Author's Note: This is a work of fiction. The characters of the story are all fictitious, and any resemblance to any real person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The events portrayed are likewise fabrications. This work also includes mature subject matter and may not be appropriate for those under the age of eighteen. No part of this work may be published, reproduced, posted or distributed in any form, including electronic storage and retrieval, without the prior express, written consent of the author. All rights reserved. Personal archiving for private use is approved
Toby St. James came from an artistic family. His father, Robert, was a music professor at the state university, as well as a voice teacher and the director of one of the most prestigious boys choirs in the country. His mother was a dance instructor and the director and choreographer of a dance troupe for teenage girls. Of course both parents went to great lengths to instill their love of fine arts in their children, so Toby and his older sister, June, were exposed to music and dance at a very young age. While June favored dancing Toby enjoyed singing, and by the time he was nine (the minimum age to join his father's choir) he was an accomplished boy soprano, with an amazing range and abilities far beyond his tender years.
Of course Toby learned dance too, and June was also an accomplished singer. Ballet, ballroom, folk and modern dance were as familiar to Toby as arias, cantatas and polyphony were to June. Pamela St. James, their mother, was well aware of the plebeian attitudes towards dance—especially ballet—that were harbored by most people, and she was determined that such prejudices would never infect her son or daughter. From the time they were toddlers she introduced them to the basics, and by the time they entered school they were graceful, nimble, and well-coordinated.
In all other respects June and Toby were normal kids. June was a tall girl with long, light brown hair that she spent hours styling, and Toby—two years her junior—was three inches shorter than his sister, but thin and wiry. His nearly blonde mop was just a bit long for a boy, but he kept it clean so his parents tolerated it.
Though slightly built, Toby enjoyed sports as much as the other boys his age. He especially loved swimming, basketball, and baseball, and his experience with dance actually helped with his coordination and flexibility. He was a guard on the basketball team, a shortstop in baseball, and he specialized in short sprints in swimming since he lacked the stamina for the longer events.
June wasn't interested in sports, except for the boys who played them, but she did enjoy cheerleading, which came absurdly easy to her with her dancing background. When she turned 14 she made the junior varsity squad and helped develop a few new routines.
Though neither of the St. James children was a genius they were both very intelligent, and they received exceptional grades at school. They were also well liked by the other students, though neither was at the top of the social food chain, such as it was in their school.
One day, as June and Toby were walking home from school with Lisa, one of June's friends and a fellow member of her mother's dance troupe, when they learned some bad news.
"Did you hear that Meg's dad lost his job?" Lisa asked.
"No," June replied. "When did that happen?"
"Last Friday. All the men in his department at the plant were laid off," Lisa explained.
How terrible! All those families!"
"What a crummy deal," Toby agreed.
"No kidding. Now it looks like Meg's dad is thinking of moving back to St. Louis. He's pretty sure he can get a job there."
"But, what about the troupe?" June asked. "Meg is in every number we do, and we'll never find another girl around here who could dance all our routines, much less someone her size."
"I think we're in trouble," Lisa agreed.
"Just great! We have the State Dance Competition and the big 4th of July performance, and seven or eight other smaller dates."
"Maybe they won't leave until you're done for the year," Toby offered hopefully, but Lisa shook her head.
"From what Meg told me they might even be gone before school ends," she reported.
Lisa left to go to her grandmother's house and the St. James children continued home, where June gave her mother the bad news. Pamela was nearly despondent when she heard what her daughter had to say.
"I'm afraid that if we lose Meg we'll have to withdraw from the State Dance Competition, and probably the other events too," she said with a sinking heart.
"But why—Can't we find another girl to take her place?" June pleaded—"Or maybe dance one girl short?"
"Honey, there are no other girls in Traviston that could possibly learn everything in time, and dancing one girl short is out of the question. All of our routines are set up for eight dancers."
"I'm sorry June, but unless you can find someone who can dance Slavic folk dances, Irish step, Hula, and who also happens to be the right age and height—We're in trouble.
June left the room in tears and Toby looked at his mother. She had tears in her eyes too, and he felt terrible for both of them—for all the girls. They had worked incredibly hard to get ready for their spring tour, and each girl had also made several costumes to wear for their different dances. Toby hoped something would change, and Meg wouldn't have to leave before their performances.
Unfortunately, Murphy's Law was in full force, and Meg's family left the following week, even before school ended. Her father had several "hot" job prospects, and he had to move quickly. About the only good to come of the situation was that Meg left her costumes for her replacement, assuming they could find one, but even that posed a problem. Any replacement would have to be approximately Meg's size, and she was the smallest girl in the troupe at four feet ten inches tall.
Meanwhile Pam had no luck at finding a replacement at any size. Time was growing short and the girls were getting desperate.
"It's no use," Pamela told her daughter. "There isn't one girl in this town that could possibly fill in for Meg. Finding someone with the years of training, not to mention proper age and height is impossible."
Toby and his dad were watching the evening news while Pam and June sat across from them discussing the problem. Suddenly June looked at Toby, then grabbed her mother's arm and pulled her into the kitchen. Neither Toby nor his father paid any attention, but June and Pamela spoke in hushed tones for ten minutes before returning to the family room. When the news was finished Pam grabbed her husband and led him to their room, where another discussion ensued.
Twenty minutes later the couple returned and took seats in the family room facing their son.
"Toby, your mother has a favor to ask of you, but before she does we want you to know that we will understand if you don't feel you can oblige her. Just keep in mind that she would not ask this if she wasn't in a tough spot," Bob told his son.
Now Toby was a good son, and he was actually a bit insulted that his parents thought he might refuse to help his mom, especially if it was something important.
"Whatever it is, I'll do—"
"Hold on son. Before you say anything you had better hear what it is," his dad advised.
"Okay." Toby nodded and looked at his mom curiously.
Pam took a deep breath and plowed right in. "Toby, I'd like you to fill in for Meg with the troupe," she disclosed.
Toby thought for a moment. "I don't mind," he agreed, "but won't it look a little strange with seven girls and one boy?"
"Yes, it would," his mother agreed. "That's why I need you to pretend to be a girl."
Toby stared at his mother open-mouthed, and she quickly explained.
"I know it's a lot to ask, but there is no girl in this town that can fill in for Meg. You've had the training, and though you don't know the exact routines I know you'll pick them up quickly. Another point is that you're only an inch or so taller than Meg, so her things will fit you, with few adjustments. If you don't agree all my work—all of the girls' work—for the past year will be wasted, and they'll be terribly disappointed," she added with a pleading tone she hadn't intended to use.
"But—a GIRL!" Toby protested. "I . . . it would be so . . . embarrassing. What if anyone found out?"
Nobody will say a word," his mom assured him. "If you agree they'll be very grateful, and June and I will make it absolutely clear that if any word of this leaks out it will be over, regardless of where it comes from, and whoever talks will be out of the troupe for good."
"Okay, but . . . I don't look like a girl," Toby gestured to his chest.
"Or down there," his mom agreed, pointing somewhat lower. "Don't worry, there are certain . . . devices you can wear that will help you fit right in."
As the silence lengthened Bob spoke up. "Son, I think I know what is bothering you, so I want to reassure you that I won't think you less of a man if you agree to do this. In fact, I think it would take plenty of courage to do this. Try to think of yourself as an actor playing a role."
Toby looked at his parents and made up his mind. "Okay," he agreed.
The following Friday, after school, Toby and his mom flew to Chicago. Pamela had made an appointment at a special shop that catered to the acting community, and Toby was fitted with a pair of top quality, silicone breast forms that had incredibly thin, feathered edges, and which matched his skin tone perfectly. He was also fitted for a very realistic gaffe and a flesh-toned, padded pantybrief that gave his hips and derriere the shape of a young teenage girl. The breast forms were extremely realistic and glued in place. Pam made sure she had an ample supply of glue, as well as solvent, without which the forms would be impossible to remove without minor surgery.
Pam had planned to stay the night in Chicago, and since she wanted Toby to become accustomed to his "disguise" she had brought a change of clothes suitable for a young girl his age. She did not wish to scare him off, so she decided on a pair of girl's jeans, a yellow sweater, thin white socks, and a pair of girls white canvas oxford tennis shoes. Along with that came a 32A bra.
Toby was stunned by the life-like breast forms and gaffe. After the fitting he appeared to have a girl's privates, and when he looked in the full-length mirror he appeared to have feminine breasts. The fit was perfect, an exact match to his skin tone, and he was unable to detect any trace of a seam where the breast forms joined his body. Worse yet, his new breasts shifted, jiggled and moved as if they were real, and Toby was all too conscious of their presence. Though he detested the idea of wearing a bra he was force to admit that he now needed one.
"They—they look so big," Toby grumbled as he gazed at his reflection, noting the dark areolae and the semi-erect nipples that crowned the breast forms.
The lady who ran the shop laughed. "They're only an A cup, which is perfect for a girl your age. You're just not used to having breasts."
"They're quite normal, honey," Pam said soothingly. "Once you get used to them they won't seem so large."
Toby wasn't quite convinced, but he allowed the shopkeeper to fasten the bra around him, and he was relieved that the bra seemed to restrain the movement of the breast forms, though it did make them appear just a little more prominent.
After getting into the padded pantybrief Toby slipped his feet into the white socks and struggled into the tight, girl's jeans. The jeans molded themselves to his legs and artificially widened hips and padded bottom, and when he slipped his shoes on and pulled the cable knit yellow sweater over his head he could not believe the image in the mirror. With his longish hair he looked completely feminine. From the softly rounded protrusions bulging beneath his sweater to his naturally narrow waist and augmented hips his reflection screamed GIRL.
"She looks absolutely adorable," the saleswoman gushed, and Toby turned to see a wide grin on his mom's face.
"Honey, I think this will work," she announced as she hugged her new daughter. "Thank you for being such a good sport."
Toby sat relaxing with the girls after practice. He was tired after the workout his mom put them through, and somewhat chagrined to realize that every one of the "other" girls was in better shape than he.
They were all dressed in identical outfits—white leotards, short black A line skirts, black tights, and black, patent leather dancing shoes with 1 ¾ inch chunky heels. With his "special equipment" Toby was indistinguishable from the others, and after a full week of practice—during which the girls constantly harangued him about his posture and deportment—his mannerisms were also indistinguishable from the others.
He was sitting at a table with Stacey and Heather, with his knees locked together and his hands in his lap, listening as the others discussed the upcoming state competition.
". . . but Northville will be the toughest competition," Stacey informed him. "I think—Oh my God, you're growing whiskers!" She said quietly, pointing at Toby's chin
"What? Where?" Heather asked, staring at Toby.
"Right there, on his cheek," Stacey nodded toward the lone offending whisker, which in truth was a pathetic excuse for facial hair.
Heather leaned in close for a better look. "It's only one, and it's very light," she announced.
"That's just the beginning," Stacey told them. "One day my brother had one or two, and the next week he had a five o'clock shadow."
"It's not a big deal—I'll just shave it off," Toby told them, rather proud that he was starting to show signs of manhood.
"That won't work. Even when my brother is clean shaven you can still see stubble."
"Well, what am I supposed to do?" Toby asked.
"I know," Heather spoke up. "My grandmother used to take some pills, and she told me they kept her from growing a mustache. She doesn't take them anymore, and she has several bottles full of them. Hundreds maybe. At least enough to last you until the spring tour is over. I'll bring some tomorrow, but don't tell anyone. I don't want to get into trouble for taking her stuff."
"Are you sure they'll work?" Toby asked.
"Sure, and you'll only have to take them for about five months, then you can get as hairy as you want—but remember, don't say anything to anyone, okay?"
"Okay," Toby agreed.
The next day, when no one was looking, Heather gave Toby a small plastic bag filled with large, white oval pills. Toby stuffed it in his gym bag, thinking that there had to be hundreds of the pills in the plastic bag.
"Wait," he said as Heather turned to leave. "How many pills do I take?"
"I'm not sure," she admitted. "One or two a day at least. Better try taking two to be safe. Guys have more whiskers than old ladies."
"Okay," he agreed, seeing the logic of her observation.
Toby hid the pills in his room and began taking two a day the next morning. A few days later he felt sick to his stomach and had to stay home from school, but the next day he felt a little better, and the day after that he was fully recovered.
In the meantime Pamela and June insisted that he wear his gaffe and breast forms as much as possible so he would become accustomed to moving like a girl. As soon as he came home from school he donned his disguise and wore a skirt or a dress. The indoctrination began to show positive results, and both June and Pamela noticed that Toby's posture, movements, and mannerisms were becoming much more ladylike.
For his part Toby was growing used to his role. The breast forms no longer seemed huge, and he had begun to unconsciously make allowances for his bosom and his wider hips and bottom. Even walking in heels no longer presented a problem, unless they were really high, but thankfully, most of his shoes had moderate heels.
Pam had even gotten Toby to learn makeup, and how to fix his hair and do his nails. She pointed out that even male actors wore makeup, and that he had to be convincing when they performed. "There won't be any private dressing rooms honey," she reminded him. "It would look odd if a teenage girl couldn't do her own hair or makeup."
Toby reluctantly agreed, and with June's help he became an expert with his hair, makeup, and nails.
Meanwhile the troupe practiced relentlessly, honing their skills and integrating Toby into their routines. Toby worked very hard to be the best dancer he could possibly be, and he began to get a charge out of performing the intricate steps perfectly.
After practice one night Pam watched her son and daughter talking with Lisa and Alice, two of the other girls, and she was struck by Toby's demeanor. He was giggling and gesturing in an animated manner—just like the "other" girls—and when the four locked arms and began doing an impromptu "can-can" Pamela was stunned.
'He really has great looking legs—Too nice for a boy,' she thought. 'Dancer's legs."
The preliminary round for the State Dance Competition was slated for mid May, and Toby was actually excited as the date approached. He told himself it was because of all the hard work he had put into the project, but there was more to it than that. In truth, Toby had bonded with the girls in the troupe, and they had accepted him as one of them. He enjoyed their friendship, even though it meant dressing, acting, and being considered female. To them he was just one of the girls, and even when they realized the difference they considered him a good sport and were grateful for his help.
During the past six weeks he had done all of the exercises and practiced until his leotards were stained with perspiration. Gradually his level of fitness rose and he could now do every dance step perfectly. He could kick as high as any of the girls, and he believed the strenuous exercise was responsible for a nearly ½ inch reduction in his already narrow waist.
He seemed to have entered a growth spurt recently, adding about a half inch in height and a couple of pounds, but fortunately no more whiskers had appeared on his face, and he decided to continue to take two of the pills Heather had given him every day. It was the least he could do, and he decided that waiting a couple of months to shave was not a big deal.
Toby had also let his hair grow since joining the troupe, and it had sprouted to just above shoulder length. He was in violation of school policy, but his mom had smoothed things over with the staff by telling them her son was to be in a play that summer and needed his hair long. It was still a touch short for a girl, but not too bad, and when the troupe prepared for the preliminary round of competition the girls brushed and styled it for him in a very cute, feminine style.
By the time of the preliminaries Toby had become an expert on attaching his breast forms, as well as doing his hair and makeup, and when he appeared on stage he was absolutely indistinguishable from the other girls. His mannerisms were perfect, and his movements and posture were completely feminine. In fact, he did so well that Pamela's troupe finished first, though the margin of victory was razor thin.
Everyone, including Toby, was overjoyed. They had narrowly edged out Northville and earned the favored spot for the final round of competition in two weeks. The other girls were very grateful to Toby for filling in, and he was smothered with kisses and nearly hugged to death, though he didn't mind one bit.
Two weeks later Toby, who was known as "Tammy" when he was in girl mode, struggled to get into his padded pantybrief before setting off to the competition. The pantybrief seemed increasingly tight to him of late, though the waistband actually seemed a little loose. If that weren't bad enough his chest itched like crazy and his nipples were puffy and very tender. Toby just knew it had something to do with the glue he was using to attach his breast forms, or perhaps it was the solvent. Both containers carried a warning about possible skin irritation, and when he mentioned it to June she gave him a tube of breast cream that her doctor had prescribed for her the previous year, when she had begun to "bud." Toby used it every time he removed the breast forms, and it did ease the soreness, but not the swelling, and it didn't stop the itching. He read the list of ingredients, and he knew what aloe and lanolin were, but not estrogen.
The troupe did a superb job at the State Finals. They performed three routines: the Irish step dance, the hula, and a modern dance routine that involved some very skimpy costumes and 2 and 3/8 inch high heel shoes. Toby was worried about how he would look in the tight, midriff-baring white top and the low-riding, black hot pants, but the others assured him he looked great. The heels had been difficult for him, and they ultimately proved to be the downfall of the group.
Near the end of the routine Judy caught a heel and nearly stumbled on a high kick, and though she recovered almost immediately the judges deducted a fraction of a point, and that proved to be the difference. They finished a close second.
Back in the dressing room Judy felt terrible and began to cry. The others, including Toby, hugged her and did their best to comfort her, telling her that it wasn't her fault. Pretty soon the rest of them were crying because they felt so bad for Judy. Toby found himself sobbing along with the others, and the tears just seemed to gush from his eyes, ruining his makeup. He simply couldn't help himself.
Pam watched her son engaged in the group hug and she was astonished by the emotional display. If she hadn't known better she would have sworn that Toby was completely female.
With school out for the summer June and Pamela and the rest of the troupe talked Toby into remaining as "Tammy" at least until mid July. The girls had several performances in addition to the big 4th of July appearance, and they reasoned that it would be a lot easier to remain "Tammy" than to shift back and forth. Besides, they had a few parties planned, and Toby would seem out of place while "Tammy" would fit right in.
Toby was reluctant to remain "enfemme," but he had bonded with the girls and he really enjoyed the camaraderie. He also thought that remaining "Tammy" might lessen the irritation of his chest. He was convinced that the daily use of the solvent was the reason his nipples, and now his chest too, were swollen.
But he wondered how they could pull such a thing off without anyone finding out. He pointed out that it would look a little weird if he suddenly started wearing girls clothes outside, but Pam had a ready solution to the problem. She and Toby would fly to Chicago again so Toby could spend part of the summer with his "aunt," and Pamela would return the following day with her niece "Tammy." Any resemblance would, of course be attributed to normal family resemblance.
Eric and Glen, two of Toby's friends, went along to the airport to see him off, not realizing that Toby's suitcase was filled with girls clothes—June's clothes, for the most part, which she had outgrown.
After Pam and Toby checked into their hotel Pam made an appointment with a beauty salon and ordered her son to don his disguise.
"Is this really necessary?" Toby asked.
"I'm afraid it is, honey," Pam told her child. "We need to change your appearance as much as possible to prevent anyone from connecting Tammy and Toby. It's for your own protection."
Toby nodded silently. He could see the logic in his mom's plan, and so he endured 2 ½ hours at the salon without protest. They added highlights to his blonde hair, cut and permed it, shaped his eyebrows, waxed his legs, gave him a professional manicure and pedicure, and finally, a full makeover. When they were done Toby could hardly recognize himself, and he was certain that nobody would connect him with the major babe that stared back at him in stunned surprise from the mirror.
Not only was "Tammy" hot, but she also looked a year or two older than her cousin Toby—Probably because of the makeup, Toby realized.
"With the right outfit, and especially some heels for a little extra height, nobody will ever make the connection," Pamela remarked, and Toby had to agree. The new Tammy was all-girl, gorgeous, and far more sophisticated than her boy cousin. Part of Toby was relieved that he looked so little like himself, but of him was embarrassed that he looked so beautiful.
The following day Pamela and Toby flew home—after a little shopping—and Toby's intensive 10 week course in girl training stood him in good stead. None of June's girlfriends outside the troupe suspected anything, and he was immediately accepted as one of the girls.
For the next two weeks "Tammy" practiced with the troupe as usual, and hung out with the girls during the day. She "met" most of the girls in her "cousin's" classes, and along with June she was invited to parties, including pool parties. Tammy kept her makeup perfect, and usually wore wedge-soled sandals, platform tennis shoes, or heels, depending on the occasion. Most people had the impression that Tammy was a bit taller than her cousin Toby, and a year or two older. Nobody had a clue that the pretty girl with the very feminine mannerisms was actually Toby St. James.
The only problem Toby had during this time actually resulted from his successful impersonation of a teenage girl. Marcie Anderson, a friend of June, invited him to a pool party. Since his entire group of friends was also invited Toby could not back out, and that meant buying a swimsuit. Toby was terrified of appearing in public in a girl's swimsuit, but June assured him they would find something "appropriate," that wouldn't embarrass him, and Pamela dropped them off at the mall one day to begin their hunt.
After an exhaustive search they finally decided on a suit composed of "swim separates," that included a modestly cut white top with a built in bra and a "racer" back, and a pair of tight, red swim pants that Toby could wear without his padded pantybrief. He would still need his gaffe, but since the pantybrief was not waterproof he would just have to look a bit skinny in the hips.
June was actually surprised how well Toby filled out his new suit, noticing that his tusch appeared nicely rounded even without the padding, and his "bust" actually looked larger than an A cup. She guessed it was between an A and a B cup, but dismissed the idea. Breast forms couldn't grow—naturally—and she decided the tight, shiny material of the suit simply emphasized Toby's curves in a flattering way.
But the suit wasn't responsible for her brother's narrow waist, which was thinner than her own, or his softly sculptured legs, which any girl would die for. June actually felt a pang of jealousy, which both shamed and amused her. She resisted the temptation to embarrass Toby by pointing out his more feminine attributes.
Before they left the mall Toby had also acquired a gauzy beach cover-up, a pair of beach sandals, and some stylish, feminine sunglasses. With those items Toby was ready for the pool party, or so he thought.
Pam was pleased with the image Toby presented in his new beach outfit. From the white hair band that held his lengthening, highlighted hair away from his cute face, to the pink nail polish on his toes, Toby appeared completely feminine. In fact, Pam thought Toby looked downright stunning—even more so than June—though she would never have said that to either of them.
Of course Toby's curves were artificial, she told herself, and though her son's "breasts" appeared a bit fuller in the suit his padded bottom was just adequate. It wasn't very curvaceous, but he did have enough padding to give him a slight hourglass figure, given his very narrow waist. Pamela still thought Toby's best feature was his legs. They were nicely sculpted and perfectly proportioned, with softly curving thighs and calves—and they were far too pretty for a boy.
What Pam did not know was that Toby wasn't wearing his pantybrief. Not only was it not waterproof, but it had become increasingly tight and uncomfortable to wear. One day Toby decided to try going without the extra padding, and when his mother praised his appearance he decided to abandon it completely. He reasoned that if he could pass without it in a swimsuit he really didn't need it, and since it was also hot, as well as too tight, the decision came easily.
When they got to the party Toby was shocked to see that Marcie had invited boys too. There were a half dozen boys from June's class, as well as Eric, Glen, and Matt from Toby's class, and Toby was terrified when he saw the guys he was used to hanging out with near the pool.
"What am I gonna do?" He whispered to June. "If those guys recognize me I'm DEAD!"
"Just relax," his sister whispered back. "Nobody is going to recognize you. Heck I wouldn't recognize you if I didn't know what was going on. Just pretend you don't know anyone and stay with the rest of the girls. You'll be fine."
June was right about nobody making the connection between Toby and Tammy. In fact, all three of Toby's friends, as well as several of the "older" guys hit on him during the course of the party. At first Toby was very nervous and shy, but as the party progressed and nobody seemed to have a clue to his true identity he began to gain confidence and relax.
While the guys goofed around in the pool and showed off Toby laid out with the girls, gossiping as they pretended not to notice the boys. During the afternoon it struck Toby that he had acted just like the guys at previous pool parties—the ones he had attended before his masquerade. But now he felt no need to show off for a group of girls, and the idea of rough-housing with a bunch of guys was a bit intimidating. Even the younger boys, the ones in his grade, were taller and far stronger than he was, and in fact he was in awe of Matt's broad shoulders and powerful arms. It seemed to Toby that Matt had grown two inches in the past month, and from the look of it Matt worked out regularly.
He, himself, hadn't touched a weight or worked out in nearly three months, aside from dancing, and Toby was quite aware that his lack of physical conditioning showed. While his muscle tone was good his shoulders remained narrow and his arms actually appeared thinner than before. His legs were in good shape, but they seemed very different from the guys' legs. While their legs were angular and muscular, with hair sprouting everywhere, his were smoothly shaven and almost shapely.
Toby felt puny and weak compared to the boys, but at the same time he was fascinated by the way his friends had developed. He was also flattered by their attention, especially by Matt, who was one of the most popular guys in the school, a star athlete, and a natural leader. Toby wasn't exactly a pariah, but he knew he wasn't in Matt's league, and it was a real boost to his ego to have Matt spend most of the day talking with him.
He had never realized what a nice guy Matt was before, or what a great sense of humor he had. Matt had a repertoire of jokes that kept Toby laughing for most of the day, and near the end of the party Toby realized that he was having a great time. At one point, when Matt returned to the pool for more male bonding and horseplay, Toby's eyes tracked Matt's movements, unconsciously homing in on him.
When he turned back towards the girls who were lying out near him several of the ones who weren't in on his little secret told him how lucky he was to have caught Matt's eye.
"I wish he had a twin brother—he's so cute," Penny Miller sighed.
"Yeah, and he has such fantastic blue eyes," Ginny North pointed out.
Toby turned once more and looked at Matt to avoid joining in the conversation. At that moment Matt turned and smiled at him, and Toby's gaze was automatically drawn to Matt's eyes, to see if Ginny was right, and he discovered that she was. Matt's eyes seemed to be an incredible shade of blue, and they sparkled from the sun reflecting off the water. The vision was hypnotic, and Toby was unable to look away until Penny poked him in the ribs.
"Try not to drool, Tammy. Make him work for it."
Toby was jolted out of his reverie by Penny's jab, and he looked at her in confusion.
Penny laughed. "Don't play dumb with me, girl. I saw the way you were looking at Matt—Not that I blame you."
"I wasn't—I really didn't . . ."
"It's okay, girl. I understand completely," Penny told him before she rolled over on her other side to talk to Ginny.
Toby was left staring at Penny's back, wondering why she had teased him. It wasn't as if he was attracted to Matt. He was a GUY for Pete's sake, and Toby wasn't interested in other guys. Not that there was anything wrong with Matt—He was tall and muscular for a boy his age, and Toby was willing to admit that most girls would probably think Matt was handsome.
But he wasn't interested in Matt in that way. Toby liked Matt because he had a great sense of humor and an easygoing manner. Matt was easy to talk to because he was so friendly, and he usually wore an expression that hinted of some secret joke he was bursting to tell. At first Toby thought Matt knew his secret, but one look at his eyes told him otherwise. They were friendly, open, and surprisingly compassionate. Toby knew immediately that Matt didn't have a clue about him. What's more, he sensed that Matt was someone he could trust and rely on in a crisis. Sure, he liked the guy, but not the way Penny imagined. He just wanted to be friends . . .
That evening Toby noticed he had acquired definite tan lines from his day in the sun, and those tan lines were undeniably the result of wearing a feminine swimsuit. The strap marks over his shoulders and across his back, the white, un-tanned area on his chest, as well as the too short un-tanned area near his crotch screamed "girl." He also realized that, even after his deception had come to an end he would be unable to appear in public without a shirt until the tan lines faded completely.
For some reason that notion upset him quite a bit, and he began crying softly. He tried to stop—It was silly to let such a small thing bother him like that—but he seemed unable to get control over his emotions, and the frustration of losing control just made things worse. He continued to sob quietly for some time.
When he was finally able to plug the leak in his eyes Toby sat down at his desk and began removing his breast forms. His mother had instructed him to take them off once a week for at least eight hours to allow his skin to breathe, and he was a day overdue this week. He took his time and worked carefully, because his chest felt tender and sore, though the cream June had given him had helped somewhat.
But this time, when Toby removed the silicone falsies, he discovered the swelling was worse. His nipples looked even larger than before, as were the dark circles of skin that surrounded them. That area looked darker too, and the circles actually pushed outward from his chest. The swelling had also spread beyond the dark circles too, and the cone-like bumps had become two shallow domes arching out from his chest wall.
Toby sighed and reached for the tube of cream June gave him. His nipples were still tender, as was the skin near them, though it didn't hurt as much as it had the last time. Perhaps the cream was working after all. He certainly hoped so because if the swelling continued it might look like he was growing breasts of his own. Just to make sure Toby spread a generous amount of the cream on his chest and worked it into his skin thoroughly.
After cleaning the breast forms Toby got into a pair of his own pajamas—a luxury reserved for the one night each week he didn't have to wear the breast forms. As he stepped into the bottoms Toby noticed they seemed a bit tight, though the waist was loose, and when he looked down at his feet he noticed that the legs looked a little short for him. He was ecstatic that he finally seemed to be growing. Being short was a real pain, and when he marked his new height on his closet door he discovered that he had grown about ¾ of an inch in the last three months. Finally, he was a bit over five feet tall! Later, in the bathroom, he also discovered that he had put on three pounds, which was also cause to rejoice.
Summer always seemed to pass too quickly, and before Toby knew it, it was mid July. The big 4th of July performance had been great, but the troupe still had a couple of smaller performances in August that were equally important because they were fund-raisers that brought in needed money for the troupe's operations.
But Toby's problems had grown worse, and there were one or two new ones that were equally disturbing. His nipples and chest had continued to swell, and Toby thought his unadorned chests were beginning to look suspiciously like his breast forms. There was also no doubt that his hips and butt had expanded too, and Toby had long since discarded his padded pantybrief. But now his bras felt tight, and it was becoming difficult to glue his breast forms over his dual-domed chest. Even worse, his gaffe was painfully tight around his hips, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to insert himself into the sheath. He could almost swear that his willie was shorter and thinner than it had been, but he couldn't be absolutely certain.
Nevertheless, Toby was embarrassed to discuss the problems with his parents, and there were only a few weeks to go until the ruse would come to an end. After over four months Toby decided he could stick it out.
Bob and Pam had grown so used to "Tammy" that they failed to notice anything unusual. Pam was aware that "Tammy's" hair was growing out nicely, and that her son had become very adept at using makeup and coordinating his outfits, but that was as far as her awareness went. So when Toby told her he had grown nearly a full inch and added four pounds, and that his clothes were becoming a little tight she gave him some money to go shopping. Since Toby knew what he needed neither she nor June felt the need to accompany him.
Toby hit the mall by himself, and it was a measure of how conditioned he was to feminine behavior that he thought nothing of entering the lingerie departments and specialty stores like Victoria's Secret, and calmly examining the merchandise. Four months before he would have died of embarrassment to be seen picking through bras, panties, and camisoles, but now it seemed perfectly natural. His only thoughts were whether a particular item would fit him, and how it might look with this outfit or that.
When he asked a saleswoman to measure him he discovered he was a petite size 6, with a 34 small B bust. The clerk suggested Toby try a padded bra, and brought a selection, including a couple with gel inserts. Toby declined the offer of a custom bra fitting and selected several bras, panties and tap pants. He tried the bras on in the dressing room, and decided to wear one of them, since they were much more comfortable than his old ones.
He stood in front of the store mirror, just outside the changing room, and examined his reflection critically. He turned one way, then the other, checking out the fit of his new jeans and top. He filled out the jeans quite well, though they were not skin tight, and there was some room to grow, and the white crop top looked pretty good too, leaving his midriff bare and exposing just the tops of his enhanced chest. Toby figured he could get away with the slightly lower cut top because the part that was visible was actually the top of his swollen chests—the seams of the breast forms were just beneath the material, and practically invisible in any case.
When Toby returned home Pam was rather amused to notice the significantly larger bust line her son was sporting, and she wondered what had possessed her son to buy a padded bra. She briefly considered the notion that Toby might be feeling "inadequate" or have a need to compete or at least fit in better with the other girls, but she discarded that idea immediately. Despite the unusual purchases she knew that Toby was only masquerading as a girl for June and herself, and she imagined that some teenage salesclerk had talked him into the padded bras.
She decided not to tease him about it. It fit in very well with the disguise, and Toby was being an awfully good sport about the situation. June could probably use the bras after Toby "returned home."
A few days later June and Toby met the rest of the troupe at a local park after dinner, just to hang out. "Tammy" got a few good-natured comments about her enhanced bustline, but before Toby could respond Matt, Eric, Glen, and several older boys appeared, and the discussion about Tammy's tits came to an abrupt end. Toby was glad to get off the topic, though the presence of the boys made him nervous.
Matt came right up to Toby with a big grin, and once again Toby was drawn to Matt's eyes. He smiled back when Matt grinned at him, an automatic reaction.
"Hi Matt," he said shyly, causing Matt's grin to widen.
"She remembers my name! That's always a good sign," he joked, and Toby had to laugh in spite of his nervousness. The laugh came out as sort of a giggle, and Toby's face reddened at the girlish sound.
The other boys with Matt joined the group, and Toby noticed that the girls all seemed to quiet down and become very passive. They leaned back against a fence or just sat on a picnic table as the boys seemed to take over the gathering. Toby watched the girls out of the corner of his eye and imitated their behavior, which wasn't hard because his own instincts seemed to match the other girls anyway. The boys seemed fairly assertive in a friendly way. They were just naturally energetic and impulsive, suggesting various things they could all do together, and the girls just seemed to go along, waiting for someone to make a decision. They were mild and tranquil compared to the boys, and that too seemed to match Toby's own mood. The enthusiasm of the boys was infectious, affecting the girls, and they smiled and giggled at the boys' antics and jokes as the adolescent ritual continued. Toby found himself smiling and giggling along with the rest of the girls, and part of him subconsciously enjoyed being an object of the boys' attention, while another part of him wondered where the guys got all of their energy.
In the end they all paired up and walked a few blocks to watch a local, amateur baseball game. After the game Toby came close to panic when Matt put his arm around his waist and helped him down from the short bleachers. He managed to keep his fear in check though, and the realization that Matt had to be very strong to actually lift him up like that—as if he weighed nothing at all—distracted him long enough that Toby didn't notice that Matt's arm was still around his waist as Matt steered him towards his house. By the time he became conscious of what was happening it was too late to pull away without drawing undue attention to himself, and Toby noticed that several of the other girls were also being "escorted" in a similar fashion.
Toby was very nervous and self-conscious as Matt walked him home, but quick glances at the girls assured him that nobody was paying any particular attention to him, or looking at him strangely, and he concluded that even the girls who knew his secret had begun to think of him as just another female—either that or they realized he was in an impossible situation. Either way, their lack of reaction helped settle his nerves, and he began to relax as they continued toward his house. Fortunately, when they got there Matt contented himself with a brief hug, then left.
The following evening Toby was involved in his weekly ritual, removing his breast forms, when he finally realized that something was seriously wrong. The swelling had actually accelerated, and there was now no doubt that he was growing breasts. The small mounds had enlarged alarmingly over the previous week—at least that was how it appeared to Toby—and they now seemed to have a mind of their own. They actually shifted slightly when he turned or twisted, and when he bent forward they hung downward, looking like inverted cones. His nipples were far too large, and both his nipples and the surrounding areolae were a rosy pink color. While his nipples were not much larger than before, they were super-sensitive, and just touching them caused them to grow even longer and thicker, and become hard.
June was out with her dad, but his mom was downstairs, so Toby threw on his robe and went to find her.
"Uh, mom? I think I might have a problem," Toby announced quietly as he entered the kitchen.
"Oh? What's the matter?" She responded, adjusting the dishwasher controls before turning to face her son.
At that point Toby became embarrassed again, and he hesitated a moment. "I . . . my chest . . . It's swollen, and it looks . . . kinda weird," he related, looking down rather than meet his mother's gaze.
"Well, open your robe and let me see," she instructed, and when Toby complied he heard a sharp intake of breath, followed by:
"Oh my GOD!"
Pam hustled Toby upstairs to his room, and after closing the door she directed her son to remove his robe entirely. When he did Pam took her son's arm and pulled him closer to herself. She examined the twin mounds on his chest and saw that his nipples and areolae were many times larger than what was normal for a boy. She also noticed that his shoulders were far too narrow for a growing boy, and that his hips and thighs had a definite feminine shape. His waist was tiny, small even for a girl. She ordered him to strip completely.
"Just do it," she ordered. "I'm your mother, and I've seen you naked many times before."
Toby blushed and turned his back as he worked his girl's jeans down his hips. As he did Pam saw the natural feminine flare of his hips and his fully rounded, teardrop shaped derriere. She was stunned at how well Toby's panties fit his girlish form, and when he finally turned around she was appalled by the sight of his shrunken little penis. From the look of it he wouldn't need a gaffe to pass as a girl except with the skimpiest of outfits, and for the first time Pam wondered if Toy's male equipment was okay.
"How—how long has this been going on?"
Toby shrugged. "I don't know, really," he replied. "It happened kind of gradually, and I don't know when I first noticed it."
Pam noticed that Toby had crossed his arms over his chest modestly, like any girl. She knew that a lot of his mannerisms had become feminine as of late, and she was beginning to realize why that was so.
No wonder, she mused. Her son had breasts that looked to be somewhere between a AA and an A cup, and a very nice figure—for a teenage girl. His hips weren't all that wide, but they were much wider than when she had taken him for his fitting in Chicago—and far too wide for a boy.
How could this have happened—And what could they do about it? Pam knew she had to call their family doctor, and that she would have to tell Bob about this. Even though Bob was fairly open-minded she wondered how he would take the news, and she couldn't quite shake the feeling that whatever was happening had something to do with Toy's helping her out.
The entire family looked grim as they drove Toby to their family doctor. Bob had not taken the news well, and though his only concern was for his son's health he was undeniably angry with Pam for not discovering the problem sooner. In truth, he knew that whatever was wrong with his son, it had to have something to do with the impersonation.
Toby was dressed in a pair of girl's jeans and a baggy sweatshirt. His new shape required him to wear a pair of panties instead of boy's briefs, which was a source of great embarrassment to him, though not as much as having to wear a bra to his doctor's office. Ironically Toby was able to fill the cups of his older A cup bras pretty well, and they were actually a bit small for him when he used the pads from the new bras he had purchased. Today he was not using the pads, of course, but when he did he looked almost as large as he had using the breast forms.
Phil Grant, Toby's doctor, was shocked by the boy's appearance, and he soon got Toby to admit that he had been taking the pills that Heather had given him. After drawing blood samples Dr. Grant made Pam promise to bring in the pills, then admonished Toby for taking a prescription medication without the approval of his physician. Then he measured and weighed Toby, and when he saw the condition of his genitals he announced that he was referring Toby to an endocrinologist for further tests and treatment.
Before the family left the office Dr. Grant had a word with Bob and Pam in his private office.
"Bob, Pam, I hate to tell you this, but Toby may have seriously hurt himself," he informed them.
"Can't you just give him hormone shots to get him back to normal?" Bob asked. But Phil Gant shook his head.
"I honestly don't know, Bob," he replied. "This is outside my area, but I do know that it is possible to cause irreparable damage by taking hormones. This could also be complicated by Toby's age. He was just entering puberty when he began taking the medication, and that is a sensitive time in the development of young bodies. From what I can tell Toby has been taking large doses of female hormones for about five months.
"His breast development is actually the least of his problems, though it is symptomatic of the overall effects. His pelvis has widened considerable, like a young woman's, and his secondary sexual characteristics and body shape are all consistent with a teenage girl in the midst of puberty. His shoulders haven't developed, his height and weight have been affected, and even his facial structure and voice are feminine. But the worst aspect is the atrophy of his genitals, which about the size I would expect for an eight or nine year old boy, and if there has been any damage to his testes he could have problems developing normally. This could include impotency and erectile problems."
"Oh my God!" Pam breathed, and Bob just sat still with a stunned expression on his face.
"Isn't there anything we can do?" Bob pleaded.
Phil shrugged. "This is a job for a specialist. We won't know anything until Dr. Kerensky has had a chance to examine Toby and run some further tests. Until then, keep your fingers crossed.
"In any event, you can expect further changes since it will take some time for the hormones to leave Toby's system."
"But, Toby has to start school in one month," Pam pointed out. "Is there any chance he'll be back to normal by then?"
"Pam, like I said, I'm not an expert in this field, but I know of no way to reverse the changes I've observed in such a short time. Some of the changes may well be irreversible, and some could require surgery to correct. I think you need to consider having Toby attend school as a female, at least for the first half of the year . . . I'm sorry."
Naturally, Toby would stop the pills immediately, but when the family left Dr. Grant's office he hadn't thought to mention the breast cream June had given him. It never occurred to him.
The entire family was devastated by the news, and Toby cried for hours in his room, cursing himself for being so foolish, and now for being unable to control his emotions and acting like the girl he appeared to be. He did not realize that his runaway emotions were yet another result of the hormones. Bob was also in rough shape, wondering whether his son would ever be a man, but Pam and June felt worse than either Toby or Bob. They both realized that Toby wouldn't be in this situation if he hadn't been trying to help them out, and worse, he wouldn't have agreed to do it they hadn't pressured him into it and arranged the elaborate ruse. In retrospect Pam could recall all the indications that something was wrong, and she blamed herself for not investigating at the time. She hadn't delved into Toby's actions and mannerisms, or questioned the little things that now seemed so important because they had fit in nicely with her plans. Now, Toby was in danger of paying a steep price for his cooperation.
The news from the endocrinologist was the worst—everything they had feared, and more. She explained to Bob and Pam that the massive doses of estrogen Toby ingested had literally overwhelmed his endocrine system, and his testes had in effect shut down. They no longer functioned. He was completely sterile and impotent.
Further, the doctor informed them that, in her opinion, there was a danger of his now useless testes becoming infected, and they should consider having them removed. When Bob heard all this he became despondent.
"Isn't there anything you can do?" He pleaded. "What about testosterone injections? Couldn't he at least regain some of his ability? Maybe over time he would get better."
Dr. Nancy Kerensky shook her head sadly. "Mr. St. James, Toby could not have chosen a worse time to take those pills, especially in such large doses. He was at the cusp of puberty, and the estrogen first confused, then completely overwhelmed his system, causing irreversible changes to occur. You already know that his pelvis has widened considerably, according to female norms. His testes are completely non-functional, and his growth has been retarded. Surgery could remove the breast tissue, of course, and also perhaps some of the fatty deposits in his hips and buttocks. Testosterone could cause the growth of facial hair, and perhaps alter his facial structure somewhat, but that's about it. He will always have a wide pelvis, and his genitals will never develop like a normal male. He would not be capable of an erection without a mechanical implant, and even if you did opt for surgery he will always be very small for a male and have a very high voice and feminine features.
"And his body is still changing, reacting to the residual estrogen in his system. We can expect that to continue for some time and there is nothing we can do about it. I don't dare put him on an aggressive hormone regimen for several months, and by that time . . ."
"So, what are you recommending, doctor?" Pam asked as she wiped her eyes with a tissue.
"At this point I don't believe we have a lot of options," Nancy Kerensky told them. I firmly believe that Toby's best chance at a normal, fulfilling life is as a female, but it's not my decision, or yours. The first thing we need to do is obtain the services of a good psychologist for Toby. We need to help him come to grips with the changes to his body and see whether it would be possible for him to accept a permanent female identity. If not, well we'll deal with that after we see the psych reports.
After the meeting with Dr. Kerensky Pam made preparations for "Tammy" to attend school at the local high school as a freshman. Both Dr. Grant and Dr. Kerensky arranged for appropriate documentation to keep Toby's real identity a secret. A birth certificate and school records were obtained, and Dr. Grant wrote a note to the school to have Tammy excused from physical education classes for health reasons. Everyone was anxious to protect Tammy's true identity to keep Toby's options open, in case he wanted to try to resume his life as a male, but he agreed to remain incognito for the time being. Meanwhile the changes continued to manifest themselves, and with each passing day Toby realized that "going back" was becoming more and more problematic.
By the time school resumed Toby's breasts were a small A, and the gel pads gave him a very respectable bust line. His waist was down to 23 ¾ inches, and his hips had expanded to 31 ½ inches. His features were far too delicate for a young man, and his lips had developed a very kissable pout. His yes appeared larger, and he had no thyroid cartilage or brow ridge over his eyes. In fact, he was quite beautiful, but the most telling change was elsewhere.
Before the masquerade Toby had experienced an occasional involuntary erection, and even one or two "accidents" while he slept. But that was all in the past. There had been no "accidents" for several months, and no involuntary erections either. After the first doctor appointment Toby intentionally tried to attain an erection without success. He tried to stimulate himself by recalling how some of the girls in the troupe looked in their bras and panties—something he'd seen quite often—but it wasn't enough to get him excited. In fact he got more response, though not what he expected, when he inadvertently thought about Matt kissing him than when he conjured up images of semi-naked girls, and he found that troubling.
Just before school resumed Pam and June had taken Toby shopping for clothes. Though Toby had access to June's hand-me-downs both his mother and his sister knew he needed some items of his own. It would look odd if Toby's female cousin had nothing to wear but June's cast-offs. Besides that, his changing measurements meant a new wardrobe was needed.
June served as fashion consultant, while Pam acted as the moderating influence, and between them they managed to outfit Tammy with a basic wardrobe that was stylish, yet not too provocative. Toby acquired several pairs of slacks and jeans that were a bit tighter than his others, a pair of capris, a couple of purses, a girl's backpack, and several skirts. For the most part the skirts were short and tighter than Pam would have preferred, but not as outrageous as June would have bought on her own. A jacket, a winter coat, and several pairs of shoes completed the purchases.
Per June's instructions Toby wore a short black skirt, a white ribbed knit short-sleeve top, and platform sandals on the first day of school. His honey blonde hair was now about a foot long—just below shoulder length—and his face was made up perfectly. The coral pink polish on his fingers and toes matched the light coat of lip gloss he wore, and his small black shoulder bag contained all the necessities any teenage girl would need—including two tampons, "just in case."
Toby was nervous and jumpy about going to school again. It had been decided that he could skip a grade due to his exceptional marks, entering high school as a freshman one year early, but there would be plenty of kids there who knew Toby, and he was well aware that it took only one slip to cause a disaster. Fortunately Toby remembered to answer to "Tammy," and to stay out of the boys' bathroom. June and the other girls from the troupe introduced him to more of their friends, and Toby found a safe haven with the girls during their lunch period.
The boys at the school seemed to be paying a lot of attention to "the new girl," and Toby wondered why they seemed to be staring at him when there were so many real girls around, some of them very pretty. The stares made him even more nervous, at least the first morning, though by the afternoon he noticed he wasn't the only "girl" was being checked out. After that he was able to relax a bit.
Matt was in two of his classes, and Toby noticed he received some sour looks from the girls in those classes when they saw Matt smiling at him or when they talked in the hall between classes. In a moment of weakness he had given Matt his phone number when Matt claimed he wanted to talk about a project for history class. It wasn't until he saw June at the end of the day, and saw her reaction to the news, that he realized the history project had been just a ploy to get his number. After all that had happened June did not tease Toby about giving a boy his phone number.
The question of whether Toby should have the oriechtomy was resolved that evening, when Toby felt a tenderness in his groin. His genitals were sore and somewhat swollen, and when he reported the problem to his mother she called the doctor immediately. Fortunately, school had begun on a Friday, and Dr. Kerensky had already discussed Toby's case with her surgeon-husband. The hospital was alerted and the surgery was scheduled for the following day. Though momentous in its impact the oriechtomy was actually considered fairly minor surgery, and the main reason Toby had to arrive so early was to allow time for testing and lab results. The surgery itself would take about an hour.
While they waited for the lab results Dr. Alan Girard, Dr. Kerensky's husband, called Bob, Pam and Toby into his private office, along with his wife. He explained the procedure and answered the family's questions, then suggested that Toby also consider a "cosmetic" procedure that actually involved no incision. Using a type of surgical glue Dr. Girard could conceal Toby's penis inside of him and re-shape his empty scrotum to resemble a girl's labia. This would make Toby indistinguishable from a "genetic" female, and was completely reversible. The doctor pointed out that the procedure would eliminate the need for a gaffe and allow Toby to pass as a female for all practical purposes, except one.
Toby and his parents were surprised by the suggestion, and they discussed it for nearly an hour with Dr. Kerensky. She pointed out that the procedure would virtually eliminate any chance of accidental discovery, and that without the need for a gaffe Toby could do anything the other girls did.
Toby was reluctant at first, but he did hate wearing a gaffe, and the procedure wasn't actually going to remove anything more than what he was losing anyway, so he eventually agreed. It was ironic that the procedure to make him look completely feminine was also his best insurance against discovery—which would allow him to go back to being a boy without tons of personal embarrassment.
Toby awoke from his procedure feeling numb, groggy, and thirsty. The whole family was gathered in his room, and received hugs from everyone, along with assurances that everything had gone perfectly. After a few minutes Drs. Girard and Kerensky came into the room with a nurse, and after shooing June outside Dr. Girard explained again what he had done and pronounced the operation "perfect." He gave several orders to the nurse and prescribed antibiotics and pain medication for his patient.
Bob and Pam were stunned by the sight of their son's re-configured groin. Neither could see any difference between Toby and what a "normal" female possessed. Though it was painful to both parents, and especially Bob, they were both more or less reconciled to the fact that Toby's best hope for a "normal" life was probably on the distaff side of the great sexual divide.
Finally, Dr. Girard ordered everyone but the nurse out of the room, and he sat down and taught Toby some of the basics facts of life with his altered anatomy. Toby paid close attention to everything the surgeon told him, relieved to be reassured yet again that the procedure was reversible, and surprised to learn that he would be released later that day.
Toby was sore for the remainder of the weekend, but he was able to attend school on Monday. Ironically, he discovered that a skirt was far more comfortable than tight jeans or slacks, given his still tender groin. At the same time the ability to do without a gaffe was a very positive development. Toby also discovered that his panties fit a lot better, even with a maxi-pad covering his new equipment. By the end of the day Toby had begun to subconsciously associate wearing skirts with a feeling of comfort and freedom.
Of course the surgery necessitated that Toby always had to take a seat in the restroom, but he had been doing that regularly for months anyway, so there really was no practical downside to the surgery except for the discomfort, at least in the short term. In fact, Toby found he was more self-confident in the girls' restroom, and after a week or so it seemed perfectly normal to him, though he found it difficult to get used to the sight of his remodeled groin.
That surprised him on those rare occasions when he actually gave it any thought, but he was even more surprised at his reaction to the other denizens of the girls' room. On several occasions Toby had come across girls changing tops or skirts, or performing some emergency repairs on their outfits that left them in various states of undress. On those occasions Toby just took it all in stride, and he didn't even need to remind himself not to ogle the girls. Though some of them were quite pretty Toby felt no desire for them—only an odd curiosity on how his current appearance compared to the others.
On the other hand boys seemed increasingly like aliens to him. After living as a girl for nearly six months, constantly surrounded by girls and subject to hormones and female influences, Toby had begun to subconsciously identify with females and the feminine point of view. Boys seemed loud, boisterous, aggressive, and at times unfeeling. They were self-centered, and tended to show off, and they seemed to be engaged in a constant struggle for dominance.
Toby no longer felt any need to show off or prove he was better than someone else. The girls simply accepted him as one of them without any of that nonsense. He recognized that his attitudes had probably changed a bit in the past six months, though he wasn't aware of the magnitude of his emotional re-alignment.
He also found it increasingly difficult to recall exactly how it felt to be a boy prior to his great impersonation, or to recapture his former attitudes. He remembered that he had been a lot more active, with tons of nervous energy and an affinity for sports, but the subtleties, the "flavor" of being a teenage boy seemed to have escaped him. He still enjoyed sports, but his competitive drive had waned, and now he saw sports as opportunities for interesting physical exercise and a chance to socialize with his friends, rather than as competitive events. He also sensed he was a lot calmer now, even though his emotions seemed closer to the surface and played a greater role in shaping his outlook.
Toby really didn't want to try out for the cheerleading squad but June and several of the other girls badgered him into it. He had already agreed to dance with the troupe again that year, and June knew his dancing skills would make him a natural for cheerleading. Besides, several of the girls from the troupe were also on the varsity squad, so Toby would know most of the cheerleaders.
He made the squad easily and began regular practices in his second week of school. Compared to the precision and difficulty of his mother's dance routines Toby found the cheers absurdly simple, though the cheers did contain some provocative movements that made Toby a bit uneasy since they involved flaunting his newfound feminine charms. By that time his breasts filled his A cup bras without padding, and his figure had evolved to 34-24-32, so when he strutted his stuff it was all real—no enhancements necessary.
The cheerleaders practiced outside when the weather was nice, and of course the sight of twelve pretty girls dancing and sashaying in rhythm drew boys like free food, insuring that there were always some guys hanging around the periphery. The cheer advisor was able to stop the lewd comments made by some of the boys, but she was unable to prevent applause, whistles, and the occasional comments like, "Wow! Did you see that?"
That was the worst part for Toby. At five feet, three-quarters of an inch and 96 pounds he was the smallest cheerleader, which meant that he was the one that was tossed around during the routines. Every time he was lifted or sent airborne, and even during the more sedentary routines, his breasts bounced and jiggled, eliciting catcalls from the male spectators.
At first Toby was extremely embarrassed by the boys' reactions, and his face often turned beet red. As time went on, though, he grew more used to the attention and became better at simply tuning it out. He concentrated on the routines and largely ignored the cheers and whistles. After a couple of weeks the commotion just seemed to fade into the background, and he discovered he was even able to joke about it with the other girls.
If the attention had stopped there everything would have been fine, but some of the boys weren't satisfied with the free show, especially some of the seniors and juniors. Ordinarily freshmen girls were below the radar for upper classmen, but the older boys seemed to find Toby incredibly hot. There was something about the petite cheerleader with the gorgeous looks and wide, innocent eyes that attracted them, much to Toby's dismay. He received quite a few requests for dates and several indecent proposals.
It was one of the off-color suggestions that led to the trouble. Toby was the top cheerleader in a three-tier human pyramid, and the girls had "dismounted" by leaning forward, making it appear that the pyramid was falling towards the imaginary fans, but at the last moment each girl put her hands straight over her head and used her momentum to cartwheel forward and spring to her feet. At the end of the movement the human pyramid became a horizontal triangle formation with Toby at the apex, nearest the crowd.
The move came off perfectly, but when Toby popped to his feet his short skirt flew up, exposing his shapely bottom, and his breasts bounced not once, but twice—very noticeably. A few minutes later, as the practice was breaking up and Toby was headed to June's car, Ray Hamblin, a senior and a football player, approached him.
"Hey pixie, I like your looks. You're a bit young, but I think I'll take you out tomorrow and give you a chance to see what it's like to be a player's lady."
Toby bristled at being referred to as "pixie," and he scowled to himself. "No thanks," he replied, not bothering to even turn and look at the big senior.
"You don't understand," Ray said forcefully, grabbing Toby's arm and spinning him around. "I'm taking you out Friday night."
Before Toby could tell off the arrogant ass another voice spoke up.
"Leave her alone, Hamblin."
Toby and his tormentor both turned to see Matt striding over to them.
"Get lost, you little prick," Ray said with a menacing look in his eyes.
Matt paused a moment. He was a year older than Toby, a true freshman, and even though he was on the freshman football team and had grown over the summer he was only about 5 feet 10 inches, while Ray was a good six feet three and 40 pounds heavier. But nobody was going to make him back down at that point. He knew he didn't have much chance against Ray, but he was infatuated with Tammy and he wasn't about to let some goon paw her or embarrass her. Besides he couldn't let Tammy see him back down now.
"Let her go," Matt repeated with a slight tremor in his voice.
"Get outa here or I'll break your face," Ray stormed, causing some heads to turn.
As more students converged on the scene Matt shook his head. "Get off on pushing women around, Ray?" He sneered at the older student, putting up a brave front.
Ray released Toby, and in one fluid move sent his fist crashing into Matt. Matt managed to flinch slightly before the impact, but took the full force of Ray's fist on the side of his head. The punch staggered him but he managed to maintain his balance—barely—and throw a weak punch that Ray deflected easily. At that point Ray began pummeling Matt, whose legs buckled under the onslaught. He went down in a heap as Toby screamed his name.
Ray was restrained by a few other football players who arrived too late to stop the beating, and Toby bent over Matt as Ray was dragged away to keep him from killing the younger boy.
"Oh God, Matt—I'm so sorry!" Toby sobbed as he hovered helplessly over his beaten protector. Matt's face was covered with welts and abrasions, and was nearly swollen beyond recognition.
"I'll be okay," Matt insisted stubbornly as he tried to sit up, succeeding only with Toby's help.
But he wasn't all right. He had a black eye that was nearly swollen shut, a bleeding lip, a large welt on the left side of his jaw, and another on his cheekbone. He was spitting blood, and he looked like he'd been run over by a truck.
June arrived a moment later, having seen the brief, savage fight from the door of the gymnasium, and she helped Toby get Matt into the car. Since Matt's parents both worked outside the home they took the injured boy to their house, where Pam helped them clean Matt's wounds and treat them with disinfectant. Matt was given a bag of ice for his eye, and they talked about what had occurred as they sat around the kitchen table.
"That big bas—"
"Tammy! Watch your mouth," Pam admonished her child, seeing the anger in Toby's eyes.
"Well, he is," Toby defended himself.
"I think we should tell the school what happened," June opined, "and maybe even call the police."
"No! Don't do that!" Matt said forcefully.
"Why not?" June asked.
"Just . . . let it be. I'll be all right," Matt insisted.
Toby knew why Matt didn't want them to call anybody about the beating. There was still enough of his old self left to know that Matt would be branded a "snitch" for complaining to any authority figure about the beating. Eventually this would be forgotten, and it was no disgrace for Matt to come out second best against a large senior football player. But if he went to the school administration or worse, the police, his life would become a living hell at school.
Later that night, after Matt had been picked up by his mother, Toby explained the facts of life about boys to his mother and sister, and when Bob came home he confirmed Toby's diagnosis to his wife and daughter.
"Well, that's just great!" June groused. "That S.O.B. nearly murders Matt and there's virtually nothing he can do about it."
"Not quite," Pamela disagreed.
"What do you mean?" June asked, and Toby found he too was curious about what his mother meant.
"Let's just consider what Ray was after when Matt intervened," Pam told her family.
"He was after ME!" Toby answered.
"Correct," Pam replied with a smile, "and Matt stopped him from pushing you around.
"I think'distracted' would be a better choice of words," Bob noted, "and in so doing he got himself beat up pretty badly."
"Right again. But he got the job done," Pam responded. "In effect, Matt sacrificed himself for you," she said as she stared at her erstwhile son. "Which leads us back to the question of how to get back at that . . . 'gentleman."
"I think the worst thing you could do to him is make a big fuss over Matt for protecting you and saving from Ray," Pam continued.
"Hear me out," Pam continued, holding up a hand to silence Toby. "Matt can't say anything about what happened, but YOU sure can. Let it be known that Ray puts his hands on you and tried to force you to go out with him, and that Matt came to your rescue. That should make him very popular with the girls.
"Walk to class with him and socialize with him when possible. We already know he's a good kid and wouldn't take advantage of you."
"That might be a good idea," Toby's father chipped in. "Matt would look like a real hero, taking on a senior twice his size—which by the way he really is—and, even better, he sure won't try anything with you because he wouldn't want to lose the esteem from you and the other freshmen."
"But . . . You're saying you want me to be Matt's girlfriend!" Toby objected.
"Not really, but this will also help you avoid any more incidents like today, and the other guys will stay away if you're 'interested' in Matt," Bob told his son. "I think it's a win-win situation."
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