Contest And Consequence

by Sarah Bayen

Part Twelve

  

I walked through the school to the canteen carrying my bag, which was now even fuller. Nancy had suggested we take the cheerleading costumes home to practice some more on our own that evening. I wasn't sure I was entirely happy with that idea, especially with Liz coming around for dinner, but rather than make a fuss, I had gone along with it.

Sue was sitting eating with Nikki. I walked over to join them.

"Hi, did the cheerleading thing go okay?" asked Nikki brightly.

"Yes, not bad," I replied. "Chrissie put in an appearance though, and nearly ruined the whole thing."

"Typical!"

"You not eating?" Sue asked.

I could smell the food, and was tempted, but I remembered how I needed to keep myself slim, and shook my head. "No, I'm fine."

"I must say I'm a bit surprised at what you're wearing," Sue went on. I gave her a puzzled look. "Well," she continued. "We've got to go and see David this afternoon. You weren't thinking of admitting to him that you're a boy were you?"

I thought about this. It didn't seem a particularly good idea to confess to him that I'd been working in his sister's shop as a boy, especially with him being gay. He might think I was ridiculing him in some way.

"No," I said slowly. "But I thought I'd change later."

"Fair enough," Sue went on, taking another mouthful of her salad. "I just thought that if you'd got yourself all made up and stuff for the cheerleading, you might have kept it on for this afternoon."

Thinking about this, it would have been a good idea. Now I would have to find some place to make myself look at least plausible as a girl before going to the shop. More than likely going around to Sue's before we went there was going to be the best bet. I decided to change the subject.

"How's Anita? I've not seen her for a couple of days."

"She's off sick," Nikki told me.

"Sick?"

"Yeah, she's got a cold or the flu or something."

I thought about this. She had shown no signs of illness over the weekend, or indeed earlier in the week when she had asked me around for the evening. I wondered if her absence from school had more to do with me upsetting her.

"Maybe I'll give her a call later on, to see how she is." I said.

"That would be nice," Nikki told me.

"What do you think David wants to see us about?" I asked Sue. I had asked her this before, but I was hoping she had gleaned some new information.

"I don't know," she replied. "It's obviously something to do with Sylvia being in hospital, and the shop."

"I hope you don't loose your jobs!" Nikki observed.

"Me too!" Sue added. "I like it, and I like the money as well."

"Mind you, from what you said, it's going to be difficult for him to run it with Sylvia in hospital. He's got his own business as well hasn't he?"

"Yes," Sue replied. "I know he's been running it this week. I popped in there last night, and he was there."

"Didn't he say anything about what his plans were then?" I asked.

"No," Sue replied. "He said it wouldn't be fair to you; he said he wanted to tell us both together."

"That doesn't sound too good," Nikki observed.

I thought about this. It seemed likely, if Sylvia was going to be in hospital for a while, that the shop would have to shut. I couldn't say that I was too unhappy about that. Spending every Saturday working inside, particularly during the upcoming summer, wasn't desperately appealing. But I couldn't help but feel for Sue, who seemed very attached to the job. It was a shame that she was going to loose it through no fault of her own. It suddenly occurred to me that it also meant that I wasn't going to have to dress as a girl every weekend either. Given my new resolve never to wear a skirt again, I supposed that had to be good news; but somehow, I felt a little deprived rather than pleased with the prospect.

"When do you want to get off then?" Sue asked me, arousing me from my thoughts.

"I don't know," I replied. "What time did he say we should be there?"

"Well, the shop shuts at half five, so anytime before then would be okay," she went on. "But since you didn't stay all girled up after your cheerleading, I suppose we ought to allow you some time to change."

"Yes," I agreed. "Is it okay if we go back to your place first?"

"Sure, but it'll mean we need to set off a bit earlier."

I thought some more. "Actually I'd quite like to get back home fairly early," I explained. "We've got someone coming around for dinner, and I said I'd cook it."

Sue and Nikki looked at me, and then broke into grins. "Who is it?" they both demanded in unison. "Sounds like a date to me!"

I blushed. "Not really."

"Oh come on Sarah!" Nikki urged. "Tell us who it is!"

"Yeah!" Sue added.

"My name's Steve," I added petulantly.

"Well whatever," Nikki said dismissively. "Tell us who you've invited to dinner!"

I hesitated. There seemed no real reason not to tell them. "It's Liz," I said quietly.

"Liz!" Sue gasped. "I thought there might be something up between you two! Andrea said something the other day!"

Nikki looked at me as well. "Well tell us all about it!"

"There's nothing to tell," I said, still blushing. "We're just," I hesitated. "Friends."

"More than that I bet!" Sue went on. "I've seen the way she looks at you."

"Yeah," agreed Nikki. "You could tell she had the hots for you when she interviewed you during the contest."

"Yeah, she couldn't keep her eyes off you!"

"Is she a good kisser?" Nikki demanded.

I wanted the ground to swallow me up. Whatever I said to Nikki and Sue was likely to get back to Anita quickly.

"Come on, is she?" Nikki insisted.

"Not bad," I said eventually.

"So you have snogged her!" Sue announced with glee. "God Sarah, you're a dark horse! She's two year's older than us for a start."

"Yeah," agreed Nikki. "Anyway, I thought she was a lesbian."

"Shhh!" urged Sue.

They both looked at me and thought about this. "Well," Nikki said at last. "I suppose if you're bisexual or something, someone like Sarah would be ideal."

"Yeah," agreed Sue.

"Stop it!" I snapped. "It's not like that."

"Well what is it like then?" Nikki demanded, with a big grin on her face.

"Well I just think she's nice," I replied. "And she treats me," I stopped, not wanting to say what I had just been thinking.

"She treats you what?" Sue demanded.

I was still silent.

"Come on Sarah, spill the beans!" Nikki went on.

"She treats me nicely," I said eventually. "She's good to me."

"I bet she is!" Sue said joyfully. "She's trying to get into your knickers!"

She and Nikki laughed at this, and I felt myself blushing even deeper.

"No she's not," I insisted. "She loves me for my mind, not just my body."

"Oh, so she loves you does she?" Nikki said, pouncing on my inadvertent use of the word.

They both looked intently at me, waiting for a reply. I was silent for a few seconds, and then shrugged. "I don't know. I think she probably does."

"Aw that's sweet!" Nikki told me. "I can't wait to tell Anita. We didn't think that when we made you into Sarah, you'd be getting into a love affair so quickly!"

I felt even more embarrassed. "Don't tell Anita!" I pleaded.

"Why ever not? She'll be delighted!" Nikki insisted.

Sue looked at me carefully. "I'm not sure she will," she put in, quietly. "I think she might have a thing for Sarah as well."

"Don't be silly!" Nikki went on, rejecting the idea. "She's got John. Besides, Sarah is too pretty for her, she likes her boys to be big and strong."

Sue shrugged, and said no more.

"Are you sure?" Nikki asked her, a shadow of doubt obviously crossing her mind.

"Not sure," Sue went on. "But they did a lot of dancing together on our girls' night out remember?"

"Oh yeah!" Nikki gasped. She turned to look at me. "Honestly Sarah, you're worse than I thought! Two girls at the same time!"

"It's not like that at all!" I protested. "It's just that I think I should be the one to tell Anita, if anyone's going to."

Nikki looked at me long and hard. "Well, I suppose that's fair enough. You can tell her when you ring her up tonight to see how she is."

"Maybe," I replied vaguely.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments, which was eventually broken by Sue. "Well, if you need to get back home early, we might as well set off now, it that's okay with you?"

"Yes," I replied. I turned to Nikki, and smiled hopefully at her. "Don't tell Anita will you?"

She smiled and shook her head. "No. And good luck with the shop thing you two. I hope you keep your jobs!"

Sue and I walked down the train station, and waited for the train. She tried for a while to find out more about Liz and I, but, seeing how reluctant I was to talk about it, turned the conversation to other things. She told me that Andrea thought I looked adorable in my cheerleader outfit, better than I had done even for the contest. I felt a little flustered by this for some reason, but shrugged it off, and decided to probe Sue about her feelings for David.

She was hardly forthcoming at first, just shrugging, and reiterating that as David was gay, there was no hope for her, and she didn't really ever think about it. My heart felt for her; I knew what it was like to have a crush on someone that was doomed to failure! I had spent three years in love with Anita, without any hope of fulfilment. Not until I allowed myself to wear a skirt that is.

The train came, and we got on. It was unusually crowded for early afternoon, and we ended up sharing a cubicle with a young woman with two small children, and a baby. She had what looked like dozens of plastic carrier bags placed in the rack above their heads, and was struggling to entertain the baby while the other children vied for her attention.

The train got underway. Sue, with a one-track mind, lamented again the possibility of loosing her job, while I thought about how I was going to feel when David told us that the whole shopgirl affair was over.

"I want my toy!" one of children shouted opposite us, folding her arms in front of her, and thrusting her lip out, and her head downwards.

"I can't get it for a moment," her harassed mother told her. "It's up in one of the bags. You can have it when we get home."

"I want it now," the small girl insisted petulantly.

"Well I can't get it for you now," her mother explained, as calmly as she could. "I'm holding Amy aren't I?"

"I hate Amy!" the girl asserted, with caused a look of horror on her mother's face.

"No you don't!" the mother insisted. "She's your sister!"

"I don't care! I hate her!" the girl went on.

"I hate her too," her elder brother, who had been reading a comic added, not particularly helpfully. "And I want my toy too!"

The mother's face looked stressed. "Well you'll have to do without!" she snapped. "I can't put Amy down."

I looked across at her, and the little bundle she held in her arms. "I'll hold her for you if you want." I offered.

The woman looked at me, obviously taken aback. "Are you sure?" she asked. I nodded in reply. "Do you know how to hold a baby?"

"I think I'll be all right," I offered, and held my arms out. Dubiously, she passed the wriggling infant, wrapped in its blanket over to me, and I gently placed it in my lap, cradling its head in the crook of my arm.

"Hello Amy!" I said, as brightly as I could, looking down and smiling at the chubby little face, which stared back at me with a startled expression. In a few seconds the baby's expression began to change, and I was relieved when the contortions of her little face resolved themselves into a smile.

The woman watched all this, and, evidently confident that I wasn't going to drop little Amy, or inadvertently throw her out of the window, she stood to retrieve the toys from the bags on the rack.

"She's lovely!" Sue offered, looking at Amy in my arms.

"Thank you," the woman replied. "Although you might not think that when she's screaming for her milk at three in the morning!"

I looked down at the little bundle in my arms, and found it hard to imagine that she could ever be anything other than gorgeous. I screwed my face up for her, and she gurgled joyfully at me, waving her tiny hands around. The woman had found the bag she needed, and was searching for the little packets inside it that might just give her a temporary respite from the children's nagging.

The sweet smell of the baby, a mixture of the various unguents that she was probably covered in, wafted up into my nose, and made me feel warm inside. Without really thinking about it, I bent down, and kissed her on the forehead, which smelt even more of baby, and began gently to rock her from side to side. She gazed at me with a fixed and fascinated stare.

The mother had obviously finished her task, and the two other children were ripping apart the packages on the purchases they had obviously forced her into earlier.

"It's funny," she said, staring down at me and her youngest child. "She doesn't normally like boys."

"Sarah's not a boy!" Sue gasped. A cold clammy feeling came over me, and my mouth fell open. What was Sue thinking of? Here I was, dressed in a T-shirt and jeans, with no make up, and without my wig, and she had to go and say something like that. How on earth was I going to extricate myself from this without loosing face?

The woman stared at me harder, with a puzzled look on her face. The warmth and niceness I had felt while holding the baby had more or less vanished. The mother was bound to take her back now, to save her from the little pervert who allowed himself to be called Sarah. I cringed under her scrutiny, and waited for the inevitable explosion of outrage.

Instead her voice was gentle. "Oh of course not," the woman said. I stared at her like a frightened rabbit, not knowing what she was meant. She went on. "I'm sorry. I can see that now. You don't look a bit like a boy at all, I was just confused by your haircut."

I looked up at her in amazement. She thought I was a girl, even dressed as I was. In the words of the song, I knew I wasn't the most masculine guy, but I wasn't used to being mistaken for a girl, or at least, not unless I was wearing girls' clothes. I didn't know what to do. Should I correct her mistake? If I did, how could I explain Sue's comment, and particular her calling me Sarah?

I smiled, and braced myself for the admission I had determined upon. Like Peter denying Christ, I was about to deny my very masculinity. "That's all right. Lots of people think I'm a boy sometimes." I turned, and threw Sue a fierce glare. She turned towards the window to hide her smile.

"I should have guessed anyway," the woman went on. "Boys don't pay much attention to babies do they?"

"I suppose not," I replied weakly.

"Do you want me to take her back?" she asked, smiling at me again, and sitting back down on the seat.

"No, it's all right. You have a break." I replied, looking down at little Amy again, and being entranced anew by her smiling toothless grin.

"Okay, but let me know as soon as you've had enough." She replied, and began to pay some attention to Amy's two siblings, who were struggling to unwrap and assemble the little toys that they had wanted so badly.

I tried to lose myself in talking to Amy again, but I was distracted by Sue's jerky movements beside me, as she tried to stifle her giggles. I occasionally tried to give her a long hard stare, but she resolutely continued to stare out of the window. Looking back at Amy, a smile forced itself onto my lips, and I bent over her and cooed at her. Something at the back of my mind rebelled at the thought of me sitting there, having asserted that I was a girl, but I pushed it away from the front of my consciousness, and began to sing a soft little song.

Finishing it, I self-consciously looked at the woman opposite me. She was smiling benignly at me, while reading Amy's sister a story. I smiled back, and carried on with my song.

I was a bit sad at the end of the journey when I had to give Amy back. I waited until the woman had ushered her other children onto the platform, and unfolded the buggy before doing so, and gave her another kiss in farewell. The woman walked off into the distance, and Sue and I ambled our way after her.

"Why did you tell her I was a girl?" I hissed.

Sue giggled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"Well what were you thinking of?" I demanded. "I had to pretend to be a girl for the whole journey once you'd done that!"

"I just sort of forgot," Sue replied, her amusement subsiding. "Don't let it upset you though, you did really well."

I glared at her for a moment, and then walked on. She was right I suppose, I had done rather well, although looking after Amy had seemed a natural reaction, rather than one forced on me by the need to look like a girl.

"We'd best go this way," Sue said, leading me away from the High Street, and towards her house by a more circuitous route. "You might be able to fool some people that you're a girl dressed like that, but it'd be better if we wait until you've got a skirt on to see David."

I followed her lead, but felt a sudden surge of panic. I hadn't told Sue of my resolve never to wear a skirt again. Wearing one had got me into so much trouble over the weekend, what with Anita, and Chrissie and everything. It just seemed so much more sensible for me to stick with trousers from now on; well, apart from when I was wearing costumes like I had to for the cheerleading, although, as I told myself, that wasn't really a skirt. I decided not to confront Sue with the news of my newfound obsession with trousers, and we simply walked around the streets towards her house.

Sue let us in, and shouted out a greeting to her Mum, who appeared from the front room. "Hi there Sue. Oh, and hello again Sarah."

"It's Steve," I mumbled, more for my own sake than hers.

"Yes, I'm sorry," she continued. "Let's have a look at you then. I don't think I've ever seen you dressed as a boy before."
Sue was hanging up her bag behind her mother. "This woman on the train thought he was a girl anyway, even dressed like that!" she announced, with a certain satisfaction in her face.

Her mother looked me up and down. "Well," she began doubtfully. "I suppose I can see why."

I felt myself blanche at this. Now even Sue's Mum thought I looked like a girl when I was dressed as a boy.

Sue's Mum shook her head. "Well it's nothing to be ashamed of. You wanted to see what being a girl was like, it's bound to affect the way you look."

Sue saw my embarrassment, and came to my rescue. "We've got to get down to the shop to see what the score is for the weekend," she explained. "We'll have to get changed first though."

"Of course," her Mum said. "I'll just carry on with the cleaning," and she went back into the front room. I heard the sound of a vacuum cleaner starting.

"Come on then," Sue said brightly, heading up the stairs. "Let's get changed. We need to make a good impression."

"Why? He's seen us before." I said, following her up the stairs.

"I know that, but if he's considering whether to keep the shop open or not, we need to make sure we look as smart as we possibly can. It might just sway him one way or the other."

I have to say that it seemed a little implausible to me that David's decision would rest on whether we looked smart or not. The decision was probably already made in any case, but I knew how much the job meant to Sue; the job and David, and decided not to say anything.

She led me up to her bedroom. "I think we'd be best off going in our uniforms," she announced. "You've brought your wig with you haven't you? And your bra and some underwear?"

I nodded, but I knew this was it. I had to tell her that I wasn't going to wear a skirt anymore. "Yes," I replied, but Sue continued before I could say anything more.

"Good! Your skirt and blouse and stuff are in here," she announced, opening the wardrobe. "Let's get started shall we?"

She started to undress, which disturbed me even more. What would her mother think if she knew we were both about to get naked in front of each other? I stared at her as she slipped out of her jeans.

"What's the matter?" she asked, catching my stare.

"Err, nothing," I mumbled. "Sue," I went on pleadingly. "I don't really want to wear a skirt today."

She stopped at stared at me in amazement. "What?" she asked.

I grimaced. "I don't really want to wear a skirt today. Or ever again." I announced. "It just seems to get me into trouble."

She looked at me incredulously. "But that's ridiculous!" she said at length.

"Maybe," I admitted. "But I've sort of promised myself that I wouldn't wear one."

She stared at me again. "But I don't understand," she said. "How are you going to work at the shop without wearing a skirt, assuming that David agrees to keep it open?"

I shrugged. "Well maybe I could wear a pair of trousers; smart trousers, you know."

She shook her head slowly. "I don't think so."

I felt embarrassed, and found myself looking down at the floor. "Well it wouldn't look too bad would it? Girls can look quite smart in trousers."

"I know that," Sue responded. "But you know Sylvia insists that we wear skirts."
"She won't be there." I pointed out.

"I know," Sue conceded, "But I can't see David wanting to change things too much while she's away."

I didn't know what to say in response, and kept silent. Sue too seemed at a loss for words for a minute or so.

"Well I suppose we could ask him when we get there," she said eventually. "Assuming he's happy to keep the shop open, we could ask him if he could relax the uniform rules a bit."

I looked up at her. This was good news. For the first time in ages, so it seemed, someone I knew was prepared to go along with me wearing trousers instead of a skirt. My euphoria was short lived however.

"But you can at least wear a skirt when we go and see him now," she went on. "The smarter we look, the more likely he is to let us keep our jobs."

My mouth fell open again. "Please Sue," I whined. "I don't really want to."

"What is it with you suddenly?" she demanded. "This is ridiculous, not wanting to wear a skirt! Honestly, apart from anything else, you had one on this morning."

"No I didn't!" I protested.

"You did," Sue insisted. "You must have done, for the cheerleading costume."

"Oh that," I said, relieved. "That's not a skirt!"

"What do you mean? Of course it's a skirt."

"No it's not. It's just the bottom half of the costume. It's not a skirt at all," I explained, smiling at her mistake.

"Let me have a look then," she demanded, obviously not convinced.

Shaking my head at her folly, I put my bag on the bed, and rummaged around, eventually finding the garment in question. I pulled it out, and held it up triumphantly.

"There you are!" I said. "It's not a skirt."

Sue took a couple of steps towards me, and took it off me, holding it out and examining it carefully. "Well if this isn't a skirt," she said at length. "I don't know what it is!"

"It's not!" I insisted, but somehow, something clicked in my mind that she was right. Of course it was a skirt! The barriers of denial I had constructed to protect my resolution were swept away by her logic.

"It's short, I'll give you that. You wouldn't catch me wearing it," she went on. "But I'm sorry to tell you Sarah, this is definitely a skirt."

I turned away from her, biting my lip. "Yes all right," I mumbled. "I know it is. I just didn't want to admit it to myself."

"But that's crazy!" Sue exclaimed. "You look really good in skirts. Why on earth would you want to pretend that you never wore them?"

I hesitated before framing a reply. "Because I'm a boy," I said, quietly.

She smiled at this statement. "Well, in a way. But in another way you're a lovely young girl called Sarah aren't you?"

"No," I protested. "Not really."

"You are! Don't be ashamed of it. It's good. I like you better as Sarah than I ever did as Steve."

I felt myself pouting at this unlooked for praise. "My name is Steve," I mumbled ineffectually.

"Yes. And your name is Sarah," she went on. "You're even wearing it around your neck."

My hands went up to my throat. To my dismay, I was indeed wearing the locket that proclaimed my name as Sarah to the world. I didn't even realise I had it on.

Sue came over, and put her hands on my shoulders. "You're really getting yourself in a bit of a mess about this aren't you?" she asked me, tenderly. I grimly nodded in reply. "Well don't!" she exclaimed brightly. "Just enjoy yourself. You can be Sarah and Steve if you want, it's good!"

I looked at her, as she stared earnestly into my eyes.

"I mean it," she said. "You're lucky. Because of the contest, you've blundered into discovering what a good girl you make, and I can tell you enjoy it."

"No I don't," I protested weakly. She looked at me, disbelievingly. "Well, not all the time anyway," I said by way of qualification.

"Just enjoy it!" she urged. "You've got a really lovely girl with the hots for you from what you tell us, all because she can see the girl in you like we all can."

I stared back at her. Was that true? Did Liz fancy me, because she could see the girl in me? She had more or less said so this lunchtime, when she told me that I was the girl, and she was the boy in our relationship.

"Don't think about it so much!" she urged me. "Just go along with it!"

She smiled at me, and I smiled back. We gave each other a little hug, and I felt better. There was something in what Sue was saying. Perhaps I did agonise about things too much. Perhaps if I just let things happen, and enjoyed them, then everything would be all right.

"Do you know," she said. "You won't thank me for saying this, but thinking about things too much is just like a girl!"

Oh God, this was even worse! Had I been tying myself into emotional knots because I had started to think like a girl?

She stood in front of me, carefully checking my face for any emotions in might be showing. "Now," she went on. "I really would like you to wear a skirt to go and see David. It means a lot to me."

I looked at her face, staring earnestly at me for an answer. Slowly, and with some hesitation, I nodded. "All right," I agreed. "But if he is going to keep the shop open, we'll ask him about wearing trousers to work?"

"Yes," she agreed. "I wouldn't mind being able to do that myself sometimes. Although if I had legs as good as yours I'm not sure I'd be so keen."

So that was that. My resolution not to wear skirts again was broken. We finished taking off our school clothes, and slipped into the shop uniforms, with the crisp blouses, and the tight, pencil skirts. As I put mine on, far from feeling upset in any way, I felt a surge of relief, and quickly went to look at myself in Sue's bedroom mirror to make sure it was hanging right. It felt good to put a bra back on as well, although I had only had it off since the cheerleading at lunchtime. As I looked at my boobs in the mirror, I thought again of Lawrence's bust forms, and how they had made his look so much more realistic. Mine suddenly looked disappointingly rigid and unnatural in comparison.

"Thanks for doing this," Sue said from behind me. "This job means a lot to me."

"I know it does," I said, returning her smile.

"For the money as much as anything," she continued. "You must feel the same."

"I don't actually get paid for working there," I reminded her. "Sylvia got me to do it to pay for Lawrence's dress for the contest remember."

She stared at me, and nodded. "Well, if David's keeping the shop open, we'd best see what we can do about that as well!"

My mind was suddenly full of the possibilities of earning some money. I might even be able to buy myself my own busts!

We went downstairs, and say to goodbye to Sue's Mum.

"Well that's better," she said, looking me over. "You looked a bit silly dressed up as a boy I have to say."

I smiled at her; she had meant that as a compliment I supposed. I'd be seeing her again shortly, since I'd have to come back, to change back into a boy in time to go home. It was a bit of a pity, because Sylvia's boutique was not that far from the station, and the diversion would considerably to my journey. That was more of a pain than it might otherwise be, because I wanted to get back home nice and early to start cooking the meal for Liz. Still, I reasoned, it wouldn't take David too long to tell us that he was shutting down the shop until Sylvia got out of hospital would it? Then it would be a quick trot back, trying not to get too involved in cheering Sue up about the news, and on to the train.

We walked briskly towards the High Street, looking very smart in our work gear. It surprised me to find that my shoes even felt like old friends, even with their heels, as well as the gentle swishing of my slip and skirt around my legs. We soon found ourselves outside the shop, and looking at each other, and wishing ourselves luck, we walked through the door.

David was sitting behind the desk, looking at a pile of papers. He looked up as soon as we came in, and a smile of relief flitted across his face. "Hello girls," he said. "Thanks for coming down. Hang on, I'll just put the 'closed' sign up, that way we won't get disturbed when we're talking."

He walked past us to the door, and turned the little white sign around, and shot the bolt. Striding back, he said. "Shall we have some coffee?"

"Yes," Sue replied. "But I'll make it for you David."

He resisted this suggestion a bit, but Sue was adamant, and went through the back to put the kettle on. David smiled vaguely at me, and started shuffling his papers around.

"How's Sylvia?" I asked, out of politeness.

"Oh, she's not too bad," he responded. "She's going to have to go to a clinic for a while, I don't know if Sue told you."

"She said something about it."

"Yes. It'll probably do her some good, to have a complete break from things. I wish I could sometimes."

He paused for a moment, and then looked up at me. "I don't know if I thanked you on Saturday," he said, obviously with some embarrassment. "If it hadn't been for you, and your prompt action, she might very well have died."

I felt myself blushing. "That's okay," I mumbled. "Anyone would have done the same."

"Maybe, but not her mad friend Cynthia. She's a bloody alcoholic I tell you; if you pardon my language."

I nodded; bloody was hardly the worst swear word he might have used.

"She's always encouraged poor Sylvia to drink too much. That's the root of the problem in my opinion."

It seemed to me that Sylvia was quite capable of driving herself to drink, without any intervention from her friend, but I thought it polite to simply nod in agreement.

Sue came back in with three steaming mugs of coffee on a tray, which she placed by the till. David thanked her, and took a sip from one of them.

"How's the week gone?" she asked him.

"It's been hectic!" he said, running his hands through his hair. "It's a real strain having to get over here every morning, and then sit here while my other business has to look after itself."

"I can imagine," Sue said, sympathetically.

"And to be honest, I've not taken as much as I should have done this week," he went on. "I had to go to a meeting yesterday, so the shop was shut all day. And tomorrow, I'll have to leave at lunchtime."

"Oh dear," Sue responded.

"And to be honest," he went on. "I think some of the customers are put off by having a man in here."

I felt a shiver run through me. If David really believed that, then there was no chance of me ever admitting that I was a boy.

"I shouldn't think so," Sue said to him.

"Oh I don't know," he went on. "There's been plenty of women who have just walked in and walked out again as soon as they saw me standing behind the counter."

"Well these things happen," Sue said soothingly.

"Anyway," David went on, rousing himself from his misery. "That's what I wanted to talk to the two of you about really. It's proving impossible for me to keep the shop running, and do my own work as well."

Well this is it, I thought to myself; he was leading up to telling us that the shop was going to be closed until further notice.

"Well I think you've done really well to try," Sue cooed, not missing any chance to praise David or his efforts.

"Well I don't know about that," he went on, with due modesty. "The thing is, I just won't be able to keep it up. It's doing my head in."

"Well we'll be here on Saturday to help, won't we Sarah?"

"Err, yes," I managed to say, looking furtively at the clock. If this took much longer, I was going to be pressed for time to get back to Sue's, change, get the train back to my place, and then cook a meal for Liz.

"Yes, that's all well and good," David went on, "but Saturday's not really the problem. It's the rest of the week."

"I can see that," Sue went on.

"And you're both at school during the week aren't you?" he pointed out.

"Well, yes, but we can still come around during the evenings to sort things out if it helps."

David smiled. "Well, it would help a bit, but to be honest, it's the middle of the day when I really need help."

"Yes of course," Sue replied.

"So to be honest, I think the only answer is to shut the shop until Sylvia gets back," he went on bluntly. I saw Sue's face fall immediately. I don't know what secret dreams she had been harbouring, but it was obvious they had all just been dashed.

"Are you sure?" she asked, with a pleading tone to her voice.

"Well yes," he went on. "I'm sorry and all that, but to be honest, I just can't manage I mean, I can do the books, and ordering and stuff like that in an evening, but to actually be physically here during the day is just too much."

Sue was obviously torn between a desire to be sympathetic to David's plight, and an equally strong desire to keep her Saturday job. The anguish showed on her face, and I felt a wave of empathy with her.

"Well school's out from the end of this week," I pointed out. They both turned around to me in surprise.

"What?" David asked.

"Well, school finishes this Friday." I went on, warming to the idea. "If you wanted, Sue and I could probably help out during the week after that, if that's any use that is."

There was no response from either of them for a moment, and then Sue's face began to light up. "Oh yes!" she exclaimed. "That's a good idea. We could run the shop for you, for six weeks at least over the summer."

David looked at her, with a furrowed brow. "Well, I would imagine Sylvia would be back before then. Still, you're both still quite young, I'm not sure it would be entirely legal to leave you in charge."

"We won't tell anybody if you don't," Sue replied, quickly. "I'm sure it would be all right."

What I had done suddenly began to dawn on me. In my effort to provide some relief for Sue's sorrow, I had probably condemned myself to spending the entire summer dressed as a girl. God, it had only been an hour or so ago when my resolution never to wear a skirt again was still intact. Once it had been broken, the waters had really come rushing through!

"Well I'm not sure," David went on, musing about the idea. "It sounds good in principle, but hadn't you both better ask your parents?"

"Mine will be fine about it," Sue stated firmly. "So will yours, won't they Sarah?" Her face dared me to disagree with her, but I did manage to say, "Well yes, bet I had better just check with them."

She glared at me for this. "Well I can't see them making any objection. So it's more or less settled then isn't it?" she asked triumphantly.

"Well I don't know about that," David went on. "I mean, you'll want paying I suppose?"

"Oh we can sort that out later," Sue announced brightly.

"Well, maybe," David went on. "I won't be able to pay you six times what you get for the Saturday you know."

"That's no problem," Sue said in a soothing tone, putting her hand on his arm. "We wouldn't expect it, would we Sarah?" Again, a look with daggers in it came my way.

There was a silence for a moment. "Well, I'll tell you what, let me go through some of these figures for a minute or two," David said. "And I'll come up with a figure of what we can afford. I don't want to do you down, but equally, Sylvia's not going to thank me if I bankrupt her is she?"

"Of course not," Sue replied, in a voice dripping with understanding.

"I won't be a moment," he added, shuffling some of the papers around. Sue walked across the shop, and ushered me towards the window, which was about the furthest point from the checkout.

"Don't put him off!" she hissed at me, in a whisper.

"I'm not!" I protested.

"You are!" she accused. "This is the chance I've been waiting for, to run the shop on my own."

I thought about this for a second. "You won't be running it on your own. I'll be here."

"I know that," she snapped, as far as one can snap in a whisper. "I can't see why you're stalling."
"It's a big step," I protested.

"What do you mean?" she demanded.

"Well, it means I'll have to be Sarah for the whole summer."

"Only during the day," Sue pointed out.

I looked at her. The daytime seemed a long enough proportion of six weeks to me.

"Come on Sarah," she urged. "It'll be good. We'll have some fun!"

I still wasn't convinced that I should give in to wearing skirts for six weeks.

"And you'll get Sunday off," she went on. "You can be as butch as you like on a Sunday."

"I'll think about it," I responded, trying to give myself time.

"He's going to want an answer today," she hissed.

"No he's not. He knows I've got to check with my parents." I pointed out.

She raised her eyes to heaven. "Well I really want this to happen," she stated. "And I just hoped you'd be my friend enough to help. If it was you, I'd help you out."

"What, by dressing as a boy for six weeks?" I asked, with a hint of sarcasm.

She glared at me. "If needs be!"

She walked away from me at this point, presumably to add to my feelings of guilt. I stared out of the window. I did like Sue as a friend, there was no doubt about that. But did I really want to commit myself to dressing as Sarah for six whole weeks, evenings and Sundays excepted, as Sue had pointed out? I idly looked at some of the tops for a moment, as my mind went around in circles. Perhaps it wouldn't be too bad if David agreed that we could wear trousers some of the time. Still, another part of me pointed out, wearing stiff posh trousers in the middle of summer wasn't going to be too comfortable. More comfortable than having to wear a slip and tights? Another part of me asked.

"Okay I'm ready," David announced, waving a piece of paper that he had been writing on. Glancing in his direction, I noticed the clock above his head; it said a quarter to four. This was taking way too long for my liking.

Sue and I went back over to the check out, and he put the piece of paper down in front of him. "There's a couple of things we need to sort out before we start talking money," he announced.

"Oh I'm sure we can sort everything out," Sue said, with another pointed glance at me.

"Well maybe," he went on, "but it's worth getting everything sorted up front, I always say."

"Shall we have another coffee?" Sue suggested. I despaired; at this rate I would never get back home in time to cook Liz her meal.

"Good idea," David replied, much to my annoyance. "I'll wait until you're back."

Sue brightly picked up the empty cups, and went out the back.

David stood there, twiddling with a pen between his fingers, while I stood pouting, wondering how I was going to get back home in time.

"You've not worked here long have you?" he asked me.

"No," I replied. "Last Saturday was my first day."

He nodded. "Yes, I thought so. Well, if we do go through with this, I hope you won't mind, but I'll have to make Sue the sort of boss."

I looked at him. "Yes of course. She deserves it."

He looked a little nervous. "Well she has got the experience. I mean, I'll try and get in everyday, to check that everything's okay, and to sort out the money and stuff. But while I'm not here, I think it would be best to have Sue in charge."

"Yes," I agreed. "But I still need to ask my parents, whatever we agree here."

"Of course!" he said, and then paused for a moment. "Would it help if I came around to see them, to explain what the score is?"

"No!" I replied, rather too quickly, and too loudly. I corrected my tone, and tried to wipe the horror of the thought off my face. "No, that won't be necessary. They know about what happened on Saturday anyway."

"Right," he said.

Sue came back in with fresh coffee for us, and we settled down to listen to David's proposals.

"Okay, first a couple of questions," he began. "Do either of you have any holidays booked that we need to know about?"

"Not me," Sue replied. "I'm available all summer."

"Good; what about you Sarah?"

Here was an opportunity for me to lessen the blow of having to spend six weeks dressed as a girl. I looked at Sue, who was staring at me intently, willing me to reply that I was similarly available.

"I've got nothing booked," I replied quietly.

"Well that's good then!" he said, smiling. "Next, I can't really ask you to work six days a week. That would be positively Victorian."

"I don't mind," Sue told him. "I'd be glad to."

He looked at her. "Yes, but it wouldn't be fair. No, you'll have to have at least one day a week off each."

Sue looked crestfallen again. "Well perhaps we could close on a Wednesday or something?" she suggested.

"Maybe," he conceded. "But I was wondering if either of you knew anyone else who could perhaps do two or three days a week."

Sue looked at me, and thought about his question. "What about Anita?" she asked me.

Oh God; the thought of spending days in the shop with Anita, now that she hated me so much, didn't really do a lot for me.

"Perhaps," I managed to say. "Or maybe Nikki?"

"Well we could ask them," Sue agreed. "I'm sure one or other of them will do it."

David looked first at me, and then at Sue. "And I suppose you can vouch for them being sensible girls like you two?"

"Of course!" Sue replied immediately. With rather more hesitation, I eventually nodded.

"Well it's important. Unless one or other agrees to come and do two days, and every other Saturday, I don't think I can in all conscience go ahead with this."

Sue looked across to me, and then back to David. "Well I'm sure I can persuade them. You leave it to me."

"Okay," he said. "And I'd quite like to meet them as well. Perhaps they could come in on Saturday?"

"I'm sure they will," Sue asserted.

He looked at her carefully. "Well okay," he conceded. "Right, now if we can sort that out, here's what I think we can pay you."

He held across a piece of paper with a figure on it that looked to me like a king's ransom.

"That's fine," Sue asserted. "You don't need to pay us that much, if it's too difficult."

"No that'll be fine," he told her. "I've gone through the figures fairly carefully."

He then turned to me. "And what about you Sarah? Sue's going to get a little bit more than you, because she'll be in charge."

"That's okay," I said. "But I still need to check with my Mum and Dad."

"Of course!" he agreed. "Good. Well, I think the best thing is for us all to think about this, and ask whoever we need to ask."

"Like Anita or Nikki," Sue suggested.

"Yes," he agreed. "And Sarah's parents. And we can make our final decision on Saturday." He suddenly looked surprised. "Oh I'm sorry!" he said. "I take it you are both coming to work here Saturday?"

"Of course!" Sue said immediately.

"Yes," I eventually said, half cursing myself for agreeing so easily.

"Great! Then I'll see you then.

I looked up at the clock above his head. It now said five past four. My chances of getting back home in time to cook the meal were receding fast.

"I've had enough here now," he went on. "I think I'll shut up shop for the night, and get back home." As an afterthought he suddenly said. "Can I give either of you a lift?"

"Not me," Sue said. "I only live a few minutes walk away."

"What about you Sarah?" he asked, putting on his coat.

This was it; a way I could get back home in plenty of time to cook the meal. The only downside was that I'd have to go back dressed as a girl again. Still, I reasoned, my Dad wouldn't be home yet, and my Mum seemed pretty cool about me being Sarah from time to time. I had told her that I wasn't dressing as a girl today, but maybe she wouldn't remember that, or perhaps I could tell her it was some other school prank.

He looked at me, waiting for my answer.

"Well if you wouldn't mind," I said meekly.

"No, it's the least I can do. Where do you need to get to?"

I told him.

"Oh that's more or less on the way," he announced. "Okay, no problem."

Sue looked at me suspiciously, and perhaps with a little jealousy. "Well all right then, I might as well go home," she said, not moving her eyes from me. "I'll see you at school tomorrow then Sarah," she went on.

"Yes," I agreed. "Bye Sue."

She stared at me with daggers in her eyes. "And don't forget to ask your parents tonight will you?"

"No, of course not." I responded. Sue held my gaze a little longer, and then, nodding, left the shop.

David and I followed soon after, and he locked the place up, before leading me around the back to his car. It was a short drive, and, despite my protestations, he drove me right to my house, rather than leaving me on the main road a few minutes away. I was relieved to an extent, since I meant I didn't have to walk through my home town dressed in my pencil skirt, but it did mean he now knew where I lived.

"I'll see you Saturday then, Sarah," he said brightly, as I stepped out of the car. I smiled back at him, and thanked him for the lift, before walking up the path, and opening the door, once again returning home dressed as Sarah.

  

  

  

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