I'll Do Anything

by Ashley Steele

  

Jessica Barrington stared out the window of the Greyhound bus as passed pasture and prairies and occasionally a silent and dark farmhouse with its occupants fast asleep. That is where he should be and not on this half deserted greyhound in the middle of the night with his eight-year-old half sister Jenny fast asleep snuggled on his lap. Why did this have to come to this? Two weeks ago I was a fifteen year old boy named Jesse Barrington and now I'm Jessica and completely as a girl. He had looked down at his now feminine style wristwatch and saw it was 3:15 am and they had just gotten past Lincoln, Nebraska heading east.

I had been living with both my stepmother and stepfather. Yes, I am saying this right,

Both of my parents are stepparents. Now I'll explain, my father was Nathaniel Barrington of Barrington Estates and my mother was Jessica Barrington who died in childbirth giving birth to me and I was named Jesse after her. When I was five years old, my father remarried Caroline James who soon gave birth to my little sister—Jenny. It must be said that there was never any sibling rivalry between Jenny and I it was just the opposite. A close bond developed between a big brother and his little sister. When I was thirteen, my father was found murdered and his murderer still hasn't been brought to justice. Just three short months later my stepmother remarries Curtis Sloane, a total slime bag in my opinion. So that is how I became to have a stepmother and stepfather.

It wasn't soon after Caroline married Curtis, that Jenny began to creep into my bed to snuggle next to me and leave at the break of dawn. I know I should have noticed the red flags springing up all over the place but I had always attributed it to Jenny having another nightmare as she always claimed. It was like this for two years when reality came crashing down around my world.

One afternoon I had gotten home from school early since the teachers were having some kind of a in-service so I couldn't wait to get home on this beautiful Indian summer warm afternoon. All day I had been looking forward to coming home and saddling up my horse Snowball and change into my riding clothes. Maybe I would saddle up Buttercup, Jenny's horse and we could go riding together. Yes, I decided that's what we would do.

After having dressed in my riding suit I went in search of my baby sister. I looked everywhere and I couldn't find her. At first I thought that maybe she went to play at a friend's house but the nearest neighbor was fifteen miles away so that couldn't be it.

At this point, the huge house felt eerily silent. Where the hell were Caroline and Curtis? At this point I was scared hell I was terrified. I started to call out for Jenny but stopped when I heard a whimpering coming from my stepparent's bedroom and threw open the door and my eyes bulged and jaw dropped at the sight of what was on the bed. Curtis, my stepfather was on top of my baby sister with his thing inside of her. It was when I looked at Jenny pleading to me with her tear stained dark brown eyes when I completely lost it like Mount St Helen's. I began to unleash a string of profanities, YOU SICK PERFERT, SHE'S ONLY EIGHT YEARS OLD YOU BASTARD! HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID TO MISS THE OBVIOUS? I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE A SLIME BAG BUT I NEVER IMAGINED HOW MUCH! I then picked up Jenny in my arms and went straight to my bathroom. I sat her down on the toilet and proceeded to clean her up and wiped the tears from her eyes. All the while I'm doing this I'm telling her that everything will be all right. I sat with my little sister rocking her in my arms promising her that I will make sure that Curtis will never touch her again. After Jenny had fallen asleep, I lay her back down on the spare bed and pull the comforter up around her and tuck her in. I now go back downstairs to find my stepmother in the kitchen and I

 

Try to tell her everything about what I saw a few short moments ago.

When I finished my story, Curtis comes into the room and stares at me. Finally he states; you spoiled brat, after everything we have done for you and your sister and this is how you repay us. Caroline pipes in; you just can't see me happy can you, Jesse? You never did like Curtis did you? Hell, you never did like me either? All you can do is to hurt us with your lies.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing; she was taking his side over her own daughter's and stepson's.

This was when I made my biggest blunder in this whole mess. I blurted out, what about you, Caroline? You get remarried just three months after my father's funeral and the body had not even cooled yet and you have the nerve to tell me about not causing scandal for the family. So screw you, screw the both of you!

I head back up to my room to wake Jenny and take her back to the kitchen and get us something to eat and then I remember I had left Snowball and Buttercup all saddled up in the stables so we decided to go for a quick evening ride before bed. After our ride, we get ready for bed and still have time for a game of chutes and ladders; Jenny still loves it when her big brother falls down the chute. After our game, I tuck her into my spare bed and climb into my own. As I fall asleep I silently promise myself, Jenny, and our father's memory that over the next few days that Jenny and I will become unseparatable at least until I can find someone to help us. The only thing that I knew for certain was that it was entirely up to me and I felt so completely alone.

 

Over the next few days it seems like everywhere I turned was a dead end. First, I went to Jenny's teacher and told her my story, she said she'd help but I guess Curtis got to her first. Then I went to my own teacher in junior high and even she was refused to help, and finally I went to social services. I was told they would try to help but once again I got blown off again. Seems like everywhere I turned I got nowhere. Curtis's influence was everywhere. That Sunday evening I was passing my father's study, now Curtis's to my bedroom. I overheard Curtis talking to someone on the phone; yea he's totally gone off the bend, kid never liked me. Now he's accusing me of the outlandish things. He needs help. Hum, so having him committed won't be a problem will it? Just make sure you keep him until he's cured, even if it takes years. Do what ever it takes, thanks; my office will be in touch. Bye.

I quickly ducked back into my room to find Jenny watching the Powder puff Girls on my television in my bedroom. As she was deeply engrossed in the show, She didn't notice I began to cry for the first time in years. I wasn't crying for myself but for my innocent younger sister if my stepfather succeeded in having me committed. Curtis would be free to do anything he wanted to with Jenny with me in the nuthouse.

That next afternoon during lunch period Jesse is having lunch with his tomboy friend Heather. Geez, Jesse isn't there anything that you can do?

So far I've already tried just about everything that I could think of.

I have an idea but first I have to ask you, are you absolutely willing to do anything?

Yes! As long as it will keep Jenny safe, replied Jesse.

 

Well, you remember a few months ago we both went to that party and you went as a girl and how everyone never had a clue as to who you really were. You had everybody thinking you were my cousin Samantha, even my mother thought so. I still haven't heard the end of her carping about not liking to wear dresses like Samantha.

It may work and like I said I have very options, said Jesse

Good, come to my house after school and I think I have just the right outfit.

 

After my last class of the day, I run over to Jenny's school to pick her up and walk over to Heather's house. While Jenny goes off play with Heather's little brother Jamie, Heather and I go up to her room. Once I take a shower and remove what little body hair I do have and wash my hair with Heather's shampoo, I am sitting at Heather's vanity wearing silk panties, a silk slip, pantyhose, bra, and breast forms. Heather is now styling my somewhat long honey blonde hair into a feminine style. Once my hair is completed, I pull on the blouse, and then come the knee length denim skirt, the low heel leather boots, a sweater, and then a corduroy blazer as the finishing touch. Now hold it right there, Jessica, as Heather pulls out a digital camera and snaps several pictures. These will be toward your fake school ID identifying you as Jessica Elizabeth Maguire.

Why Maguire, asks Jesse?

Because isn't it your mother's maiden name?

Yea, I guess that makes sense.

Now you can get those clothes off and my sister Brenda can get started on that ID and we'll put those in a safe place until your ready to leave with Jenny.

As I get undressed and redressed in my own clothes, Heather is asking me about money and how much of it I have.

I tell her that I have about three hundred saved up from give horse riding lessons and various babysitting jobs, even though I'm a boy I am a very capable babysitter, also from birthdays and holidays. One the way here I stopped at the bank with gallon pickle jar fill to the top with change and that came to $103.47. Among that I have various items of jewelry that was my mother and fathers'

Good and I will loan you a hundred dollars that I have so that should make about six or seven hundred dollars depending what you can get for the jewelry.

Now you better get going, I'll have Brenda drive you home and make sure you explain to Jenny about what's going to happen so she won't be confused or frightened.

Thank you very much, you are such a good friend to both of us and I will pay you back as soon as we get situated someplace.

 

Walking home, I try to explain to Jenny what's going to happen the next few days. All the preparation that I'm doing is to keep us both safe when we run away. It's just you and me Jenny. It's us versus the world. Remember when we escape, my name will be Jessica McGuire and yours will be Kayla. At least for a while, I will be your big sister.

. As we walked passed the stables, I suggest, "Jenny, want to go for a ride with me? We'll saddle up Buttercup and Snowball. We won't have much chance much longer once we escape". Jenny chirps in, "sure Jesse"! So that's what we did. We rode all over the grounds. Finally before we new it, it was already getting dark and starts to head back. "Race you back to the stables Jesse," challenges Jenny. "You're on," accepts Jesse.

Jesse on Snowball takes the lead right away but as usual pulls back as just as Jenny makes it back to the stable first.

After the horses are back in their stalls with saddles off and groomed, Jesse and Jenny head back the house and enter the kitchen. Like usual, the house is quiet with Caroline and Curtis out at the bars drinking again. So Jesse and Jenny put a pizza in the oven and while it cooks, they talk about their plans over the next two days. Jesse asks, something I need to know Jenny, is that all those time you crept into my bed at night had that something to do with Curtis molesting you? You know that you can tell me anything. Yes, admits Jenny. All I knew was that as long as I was near you, Curtis wouldn't dare touch me and if you were sent away I know it would start all over again.

Unexpectedly, Jenny adds, Mommy knows!

Shocked, I ask, what do you mean mommy knows?

Jenny repeats, she knows, because usually she is in the room when it happens.

 

With this revelation, my indifference for Caroline turned into contempt and hatred. I had always known she never cared about her own daughter but to allow this to happen to her. Did she get some sick sense of joy in seeing her own little girl suffer? But I had always known that she was never the maternal type. Hell, I was more of the mother to Jenny than she. It was I who she ran to with scraped knees or bad dreams in the middle of the night. When father was murdered, I became the father figure too. Instantly, I reach over to grab Jenny in my arms to hug her and telling her that no matter where we end up we will be together and that is all that counts. By this time the time for the pizza goes off, so we sit down for pizza and cokes.

Later that night, while Jenny is tucked in bed watching TV, I go up the attic for a large suitcase and come back down to Jenny's room to begin packing her things. I already know that we must pack light. We'll also each have a backpack and my laptop case. In Jenny's side I pack her favorite light blue dress, two blouses, two skirts, several pairs of tights underwear and a nightgown. In her backpack, I put in Spencer, the teddy bear, her coloring books and crayons, a small flashlight, and her Walkman. With that finished the put the suitcase and the backpack in my closet. In my backpack I put in my clock radio, another bigger Mag light with extra batteries, my Swiss army knife, several apples I retrieved from the kitchen, a lighter, a box of kitchen matches, and several candles. Since I will be traveling as a girl I won't need my clothes for a while and Heather is taking care of getting my girl clothes together to pack in with Jenny's. Finally I have Jenny come in to pick out she wants to wear during our Friday afternoon escape. She picks out her own denim skirt, white blouse, sweater, tights, and her own leather boots. As she picks out each piece of clothing, I immediately realize that she must have seen me in my outfit at Heather's and she wants to be able to match her new big sister.

The last thing that I do is to pack up my laptop in its case with two fully charged batteries. With the packing completed, I head to the bathroom to shower and dress for bed. As Jenny sleeps in the next bed, I look over at her and think; Heather is right. I will do anything for my sister. Since the day she was born I have always loved, taken care of, and protected her. It doesn't matter if I have to do so as Jesse or Jessica, a big brother or sister. All that matters is that she is my little sister and I will make sure she is happy, secure, and safe. I soon drifted off to a deep sleep that I hadn't had in days. I was now contend in the knowledge in what I was doing was right. I knew if my own parents could see me now they would look at with pride and love.

 

 

All day Thursday was a day that seemed to drag on. From one period to the next all seemed to flow into one. At least I can relax alittle knowing that our suitcase, backpacks, and computer case are in the back of Heather's garage and the only thing left to do is to pack my clothes as Jessica in with Jenny's or Kayla's I should be in the habit of saying. Tomorrow is an off day with no school so that should be a good day to leave and with Caroline and Curtis gone for the weekend; they're not expected back till late Sunday. I figure that should give Jenny and I a three-day head start.

During lunch Heather and I are eating and talking, Heather suggests; you know if Caroline and Curtis are already gone by tonight then maybe you and Jenny can spend the night with me, Brenda, and Jamie. Then early tomorrow, Brenda can drive you Seattle bus stop. Sounds like the plan, I agreed. Besides, It'll give us more time to get ready and not mess around with coming over to your house tomorrow as planned. I would like to take a last ride on Snowball and I know Jenny wants to ride Buttercup one last time too.

Why don't you and Jamie come over this afternoon and we'll make a day of it. It will be just the four of us out riding. I'll be on Snowball, Jenny on Buttercup, Jamie on Gracie, and you on Amethyst.

 

That afternoon that's just what we did. All four of us rode on horseback. We raced each other, we laughed, we ate a picnic dinner in a clearing in the wood while the horses ate grass and drank from a stream. It was an afternoon I didn't want to end as I talked, rode, and played with Heather. It was then I realized that I was falling in love with her. Would she still feel the same for me? What about if I was still Jessica a year from now hiding from my stepparents? Would she still like me? I wanted to tell her things but I couldn't bring myself to them. Finally as darkness fell, we headed back to the stables, removed the saddles, fed, watered, and regroomed the horses. After we had finished with the horses, the four of us walked back to Heather's house and settled in for the night—watching TV, talking, playing games, and finally going to bed.

 

That night as I slept in the guest bedroom with Jenny in the bed next to me I had the weirdest dream. I dreamed that I was ten years older and I was at the alter wearing a beautiful satin long-sleeved wedding dress and I was looking into the eyes of Heather. I was saying the words; I, Jessica, take Heather, as my legally wedded wife… next to me is my little sister Kayla, my maid of honor and next to Heather is her brother Jamie, her best man. What does this dream? Does it mean I'll be stuck as Jessica forever or is it just a dream that means nothing? This is when I wake up and it is already morning with bright sunbeams shining through the windows. The day was beautiful to mark my first day living as Jessica traveling with her little sister Kayla.

When I first saw myself dressed as Jessica with Kayla at my side, could have bowled me over. We looked so much alike. We were both wearing white blue blouses, knee length denim skirts, pantyhose, sweaters, corduroy blazers, and low heeled leather boots. Our blonde hair was swept back by matching blue headbands.

 

On the way to the bus station, we stop at a pawnshop to sell my laptop and various items of my parent's jewelry, which gives us an additional $530.00 in our escape kitty.

At the ticket counter I shell out $150 for both of our tickets to New York City.

Finally it's time our bus is ready to board so Kayla and I gather up our backpacks and our shared suitcase and find seats toward the back. Soon we are both settled in, listening to our walkmans and dreaming about what our new adventure will take us

  

  

  

*********************************************
© 2003 by Ashley Steele. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, and compilation design) may be printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without the express written consent of StorySite and the copyright holder.