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G11

by Sarah Bayen

Part Twelve

 

Later that night, or more accurately, early the following morning, Steve lay on his bed, his head swimming as if drunk. What a night it had been! He could still feel Karen's gentle but insistent tongue in his mouth, wrestling with his own, and brushing against his teeth and gums. She was a good kisser, there was no doubt of that! He smiled to himself in simple hedonistic joy. They hadn't talked much, they had been too busy, mainly in exploring each other's bodies with tentative strokes and caresses. And she had been so understanding about his nipples! She had touched them once a little too firmly, and seeing him wince, had from then on cradled them more gently, making him breathe so deeply and occasionally groan from the pleasure. He had wondered whether she would want to touch him somewhere else, and, occasionally as her hands wandered up his thighs, he would hold his breath for a moment, thinking that this was the moment. But it was not; her hands descended again, teasing and stroking the inside of his legs until he thought that he would scream with the exquisite torment.

He had known that they were supposed to be discussing how to return to their birth genders, but the pleasure, the rapture, of their snogging session was too powerful for him to raise any protest. Why should he have protested, he asked himself? He was allowed to enjoy himself, and, boy, had he enjoyed himself that night! She made him feel so small and delicate when she held him. He had known that she was bigger than him, she always had been, but somehow, when she held him and kissed him, she seemed to grow, and he seemed to shrink.

Not that he minded that, not in the least. She surrounded him with her body and her arms, and he loved it, nestling up to her chest with his eyes closed, and a peaceful smile on his lips. She stroked his hair, and kissed it, and at once, he vowed to let it grow out some more, so she could, as she said she wanted to, run her fingers right through it. He would grow it down to his waist if he could, like Jacquie's, so that she could take all her pleasure in it, and he his pleasure in pleasing her.

He would have been content to sleep there, in her arms, sitting in the Viewing Point, occasionally looking at the stars, particularly the large one that the ship seemed to be passing by unusually close. You could even see some of the planets, and, in a rare moment of conversation, Karen told him that she had named one of them, a particularly pretty one with pink clouds and blue seas, after him. Planet Steve, it was to be called. He responded by naming one of the gas giants in the system Planet Karen, because of the strong pull it exerted on the others. She had seemed pleased by this, and kissed him some more.

She had not let him sleep however, and, as he dozed, she gently woke him, and escorted him all the way to the Archway, before kissing him once more in the dimmed lights and silence, and urging him to get some sleep. He had watched her disappear down the long tunnel that led to the boys' sleeping area before reluctantly walking through the courtyard back to his own room. He was desperate to talk to someone, but it was too late to wake Sarah or Jeanette. They would have to wait until the morning to hear about his news!

Steve lay on his bed, re-rehearsing the whole evening to himself. He was in love, he assured himself. He smiled again. There was nothing wrong with that; nothing wrong with being in love at all. Sarah and Jeanette, his sisters, were in love as well. Idly, he played out the future to himself, the future for him and Karen. They would of course be an item for ever, until the time came for them to get married. He would wear a gorgeous white dress, full, and with a veil. Sarah and Jeanette would be his bridesmaids, and, although looking lovely, would not be as beautiful as he would! Then, maybe a year later or so, he would get pregnant, and present Karen with a beautiful baby, and then…….

He sat himself up with a jolt. What had he just thought? That he would be Karen's wife, and have a baby? With shame and guilt he noticed that his hand had slid inside his knickers, the ones that matched his little pink nightie, and had been playing himself. He quickly retrieved it. His nipples ached unforgivingly, and he used the newly freed hand to rub them, causing an electric, but not unpleasurable sensation to stream through his upper body.

But this was so wrong! He shook himself. He was a boy, and Karen was a girl. Their prime motive in life, their central directive, ought to be working out a way to return to their proper genders. He thought about what had happened that night now in a different light. The Machine was playing with their minds, he decided. That must be what it was. Just as it was playing with their hormones, it was altering the way they thought, making him think girl thoughts, and Karen think boy thoughts. It was all part of its devious plan to make them agree to have their genital anomalies corrected. God, they had even talked about that as if it was a possibility!

He mustn't let it happen again, he told himself, whatever the temptation. He knew he loved Karen, as any girl who loves a boy knows, but he had to resist doing anything about it, and make sure that Karen resisted as well. He felt hot salty tears running down his cheeks. He could never kiss her again, or at least, not until she saw him as a boy, and he saw her as a girl! An overwhelming sense of drama and tragedy welled up from his heart, and he sobbed to himself. It was going to be so difficult to tell her; to let her know that however much they enjoyed each other's company, it was just a trick of the Machine's. Never would he feel her hand on his thigh again, stroking his flesh through the nylon of his tights. God, she had even joked with him that he wasn't wearing stockings! He had been surprised that she had noticed that he had worn stockings the night of the dance, but she had. She had noticed that he had worn stockings that night, and had liked it. He had even promised her that he would wear them for her again! That was how much the Machine was manipulating their thoughts. Well he would fight it! He wasn't going to let it turn him into a girl like that! No, however much it hurt, he would fight these girl feelings the Machine had given him, and resist it to the end.

He woke the following morning still miserable. He hadn't slept a lot. He and Karen had been up late, and his inner torment had delayed sleep for a further hour or two. He managed to shower without meeting Jeanette, and quickly dressed himself in his learning uniform, deciding that day to wear tights so he wasn't so naked. He was pleased with himself that he hadn't chosen stockings. Tights would show the Machine that he was still a boy! He slipped himself into a fairly plain white bra, to hide the swelling nipples that stood out on his chest. That too, would make him more masculine, he was sure of it. Pleased with himself, he looked in the mirror, and gasped when he saw how careworn his face looked. Crying all night didn't seem to be that good for the complexion!

There was no way he wanted Sarah or Jeanette to see him like this! They would demand to know why he had been crying, and even if he resisted their attempts to get the information out of him, they would make up their own reasons. Oh God, they would probably blame Karen. They knew he had her the previous evening, and she would almost certainly take the rap. He wondered what he could do, and then saw the make up he had used the previous evening sitting by the Interface. Maybe he could do something with that. He knew that it was hardly in keeping with his new resolve to be more masculine, but what the heck, he told himself, it was a small price to pay to avoid Sarah and Jeanette doing their Gestapo act on him.

Five minutes later he had managed a reasonable job of making himself look presentable. The foundation hid a multitude of sins on his face, and evened up the colour, while the mascara and eye shadow distracted attention from the redness of his eyes. He considered whether perhaps a little bit of lipstick or lip gloss might not be a bad idea, but a closer examination showed him that his lips were already reddened and perhaps a little swollen from the several hours' assault Karen's kisses had given them. He felt the tears welling up again, as he remembered that he could never enjoy such an assault again, but successfully fought them back, knowing that he had to be strong to resist the Machine's devious plan.

The door sounded out that Jeanette and Sarah were waiting for him. They would expect to go down to breakfast bright and breezily as they always did; the three sisters. Gathering his composure, he walked over to the door, and greeted them as brightly as he ever did. Hopefully they would suspect nothing. In the event, he needn't have worried. Sarah, it appeared, had had a pretty frustrating evening in the company of Malcolm and Eddie, losing every game of chess she played in double quick time, and then having to watch the two boys play long drawn out contests, until she had given up and gone to bed. Jeanette on the other hand was gushing. Stuart, it appeared, had managed to curtail his gentlemanly instincts long enough to kiss her several times. She was a little coy to go into full details, but Steve could tell that she was pleased.

He began to dread them asking him about his evening, as they walked down the corridors towards the Refectory for breakfast. He knew that the moment was approaching, as they turned a corner, and, without warning, bumped into the figure of Colin, staggering along, and holding his face in his hands.

"Oh Gosh!" said Sarah, ineffectually, as he bumped from one white wall to the other.

"Oh my God, he's bleeding!" gasped Jeanette. "We'd best help him. Are you all right Colin?"

The boy groaned, and, taking his hands away from his face, looked at them. His right eye was in a terrible state, swollen almost completely shut, and quickly going blue, Blood trickled from its side, and from his eyebrow, which was torn. His good eye danced from one of them to the other, and then fixed on Steve.

"Your boyfriend is a fucking nutter!" he growled, and then put his hand over his eye once more.

Jeanette looked at Steve with curiosity, and shook her head. "Come on Colin, we'd best get you to the Medical Centre." She walked over to him, and took his arm, and the three of them led the injured boy off at a tangent.

"What happened?" Sarah asked him, holding one of his arms, while Jeanette held the other, and Steve followed on behind.

"Ask him!" Colin spat backwards in Steve's direction. "His boyfriend bloody well thumped me, the bastard."

"My boyfriend?" Steve asked, awkwardly.

"Yes!" Colin snapped again. "Karen, the other bloody freak. She got hold of me first thing this morning, said she wanted a chat, and then, before I could defend myself, she whacked me in the face!"

"Oh dear!" said Sarah consolingly.

"Well that doesn't really sound like Karen," Jeanette said. "What had you done to upset her?"

"Nothing," he insisted. "He must have put her up to it!" he shouted backwards.

"I did not!" Steve cried out. "I know nothing about it! You must have really upset her to make her do that!"

"Hah!" he snapped, with disdain. "You don't know what she's like. You've never seen her playing football have you? She's a complete nutter, crashing about like a fucking rhino!"

"Didn't she say anything?" Jeanette asked him. He shrugged awkwardly.

"No," he said quieter.

"Well she must have said something!" Jeanette insisted. "She must have explained why she was hitting you!"

"It was all over him," Colin sneered again. "Apparently none of us are allowed to say anything about him, or she'll beat us all up!"

Jeanette looked back at Steve in concern. "Well what had you been saying about Steve?"

"Nothing," Colin said. "Nothing really, just the usual sort of thing. Anyway, Sandra started it. She told me he'd had his Willy cut off, so he could be a better girl. I just sort of passed the news on."

"We're here now," Jeanette said, pressing the panel on the door of the Medical Centre. It opened, and they led Colin in, and sat him on the bench in front of some Machinery, which immediately whirred into action, isolating the problem, and then attempting to fix it.

"State the nature of this occurrence," the Machine's voice droned. It had always had a morbid interest in the cause of any such accident, Steve remembered. His Mum had told him that it tried to make sure there were no safety problems on the ship.

"I fell over," Colin muttered.

"Colin!" Sarah gasped. "Tell it the truth!"

He sneered at her. Steve knew the unwritten code between the boys on the ship that all fighting was resolved by the peer group. There was no appeal to parents, and certainly none to the Machine. Colin would never reveal the identity of his assailant, certainly not to the Machine, and probably not even to his friends. He would not want to confess that he had been so soundly trounced by someone who was until recently a girl!

"Injury suggests impact with organic matter," the Machine went on. "State identity of organic matter causing impact."

"I fell against someone else's arm," Colin explained, glaring at Sarah, demanding that she kept silent.

The Machine continued its ministrations to Colin's eye, and, after a few moments, pronounced that he was now all right, but should avoid further impact with organic matter. He stood, and brushed himself down. "Come on," Jeanette said. "We've missed breakfast now, we might as well get along to the first lesson."

"Literature!" Sarah reminded them.

"You won't tell anyone, will you?" Colin half asked, half threatened them.

"Not if you don't want us to," Jeanette said, impervious to his threats. "But they'll notice you've been in a fight," she went on, looking at his bruised and battered eye. "It's a bit obvious!"

He grimaced at the thought. "Well I'll tell everyone I fell against the wall or something. That should do. And you," he went on, to Steve. "Keep your sodding boyfriend under control will you?"

"I'll have a word with her," he muttered. He was already dreading seeing Karen again, and having to tell her about how the Machine was manipulating their minds; to tell her that they could never kiss again, not unless they wanted to jeopardise their return to their proper genders. Confronting her about her assault on Colin was hardly going to make the meeting any easier. Colin nodded, and the four of them went off to the classroom area.

Their arrival was hardly noticed. Steve quickly picked up from the conversations going on that the Machine had made a surprise announcement over breakfast. Apparently there was to be an unscheduled briefing meeting for everyone after the first lesson, and attendance was compulsory.

"What do you think it could be?" Jeanette said, and both he and Sarah shook their heads.

"Perhaps it's going to put my gender back to normal," Steve muttered bitterly.

"Oh I do hope not!" Sarah exclaimed, and then put her hands to her mouth. "Oh I'm sorry Steve, but I don't want to lose you as my sister."

"Well I suppose we'll find out soon enough," Jeanette concluded, and they began to pay attention to the lesson.

The Machine in its teaching mode told them that they were going to put on a production of a Shakespeare play, Romeo and Juliet. It had done this before with various bits of drama, and they were used to the procedure. They had to decide amongst themselves who would get which part. The Machine told them to let it know who was to play Juliet. There was no real choice; Jacquie always got these choice roles, and revelled in them. She was always Mary in the Nativity plays, and was always the heroine in any other play. It was the law, unwritten, but unquestionably obeyed.

Steve looked around, and saw her swishing her hair over her shoulders, waiting to be nominated. It was no surprise when Bryn, sensing an opportunity to be in her good books shouted out. "It has to be Jacquie!" There was a chorus of agreement, and Jacquie looked around the room, smiling to herself.

"Well I suppose I could," she said.

"I'll tap your name into the Machine then!" Bryn said, eagerly, standing, and walking across to the Interface they called the teacher.

"Wait a minute!" came a voice. Steve turned around in surprise to see who it was. It was Janet, his former neighbour. "I'm not so sure Jacquie would be the best," she went on. Bryn stopped his progress. "Juliet is supposed to be all sweetness and light, and the epitome of feminine virtue."

"Yes," said Bryn impatiently, "So?"

Janet grinned at him. "Well Jacquie may not be the best to play the part, that's all. I've got another idea. Someone who's maybe even more suited."

Bryn stared at her, as did the others. "Well?" he demanded. Jacquie was looking at this scene being played out with daggers coming out of her eyes. Janet grinned, and looked around the room once more. "I think," she began, "That since Juliet is so quintessentially sweet, we ought to have someone equally quintessentially sweet to play her!"

Bryn turned his head a little to one side. "Well that still sounds like Jacquie to me," he told her bluntly. Jacquie smiled at him in gratitude.

"Well I think there's someone here who's proved themselves even more sweet than Jacquie," Janet went on. "I think we ought to have Steve as our Juliet!"

Steve's mouth went dry at the mention of his name, and he barely heard the chorus of laughter and agreement at Janet's suggestion. "No!" he whispered hoarsly.

"Oh but you must!" Sarah, sitting closest to him said. "You'll make a lovely Juliet!"

Steve stared wide eyed around the room. Jacquie's daggers were all aimed at him. Bryn looked uncomfortable. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea," he muttered.
"Well I do!" insisted Janet. "Come on, let's put it to the vote! All those in favour of Steve being Juliet, raise your hands now!"

There was a sea of arms raised, especially from the girls. The tyranny that Jacquie had exerted over them for years as the most attractive, and the most popular amongst them obviously chaffed, and they saw this as a chance to assert their freedom.

"Well that looks like a majority!" Janet said to Bryn triumphantly. "Steve is Juliet!"

There was a cheer around the room. "Well then there can only be one Romeo!" Steve heard Charles' voice in the midst of his horror. He faced Steve and smiled. "Karen!"

There were further cheers at the suggestion, and, before Steve could object, their two names were entered into the Machine. He looked helplessly across at Karen, who stared back at him, smiling ruefully. Oh God, he thought to himself, how was he ever going to resist having girl thoughts about her when she was to be Romeo to his Juliet? She stood, and walked purposefully across the room towards him.

"Oh what light by yonder window breaks?" she said to him, reaching out a hand to hold his. He felt himself flush. "Are you all right?" she whispered.

His heart was in his mouth, and he struggled to reply. "Yes. We need to have a word." He stuttered.

Karen looked puzzled, not least because he made no move to let her take his hand. "What now?"

He felt tears coming into his eyes, and shook his head. "No, later. After the class."

She looked at him with a frown, and shrugged. "Okay. But remember we've got to get to the Main Assembly for the Machine's big announcement, whatever that might be."

He nodded glumly, and refused to meet her eye. She grabbed his reluctant hand, which in turn made him look at her, and as he did so, his stomach fluttered furiously inside him. "I think you'll make the perfect Juliet!" she told him, kissing his hand gently.

Misery welled up inside him, which was hardly the reaction she had expected. It showed on his face, as he looked up at her pitifully. "Are you sure you're all right?" she asked him again. He smiled, closed his eyes and nodded, and, less than satisfied with his answer, she shook her head, and walked back across the room.

Sarah leant across to whisper to him. "She's really got the hots for you!"

This was too much to bare, he stood up quickly, knocking his chair over in the process, and ran out of the room and across the corridor into the girls' toilets. Once there, he locked himself in a cubicle, sat down on the seat, and sobbed away to himself. It seemed so unfair. For once in his life he had the chance to be happy; to be Juliet to Karen's Romeo in real life as well as in the play, and yet he had to turn it down; he just had to! It was an illusion caused by the Machine, however enticing, and he had to resist it, or give up the chance of ever being a boy again.

The door opened. He had guessed that his sorrow would be interrupted; that seemed to be part of the price he had to pay for being a girl. "Are you all right Steve?" it was Jeanette's voice. He didn't answer at first, still sobbing to himself. "Come on darling, open the door!" she urged.

He stood up, and flicked the bolt across, before flopping back down on the seat, and sobbing some more. He felt Jeanette's gentle hands on his shoulders, trying to calm him down. "Now come on," she said. "Tell me what the matter is?" Still he could find no words for her, and simply hugged her tight, pressing his head into her stomach, as her hands stroked his head.

"Didn't you want to be Juliet, is that the problem?" she asked. He shook his head, but made no verbal reply. "Oh you poor thing!" she went on, holding on to him tight. Several moments passed. She pushed his head away a little, and hunkered down in front of him. "Now come on," she urged. "Tell me what it's all about. Is it boy trouble?" He lifted his head, and looked at her for a moment, his eyes full of sorrow, and then collapsed into tears again. She held his head against her once more. "Is it Karen?" she asked. "You never told us how your date with her went last night." She thought for a moment. "Did she try her luck too far, is that it? Has she upset you? If she has, I'll have a word with her!"

Jeanette's unmerited sisterly anger allowed Steve to find his voice at last. "No," he wailed. "She behaved perfectly. That's the problem."

"Oh poor Steve!" Jeanette said again, in response to a fresh burst of tears. "You must tell me about it. Otherwise I can't help."

"No one can help!" he wailed.

"But we're sisters!" Jeanette exclaimed. "Come on, tell me what happened!"

Steve pulled himself away from her, and wiped his eyes, still sobbing from time to time. He might as well tell Jeanette. She was always so kind and understanding, and he would need some support once he had told Karen of his decision about their relationship. Patiently, she stood in front of him, waiting for him to begin his explanation. He smiled at her by way of thanks, and clasped her hand.

"Oh it's so difficult Jeanette!" he exclaimed. "It's not that I don't love her."

"Love who?"

He looked at her a little bashfully. "Karen," he explained. "I do love her, but I have to break off with her. I simply have to!"

She looked confused. "Why?" she asked. "If you love her, then you should carry on seeing her, it's as simple as that!"

"Oh but it's not!" he wailed. "You don't understand!"

"Then tell me!"

"When I'm with her," he began. "I feel, well, lovely."

"I can understand that," Jeanette told him. "It's the same with me and Stuart."

"Yes," he agreed. "But it's not natural!"

She laughed. "It's the most natural thing in the world! People have always fallen in love. And I can understand you falling for Karen. She looks really hunky these days!"

"But that's just it!" he wailed once more. "She makes me feel like a girl. A girl in love!"

She looked at him with a friendly sort of pity in her eyes. "Well, " she began, a little doubtfully. "That's what you are I suppose. You should be pleased."

"No I shouldn't," he responded. "I'm not supposed to be a girl!"

"Oh poor Steve!" she said once more. He sobbed a little, and looked down at his lap dolefully. "I mean," she went on. "I don't know if you've thought about it, but perhaps you are supposed to be a girl."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you're so good at doing girl things and stuff. Perhaps you were always meant to be a girl."

"I don't think so," he mumbled.
"Well I do!" she insisted. "You're so kind to Sarah and me. And you're so good at fashion and stuff like that. It's like you were always meant to be a girl; like being a boy before was the mistake."

"No," he muttered. "No. I have to get back to being a boy. I don't care how long it takes, but I have to."

"Poor Steve. But why can't you do that and love Karen at the same time?"

"Because she makes me feel like a girl! She makes me want to be a girl. Last night, I even dreamed of having her babies, of being her wife!"

"Aw," Jeanette responded. "That's sweet!"

"No it's not, it's terrible! I think it's the Machine playing around with my mind, to make me think like that!"

Jeanette thought about this. "I don't think it can do things like that. Not that I've ever heard about anyway."

"Well I think it is," he repeated, petulantly. "Anyway, I can't let it make me think I'm a girl any more. Otherwise I'll never get back to being a boy."

"I don't know Steve. I sometimes wish you'd stop this getting back to being boy nonsense. I mean, you were never very good at it."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, you never seemed really happy. Not like you are now anyway."

"I don't feel very happy just at the moment thank you," he muttered.

"Oh I didn't mean just now! Anyway, you're only sad because you're fighting being a girl. You're trying to get back to being a boy for no good reason. Honestly, I think I'd make a better boy than you ever did, and I'm certainly don't want to turn into one!"

Steve looked up at her, as she smiled down at him. The words of the Machine, the pronouncement that his spirit was 82% female, came back to him. Why did everyone except him think that he was a girl?

"Perhaps you would," he said. "But I was raised to be a boy, and I intend to be one again. I owe it to my Mum and Dad for a start!"

She shook her head. "Part of growing up is doing things for your own sake, you know Steve," she said sagaciously. "Never mind what they might want, what do you want? Do you want to be a boy again?"

"Yes," he answered, with much more certainty that he felt. "And to do that, I've got to stop seeing Karen. If I let her kiss me much more, I'll stop remembering why I want to be a boy anyway."

Jeanette shook her head. "Well this is a bit of a pickle," she said. "I suppose you'll have to tell her."

"Yes," he agreed. "I've told her I'll talk to her after the Literature class."

"She's going to be upset," Jeanette pointed out. "She'll think you've been leading her on."

"Well I'll explain my reasons," he muttered. "I'm sure she'll see why I'm doing it. It's as much for her good as mine anyway."

"Does she want to get back to being a girl then?" Jeanette asked.

Steve looked at the girl, his self professed sister. At that very moment, had he not told Karen that he hadn't, in spite of rumours, had his Willy cut off, she would have been undergoing the irreversible process of turning into a boy. "Of course she does," he replied firmly, ignoring all evidence and doubts.

Jeanette looked doubtful. "Well," she said. "I suppose in that case she'll probably understand. Gosh, no wonder you were so upset when everyone decided you should be Juliet!"

"Exactly!"

"Oh poor you!" she said once more, and hugged him. This time, he hugged her back.

"Thanks Jeanette, I feel better now!"

"That's all right. That's what sisters are for!"

He pulled away from her. "Jeanette," he said, quietly.

"Yes?"

"We'll still be sisters, even if I turn back into a boy, won't we?"

"Of course we will darling!" she exclaimed, and hugged him once more.

They took a few minutes to compose themselves, and, at Jeanette's suggestion, Steve freshened up his make up from the copious contents of the bag she always carried with her. This made him feel and look much better, and, taking a deep breath, they left the toilets, and made their way back to the classroom.

The lesson was finishing as they approached, and the other children were streaming out, mainly speculating about the Machine's announcement, which was now only half an hour away.

"Oh I hope I haven't missed her!" Steve said, squeezing his way against the stream. Janet stopped him, and held his arm, oblivious to his urgency.

"Are you all right Steve?" she asked. He nodded in reply, anxious to get on with his meeting. "Only you looked so upset when you ran out. I didn't mean to upset you, you know, by suggesting you should be Juliet."

"No, that's all right," he said.

"Only I really do think you'd be the best at it," she went on. "Especially with Karen as Romeo. Anyway, it saves Jacquie doing it, doesn't it?"

"Yes," Steve said again, trying to get away.

"But you did look so upset," Janet went on, with genuine concern. "What was it? Time of the month or something?"

Steve twitched. Why did everyone think he was so much more of a girl than he really was? "Something like that," he replied, vaguely.

"Poor you!" Janet said, sympathetically. "It's always worst, the first few times. Don't worry, you'll get used to it after a while. You have to!"

"Yes. Thanks," agreed Steve, who managed to evade her grip on his arm, and reach the classroom door in time to see Karen and Mandy emerge. He took a deep breath.

"Good luck," Jeanette whispered to him, and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder, before disappearing. Karen and Mandy stopped momentarily in front of him, staring at him dubiously, before Mandy excused herself, and made her way. They were now alone.

"Well," Karen said to him, smiling. "How's my little Juliet?"

He grimaced. "I'm fine. We need to talk"

"So you said," Karen went on, and then smiled mischievously. "I know, let's go to the Viewing Point shall we?"

His body shuddered in remembrance and anticipation. "No!" he managed to squeak. "Not there. Let's go back into the classroom."

Karen looked a little confused, but stood aside, and with an elegant arm gesture, waved him passed her into the room. He pouted a little; she was treating him as a girl again, but he decided to let it pass for the moment, and took a couple of strides forward. As he passed her, her hand quickly fell, and grabbed his nearest buttock, squeezing it through his skirt and tights. He frantically brushed her hand away, and, trying to look composed and in control, walked back into the classroom.

He came to one of the tables, took a deep breath, and turned around. Almost immediately she was on top of him, wrapping her arms around his head, and moving in with her lips poised to renew their passion. His body screamed at him to submit, but, somehow, he gathered up his self control, and turned his head at the last moment. Her lips fell on the relatively barren soil of his ear.

"No," he said, trying to squirm away from her. "Not that! We need to talk!"

She pulled a face at him, and reluctantly backed away a few paces. "Well what's all this about?" she asked. "Oh I know!" she suddenly exclaimed. "It's about Colin isn't it? I heard you took him along to the Medical Centre. You've come to tell me off for hitting him haven't you?"

Steve was flustered, and could still feel her strong fingers where they had pressed into the flesh of his bum. "Well you shouldn't have done it," he said, meaning to move onto the main point of the conversation quickly, but she replied too quickly.

"Well I did it for you!" she protested. "He keeps calling you a freak, and it was him who started the rumour about you having your Willy cut off!" Steve winced. It hadn't been Colin, it had been Sandra for God's sake. Karen smiled ruefully. "Well I don't think he'll be calling you a freak from now on!"

Steve closed his eyes for a second or two. "Well you shouldn't have done it," he muttered again. "Violence is never the answer."

"It depends on the question," Karen responded rakishly. "Anyway, now that's out of the way, shall we carry on where we left off last night?" Smiling, she moved forward purposefully, and once again, Steve was struck by how big she was; how big and inviting. His mouth opened. "No!" he managed to say, before she reached him. "There's something else as well."

"Something else?" she said with irritation in her voice.

"Yes," he went on, his voice strained with the emotions he was feeling. "We can't keep seeing each other any more!"

She was silent, and frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about us!" he insisted. "We can't keep seeing each other. Not as boyfriend and girlfriend anyway!"

She shook her head in wonder. "Why not?" she demanded. "I like you, and you," she said, looking deep into his eyes. "You like me. I can tell!"

He grimaced again. "Yes, I do," he admitted. "But that's not the point."

"Well I don't know what the point is then!" she declared. "I like you, and you like me. We should just go with the flow!" She moved forward to kiss him again, but he squirmed to one side.

"No Karen!" he said, pushing her away. "It's not right."

"Of course it's right!" she exclaimed. "Nothing could be more right! Every time I see you I want to kiss you, to hold you, and to;" she stopped for a moment. "And to kiss you again."

He looked at her with his head slightly tilted. "That's not what you were going to say," he admonished. "And that's the point. You want to be the boy, and me to be the girl."

She looked worried for a moment, and then shrugged. "It makes no difference to me," she said. "I'm just myself, and you, well, you're just beautiful!"

"Oh Karen stop it!" he said in frustration. Hearing her say he was beautiful had made his heart flutter and his stomach leap once more.

"And you can't tell me you don't feel the same!" she challenged him. "Last night, well, last night you were enjoying yourself."

"I know I was," he said bitterly. "That just makes it worse!"

"But this is crazy," she went on. "Having you as my," she hesitated. "As my boyfriend, well, it's the best thing that's happened to me since we got misdiagnosed!"

There were tears in his eyes as he looked at her. "But it's not us feeling like that, it's the Machine!" She shook her head, and he carried on. "Don't you see Karen, it's making us love each other so we'll agree to have our genital anomalies corrected; so that it can get what it wants!"

She looked pained by the suggestion, and shook her head. "But I love you Steve!"

The tears fell from the corners of his eyes. "And I love you too!" he blubbered. "But we have to stop! Otherwise we'll never get back to how we should be; who we should be!"

She looked at him from under a furrowed brow. "I'm not sure I care," she muttered.

"Of course you do!" he exclaimed. "It's just the Machine making you feel that way, believe me!"

"It can't change the way we think," she told him, obviously considering his suggestion. "There's no way it can do that."

"Well then it must be getting to us in some other way!" Steve went on, now feeling sorry for Karen, whose face was contorted with pain and confusion. How could he hurt the person he loved so much?

"Maybe the hormones," she said, with a note of sorrowful agreement. "It's possible I suppose." She looked at him again. "But I don't care! I just want to ….."

"Stop Karen!" he pleaded, "We have to stop, you must see that!" He held his hands up in front of himself to stop her amorous advance. "Please!" he added, his eyes filling up, in spite of his resolve. She glared at him, her mouth twitching with suppressed feelings.

"All right," she said suddenly. "If you don't want to, I can't force you can I?"

Steve looked at her back, which she had turned on him, with its broad shoulders emphasised by the way she folded her arms in front of her. She probably could, he thought to himself, she probably could force him to kiss her. Not just because she was so strong either, but because he would be unable and unwilling to put up much of a resistance. His heart fluttered once more, and tears streamed down his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Karen," he whispered, "But it's the only way!"

She turned to him, frowning, and smiled wanly. "I guess," she said. "But if we are going to stop, let's at least have one last kiss, so I can remember what it was like."

Steve's body screamed 'yes' as his mind screamed 'no'. His mouth did neither, and, striking into the calm between these conflicting currents, Karen's mouth met his. His lips kept up a semblance of resistance for perhaps a micro second, before they parted, and allowed her probing tongue access to worship in the cathedral of his mouth.

And worship she did, holding him firmly by the arms, and pressing against him until his breath was taken away. He felt himself respond to her, his arms urging her towards him, and one of his legs lifting off the floor in an involuntary gesture of consent. Still she pressed on, her tongue firmly pressed against his. All semblance of resistance or self denial fled from him in an instant. He was hers, and she was taking him. A little voice inside his head reminded him that this surrender would mean that he could never be a boy again, but a larger voice, emanating from his whole body, told him that he didn't care.

The kiss seemed to last forever, and yet it ended so quickly. She pulled away from him, holding his head in her hands, like some delicate treasure, her deep blue eyes fixed on him, His mouth was still open from her attentions, and he held it ready for any renewal. She smiled at him, and then let go of his face. "Okay," she said. "Now we know what we'll be missing. We'd better get off to Main Assembly to see what the Machine's got to say for itself."

Steve's lips closed, and pressed outwards. He wanted to say that it had all been a mistake; that there was no need for them to stop seeing each other, that she could do what she wanted, when she wanted, to him, with his full co operation and consent. But she had called his bluff. She had tested his resolve to become a boy again, and it had been found wanting. He simply stared at her, his soul begging her to take him again, while his mouth remained silent.

"Are you coming?" she asked, obviously puzzled by his paralysis. He shook his head, and with it, some of the intoxication passed away.

"No," he said hoarsly. "You go on ahead. I'll catch up in a minute."

"Ashamed to be seen with me, are you?" she asked him. He pouted at her, and smiling, she shook her head, and left. He staggered over to one of the chairs and sat down in it. This was going to be so difficult, resisting Karen for the sake of his masculinity. She was just so strong and powerful, so fulfilling for the deep hungers he didn't know were there. Would it really be so bad to give in to her? Of course it would, a little voice told him. If he let her be his boyfriend, his lover, it would prove the Machine right. It would prove that he was truly at least 82% female in spirit. And yet as he remembered her touch, her kiss, and the sweet musky smell of her body, for the first time, he wondered whether he was indeed that feminine. And, what's more, a huge part of him told him that it did not care. It rejoiced in the feelings Karen's caresses made surge through his body.

"Please gather in Main Assembly for an important announcement," the Machine's metallic tones echoed out. He stared up at the ceiling for a moment, wondering whether he would be able to stand. Quickly, he ran across to the girls' toilets, and freshened up his make up once more. Jeanette hadn't bothered to retrieve the items she had lent him earlier, and they served him in good stead.

Controlling his breathing, and walking as tall as he could, he made his way in answer to the Machine's summons, his pleated skirt swishing around his legs as he went. Most of the other students were already there, but he met Jacquie and Gloria outside, leaning against the wall, and talking.

"Well I think we've made wrong choice," Jacquie said, ostensibly to Gloria, but aimed at Steve as they blocked his progress. "Juliet was never a tart!"

"No!" Gloria agreed. "A tart shouldn't play Juliet, that's for sure."

Jacquie glared at him, and, with a flick of her hair which she made sure struck his face, sashayed into the Assembly in front of him. Relieved that the confrontation had been both brief, and relatively painless, Steve followed them in, and quickly sought out Jeanette and Sarah, quickly moving across to sit by them.

"Are you all right?" Jeanette asked him, taking his hand in hers. He smiled, and nodded vigorously.

Sarah leant across, and smiled too. "Jeanette's told me all about it," she said, in a whisper. "I think you're so brave to try and do what you're doing." Such sororial support was exactly what the poor boy needed then, and he smiled even more widely in reply. Sarah shook her head. "I do wonder if it's for the best though."

"Well it's up to him," Jeanette pointed out.

"I know!" Sarah went on. "But if he forgot this silly boy nonsense, he could just enjoy himself couldn't he?"

At the front of the room, the face of the Other was gradually resolving itself into view, and, slowly, the room fell silent, as all their eyes turned to see what was so important as to interrupt the learning schedule.

"Welcome," the Other face lip-synched to the Machine's metallic tones. "We have an announcement of potentially significant import to make. You are all familiar with the concept of Planetfall. That is the primary purpose of this particular voyage. Our original estimates were that it would take several more generations to find a suitable habitation for the human population of this Ship."

That was true enough. No one had ever got particularly excited about Planetfall, in spite of its significance. It had always been iterated that it was so far in the future, and beyond the deep frozen sleep that they would have to follow their parents into.

"However, our scanning has indicated a nearby planet that may be suitable," the Machine went on. There were mutters and murmurs around the hall. "It will take some months to confirm those surveys, but we propose to slow to orbit around this planet to allow these tests to be completed."

There was now uproar in the Hall. Now this really was amazing news. Their voyage might actually be over. They might no longer be ship bound, and for the first time in the life, experience life on a planet. Steve, no less than the others, was astounded. If this was true, then the Machine would reawaken his parents for the landing, and they, he had no doubt, would force it to reassign him as male! He looked at Jeanette and Sarah on either side of him, both looking equally dumbfounded by what the Machine had had to say. It had not finished however.

"Because this process will take several months, there will be no immediate changes in the routines established. However, if the data still indicate that the planet is suitable, there will be a need for you to assist in the process of surveying the surface in due course. Do you have any questions?"

Naturally there were hundreds. Stuart asked a range of technical stuff, and although Steve listened to both the question and answer, he was none the wiser at the end. Linda wanted to know if there were any life forms on the planet. The Machine indicated that there were, but there was no indication of sentience. Steve was unsure exactly what that meant. The face of the Other disappeared momentarily, and was replaced by lists, and tables, which Steve supposed represented some of the findings about this planet. Stuart and some of the others studied these closely, and demanded that they were made available on their Interfaces. The Machine was happy to comply.

"Will you be waking our parents now then?" asked Charles. Steve suddenly started to pay more attention. This was a question he could understand.

"Not at this present moment in time," the Machine replied without emotion. "Disturbing the freezing process would be an unnecessary risk. The sleeping process is newly begun in this tranche of humans. This decision will be reviewed in the light of information about the planet itself."

Steve was a little dismayed by this news. So there was to be no immediate release from his exile from boyhood courtesy of his parents. Still, he consoled himself, there was at least hope!

Sarah turned to him. "Gosh!" she said, "This is a turn up for the books." He smiled, and nodded back to her.

"Can we have another dance to celebrate?" Bryn asked the Machine.

"Celebration may be premature," the Machine responded. "However, regular intercourse by way of dances and parties is a necessary preliminary to your breeding cycle. Therefore there will be another dance tomorrow evening. Please follow the previous arrangements for B numbers to escort G numbers."

The room had resolved into small groups chatting excitedly amongst themselves, while the face of the Other took on a strange look. Steve decided it was probably trying to smile benignly or paternalistically over its gathered flock. After some minutes, it chose to speak again. "That will be all. Lessons will recommence tomorrow morning. Thank you."

Jeanette turned to Steve and Sarah with her eyes wide with excitement. "Another dance!" she exclaimed. "Oh God, what shall we wear?"

"Let's go back and plan it right away!" Sarah responded. "Come on Steve, you're the expert at picking dresses and stuff."

"Yes," Jeanette agreed. "Come on girls, let's go!"

"Just a second," they heard a voice behind them. It was Linda, speaking to the Machine. "Can you show us a picture of this planet?"

The face of the Other hesitated for a moment. "Yes," it said at last, and slowly disappeared, to be replaced by an image of their potential home. It was beautiful; perfectly round with pinkish clouds, and the hint of blue seas behind them. The image revolved a little, and behind it the other planets in the system came into view, including a big gas giant. Steve felt a lump in his throat. "Oh God," he said. "I recognise it!" Sarah and Jeanette looked at him in amazement. "It's planet Steve!" he gasped.

  

  

  

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