Crystal's StorySite


Drummer in High Heels

by Abby Rhodes



The trip to LA took about six hours. I was jammed in the back between Carla and Xenon (that isn't a complaint) and that gave me control of the sound system. I'd been invited to play my favourites so the other girls could get some idea of what I liked musically. I knew a lot about their tastes but they didn't know much about mine. I'd been warned in advance about this and I had three dozen CDs with me and I did a Best Of Alysa on the long trip.

I'm sure the sides of the van were bulging in and out with the sheer volume of the system, cobbled together by Hyatt from old sound equipment and a very good CD player. I played Little Feat and Bonnie Raitt, Dr John and Bela Fleck, George Thorogood and The Clash with some more recent stuff off the top twenty and some electric belly-dance music. (A word of warning – there is good electric belly-dance music and bad electric belly-dance music.) I think the girls were impressed with the variety of stuff I liked and the six hours went by quickly, interrupted only by a three or four bathroom stops. That was interesting, using the little girls room in a gas station. Another first! Carla drove the van. In fact she wouldn't let anyone else drive it. It was one of her few major assets and by God she was going to look after it.

Around noon we pulled up outside the record company's building and wandered inside. To our surprise, we were told there were no auditions scheduled for that day and then, just as Blanche was working up to taking the receptionist outside and beating her up, we were told by a cheerful and upbeat Marcus Cod, who passed through the lobby at exactly the right moment, that there was no audition scheduled because we were playing at the House of Blues that night. It seemed that the scheduled band had a run-in with the law and three of the band members were waiting for their lawyers to get to the station so they could be interviewed about certain substances found in a guitar case, a music stand and a mixing desk. Serious substances.

We all had a sudden urge to freak out and run.

"Relax, girls," said Marcus. "Hey, you're at least as good as and probably better than the other band and a fucking sight prettier. Look, just cruise on up to the HOB on Sunset, get your gear set up and do a sound check. You're on at 10.30 tonight and all the guys from the record company will be there, including yours truly, and we have a few specially invited critics and a rock star or two, plus a couple of B-list actors. Just be careful with the rock stars. They really aren't fit to be out in public but they tend to draw the paparazzi. Don't let them grope you, and I'm not just talking about the males. And whatever you do, don't drink anything they offer you that you haven't seen poured by the bartender. Hey, I think I'll come on up with you just to smooth your passage. Hey, am I allowed to say that? Hahaha."

Blanche looked like she might want to tell Marcus to shut up, but she knew that getting to play the House of Blues in LA was a real stroke of luck. It told her that Marcus actually was looking after them and perhaps keeping quiet was a wise option.

"Tell you what, girls … say, I don't remember seeing you before. Are you the new drummer?" Marcus gave me an appraising look, took the hand I held out and pressed it between both his hands. "What's your name, sweetheart?" Sweetheart? Holy shit. "Alysa,' I murmured. "Nice to meet you, Marcus. Yes, I'm the new drummer."

"You look good, Alysa. Can't wait to hear you play. You girls know how to get to Sunset? Let me drive ahead. Follow me and you won't get lost, unless I do, hahaha. What are you driving? That van out there? It must be crowded with you all in there - why don't you ride with me, Alysa?" He was still holding my hand as he said this and I wasn't sure what to say, but I saw Blanche give a quick nod so I agreed to ride with him. I could also see Hyatt smirking and nudging Xenon.

"Great. Let's go. I'll buy you all lunch when we get there. The HOB jambalaya's fabulous. Wait outside and I'll bring my car up."

Marcus disappeared out the back and we went out to the van. "You'll be fine, Alysa," said Blanche. "Don't let him feel you up, but try not to whack him if he puts his hand on your knee because I'm sure that anything Marcus did like that would be accidental. Hey, girls, the House of Blues. Fuckin' ace."

Marcus appeared at the top of the basement car park ramp and smiled and waved. He'd replaced the caddy with a new, blue Mustang convertible which had the top down and I had to admit it was a good-looking car. I climbed in and Marcus immediately patted me on the thigh. He waited until the girls were all in the van and pulled out into the street and crawled along until Hyatt caught up.

I was wearing a fairly short denim skirt because I'd figured the van would be hot and I now found myself wishing I was wearing jeans or a longer skirt. I kept tugging the hem down although there wasn't much of it to pull down. Marcus made no secret about looking at my legs. He spent the entire trip telling me about the people he'd met and the things he'd done, every so often patting my thigh for emphasis. He did it in such a casual way I suspected he did it all the time. I decided there was nothing sexual in it at all and since he wasn't my type I didn't mind. What a big step in my mental development as a woman that was, actually assessing men, trying to figure out their motives. By the time we reached the club we were chatting like old friends because he really did have some great stories.

Outside the House of Blues we had a look at the poster and saw our name there, pasted over the name of the original group. The missing band now lounging downtown somewhere was so well known I had another moment of doubt. Could we do this?

Marcus went inside and was back sixty seconds later. We took the gear in and put it on the stage and Marcus told us to eat before we set up. I sat down next to Hyatt and she whispered in my ear, "Did he get past your seatbelt?"

"No, he didn't," I replied. "I think he's a toucher from habit, not from sexual longing. It was scary though. My first time out alone with a man. What would my parents think?" We laughed and then ate our way through the menu. Marcus was right – the jambalaya was good.

Once the food was gone we had a talk about the format for the evening. There was an opening act, a couple of girls who used to be more famous than they are now, doing an acoustic set from around nine. It was kind of strange because we were geared up and ready to play at the record company at one o'clock and now we'd been thrust into the Big Time prematurely. Xenon was showing signs of an outbreak of nerves and had to be calmed by Blanche whispering in her ear and pouring a brandy into her. It wasn't just Xenon. I was feeling a little shaky and Carla was also feeling the pressure, but Blanche and Katya seemed to take it all in their stride.

We were told we could set the gear up but not do a sound check until three, so just after three we ran through a few songs. The acoustics were great and the sound system Marcus had brought in for us was excellent so we got to half past three and had nothing to do until ten-thirty. We headed off to the hotel we'd been booked into to relax (hah!), change and kill time.

That was when it got interesting. There were only two rooms booked and I was going to have to share. I suppose I should have thought ahead about this, but the accommodation was such a minor detail compared to the audition that I hadn't.

Blanche took matters into her own hands and said, "Alysa, Katya, you're in with me." She passed the other key to Xenon and we headed to our rooms. They were big rooms with tons of space and big beds. Two beds. Blanche opened the balcony doors and declared she could easily get the television into the swimming pool from there. I personally thought it was a little early in our careers for rock star behaviour but a glance at the television set showed it was firmly chained to the wall mount. Maybe they had musicians staying here fairly often. I stepped on to the balcony to have a look at the pool and found I was only five feet from Hyatt standing on the balcony next door. She grinned at me and said, "Now you be careful, Alysa. Young girls in the big city can get into an awful lot of trouble."

I didn't have to ask what she meant.

I turned around, intending to have a shower and change and saw the back of a naked Katya heading through the bathroom door. Blanche was already down to bra and panties (salmon pink, silk, fabulous) and rummaging in her suitcase. She said, "I'm going to shower and change and then I'm going to Del Amo for some serious shopping. Want to come? I need someone to share a taxi, unless I can persuade Hyatt to drive us." She moved out on to the balcony and shouted for Hyatt in the next room. Hyatt appeared and said she was going to get some sleep and no, we couldn't borrow the van, not even if hell froze over. Xenon wanted to come with us though and so did Carla.

I now had a dilemma. I wanted a shower before we went out and I still had this shyness problem. I heard Katya turn the shower off and a few seconds later she appeared in a towel. Which was wrapped around her head, and only her head. I knew she had a stupendous figure but the naked Katya undid me, so to speak. I heard a little groan and it took a moment to realise it was coming from me. Katya grinned and Blanche laughed out loud.

"For Christ's sake, Alysa," said Blanche. "You can't spend your life being shy. We know what you have under all that, just wander around naked and let it all hang out. If we make the grade we'll be all living together a lot of the time and it'll drive you mad hiding in the bathroom and getting changed under the bedclothes. We're modern girls, Alysa, we know what a dick looks like. In fact I'd be willing to bet I've seen more than you have. Just get your clothes off, get in the shower and get a move on. The shops are open and we have to be back at the House of Blues at nine." She took off her bra and shimmied out of the silk panties. "There. You see? We're all naked, just like hippies."

She'd convinced me. My only problem now was an erection that was starting to hurt inside the tight panties. I looked at Blanche, looked at Katya and thought, fuck this. I took off my top, threw my bra and its contents on the bed, slipped off the denim skirt and threw the panties on the bed as well. My cock sprang free and the girls applauded. I blushed, bowed low and went into the bathroom.

Once the door was closed I laughed. Blanche was right of course. There was no point in being coy because we'd be literally seeing a lot of each other. And that reminded me just how good the girls looked without clothes. If I wasn't in a hurry I would have indulged in some power masturbation but I turned the shower on to Cold instead.

When I went back out and Blanche went in, I found a gallery of girls sitting on the beds and I wished I'd thought ahead far enough to get some clean clothes out and ready. As it was I had to fish around in my bag for far too long before I came up with something to wear, all the time being appraised by the four women, all of whom were fully dressed. It remains a mystery to me that despite that situation, I managed to sustain an erection. Finally I got a pair of panties on and pretended to notice all the girls for the first time. ("Oh. Where did you all come from?") I put on panties and a bra, a pale blue cotton top and a black cotton skirt and the boots, adjusted my wig and did a fast make-up job by the time Blanche came out of the shower.

Carla said, "There's a cab waiting downstairs. Let's get the hell out of here."


For those who don't know LA, Del Amo is a great shopping mall. We fell out of the cab and hit the shops. We split up and headed in different directions. I did Victoria's Secret first. My God, what a treasure house that is!! That shop alone cost me over two hundred dollars and I went on to many more shops. I met Carla coming out of Fredericks with several bags and she grabbed me and took me in to show me what she'd bought. She held a little wisp of nylon babydoll against her body and said "I got this in pink, Alysa. Can I show it to you later on? I'd really like your opinion."

"Of course you can, Carla," I said, before the importance of what I was saying hit me. Had I just invited Carla to participate in something? I thought I might have. I carefully studied a rack of vinyl g-strings to hide my confusion.

"Aren't they sexy?" asked a sales assistant. "We sell such a lot of those. Do you want to try one on?"

Err … no thanks." I moved on to a rack of corsets and found a couple I liked. I suddenly had this vision of playing in a corset and a short satin skirt and I rather liked the idea. I picked out a red corset with black lace and a shimmering pale blue one with matching blue lace and asked if I could try them on. This girl must have worked on commission and knew how to flatter a client.

"My, you have such good taste. Of course you can try them. Here, take your time. Are going in too?" This last comment was directed to Carla, who was still standing behind me.

"Thank you, I think I will," said Carla. Uh oh. Carla slid into the changing cubicle with me.

"Alysa, honey, can I show you my babydoll now? I know you'll love it."

"Ah, can we do that later, Carla?"

"But we might not get any privacy later, Alysa."

"I'm sure we will, Carla. Look, can you tell me what you think of these corsets while I try them on? I'd value your opinion."

"Why sure, honey. Here, let me help you off with that top."

My top sort of disappeared and a moment later the corset was being wrapped around my body and Carla fastened it up the back.

"How's that, Alysa? Is that too tight?"

It wasn't. It was a little loose if anything and I asked Carla to go find me the next size down. She returned with a smaller version and it fitted beautifully. I would need something to pad it out a little where my breasts were missing, but I could see that it suited me very well. I took it off and tried the other one. Carla couldn't hold herself back. She fastened the blue corset up the back and I felt her arms come around me. She slid her hand down to my groin and found a serious erection and that was her fault. My skirt was lifted and I felt her hand caressing my cock through the satin panties. I couldn't help myself, I groaned again.

"Promise me you'll come see me tonight, Alysa After the gig when we get back to the hotel I'll be hot and wet and waiting for you to come and stick that inside me. I could really use a good hard fucking, Alysa. Do you know that my mother told me not to hang around with boys? She said they'd want to do terrible things to me but so far all they wanted to do was have sex. What terrible things was she talking about?"

I was getting close to exploding and I turned to face Carla and promised to see her after we got back to the hotel, but I wasn't up to having sex in the changing cubicle. Well I was, but I wasn't going to. That kind of thing needs working up to. On the other hand, she was very attractive and I was reasonably sure those dark eyes could lure me into all sorts of things her mother wouldn't be happy about.

The blue corset was gorgeous and fitted me like a glove. It would need some help in the breast area as well, but I decided I'd get both and develop the lingerie look for onstage performances. I explained the plan to Carla and she was enthusiastic.

I got out of the cubicle by squeezing past Carla, who seemed to be reluctant to let me go and made sure I had to press myself against her to get past. I confess I enjoyed it too.

I dropped the corsets on the counter and went to find some matching panties. By the time I finished I had stockings as well and Carla wanted to go back to the hotel ahead of the others. I was saved by Blanche coming in to the shop and suggesting a snack and a beer or two. I wanted a beer badly but I also wanted to check out some other shops. I checked my watch and decided I had time for a snack and some more shopping.

We found a café that sold beer and Blanche ordered a half dozen. Katya and Xenon appeared as if by magic, both laden with shopping bags. They looked at my bags from Victoria's and Fredericks and intimated a fashion show would be required later on. After a couple of beers they got noisy and I excused myself to go visit a couple more stores.

As I stood up, Blanche looked hard at me. "You're enjoying this aren't you, Alysa? Have you been a pervert for a long time, or is this a recent thing? You've taken to girls stuff like a, a, … a girl."

I looked Blanche in the eye and said, "It's recent, it's your fault and I love it. The soft caress of satin on my cock keeps me hard all day. I can't look at a pair of panties in a store without wanting to buy them. I have a semi-permanent erection. Yes, by god, I love it. Thank you for perverting me, Blanche."

Blanche looked a little taken aback then smiled and said, "So is there any chance you'll fuck me later?"

"I have a previous promise to fulfil." I didn't dare look at Carla. "If that promise fades or I find I haven't been satisfied, I may well call by your room. Hang on, that's my room." The beer was starting to take effect. "Can you excuse me? I need to shop. I shop, therefore I am, etcetera."

We arranged to meet at six at the main entrance to give us time to get back to the hotel, freshen up and get to the House of Blues on time. I shot down the mall to Charlotte Russe and then the wig shop, just to see what they had. Charlotte cost me another one hundred and fifty and the wig shop had the best-looking dark auburn wig I'd ever seen, not that I'd seen a lot. I tried it on, loved it and bought it. It made me look mysterious and sexy. That left ten minutes for the shoe shop and a fabulous pair of strappy black evening sandals. I was sure I could cope with a three-inch heel

Six o'clock. I got to the main entrance to find everyone except Xenon waiting by a cab. The cab driver was a little antsy and Blanche was threatening to disembowel him if he moved. Seconds later Xenon turned up, barely visible behind a load of shopping bags, and we piled into the cab and headed back to the hotel.

We hadn't allowed for the LA traffic and even though it wasn't all that far, we took a long time to get back. It was then a case of finding a missing Carla (by the pool) and getting ready as fast as we could. Nerves took over and I barely noticed a lot of naked flesh coming and going.

I had a sparkling camisole and a black satin skirt I wanted to wear while we played. I put on the black boots because I was determined not to stuff up the audition by wearing heels I wasn't used to. Katya had a short, white chiffon dress I hadn't seen before, along with white lace-top stockings and I had no doubt the crowd would be able to see her garter tabs and probably her panties because the dress was so short. She asked my opinion of her outfit (did I mention the four-inch heels?) and I admitted she looked like dynamite. Once more her grin lit up the room and she declared herself ready.

Blanche was in a dilemma. She'd brought a couple of fluffy petticoats but couldn't make up her mind which to wear. She asked my opinion and I said, 'the red.' She said, 'No I'll wear the white'. That was settled. The other girls wandered in and asked for our opinions. Carla was in a long green silk satin dress that fell to her ankles while exposing some interesting leg parts. Hyatt was in a tight and short dress made from white silk and blue ribbons while Xenon had on the shortest miniskirt I'd ever seen. It was a bronze colour, satin, and at least ten inches long. She showed us her matching panties and with the pale beige beaded camisole she wore, she was a pleasure to look at. Her strappy bronze heels set the look off and I knew that late at night the crowd would be gathered around her trying to see up her skirt. Assuming they could tear themselves away from Katya.

We got to the venue more or less on time. We intended to take a cab, firstly because we intended to drink heavily after we'd played and secondly because we intended to drink heavily after we'd played. As it happened, Marcus sent over a limo to pick us up and didn't we think we were rock stars as we explored the sun roof and the bar.

One thing Marcus forgot was some kind of pass and it took five minutes to rustle up someone who would let us in. Naturally enough, no one knew us by sight but they found a picture of Blanche that Marcus had left with the talent booker and we finally got in. We did a fast check of the gear and went to sit down as the old girls started their set. The record company had reserved a private room for us and we found Marcus and a group of guys in suits and there were fries and dips and finger food, but nerves were starting to twang and we weren't particularly hungry.

When the old girls stopped for a break we were introduced to the studio heads. They were mostly young and stylish and genuinely interested in us and what we had to offer. Most had a girlfriend or a wife attached to their hip and were pleasant company. One of the women, a tall blonde named Olga, sat between me and Xenon and kept us amused with tales of poseurs and liars. She was the current constant companion of the studio head, Dave Wallace. She was pretty but some of that was enhancements like botox and rhinoplasty. Her boobs were too good to be true and didn't move much when she did. Nevertheless she was intelligent and funny. Dave himself projected as overconfident but professional. He was about forty and his teeth were unbelievably white.

The old girls rambled on up on the stage without anyone really listening to them and I don't mean just us. It buoyed us up a bit because no matter how we played we would almost certainly be better than them. When they finally finished they got a huge round of applause that reflected the respect everyone still had for a couple of originals, even if their use-by date was way past.


Gulp. It was time. We went backstage and had a group hug. Marcus came to make sure we were okay then said, "This is it girls, you ready? I'll give you the big intro and all you have to do is get out there, take your time to make sure you're in tune and then give them hell. Don't forget that this crowd has seen and heard everyone and take a little impressing, so don't hesitate to go over the top and put on a show. Jesus, Blanche, did someone steal your dress? One other thing, the club will pay you tonight. You're a legitimate act filling in for an emergency even though this is still an audition. All set?"

Gulp again. "Yes, of course we are. Get the fuck out there, Marcus." Blanche cut to the chase again. Marcus slipped through the curtains and gave the lighting man the thumbs up and he stage was suddenly bathed in reds and blues.

"Good evening boys and girls. Welcome to a very special event. The first appearance in Los Angeles of a new and exciting all-girl band who go by the name of Touch My Butt And You're Dead." Marcus was warming up. "As most of you know, our original featured band elected to do a solo performance for the LAPD but I guarantee that before this evening finishes you'll be glad they did. Please put your hands together for Touch My Butt."

There was polite applause and a holler or two as we filed onto the stage, then it went quiet. I could hear whispering as we sat down or draped instruments over ourselves and I caught a couple of words, one was tits and the other was panties. The girls played a chord or two, did a minor tweak and another chord and looked at Blanche, waiting at the front of the stage leaning on her mike stand. She raised her eyebrows, got a series of nods in return and gave me the thumbs up.

We'd elected to go in hard and heavy, not that we had many quiet songs, but I literally thundered into the first part of Deadhead, a tribute to one of Blanche's long gone boyfriends who kept cooking the wrong mushrooms. Deadhead is a powerful song heavy on drums and big chords with an insistent vocal half-spoken and half-sung that leaves you sort of wide-eyed the first time you hear it. The other thing about it is that it's fast and complicated so that you have to concentrate to get through it. Altogether the ideal first number when you're nervous because you haven't got time to wonder if anybody's listening.

They were listening alright. Deadhead goes about eight minutes and as it finally crashed to a finish there was a dead silence then loud applause and cheering. Large numbers of the audience had moved closer to the stage as Blanche shouted "Did you enjoy that? You'll fucking love this."

We'd decided the TMB version of My Favourite Things would either move the crowd or get us chucked out, but this was Los Angeles and the crowd loved it. We moved on through the set list and played for nearly two hours. It was one of those magic nights when everyone was totally in sync and the audience reaction drove us on. We even missed taking the break we were supposed to have about half way through because we were so fired up. Blanche finally said goodnight and I realised as I stood up to take a bow with the girls that I'd developed a blister on my forefinger from the sheer force of playing so hard for so long.

Then Marcus was onstage and cheering the crowd on and calling out our names. He told us to go back to the private room when we were ready and get drinks and talk to the people who wanted to meet us.

The dressing room had towels and basins and some freshening up was in order. I was startled when Blanche jumped on me and hugged and kissed me. "That was awesome, Alysa. We made the right choice with you. What do you say, girls? Wasn't she brilliant?" They all agreed I'd made a difference and they all hugged and kissed me except Carla, who hugged me, kissed me and caressed my backside. "You were great," she whispered, "and later tonight you'll be great again." Katya pushed her aside and kissed me and thanked me for fitting in so well with the power chords she'd been playing all night. Was I glowing? Was I ever. I towelled down, repaired my make-up, slipped on the heels I'd bought that afternoon and I was ready to party.

Back in the room, there was Dave Wallace, arms open and kissing cheeks, congratulating us on a great show. I was never kissed by so many people in one night.

Dave laid it on the line right away. He wanted us signed up and in the studio as soon as. Marcus was beaming with pleasure because he'd made a good call on a band for the first time in four or five years and was being treated with respect again. People came and spoke to us, congratulated us on a great show and we thanked them as humbly as we could. Then I heard a deep voice say to me, "I like the way you play." He introduced himself and I nearly fell over because I'd only seen him on stage or on videos before. He said "I sometimes play drums too. I didn't catch your name."

For a moment I was dumbstruck because this guy was one of my drum heroes. But I finally got out, "Ah, Alysa, Alysa Woolf. "

"Nice to meet you, Alysa. I've never seen a girl play with that kind of power and precision. Without wanting to be offensive or sexist, you play more like a guy. I'm impressed. Two hours more or less non-stop is a hell of a long time at that speed. Hey, there's Dave finally. Dave, come over and meet Alysa." He waved at the nondescript character who needed a haircut and a shave who was also one of the biggest rock stars around.

"Alysa, this is Dave. Dave, Alysa. Where the hell have you been, man. You missed a great show. These girls were pumping."

Dave, who looked a little tired, said, "I was writing stuff until eight this morning and then I wanted to get it down on tape while I still remembered how it went. I'll be okay after a coffee or three. It's nice to meet you, Alysa." He looked me over from head to toe. "Just before someone interrupts me carries me off, where are you going after this? There's a club down the road where you'd be very welcome. It's private, just musos and friends. We could use some pretty faces and a splash of colour. Here, let me write down the address for you." Dave fished around in his coat pocket and found a piece of paper and my hero found a pen. "It probably sounds like a cliché, but just tell the lady on the door I sent you." Twenty-seven people suddenly noticed Dave was in the room and descended on him at the same time. He was propelled away from me but he smiled and waved before he went.

I waved back as Blanche appeared in front of me and said, "Wasn't that Dave …? What were you talking about?" Her eyes were wide open and she was breathing heavily. Before I could answer, Carla and Katya landed on me, closely followed by Xenon and Hyatt.

"What did he say? What did he say? Come on Alysa, what did he say?"

"Not much," I said, "but he did invite us to a private club later if we want to go. It's not far away. You girls want to go? If you do, I'll check with Marcus that it's all above board and not some sleazy sex den."

"What the hell do you puritans have against sleazy sex dens?" asked Katya. "Don't you know you can have a lot of fun in a sleazy sex den?"

"I'm sorry, Katya, I'm a virgin," I said. "I'm saving myself for the right woman and Hyatt warned me about strange women. Or was it strange men? It was one of those. What I'm saying is that I might not want to go to a sleazy sex den, but if you want one I'm willing to bet Marcus knows a few In the meantime there's twelve people coming this way across the room and six of them look like they'd be up for a good time. Look, isn't that Britney Spears over there?"

Five heads whipped around and I went to find Marcus. Marcus was green with envy. The club was genuine and entry by invitation only and record company people never got invited.

That was good enough for me and I went to see what Blanche was up to. She was leaning into some guy's face and swearing like a biker. I presume he'd mentioned sex, but after Blanche finished with him I suspect he was doomed to a lifetime of erectile problems. I told her Marcus had cleared the club and I passed the message on to the other girls. They all wanted to go. Carla pressed her body against mine and said, "Does this mean I have to wait even longer for a little fun?"

I looked around to see who else was there. There was a group to one side of the room with Dave standing in the middle of a bunch of people in suits, mainly the bigwigs, and I'm sure I could see green dollar signs floating above their heads. He caught my eye, winked and gave me that lop-sided sort of quick grin you see on the videos.

Just to the left of that group was one of the old girls who opened the show. She caught my eye and came on over. "Hi," she said. "I'm Janice. I really enjoyed Touch My Butt. I wish I was still young enough to play with the kind of energy you girls put out. You're going to do well I the music industry. You're all young and pretty and have real talent. That combination should see you all rich and famous. Just one piece of advice - stay on track and don't get distracted into playing airy-fairy crap about birds and butterflies. That's where I went wrong. I should have told them to stick their butterflies where the sun don't shine. Good luck."

Janice hitched her purse up on her shoulder and left without me having said a word. Marcus came over to talk some more and we were introduced to another thirty or forty people. Blanche came in for the most attention because she was the boss, and she was starting to look a bit jaded. There was no-one I spoke to who didn't enjoy the show.

At two in the morning I was ready to leave and I was making plans with Katya to get out when Dave came up behind me to remind us we should go on to the club. I was ready for a new experience, but when Katya said, "I believe Dave fancies you, Alysa. This could be your lucky night", I lost it completely. Holyjesusfuckingchristonabicycle. It hadn't crossed my mind that there was anything other than a friendly gesture involved. Dave? Fancying me? Get the fuck out of here!! Katya saw the look on my face and took me by the arm. "We're all going to the club, doll. We wouldn't miss your first date for anything."




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