Camp Shoni
by
Pamela
Chapter 10
Lauren stepped down off the bus into a world of girls wearing blue and pink camp tee shirts hurrying about in all directions. Many of the girls were with moms and dads and brothers and sisters who helped them with their trunks or circled around excitedly visiting the lake, stables, ball fields, dining room and other attractions. Lauren saw girl campers as young as 6 and 7 and some older girls who had to be junior counselors as well as many young teenage girls like herself. With some relief Lauren realized that not all the girls - including some of the older ones - were as "grown up" as Joan. There was no reason why Lauren would not fit right in with them. In any case, Lauren was happy she had decided to have her padded bra ready to put on at Poughkeepsie since it gave her just a tiny bit more self-confidence than if she had on a regular bra.
Surveying the scene in front of her Lauren noticed that some of the girls were wearing skirts instead of shorts and the thought struck her that for the first time ever she was free to be whatever girl she wanted to be. She could wear a skirt if she wanted to or she could wear shorts. The decision would be hers entirely - whatever came out of her mind just as it would for any real girl. Lauren smiled inwardly and told herself that as soon as she was settled into her cabin she was going to put on a skirt, and maybe she would be wearing skirts the whole summer as well, of course unless she was playing softball or something like that.
"It's so great to be back," Joan said.
"It looks beautiful," Lauren said.
A tall woman came up to the two of them and said, "Welcome back Joan, it's great to see you again!"
"Hi, Ms. Rovelstad," Joan said, "I'm so happy to be back."
"And who is the new girl?" Ms. Rovelstad said indicating Lauren.
"This is Lauren. She's in my cabin."
"Hi Lauren, I'm Ms. Rovelstad, the head counselor."
"Hi," Lauren said shyly.
"Welcome to the camp! By any chance are you Lauren Baxter?"
"Yes," Lauren said, suddenly scared to hear Lorin's full name.
"I have a message for you somewhere." She shuffled through pages attached to a clip board she was carrying, found one and pulled it out and handed it to Lauren. "I think it's from your mom. Something about a haircut I think. She had it directed to Camp Dan but luckily it ended up here."
"I'm sorry," Lauren said.
"It happens all the time. It's the Navajo names, drives everyone a bit cuckoo remembering which camp is which. Every winter they talk about changing the names but they never do anything about it. Anyway, the odd thing this time is that Camp Dan thought they had a camper with exactly your name, but spelled differently. A boy whose been going there for years that everyone knows, but it turns out by coincidence that he isn't going this year. Luckily they asked if we had a Lauren Baxter!"
"Gosh," Lauren said hardly believing what she was hearing. Any second she expected Ms. Rovelstad to ask her if she was really the same Lorin Baxter who had been going to camp Dan.
But instead she said, "you can get your hair trimmed next week if you want, though it doesn't seem too long to me. Anyway, your cabin is just there," pointing across a large grass field with a flagpole in the middle.
"We're bunnies," Lauren said spontaneously, happy that the danger had seemed to pass.
Ms. Rovelstad chuckled, "I can see that already from your pink tee shirts! You're both going to make great bunnies!"
Lauren blushed slightly and looked down at the ground. "I'll get Scotty to help you with you're trunks," Ms. Rovelstad said, "and I hope you girls have a great time this summer!"
"We will," the two girls said simultaneously.
As Ms. Rovelstad went to help another camper Lauren opened the note and read: REMEMBER YOUR HAIRCUT AND HAVE A GREAT TIME! WE'RE OFF TO CHINA! LOVE, MOM AND DAD. Lauren smiled with relief. There wasn't any sudden change of plans or anything that she would have to worry about. Even better, all future letters would probably be automatically forwarded to Camp Shoni. There still tugged at Lauren's mind the thought that at this very moment Lorin's old friend Owen was probably settling in at camp Dan, and if anyone at Camp Dan could see through her disguise it would be him. It was a good thing that Owen would not be going to the cotillion this year.
Scotty was a middle aged, slightly balding man who was in charge of maintenance and any other "masculine" chores at the camp. He was jovial and put Lauren at ease from the moment he came over with a cart to help them with their trunks. It was clear that Scotty regarded Lauren as a young girl no different than Joan and it gave Lauren a giddy feeling inside to have that knowledge. It was like a kind of power she now had - the power to be feminine in what ever way she wanted to be.
With Scotty's help, Lauren and Joan got their luggage to the cabin. Eileen, Susan and Judy were already there and came out to help them lift the trunks up the few steps into the room. Lauren stood in the doorway and surveyed the large open floor plan trying to decide where would be the best bunk for herself. The beds were along the walls of a large space that formed an ell shape with a couple of doors near the middle of the ell - one for a storage closet that the cotillion dresses went in and one that led to the bathroom/shower facility. Lauren hoped that one bunk might be a bit more private than the rest so she could change more easily in front of the others. Before she could say anything, Joan said, "let's take these two!" The beds she was pointing to were at the end of the ell with a window between them. "Perfect," Lauren said noticing that she would be able to get dressed facing into a corner of the room with no one able to see her chest or even worse the protrusion between her legs.
After Lauren slid her trunk to a spot at the foot of the bed, she went back to introduce herself to the other girls.
"It's so great to see you in the flesh," Eileen said. She was a petite girl with dark straight hair in a simple cut. "I swear we're going to have the best cabin in the entire camp this year!"
"No contest," Susan said, "bunnies rule!" Lauren could not take her eyes off of her. She had a woman's chest and a beautiful face with full red lips and long eyelashes.
"We're going to have a blast," Judy said.
Just then Ann, Janet and Thalia came in with Marilyn who was their counselor for the summer, followed by Scotty with their luggage. The girls excitedly exchanged greetings and helped the newcomers choose bunks and settle in. Marilyn greeted everyone personally and gave a little welcoming speech telling the girls what to expect. Camp Shoni definitely seemed more organized than Camp Dan, Lauren thought, more of a communal spirit and Marilyn seemed to care a lot more than Lauren remembered her past counselors ever caring. This was going to be very nice Lauren thought.
"Now those girls who haven't emptied their trunks into their cubbies had better do so," Marilyn said. "Your trunks are going to be put in storage for the summer to give us more room. See how nicely Eileen and Susan have put away their things? You can put your bras in one cubby, your panties in another, and so on. There should be plenty of room. Put your gowns and any other clothes that have to be on a hanger in the closet. When you're all done we'll have a little cabin meeting to get to know one another."
Lauren went to her bunk and Joan went back to hers. Joan said, "in the back of the cubbies I put all the weird clothes my mom made me take that I never wear!"
Lauren laughed nervously thinking that probably most of her clothes the other girls would consider "weird." After all, they were the end result of what was really a scavenger hunt among whatever opportunities she could find to get clothes. One day, when she was older, she would just go to a store and buy a whole pretty wardrobe that made her look exactly how she wanted to look. Of course the one thing in her wardrobe that was perfect was her gown, but it would be almost ten weeks to the cotillion when she could dress up in it.
Lauren unlocked her trunk and looked in. Lorin's white socks were clearly boy's socks so she quickly put them to the back of a cubby. She emptied out her toothpaste and toothbrush and other toiletries and set the trunk shelf aside. Inside was utter chaos and Lauren made a quick move to try and shield it from Joan's view but it was too late.
"Oh my God, Lauren," she said laughing incredulously, "you have set the record in terrible packing. My God, my mom would go ballistic." Her excitement drew the attention of the other girls and they came by to have a look.
Embarrassed, Lauren said, "I was going to miss the bus. My mom had overslept. We had to throw everything in as fast as we could!"
Laughing, Thalia reached in and slowly pulled out a bra that was tied up with the sleeve of a blouse and two pairs of panties. Lauren, said, "c'mon girls."
"This looks like one of my mom's panties," Thalia said and the other girls laughed.
"Some of your clothes have historical value," Eileen said as she held up one of the old sneakers Lauren had found. It was from a brand that was no longer even in the stores.
It looked to Lauren that her game was up. It did matter that you had the kinds of clothes that all the other girls had, if you wanted people to believe you were a girl. The other girls laughed at Eileen's comment and Lauren fought back the urge to cry. The girls seemed oblivious to Lauren's emotion until Lauren fell over and buried her face in her pillow and sobbed.
The girls suddenly grew quiet and Susan put her hand on Lauren's shoulder and said, "omygod Lauren, we didn't mean to upset you. We were just playing!"
Thalia said, "I feel terrible!"
Marilyn came over to see what was going on. "What's a matter Lauren?" she said and looked at the other girls.
"We didn't mean to tease her about her clothes. We didn't mean it in a bad way!"
"You all go back to your packing and let me talk to Lauren. I'm sure this is just a little misunderstanding."
The girls dispersed back to their beds and Marilyn sat down next to Lauren surveying the mess in her trunk.
"What have we got here?" Marilyn asked in a conspiratorial tone. "Need help unpacking?" Lauren sat up and dried her eyes on her sleeve.
Lauren didn't say anything and Marilyn said, "you've got some wonderful clothes here. I like a girl who's got her own style, who doesn't go along with everyone else. It shows a lot of maturity."
"Thanks," Lauren said and held up one of her swim suits that had the sewn in skirt and said, "it's a hand-me-down from my neighbor."
"Are you..." Marilyn said and stopped and then smiled.
"What?" Lauren asked.
"You don't have to answer, I'll understand," and then whispering Marilyn said, "are you on scholarship?"
At first Lauren didn't know what she meant and then she figured it out. With sudden inspiration Lauren said, "yeah, I guess so."
"That certainly explains everything. I think it's so brave of you to come knowing how vulnerable it makes you."
"Thank you," Lauren said and while Marilyn gave her a hug she continued, "I'm sure I'll be OK now."
"You let me know if anyone teases you about your clothes!" Marilyn said.
"I know they didn't mean any harm!" Lauren said.
Joan couldn't help but overhear much of the conversation and said, "if you want to borrow any of my clothes feel free!"
"Thanks Joan," Lauren said a little embarrassed, "I will."
She and Joan resumed unpacking and Lauren found herself smiling. It was perfect, the perfect alibi for why her clothes were so strange, why none of her skirts, pants and tops were from cool stores down at the local mall. It was amazing how life offered up the answers to questions even if one had no clue how to answer them oneself.
Equally remarkable was just how nice the girls had taken the news that she was on scholarship. Lauren could recall quite the opposite experience a couple of years earlier at Camp Dan. In his cabin there had been a boy who everyone knew was on scholarship. Lauren remembered him being teased and tormented constantly by some of the bigger guys in the cabin. Lorin had tried to befriend him but to no avail since they didn't have anything in common. Out of fear Lorin had been afraid to tell the other guys to stop harassing the boy since he was pretty sure that his own relative weakness made him an easy target if they felt provoked by him.
Lauren continued unpacking and in short order had her bras, panties, stockings, tops, shorts and skirts neatly arranged in the cubbies over her bed. Her cotillion dress and crinoline were the last things she removed from the trunk. Through the clear plastic garment bag she could see that the dress had acquired a few creases, but it didn't really seem so bad. Anyway, after many weeks hanging in the closet they would probably vanish. As Lauren carried the dress across the room to the closet, the other girls complimented her on how pretty it was. Lauren hung it up in the closet joining several other pretty dresses that were already there. Lauren took a quick look at the others and decided that none of them were as pretty as her own.
When everyone was done unpacking and the trunks were placed outside to be taken away, Marilyn called the bunnies to congregate around her own bunk which was situated at the middle point of the ell shaped cabin. Lauren sat next to Eileen and Thalia on Janet's bed.
"I know you girls have been meeting online, but let's go around the circle and have everyone introduce themselves. Tell us where you go to school and how about what you're most looking forward to this summer at Camp Shoni. We'll go clockwise around the circle starting with me."
"I'm Marilyn and I'm now a junior at Penn State University. I major in theatre and I'm in charge of putting on the camp production this summer. We're going to be putting on Oliver and I hope that all of you try out for parts."
Marilyn looked at Eileen sitting next to her and after she mentioned her school said, "my favorite thing in camp is horseback riding. I ride back home a little and love it."
As they went around the circle Lauren found out that Janet and Ann like canoeing most of all, while Thalia liked arts and crafts, Susan liked swimming and Judy liked tennis. Joan said she like just about everything from "arts and crafts to boys" which caused the other girls to laugh. When it was her turn, Lauren said she was most excited about the cotillion but as far as everyday activities were concerned she probably would like the arts and crafts most of all.
When everyone had spoken Marilyn described how the daily schedule would work and how the girls could spend their free time doing more of what they liked doing - as against sitting around in the cabin. At one point she said, "from the looks of you ladies I'd guess that most of you are having periods. I don't have to remind you to not flush your kotex down the toilet. Use the garbage bags in the bathroom! Do any of you tend to get really bad periods?"
Joan and Eileen raised their hands. Marilyn continued, "then don't be shy about taking it easy those days. Just say the word and I won't nag you about getting up and going to your activities!"
"One final thing and then I think we should all head out to swim until dinner time. Is there anyone here who would volunteer to be the camp gonger? The gonger is traditionally a girl from either the Bunnies or Wolves of your age."
"What does the gonger do?" Susan asked. This was her first time at camp.
"I'm sorry. The new girls won't know who the gonger is. She's a camper who awakes every morning before everyone else and strikes the big gong in the middle of the field at precisely 6:30 AM to wake every one up. Older girls are too liable to sleep in to be reliable gongers and the younger girls are too young. That's why we want one of you to volunteer."
The girls laughed and made fun of the idea of getting up early, with the exception of Lauren who asked, "How much earlier does the gonger have to get up?"
"As early as you need to so as to get out to the gong by 6:30. The gonger is given a special alarm clock that shakes her awake. If she wants she can wash up, shower, whatever before she goes out there."
Lauren looked around at the other girls. Even though they might find her bizarre for volunteering, she had immediately seen how it could save her the biggest dilemma she faced: showering with the other girls. "I'd love to do it," Lauren blurted out.
"Really?" Marilyn said.
"I love getting up early and I'm sure it would be fun to hit the gong."
"That's great Lauren. I'll let Ms. Rovelstad know! Usually we have to cajole one of the girls to volunteer."
"No, no, for me it'll be fun."
"OK then, that was a lot easier than I thought!"
Marilyn thought for a moment and said, "any questions about anything else before we swim?"
Susan said, "when is the first dance?"
"I was wondering why no one was asking! The first dance is next Saturday at Camp Dan."
"So cool!" Ann said.
"But aren't all the boys going to be older?" Eileen asked. "I heard that the boys our age aren't allowed anymore!"
"You're right," Marilyn said, "except that the counselors got together last week and decided to give the boys your age at Camp Dan a chance to prove themselves. They will be allowed to go to the Saturday dances to demonstrate that they are mature enough to go to the cotillion. If all goes well they'll be invited back each week and then they'll be able to participate in the Cotillion."
Lauren turned pale and had to steady herself from fainting. You mean this was all for nothing? She could have stayed as Lorin and gone to the cotillion? Everything set in motion from that one unfortunate footnote in the camp brochure so many months ago was for naught? Lauren felt woozy. I've become a girl for no reason, but on the other hand, I don't ever not want to be a girl. Now that I'm a girl I can't give it up. Lauren was mixed up inside and wanted to run and hide somewhere but there was no chance. She heard Marilyn say, "if that's all the questions, let's all change to our swim suits and go down to the lake."
Lauren slowly walked back to her bunk while the other girls rushed back to theirs. Next to her, Joan pulled her blouse over her head revealing her white bra, and then with her back to Lauren she pulled down her shorts and panties and unhooked her bra. Gazing out across the room, Lauren saw the other girls were also in various stages of undress. Some were fully naked, some were stepping out of panties or slipping off their bras. The view was shocking and Lauren was unprepared for it. A bit of heaven it seemed like, a diorama of femininity that she wished she could be part of. Her lack of true breasts and presence of her male "equipment" kept her an outsider. The sweet white untanned skin around the bottoms and tops of the girls looked so delicate and graceful to her. The swelling hips and narrow waists. Joan was stepping into her suit and Lauren watched transfixed as she gracefully placed one leg in her bikini bottom and then the other and pulled it up and then turned to face Lauren while she put on the bra top of the suit. "You're not swimming?" she asked Lauren.
"Got to pee!" Lauren said and took her light green bathing suit with green flowers out of its cubby and made a bee line for the bathroom. Once inside she went to the stall area and felt relieved to see that they all had doors. Thank goodness. She entered one, closed the door behind her, pulled down her shorts and panties and sat down on the seat and peed. When she was done she grabbed some paper and dabbed at her self, it was a suggestion of Beth's so that she wouldn't seem any different than the other girls. She flushed and then as quickly as possible switched her clothes. The bathing suit fit her well and she went out of her way to tuck her small member back out of the way. When the suit was on she bent over to see how well the little skirt covered herself and as far as she could tell it was as she envisioned, there was no obvious sign of her boyhood.
Lauren apprehensively left the bathroom to join the other girls. Almost everyone was congregated at the door and Lauren rapidly joined them after she grabbed a towel and put on her flip flops. She wasn't the only one wearing a one piece suit though only hers had the little skirt. She was half expecting to be made fun about her swimsuit but the other girls ignored it: maybe Marilyn had used Lauren's time in the bathroom to admonish the girls from teasing her. Whatever the cause, Lauren was happy that she could just enjoy her time as a girl without having to worry incessantly about how she fit in.
Before they left Marilyn had them put on their pink bunny tee shirts over their swim suits so they indeed looked like a little flock of pink bunnies when they left the cabin and walked across the field. Walking down the path toward the lake, Lauren fell in step with Joan and Thalia and the three of them chatted about their common preference for arts and crafts. Thalia related how she had recently made a dress with her mothers help and that she had ideas for a skirt and blouse that she intended to work on at camp.
"I would love to work on something like that," Lauren said.
"You can work on the same thing along side me and I'll help you."
"Me too," Joan said.
"Great, we'll make 3 skirts and blouses," Thalia said.
"I also like bead work," Joan said.
"Sure, we can make necklaces too," Thalia said.
"We're going to have so much fun," Lauren said.
Thalia who walking between Lauren and Joan put her arms on the shoulders of each of them and then Lauren and Joan put their arms on Thalia's waist. The three girls walked that way, laughing and giggling, all the way down to the lake.
When the bunnies got to the water they lay down their towels on the stony embankment and took off their tee shirts and sandals. A couple of them walked to the waters edge and stuck their toes in, only to shriek and run back to the others.
"The water is still cold!" Judy said.
"It won't get warm for a few more weeks," Janet said.
Lauren delicately walked down to the water with her arms out and put her toe in the water and then jumped backwards and shrieked. "It's so cold!"
"Let's play throw Lauren in the water!" Eileen said. The other girls thought it was a great idea and Lauren found herself laughing and playing along with the others as they closed in on her. Before long all the girls had fallen into the cold water and they splashed and ran around together having a wonderful time.
While the girls were swimming Ms. Rovelstad came over to watch and Marilyn joined her.
"They're a great bunch of girls," Marilyn said.
"The bunnies are usually the easy ones. It's the wolves that sometimes become difficult," Ms. Rovelstad said.
"I know what you mean," Marilyn said.
They watched a few minutes and Ms. Rovelstad said, "that Lauren Baxter has the cutest old fashioned suit. It's been a few years since I saw one like that."
"You're right. I had to give the girls a little pep talk about being kind to her. Scholarship kids can easily get their feelings hurt."
"Scholarship kid?" Ms. Rovelstad said. "I'm pretty certain she's not on scholarship."
"Really?" Marilyn said. "That's odd."
"Why did you think she's on scholarship?"
"Oh, no reason. She seemed so waif-like. Her clothes look found and when I said something about it, she admitted she was."
"Keep your eye on her," Ms. Rovelstad said.
"She seems happy enough," Marilyn said. Some of the girls including Lauren were playing leap frog in the water.
"It's probably nothing but you never know."
"I forgot to say she volunteered to be the gonger."
"Really? That's great. Some years it's so hard to get one. Good. Tell her to see me in the cafeteria during dinner and I'll give her her instructions." Ms. Rovelstad walked away slowly, deep in thought.
In a short while, one by one, the girls left the water and spread out their blankets on a grassy area near the lake. Lauren found herself lying between Thalia and Joan in a line of 8 girls lying side by side. She propped herself up on her elbows and surveyed her cabin mates. She definitely belonged here. There was no doubt about it. She was one of them. She was one of the girls. When she got back to the cabin she was going to wear a skirt and her best padded bra and maybe even Penny's blouse. It was the first time she had thought of Penny since she had arrived at the camp. Penny was Lorin's friend and a stranger to Lauren. Would Penny object to Lauren wearing Penny's blouse? Sure, she would. It couldn't be OK for Lauren to wear Penny's blouse. She would have to put it away for now and maybe forever. This last thought made her shiver in fear, but then she understood that it was Lorin who was afraid. He didn't want to give Penny up. Maybe at the end of the summer he would reassert himself and reclaim Penny. Lauren, Lorin, Lauren, Lorin. Lauren was very mixed up. She looked at Joan and Thalia's pretty forms and then at the little skirt of her own bathing suit and felt happy again. This was going to be a wonderful summer and the first dance was going to be so much fun.
Lauren lay down on her stomach and relaxed. She thought about her first dance as Lauren and what that might be like. She smiled at the memory of her practice dancing with Beth. Then, like a jolt of electricity she realized that the decision to let the younger boys attend the dances meant that Owen and some of the other boys that she knew from years past were likely to be at the dance. Would they recognize her? Particularly if they found out her whole name. No, she was not out of the woods yet. There was still so much to worry about.
"What are you thinking about so hard," Joan said. She was sitting up now looking down at Lauren.
"Just the dance next Saturday," Lauren said. "I wonder how the boys are."
"I feel the same way. I hope they're nice to us. Boys can be so immature sometimes. But I'm hoping it's going to be great."
"Yeah, so am I," Lauren said.
End Chapter 10
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