself,

'Pleasures all mine' cringe 'I really enjoyed the gig'

'We could see that from up there, you were nearly getting embarrassing'

'Oh, sorry – I always end up like that when I'm enjoying myself, result – I don't go out too often. Er would you girls like a drink?'

'Our shout, you can get the next one'

Bobs heart leaped, there was to be a social situation with two self invited, good looking girls and what's more it would last at least two rounds, unless he mucked up.

 

Well just for a change Bob didn't muck up, one drink became two became three and several more besides. The evening ended with an agreement to meet after the following nights gig in the next town. Despite the hangover, Bob remembered his date – perhaps his luck was about to change. He spent the day mooching about before heading over to the gig.

The gig was better on a clearer head, he tried to contain himself with the dancing bit but heck, and he was having fun! He already had the drinks lined up by the time Mary Anne and Shandy found him in a rear booth. Being a bit more coherent allowed more sensible conversation. After a couple of drinks Shandy broke into his ramblings.

'Bob, how'd you like to visit with me and Mary tonite'

'You sure girls?' he looked from one to the other

'Wouldna said if we weren't, we bin talking today and we'd both like for you to come over'

Bob needed little more encouragement than that.

'OK, I'd enjoy that'

'Fine, finish up – you can follow us back home, that way no one leaves their wheels behind' there was a strange intonation to that but Bob missed it.

They left the bar, the girls in their pickup; the Pacer following along behind, the drive took best part of an hour before they pulled off the highway onto a dirt road. Another five minutes and they pulled up in front of a fair sized house, from what he could see, it looked to be in some need of repair outside. There were no lights on but an ageing Mercury was parked by the garage.

 

'Ok Bob?' Shandy caught his attention

'Yeah sure. Just admiring the homestead'

'Neat huh? Mary Anne's parents left it her when they died a while back; we've made a few changes but it mostly suits'

'Come on you two, it's turning cold out there'

They joined Mary Anne inside, where Bob was escorted to the lounge room.

'Won't be long, we're just gonna change out of this gig stuff – there's beer in the cooler by the bookcase'

'Sure'

A beer sounded great, turned out to be Grolsch, not a bad brew, he settled into an armchair to await his two hostesses'. Well their definition of not long was a bit different to his but for Bob the wait was worth it. Shandy came in first wearing some kind of leather outfit with stiletto heeled boots, Mary Anne followed shortly after wearing what amounted to some kinky underwear – corset, stockings, g-string and a pair of heels which in that outfit really accentuated her long legs. Bob's eyes were on stalks, and that wasn't all!

'How's Bob now?'

'Er fine girls, what's with the gear?'

'Oh we always wear this kind a stuff at home, thought you might appreciate it too.'

'No complaints here, you got anything to eat? I'm starved'

'Sure I'll make sandwiches while Mary Anne looks after you'

'Are you comfortable Bob?'

'Yeah Mary Anne, you two sure surprised me just now, don't take this the wrong way but last time I saw girls dressed like that was in a dodgy bar on a stag night, and I had to pay for the privilege.'

Mary was unfazed by that admission

'Who said you're not paying this time' she broke into giggles.

Shandy came back with a plate of sandwiches that they all dived into, some easy music was put on and the three of them chilled out with more Grolsch. At some point the girls guided their prey to a bedroom and sleep, which for Bob came easily this night.

 

'Ok big boy – time to earn your keep'

'Eh?'

'Come on sleepy, out of bed'

He recognised Mary Anne's voice and heard her walk off. Bob roused himself and dressed, by following the sounds of the radio blaring, he found his way to the kitchen and the two girls.

'Er morning girls'

'Morning Bob' they both chorused, which caused a laughing session.

'Coffee?'

'Er sure'

Shandy passed him a cup,

'You want to hang around awhile?'

'Well I've nothing I'm rushing to. So yeah sure why not'

'Great we were hoping you would. Do you mind helping with a few chores?'

'Sure'

 

So it was that Bob found himself doing some minor repair work around the house and it has to be said enjoying doing it. The girls were great fun to be with, Bob found himself daydreaming of being about doing odd jobs but most importantly being around Shandy and Mary Anne. Well one day turned into two, he couldn't believe his luck, soon he had been at the girls house a week – no sex or even mention of it but a couple more excellent gigs and a real relaxing time.

 

 

 

'You fancy a bit of good ol' fun, Bob?' Shandy asked one afternoon

'Sure, what ya got in mind?'

'I know it sounds a bit pre-teen girlie, but dressing up'

Bob recalled some of the girl's previous costumes and thought that it might well be fun.

'Sure, why not'

'One condition Bob, no arguing, I'm gonna treat you like a full size doll, agreed?'

Well why not.

'Ok Shandy, I'm yours till supper'

'Breakfast!'

'Ok breakfast. Until 8am tomorrow I'm your full size Barbie doll'

Well it could have been worse – possibly.

 

'Ok Mary Anne won't be back till around six so that gives us four hours to get you into some sort of order. You ok if I shave you?'

Bob wasn't really sure what she meant but gave his assent.

'Right then, we'll start with a bath then I'll shave you.'

'Ok'

Shandy ran a hot tub and Bob found himself soaking in a pool of honeysuckle scented water. He luxuriated for a few minutes before Shandy came in to start the shaving. With consummate skill she cleared his face of whiskers, then quickly de-haired his pits.

'Hmm, how's your pain threshold?'

'Er so – so'

'Get yourself dried off here' she handed him a robe 'put this on and I'll wax the rest'

'Rest of what?'

'Legs and stuff silly, how many hairy dolls you seen?'

'Is it really necessary? I mean it's only for a few hours.'

'What you suddenly chicken. Us girls have to do this all the time, if you are so fixed on hair it will grow back in a few weeks. So do I get the wax or not'

Put like that he couldn't wimp out – it was something of a challenge she had put to him.

'Fetch your stuff I 'spose. In for a penny I guess'

To give him credit he didn't yell too much and with practised ease Shandy had all his body hair removed except his pubes which she trimmed and carefully shaved to leave just a small triangular thatch. He was amazed just how good it felt. He always appreciated girl's smooth skin and now he could appreciate the whole thing from the inside so to speak – even the pain of maintaining it.

'Well don't we look the smoothie now. I have to admit it's not usually that much work but you were virgin hair. If it's done regular it stays away longer and it hurts less – honest.'

'I'll believe you, not that I intend to find out. What's next?'

'Hair next, then we'll get you a girlie body.'

'I don't want to know how you are going to do that, but lets get on with it.'

 

Shandy didn't need long to re style Bob's hair to a head of bouncy curls using tongs and half a can of lacquer. Next Bob was introduced to some latex underwear, no ordinary stuff but thick and flesh toned. Shandy, the tormentor, took charge of the fitting and Bob watched as she expertly twisted his manhood about and pulled the pants up. When he looked in the mirror his business equipment was pretty much hidden and he appeared to have girls equipment instead with his own trimmed pubes.

Next she fitted him with breasts, which were glued in place with spirit gum. By the time Shandy had finished off with plastiskin, Bob would be the first to attest to their reality even down to crinkly nipples.

'Not much more now, just a bit of tidying and make up'

' Well get on then'

'Ok, nails first'

Soon Bob sported crimson toenails and matching false fingernails, they seemed like talons to Bob but were in reality still quite short in girlie terms. She then 'tidied' his eyebrows a bit and then painted his face. When she showed him the result he didn't recognise himself at all. It was truly a girl looking back at him – gently arching brows, long lashes, full carmine lips and subtle use of blusher and eye makeup - he felt like asking himself out!

'Soo Bobbie, what do you think?'

'I think I better not go out like this. Seriously, I can't believe its me.'

'Well it is you and we need to get you dressed before Mary Anne gets here. We'll start with some ordinary stuff then later well play around a bit with Mary Anne.'

'Lead on McDuff'

 

Shandy helped him put on a bustier and then matching pants and suspender belt, then gave instruction in putting on the black silk stockings. Well they felt soo good on his smooth legs he couldn't believe it. The underwear was topped off with one of Shandy's dresses – a sleeveless, body hugging jersey thing that fell to mid thigh. Finishing touch was a pair of strappy sandals, Bob teetered on the, for him, high heels (they were only 2"s).

 

'Da Dar. Finished.'

 

Shandy insisted on taking some photos and afterward gave him some tips on ladylike walking and such. He'd always been a quick study so he was soon a more than passable girl in most respects apart from his voice.

'Here, swallow this, it'll change your voice for a few hours.'

He took the proffered capsule and now he had gone this far he popped it in without hesitation. As it dissolved he felt his throat constricting, not uncomfortably, but in fact quite nicely. Whatever it did, it raised the pitch of his voice to a girlie squeak.

'There Bobbie, now anyone would take you for a girl'

He was fascinated by his new voice.

'I wont ask how you knew how to do all this stuff,' he indicated his breasts,' but I'm impressed. It's the first time I've worn any girl's clothes ever and I actually look like I ought to be wearing them. I'll go as far as to say I'm a bit turned on by it.'

'Oh good, I just knew you would be. Most men hide their feminine side but with a bit of encouragement….' She let the sentence hang.

 

Mary Anne got back from her errand and seemed to expect his appearance.

'Hi girls, I'm back. My, Bobby you do look nice tonite'

'Thanks Mary Anne' he squeaked

Although saying nothing, Mary Anne gave Shandy a meaningful look. Shandy put in then

' Bobby wants to play dress up after supper Mary Anne, you want to join in?'

'Sure Shandy, what's to eat?'

 

'What do ya think Mary Anne? We have our dolly till the morning, start with some straight stuff and the kink later?'

'Yeah Shandy, that sounds good. You ready Bobby?'

'I promised, so play.'

The girls needed no second invite. They seemed to have an infinite wardrobe but they started slowly with the classic cheerleader gear, photos were obligatory and the new girl on the block started to relax a bit. Next they squeezed him into a pair of Shandy's jeans, shod him with some 4" heeled ankle boots and a sexy halter. They were keenly watching his reactions and when one of them suggested some outside shots he relented, after the entire farm was pretty remote.

They went through more costume changes until the light started to go.

'Ok girlfriend, you ready for some action?'

'Sure.'

'Come on then.'

They led their plaything through the house to a door Bob had thought just a cupboard. Inside steps led down to a second cellar which seemed to contain an old table and assorted junk.

'Time for some real fun'

'Over here Bobby. Up on the table'

Wondering what was going on he/she perched on the table edge.

'Lets get you naked'

The two women soon had him stripped of clothing.

'Fancy a bit of bondage Bobby?'

He didn't get much chance to reply as Mary Anne deftly cuffed his ankles while Shandy pulled his arms behind him and did his wrists.

'Wha?'

'Oh sorry, Shandy the gag.'

A rubber ball gag was pulled into his maw and strapped tightly in place.

'Don't worry we wont hurt you – too much. Up on your feet'

Helpless to do much more than agree he followed the instruction.

Between them, the girls fitted a rubber corset about him that they pulled in until he could only gasp breath around the gag.

'Relax, you won't suffocate, now turn round.'

Shandy deftly fitted a rubber strip between his legs, which was buckled to the corset front and back. Mary Anne then unshackled his ankles before fitting his silky smooth legs in fine nylon stockings before re-locking his hobble in place. These were in turn attached to eight rubber garters now attached to the corset. His upper body was then fitted with a tight rubber bustier, which had cut outs at each nipple to leave them exposed. Lastly his feet were fitted into some tall stilettos which were locked in place by small padlocks on the ankle straps.

'Come on Bobby, back upstairs for some pictures.'

'Hmmm!'

'Well take it slowly, we'll help on the stairs'

 

It took long minutes but he was finally on the porch. Shandy used a length of chain to tether him and both women went back inside. He stood in the cooling evening air for what seemed like forever before his tormentors returned. No longer attired in day clothes they were each wearing very revealing bondage costumes – high heels, rubber, leather chains and straps. The tableau was moved out into the yard where the girls took turns with the camera and flash gear. Bob was forced to pose in sometimes-painful positions for an hour before a now quite exhausted boy/girl was led to a post and securely shackled there.

'We'll be back in the morning'

How did I get into this? I'll leave as soon as I can tomorrow. But this, this is… urr. Well he did eventually drop into a sleep of sorts.

 

He awoke to the sound of a vehicle retreating down the drive. A bit disorientated at first he came too in a hurry when he realised he was still clad in rubber and tied to a post in the yard.

'Shit Bob, the postman comes up to the farm so rarely, he had to pick today' there was real concern in Shandy's voice, 'come on lets get you back inside'

She unlocked him and helped him back to the house before removing the gag.

'What in heavens name did you think you were doing? I went along with your little game but I didn't sign up for total humiliation!'

Mary Anne came in then

'Well hello to you too gorgeous'

Bob was thrown off balance a bit by her comment

'Er good morning Mary Anne, but I'm still really pissed off.' His voice was deeper than last night but was still very much girlie; the others couldn't help but break into hysterics.

'When you've quite done, I want to get out of this stuff, I'm going back to town'

'Don't go Bob, I know you enjoyed most of it and perhaps everything till the postie came, please stay, pleeese?'

He had to admit that for the most part it had been fun, and yes it was mostly that someone else had seen him that really pissed him off. And well, he didn't really want to return to his boring life too soon.

'Ok but no more stunts like that.'

The girls replied in chorus

'Ok Bob'

'Er Bob can I kiss you' Shandy looked like she had a bad case of the hots

'Bit formal after last night isn't it. I'm yours to kiss!'

The ensuing fifteen minutes were spent with all three 'girls' rolling about in a kissing frenzy. When they finally separated Shandy suggested breakfast; Mary Anne suggested getting dressed. With thoughts of departure gone, Bob was dressed in a loose frock and strappy sandals before he thought what he was doing.

'Thought you were in a hurry to be Mr Bob gorgeous?'

'Well it didn't seem appropriate'

'What you really mean is that you like being Bobbie?'

'Ok guess so'

'Bobbie today, Bob tomorrow?'

'Yeah ok'

Well that was that settled, another full day of bra, panties and nylon encased legs before returning to mundane life.

 

It felt a bit strange next day when Shandy removed 'his' breasts and released his member from confinement. Odder still to put his own clothes back on with his still smooth body, he felt somehow only half dressed.

Things returned to 'normal' escorting the girls to gigs, a bit of farm work – generally having a good time. A couple of weeks passed before the 'girlie' session was mentioned again, in fact it was that same postman delivering the photos that brought the subject up. The three of them went through the pictures and Bob realised he was getting an erection seeing himself as a girl and reliving the experience. So it was in fact Bob who broached the subject.

'Urm, girls? Er how do you feel about a sort of repeat session?'

'Bob we thought you'd never ask!'

'That obvious eh'

'Sure is, when shall we do it?'

'Tomorrow?'

'We've a gig tomorrow, but I guess if you feel up to it we could work that'

Shit thought Bob; I've backed myself into a hole here haven't i.

'Guess we could see how I feel'

'Ok, tomorrow then. How's your hairiness?'

'A bit itchy to be honest'

'Right, tonite we prep you, legs an' stuff, in the morning Shandy will work her magic'

 

After another, less painful waxing session and a good nights sleep, Shandy fitted him with breasts and did her biz with his todger. By mid morning Bob was again Bobbie wearing rock chick denims and with her hair in short braids and after the magic pills a high voice.

 

'I've an idea Bobbie, why don't you join us on stage as backing?'

'You have got to be jesting'

'No straight up. You sing real nice, you know the words and with that voice you sound real sweet'

'Get off you soft pair'

'No straight, look try the chorus on this'

Shandy's finger turned the tape deck on and Bobbie found herself somewhat nervously singing the chorus.

'Oh yeah'

'Terrific Bobbie'

'Oh come on you'll enjoy yourself, we'll sort out a stage costume, the others won't mind, we've had girlfriends join in before'

'Real girls?'

'Of course, you're our first ever changeling!'

'Come on Bobbie'

'Against my best conscience I'll do it'

'Whayyyy'

 

Well in the end I did enjoy my fifteen minutes of fame. I wore a short beaded frock that had a built in corset to give me a bit more shape without restricting me too much. The girls were well chuffed and the rest of the band seemed OK with it too.

 

I had intended going back to work the following week, but I found myself enjoying myself too much to just end this so quickly. One quick call and my leave was extended by another month. I spent a fair bit of that as Bobbie; I did another couple of gigs with Shandy and Mary Anne and found myself seriously considering staying there. But reality kicked in and the two girls waved me off, me promising to return soon.

 

Work was better than I remembered and soon I was engrossed in my processors and chips again. The invite came two weeks before Thanksgiving, the girls wanted me to spend the holiday with them, they were doing some gigs in Nevada and thought it would be fun to get together for a few days. Call me old fashioned but I didn't need asking twice, I had a flight booked before lunch and was already counting the days.

Since returning west I had kept my body fairly hair free, I found I liked that although I hadn't gone so far as wearing any girlie stuff. I made a big effort the night before my flight, I knew the girls liked me smooth and I didn't want to disappoint them. They met me at the gate, boy were they a sight for sore eyes, and waiting for me, I know I got some envious looks. It was in the gate that Shandy broached the question.

'Er Bob, we're a bit short of backing tonite, you don't fancy being Bobbie? Please'

I was not entirely surprised but I was a bit taken aback.

'Whoa girls, I'm not sure that's a good idea'

'Why not?' Mary Anne put in.

'Erm, well it would take hours to get me ready and besides I might get to like being Bobbie'

'Can't see any problems then'

'What?'

'Well the gig is hours away, and we always bring the stuff. Secondly we like you as Bobbie and you did enjoy it last time round, so no problem'

'Put in those terms I don't have an argument do I?'

'Nope' they both chorused.

 

The hours to get ready were only three, it felt odd wearing the panties and bra again but by the time I had Bobbies voice I was quite comfortable with myself. As the girls were doing a sort of mini tour they had gotten some stage costumes made and I was soon clad in a revealing sheer dress and stilettos. Enjoy myself, that would be putting it mildly, the gig was great and afterward we got totally sloshed and ended up all in one motel bed, very giggly indeed.

Morning came round.

'Bobbie you getting up sugar?'

'Hmpf'

'Come on sugar, we gotta drive to Reno this morning'

'Not Bobbie, Bob'

'No time for all that, take these' Shandy handed me a couple of what I thought were aspirin which I swallowed easily. 'Now no arguments, put these on' a bunch of panties, bra dress and shoes landed on me.

Call me a coward, call me queer, but I did as I was bid and I joined the others in the breakfast bar. I obviously look the part, no one blinked an eye when Bobbie came in. I realised that I still had Bobbie's voice but by now I was Bobbie. Well to cut a long story short Bobbie spent the entire vacation with the girls, Bob didn't get a look in until it was time to fly home.

 

I suppose it was after that trip that I started wearing women's underwear. It was a subconscious thing really, I'd find myself in Wal-Mart checking out the scanties, selecting 'my size', mumbling something about 'stupid things you're asked to fetch' at the checkout and having to try them all on when I got back to my apartment. I was soon the proud owner of a drawer full of lingerie and a bathroom full of depilatories and girlie scents. By the time I flew east for the Christmas vacation I was expecting two weeks of Bobbie, I was not disappointed.

 

As we spent the holiday at the farm, I ended up in rubber once or twice; the girls were really quite into that stuff. The girls were really chuffed that I now wore girl's undies all the time and my hair removal routine meant preparation was much quicker. Wearing the knickers without my tackle in the way was quite a liberation and I was so used to Bobbie's voice that when Bob's returned it was quite a jolt. Well it couldn't last forever, Shandy packed my bags and the girls dropped me at the airport.

When I got home I discovered that Shandy had sent a couple of frocks over in my luggage, well still on a bit of a high I had to try them on didn't I? Without my false bosoms I used a couple of rolled up socks and the result was ok if not up to 'walking out' standard. I decided to obtain my own falsies not really thinking of the consequences.

What actually happened was this:

 

Ring, ring.

'Hello Shandy'

'Hi bob'

'Can you tell me where I can get some falsies?'

'Sure, I'll just get the address'

'Cheers'

Short wait later

'I don't have a mail address but I got a net address, that ok?'

'Great'

'It's ************. com'

'Fantastic, thanks a lot Shandy'

'Bye Bobbie'

'Bye Shandy'

Click

 

I checked out the web site and instead of a pair of falsies I ordered a course of feminising supplements and some he-girl pants. What was I doing? My girlie wardrobe grew, shoes, skirts, dresses, blouses even make up and hair accessories. I managed to keep my new found TV self secret at work, perhaps the Wal-Mart guys might have been having a snigger though. I launched into the course of supplements and after a couple of weeks I could actually see some changes. By the time I met the girls at Easter I was the proud owner of a pair of small breasts.

During that visit we had the following conversation.

'We didn't realise you wanted to go down this avenue'

'Nor did I, the tricky bit is yet to come though'

'Work?'

'Yeah, while they're a good bunch I'm not sure I can hack it. The breasts will be difficult to hide in a few weeks, so I figure on a vacation and a new job'

'Erm, I've got an idea. Why not join us in the band?'

'Don't talk rot'

'No seriously, you enjoy singing, we could all be together and everyone already knows Bobbie.'

'Aw come on Bobbie, it would be fun, you could move here with us.'

'Let me think on it'

'The offers always there sugar'

 

After I returned to SV I gave the situation a lot of thought, my suddenly fast growing breasts sealed my decision, my resignation followed quickly. I decided to leave Bob in LA, only Bobbie was going east. I got my ID changed, Bob left the apartment one last time. I traded the Pacer in for a new V-dub Beetle, put on a frock and sandals, a bit of makeup and drove east. I was now taking Bobbie voice pills everyday and the cumulative effect was becoming permanent. When Bobbie arrived at Mary Anne's farm I really was to all intents a girl. My new life as a girl singer was just about to begin.

 

Maddy Bell

 

 

 

*********************************************
Copyright 2001 by Madeline Bell. No part of this work may be distributed as an original work by another person or group. Permission is given to redistribute this by electronic means, as long as the entirety of the work is distributed, and credit is given to the original author, me. Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when used for satirical purposes. All rights reserved.