The story of Catherine Lawrence is in 15 parts and I apologise for such a long story but it got out of hand. All 15 parts are completed and for those who like to print the story so you can read it in bed, I will have all 15 parts posted soon.
Carmenica

 

Catherine Lawrence

by Carmenica Diaz

Part 14

 

The flight was uneventful, the woman next to me was quiet, read her book and didn't try to instigate conversation for which I was grateful. I dozed and soon I was back in Paris and in my apartment.

I love Paris and it was wonderful to be back, to live my normal life again. After two weeks, I was lost in thought at my favourite café when my mobile rang. 'Hello?'

'Happy birthday for next week,' Bel said.

'My birthday? That's not until…'

'It's been a year since Cate emerged, silly.'

'Oh my,' I gasped. A year, it's been a year already? 'I'd lost track of time. So much has happened.'

'Well,' Bel laughed, 'that's an understatement. Anyway, we're coming over on Saturday for a celebration.'

Celebration? I didn't really feel like celebrating. 'Bel…'

'No buts, Lucy, Mark and I are coming and we want to see your apartment. No arguments.'

It was like old times and they made me laugh so much. Mark, who is an extraordinary cook, prepared the meal and it was delicious. Lucy raised her glass, the others followed suit and she said, 'A toast, to the marvellous Catherine Lawrence, our friend.'

'Our friend,' they chorused and I flushed.

'You shouldn't,' I murmured and then smiled at them. 'Thank you for coming, it's been wonderful to see you all again.'

'Are you alright, sweetie?' Mark asked, glancing at Bel and Lucy. 'I've been told you haven't been yourself.'

'No,' I agreed but then said firmly, 'but that's changing, I'm going ahead with my life. I'm afraid I got caught up in self-pity or something...

'No, that's unfair,' protested Bel and Lucy nodded.

'Anyway, I'm over it.' I raised my glass. 'To the three most wonderful friends a girl could have. Thank you,' I added, my eyes tickling.

It was a wonderful weekend and the following Friday, I was back in London with Helen.

'A year,' Helen said, 'it has gone quickly.

'I didn't realise until Bel rang me.'

Helen smiled at that. 'Well, that's a good sign. What's your decision?

'I think you know the answer to that.'

 

Confidentiality was the key and Helen arranged a very expensive clinic in Canada. Apparently, I wasn't the first high profile patient that used its services and confidentiality was absolutely legally and morally guaranteed.

The cost was exorbitant but I willingly paid it. It wasn't just sexual reassignment surgery; it also involved some other surgical but I won't go into details.

I had to wait almost two months before they accepted the results of the testing and the recommendations and then I would be away for a further two months. I told Lucy and swore her to secrecy, although her first reaction was to come with me.

'You can't, that would draw attention,' I explained patiently.

'I could just be in the background. Cate, I'm going to worry like crazy!'

'I'm on my own on this, Lucy. Cover for me and don't tell Bel…'

'But…'

'She has enough to worry about with her wedding. Just tell her I'm off travelling or something. I'm sure you'll think of something.'

She hugged me fiercely. 'Good luck. God, you're brave!'

I smiled at that as I was frightened of the whole process but I had to do it.

'Cate?'

'No,' I said firmly, 'you can't…'

'No, it's not that. I'm in two minds to tell you.'

'Tell me what?'

'Stephen rang me to talk about the new posters they want to do.'

'Did he?' I felt my heart pound and felt my legs weaken.

'But that was just a cover, Byron could have rung. He wanted to know how you were.'

'He did?' I tried not to sound happy. 'What did you tell him?'

'I told him you were fabulous, of course. What do you take me for?'

I smiled at that. 'Thanks Lucy. What did he say?'

'He said in that formal way of his that he would expect that, that you would be strong and move on, he admires that or something. God, he does go on!'

'Yes, he does,' I agreed, 'but I must admit I found it rather sweet.'

'He said to give you his regards.'

'Ok, thanks, Lucy.'

'He also said that he missed you greatly.'

I stopped. 'Oh my, did he?'

'Yes, he did.' Lucy looked at me seriously. 'Cate, underneath that terribly formal manner, he's broken up, almost hurt. I could feel it.'

'Perhaps,' I said, trying to smile and keeping tears at bay, 'but he has his duty to have a swag of children. I'm afraid he will choose duty above all. I'll ring you when it's all over.' I hugged her and left, ready for my greatest adventure.

 

I was frightened but the staff at the clinic was superb. There has been much written about gender reassignment surgery so I feel no need to go into the details. Suffice to say it wasn't completely pleasant, the period after the operation was painful and the necessary dilation exercises were annoying but I soon accepted them as a necessary part of my life.

My body shape was altered slightly with some fat deposits moved to give me a rounder hourglass figure and plumper lips. At the end of the two months, I even admitted to myself that I looked great. Even though it was risky, I allow some fine-tuning of my vocal chords and, after the successful minor surgery I had a permanent female voice, softer and a little huskier.

What was more important, I felt whole, I was who I was meant to be. Never at any stage within that period did I entertain any regrets; I was enthusiastic all the way.

With a week to go before I left, I called Lucy. 'It's done,' I said simply.

'Your voice sounds a little different.'

'More me now, I think.'

'It sounds very sexy.' Silence. 'Can I tell the others?'

'Of course.'

When I flew back to Paris, I felt as if I was reborn, born into the person I was meant to be.

I was surprised to find Mark, Bel and Lucy at the apartment and they embraced me furiously and I was so happy to see them, I began crying. So did Bel and Lucy and even Mark was teary.

Lucy had obviously told them.

'You're ok?' Bel asked, searching my eyes and I smiled.

'I feel wonderful.'

'Everything,' Lucy hesitantly asked, 'went well? I mean…'

'It was a complete success,' I said gently. They hugged me again and then Mark broke out the champagne. Of course, they wanted all the details and I teasingly said, 'Why? I suppose you want to have a look as well?'

I could see they seriously thought about it and then we all laughed.

Then, I caught up with all the news. Bel's wedding was just a few weeks away and I needed to get my dress organised. 'You'll have to come to London for it, why not stay until the wedding?' Bel asked.

'Good idea,' Lucy said, 'you can bunk in with me and the premier for Silken Memories is next week so it's excellent timing. After Bel's wedding, you'll have to go to America for the premier of Vital Statistics.'

Lucy and Luc were becoming very intense and I was so pleased for Lucy. 'More wedding bells?' I teased and she blushed.

'He hasn't asked me yet.'

'Wait until Bel's wedding,' Mark pronounced, 'he'll ask you then.'

'Do you know something?' Lucy demanded, suspiciously but he wouldn't say anymore.

Mark was involved with Hans, a professional tennis player from Germany. The relationship was still going after three months, which set a new record for Mark. We all had our hopes up for him.

I sipped my champagne and hesitantly asked Lucy, 'Did anyone notice I had disappeared?'

'Like the press?' Lucy teased. 'Not really but I'm sure you'll be the hot topic again after the movies are released. By the way, The English Woman is the biggest grossing European film this year. You're rolling in money, my girl.'

'That's good,' I said absently.

Lucy smiled slyly. 'Sascha Cosmetics wanted to know if you would consider a television commercial that would be shown on both sides of the Atlantic.

I looked up quickly. 'Did they? What did you say?'

'I said I would have to discuss it with you and that it would be expensive.'

'What did he say?'

She smiled again. 'Byron said he'd wait.'

'Oh,' was all I said, disappointed.

They exchanged glances and Bel laughed.

'I almost forgot,' Lucy said, 'Stephen called me about once a week, wanting to know if he could talk to you, said you didn't answer your phone.'

I snapped my head around to stare at her. 'Did he? What did you say?'

'I told him you were away and would return in a month or two. He seemed terribly dejected about that.'

'Was he?' I asked and they all laughed when they saw me smile.

'You heartless bitch,' Bel teased.

'Well,' I admitted laughing, 'I really am a bitch now.'

 

I could tell that Bel and Lucy thought I was happier and I was. There was no turning back, now, and, of course, I wouldn't dream of it. I had taken the step and I felt complete. It's not the perfect explanation I know but it's the closest to how I feel. I remembered the final words from Silken Memories.

This is who I am, this is me!

Mark was my date for the premiere and he enjoyed walking up the red carpet. The cameras and the interviewers pounced on me and I smiled, answered their questions and showed off my dress, which had been made by a young designer from Bristol.

Humpy, Wade and Sarah were all at the premiere, of course and we all caught up at the party. Humpy looked me up and down, glass of champagne in his hand. 'You look positively radiant, darling,' he said. 'I suppose you've been off hiking through jungles or skiing? Something insane I'm sure.'

'Something like that,' I laughed.

The reviews were wonderful and Sarah was blazing with happiness. 'You'll be a famous director now, as well as playwright,' I murmured in her ear as I kissed her cheek in congratulations.

Henri took me aside and demanded to know when I was returning to the theatre. 'I haven't had any offers,' I said cheekily.

'I may have something for you,' he said. 'Promise me you'll think about it?'

'It depends.'

'Have you heard of Jonas Rider?'

'Of course, he's a sensational playwright but he hasn't written for years, has he?'

'He has just written a new play, the lead has your name on it.'

I raised an eyebrow. 'Has it really? The lead character is called Catherine?'

Henri laughed. 'Well, actually, no. Can I send you a copy of The Dinner Party?'

I kissed his cheek and squeezed his hand. 'Of course, Henri.'

 

I did the media rounds with Wade and Humpy for Silken Memories and the critics were giving it high praise indeed. Wade murmured to me as we were getting out of a car, 'we'll have to do this all again soon for Vital Statistics.'

'It's our job, darling,' I said sweetly and he laughed.

'You sound like Henri.'

 

We travelled to Liverpool for the wedding and I met all her family and Rodney's as well and took to them immediately. The press were hovering around the hotel where Lucy and I, as well as other guests were staying.

I walked down and the camera's popped like crazy.

Smiling, I let them take photographs and then called for their attention. 'I'd like to ask you all a favour.'

'What, Cate?' one called out.

'Please don't go to the church tomorrow and spoil my friends wedding. It's her day and I'd hate to see it turned into a circus.'

'Ok, love,' one said, 'you've always been fair to us.'

'What's in it for us, Cate?' another cheekily called.

I laughed. 'You'll keep,' I said in my liver accent and they all laughed. 'How about pictures of the bridesmaids and the bride before we go to the church?'

'Sounds great,' they called and I thanked them.

The next day, the three of us with Bel's Dad stood in front of the cars while the photographers took photograph after photograph.

'Thanks, Cate,' one called, 'you're a good sport.'

 

Of course, Lucy and I cried during the wedding ceremony, it was so beautiful and, I hasten to add, we weren't the only ones to cry happy tears. Lucy, who stared at in shocked surprise, caught the bouquet and then slowly shook her head.

We waved goodbye to Bel and Rodney and then walked back in, the soft music becoming forceful for more dancing. Mark and I winked at each other when we saw Luc taking Lucy to the dance floor, dancing closely.

'Feel like a dance, Cate?' Mark asked but I knew his heart wasn't in it. Hans was waiting at the hotel and Mark was keen to get back to him.

'No,' I smiled, patting his arm, 'it's ok. Why don't you slip away?'

'You don't mind?'

'Not at all.'

He smiled gratefully and slipped away while I watched Lucy and Luc dancing slowly in the corner of the dance floor. I had the feeling I was on my own for the rest of the evening.

I walked onto the terrace and sipped my second glass of champagne, listening to the music through the French doors, a million miles away. For a moment, I thought I could hear bells and then realised it was my phone in my purse.

'Hello?'

'Hello Cate.'

My heart stopped and I turned towards the French doors. 'Stephen?' I could hardly get the words out as my throat felt constricted.

'I'm afraid it is. I've been hoping I could speak to you, you are a difficult woman to get hold of.'

'I suppose I have been lately,' I murmured.

'I saw some of the wedding on the television news, you looked beautiful.'

I flushed and laughed self-consciously. 'It's the bride's day, Bel was…'

'I saw Belinda but I'm afraid I must say one particular bridesmaid completely outshone the bride.'

I smiled at that. 'You have such a way with words,' I murmured.

'Do I? I'm afraid I've had a glass or two of whisky trying to marshal my courage to call. '

'Stephen, I'm afraid I've been rude lately but it's because I've…'

'Hush, not a word. I'm afraid I must apologise, I behaved in a less than sympathetic manner.'

'Stephen, that's not…'

'I'm afraid it is, Cate.' There was a pause and I heard him take a deep breath. 'Cate, I simply can't get you out of my mind.'

'Stephen…'

'I can't Cate, I tried, heaven knows I tried but I've been a terrible failure in that regard.'

'Stephen…'

'Cate, I would very much like to see you, to enjoy your company at dinner, to be with you as often as you permit.'

'But, what about…'

'I don't care about anything but you, Cate,' he said quietly. 'Can you see it within yourself to forgive my objectionable behaviour?'

'There is nothing objectionable about you,' I said softly and I pictured him smiling that crooked smile I loved so much.

'Can we meet when you're next in London?'

'I would like that but I'm in America for a while soon. Perhaps after that?'

'I don't know if I can wait that long but if I must, I must.'

The band was playing 'Bewitched'.

'I've missed you,' I said quietly. 'I've been a perfect bitch.'

Stephen laughed. 'I could not imagine that.'

'Believe it,' I said with a wry smile. 'Call me?'

'I swear it,' he said softly and I was still smiling when I went to bed.

End of Catherine Lawrence Part 14 by Carmenica Diaz

  

  

  

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