Is This What I Wanted?
by Andi Pansy
"But this is what you wanted isn't it?" my wife, Jenny asked imperiously.
"Yes Jenny." I humbly replied, feeling conscious of my maid uniform.
"Yes Mistress, you really must call me Mistress, if you want to be my maid." She smiled from her chair.
"Yes Mistress." I simpered.
"That's better, now give me a nice curtsey." She sweetly said but with steel in her voice. It was a sign of the way things were to become.
"Actually, you look quite sweet. "she cooed "Take your dress off. "
She had told me to change into my new white lingerie set before dressing, I now thought I knew why. It had been some time since we had had sex but at the mere though my heart raced. As gracefully as I could I removed my apron, dress and cap.
I stood in front of her in my white lingerie set but soon realised that my expectations were to be dashed. She surveyed me with something between pity and disgust, there was no lust or desire. At her command I followed into the cold garage. She shivered as she turned the light on,
"It is cold in here isn't it?"
"Yes Mistress." I replied wrapping my arms round myself to try to stay warm.
I offered no resistance as she passed a chain round my neck securing it with a padlock.
"Be a doll and put it over the beam." She said to me in a businesslike way. I used some steps to reach and using the same steps she padlocked it in place.
She then returned from my toy draw with some handcuffs which she duly secured my wrists and ankles with. I had chained her in such a way during our past bondage games. She had told me afterwards that she had felt totally exposed and vulnerable to be secured in such a way, now it was my turn.
She stood in front of me, hands on her hips and checked I was secure. I shivered.
"Cold?" she asked.
"Yes Mistress." I truthfully replied but receive no sympathy.
Mischievously her hand snaked to my crotch and found my semi-hardened cock. I grew exited again, perhaps sex after all?
"What a pathetic little toy you have, no wonder it never really satisfied me." She mocked, I was crushed and then suddenly panicky when I heard a car arrive in our drive.
"Good, that will be Caroline." She said her hand still toying with me through my undies.
Caroline was her best friend, she had never seen me dressed but knew about my little "habit." It was her who had suggested that I buy the lingerie set I was wearing when she had telephoned last week.
She had known about my love of wearing frillies for some time.
Jenny went to let Caroline in then I could hear the sound of their chatter and laughter that I knew so well. It was a few minutes before they appeared and my anticipation began to build.
It would be the first time anybody but my wife had seen me "dressed."
I had fantasised about this, about Caroline and Jenny finding me dressed, about having to serve them in a pretty uniform but this was different. Here, I was trapped, there was nowhere to hide all I could do was wait helplessly.
They always took their time but eventually the back door into the garage opened and the two women came through. In silence they stood and looked at me then they approached and circled.
Caroline broke the silence.
"Well, well what a sight, he just let you do this."
"Yes, pathetic isn't it. It even excited him."
"Yes, his little weeny grew!"
Then they both collapsed into laughter.
"What are you going to do?" Caroline asked.
"I thought I'd try it out, it must be nice to have a skivy, someone to do all the chores and as a husband he is pathetic. So I'll give it a try. " Jenny answered
"With some work he will look presentable in a uniform and he wants to flounce around like this, so what the hell."
"Right," Jenny said turning to me "I am going to release you, get you uniform back on and serve us tea in the lounge. Then you can put all your male clothes except for one pair of jeans and a sweat shirt into cases and put them in the car. Get your girlie clothes and put them in the loft room, you are moving in there."
I went to object at this point, it hadn't occurred to me that she would want me to move rooms. She cut right across me,
"And that's enough of that, you have got your wish, now you can find out what it really means to be a domestic servant. I will be up to inspect your room."
I went to object again, this time to ask about my clothes. This time she was annoyed.
"Now listen, I really can not have this whinging and moaning all the time.
You are now the maid and maids do what they are told, when they are told to do it.
Have you got that?"
"Good, now get along with you."
My life has changed completely now.
My quarters are the loft room, which has been modified is several ways. The door is lockable from downstairs where there is also a master switch for the lights. There are two floor to roof posts which now have metal rings in various places for securing me as required.
I have my own toilet and shower but the shower has no hot water to it. Every morning I have to start the day with a cold shower.
My wardrobe consists of uniform dresses with some skirts and blouses, as a concession, I'm allowed a to wear a skirt and blouse to go shopping in, otherwise I always been in uniform when not in my room. Trousers and sweat tops are forbidden.
My draws contain only feminine lingerie and night dresses. The panties are full cut control panties to hold me in and must be worn with matching bras, petticoats or slips. The colour and type of tights depends on the uniform, pink uniforms require sheer tan tights, black uniforms, black tights.
The vanity table is well lit and I sit at it every morning to make myself "presentable." Different levels a make up are required for various tasks. Chores take place on weekday mornings and require minimum make-up just blusher and lipstick. Serving in the evening or company requires a more, including eye shadow and a more coloured lipstick, I am required to be that much more decorative.
My normal uniforms all finish below the knee and the colour varies depending on the time of day and activity. There are strict rules about my attire,
I wear light pink housecoats are for doing the chores. Light pink is also the colour of the uniform dress for serving breakfast during the week with light blue for weekends. Evening and uniforms for company are all black.
An essential part of my uniforms are my aprons and caps, these underline my status to me and all who meet me.
Chores are done in flat shoes but at all other times I wear high heels.
Jenny's divorced mum was the next person I was presented to and she immediately took to the idea. She had always felt the men were good for sex and not much else, since I was not a real man it seemed to her to be the ideal use for me.
She came to visit soon after I was put into uniforms. Jenny had allowed me to retire to my room for visitors initially but would not hear of it while her mum visited, much to my consternation.
"You really are going to get over this, you are no use to me hiding in your room." Jenny said.
Her mothers face lit up when I answered to front door to me, Jenny had made it quite clear that my blushes were not to be spared, I was to give her a full curtsey. I had practised for hours and executed my best curtsey immediately after I opened the front door.
She was a petite blond woman and as usual was dressed immaculately. Jenny appeared and they embraced before I was sent to the car to get her bags. My hesitation was met with a stern reprimand I just prayed no one would be around I quickly retrieved her bags from her car.
When I returned from putting the bags in the guest room they were discussing me. I was ordered to stand in front of them. Her mother was staying for the week and I was to be her project.
By the end of the week there would be no more hiding in my room. Her mum was going to work on my appearance, my deportment and my manners. If I didn't come up to scratch at the end of the week Jenny would kick me out. This concentrated my mind wonderfully.
From then on I spent a lot of time on my appearance. Her mum taught me about make up, how to apply it, the need for regular adjustments to maintain my appearance. I had to look pretty but not like a tart. This included nail polish at all times. She settled on a wig for my hair initially and at the end of her first morning she was quite pleased with her results.
I stood in front of her, in uniform and made up with my head bowed and my hands clasped in front of me.
"How do you feel?" she asked me.
"Mistress?" I simpered in reply.
"How do you feel, standing there in that pretty little maids uniform, How do the clothes feel?"
"Lovely Mistress." I answered almost too quickly, but they did.
"Right they do don't they and with some boobs and then you will be perfectly acceptable and then there will be no more hiding in your room. Is that clear?"
"Good, you begged Jenny to be her maid and now she has let you. The uniform and appearance are an essential part of your duties, when you deal with people they will know your position, your status.
Do I make myself clear?"
"Good, this afternoon we will go to the village."
She spoke imperiously and it was clear I had no choice in the matter. I served her lunch, I was not allowed any but I wouldn't have been able to eat anyway, all I could think about was my impending trip. I was not ready for it but had no choice. Before I knew it, it was time to get ready.
She thought for a moment then told me we were going to visit the local shop so they could be introduced to my new status. It was therefore appropriate to wear my apron and cap. She would drive us down.
She gave me no chance to think about it and object and in no time I was in her car heading the two miles to the shop. My heart was in my mouth as we parked upon arrival. She reminded me of my new status, told me to adopt a submissive demeanour and only speak when spoken to.
We got out, I adjusted my dress and we entered. The shop was run by an Indian gentleman and his wife, who both knew me well. They were both there with one customer, a mature man Mr Walsh as we entered and were met with a stunned silence. I didn't return anyone's stare but stared at the ground in front of me.
"Hello everyone, "Jenny's mom started "you all know Andy don't you?"
"Er yes." Came several stunned replies.
"Well he was no good as Jenny's husband so she has allowed him to become her maid."
She had the tone of a schoolmistress. There was more silence broken by Mr Walsh.
"Yes and I think the role really suits him."
"Yes, well he certainly looks like pretty little filly in that uniform!" he continued.
I could barely believe what I was hearing as he spoke or as I then had to twirl slowly for all to see.
"Is there enough to keep him going in that house?" Mr Walsh eventually asked after some discussion about my appearance "Only I could use some help, I do hate housework."
"Why that is what an excellent idea.
I'll talk to Jenny." She replied to my consternation.
As I heard his words and could feel his eyes on me, undressing me. As we left Jenny's mother took Mr Walsh's phone number and told him that I would ring him. It was not a phone call I looked forward to.
We duly went home and she debriefed me about my first public outing. I had so much to learn but had done well. She was going to punish me though for several reasons, I was still too ungamely, too reluctant to be seen in public but mainly because she could. I was to report to her at four in the study.
I was on time but she made me wait for no apparent reason. Then when she had me enter the study she made me wait some more.
"Don't fidget." Was all she said.
When she was ready she sent me upstairs to her case. In it I would find a riding crop which I had to bring to her.
She put the crop on the table next to her and addressed me.
"Well my little flower, how many of these do you deserve?"
I hesitated and she went on,
"Well you deserve a few just because you are such a pansy, I think ten."
She paused and looked at me,
"Yes ten, you'll have a sore bottom in your frilly little panties.
Lift up your dress and petticoat and bend over the table."
I bobbed a curtsey and complied. She had me put my hands on my head before sliding my panties and tights down. Standing directly behind me she used her feet to spread my legs apart. She then spent some time stroking my bottom remarking what a nice smooth ass I had and making my cock stir.
Then she took up position to land the blows and said,
"What a pretty little ass you have. Now I want you to count each stroke in a little girls voice. When I finish you may approach me, thank me and kiss the crop.
I understood but was not prepared for what happened next. She took off her top clothes revealing sexy undies. She then awarded me two more strokes for staring.
I had caned myself before but nothing prepared me for this pain. After the third stroke I could barely utter the word three. They were not quickly delivered, there was an age between each one, allowing the pain and humiliation to consume me.
After the sixth stroke she put the crop down next to my head before removing her black panties. She then put them under my face by my nose carefully arranging them so I caught her full aroma.
I had to lift my face, I was not allowed to touch, only smell.
The blows then continued up to twelve. With some difficulty I raised myself and was not able to rearrange myself quickly enough to hard my hard on. She noticed it with a pitiful look.
"So you like being cropped do you sissy boy?" she asked me when I curtseyed to her.
"Yes Mistress." Was all I could think to simper remembering how sexy her aroma was.
"Thank you for correcting me Mistress." I continued before bending to kiss the crop, which was on her lap.
"Bring me my knickers." She ordered, I bobbed a curtsey and complied but she didn't take them.
"You enjoyed smelling these didn't you?" she asked contemptuously.
"Yes Mistress." I truthfully replied, flushing, having learned not to hesitate
"Pathetic isn't it, smelling women's knickers, women's worn knickers." She mused
"But that is what you are isn't it, pathetic, a pathetic little pervert?"
"Well, pathetic little pervert, you may kiss them."
"Kiss them, tenderly. You know you want to, don't you."
I lifted them to my lips closed my eyes and letting the aroma fill my nostrils kissed them, savouring the moment. Crushed and in pain I opened my eyes to find her looking at me in triumph.
Mother and daughter were very similar in their look, they were both feisty and being together brought this to the fore, they egged each other on.
Several evenings into her mothers visit they were discussing me as if I wasn't there. I was though, in a black evening uniform and standing with my hands clasped in front of me and head bowed by the door of the lounge, awaiting instructions.
In truth I was tired having spent another day being trained by her mother but unlike other evenings I had not been dismissed so I could eat their leftovers and then retire to bed. I was hungry.
When they spoke to me now they both had the tone of talking to someone who was inferior, rather dumb. When speaking to each other they communicated much quicker, always with much amusement as they went along.
"You've done wonders with his appearance." Jenny said looking at me over the back of the sofa as she sat down.
"Yes, it is much better isn't it, the wig and falsies really help." she replied.
"Mm, quite the little lady!" at which they both giggled.
"Now," mother went on "about Mr Walsh?"
"Well I don't see why not, will our little maid be safe though?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well. Mr Walsh is a dirty old sod, isn't he. He is always leering at me."
"He certainly leered at your maid."
There was more laughter and I flushed.
"Yes." Her mother said standing up and approaching me "The thing is you don't need to care what Mr Walsh does, I mean as long as it doesn't permanently damage our little sissy he can do what he wants."
She stroked my cheek and checked under my chin for stubble. I had agreed to take drugs that would inhibit male hair growth, female hormones. She seemed satisfied.
"I expect he will expect other things as well as cleaning the house, but he is willing to pay you and the money will come in useful to keep pansy here in frillies."
I knew I was in no position to argue or indeed speak. They were not talking too me but about me. A couple of times they told me not to fidget but I was becoming uncomfortable at the though of going to Mr Walsh's house. Especially after they decided that I should call him and offer to wear a short frilly uniform.
They also decided to refer to me as Pansy and she. It seemed ridiculous talking about me as a he when I looked and dressed in feminine clothes. So my last duty that evening was to phone Mr Walsh.
"Hello Mr Walsh it's Andi here." I simpered
He was surprised, somewhat taken aback but then recovered his composure.
"Hello, what can I do for you?"
I was aware Jenny and her mother would be eavesdropping on the conversation, I had been warned to be respectful and sound like a maid.
"Well Sir, I understand you want me to come and clean your house."
"Well yes, that would be lovely, when can you come."
"My Mistress thinks that next Tuesday would be a good day." I said knowing what I was going to have to ask next and hearing anticipation in his voice already as he replied.
"Excellent, Tuesday would be excellent."
There was a lull as I plucked up courage to say
"Now Sir, about your uniform requirements."
"Naturally I shall expect you in uniform." He replied.
"Yes Sir, there are several choices." I said and listed off my uniforms ending with the words "and a French style Sir"
"French style eh.?" he repeated
"Yes Sir, it is a short black flared one."
"Ah, it shows off your legs then?"
In the background I could hear the women surppressing their helpless giggles.
"Well that sounds nice, perhaps with a nice pair of stockings?"
"If you wish Sir."
"I do wish."
When they heard he wanted me in stockings the women were helpless again.
"Not much cleaning going to go on there!"
"Well, not that sort of cleaning."
Before dismissing me mother addressed me, her daughter silent just watched.
"Now listen pansy, next Tuesday, when you go to Mr Walsh's you will be perfectly turned out and you will see he is satisfied. If he has any complaints you will be in trouble.
You will be pleasantly compliant doing what ever he requires willingly, with a little smile.
Before that visit however, there were more humiliations to live through. Mother had decided that my progress needed to be speeded up, yes there were the hormones and yes I was now permanently in female clothes.
The problem, she told Jenny over the phone one morning while Jenny was at work, was my undies. They weren't feminine enough, in fact they were downright boring. I wore matching colours but I needed matching sets and they needed to be more lacy, more frilly. This would emphasise my non-male sissy status and be a constant reminder to me of my position, every time I moved.
After the conversation she took me into town to start my collection, mail order often took a few days to arrive and she didn't want to wait.
Before leaving I had to wait for her in my room in my bra and panties.
"This is exactly my point, look at you, creased petticoat, chipped nail polish on your toes.
What a slut, get your hands up."
I put my hands on my head and she came round behind me and started to adjust my undies and petticoat. She pulled the petticoat round my waist so the label was in the correct place then smoothed my ass. Involuntarily I moaned and her hand came round to my stirring tool.
"Well, well my little sissykins, what have we here?" she said manipulating me through my nylon undies.
"We can't go shopping for pretty undies with a hard weenie can we?"
"No Mistress." I said breathlessly.
"No, what are we going to do about it then, eh, what shall we do about it?"
"Ah, ah, I don't know Mistress." I gasped stimulated but dreading what was going to come next.
"Well I think you need milking, then you'll be able to concentrate on looking good for the job in hand won't you." She sweetly said as she stopped manipulating me.
Equally sweetly she sent me for one of my food bowls and a spoon. She wanted to make sure the job was done properly so she had me pull my panties and tights down before putting my hands on my head again. She lifted my petticoat out of the way. Expertly and with that feminine touch she started to manipulate me again.
"Look and learn," she said "I very much expect you will be handling quite a few of these."
I came into the bowl in no time then she had me kneel down next to her.
With the sweetest smile she said "And my sweet little thing, you will be tasting your fair share of this." as she fed me my cum, turning each spoonful over in my mouth onto my tongue so I got the full taste.
So I prepared myself to go out again for yet another bout of humiliation. Thankfully she decided I wasn't ready for public transport yet so she drove. I sat demurely in the front seat with my legs together and my hands on my lap wearing a white blouse and long black skirt. I was still not used to being out en-femme so I felt everyone was looking at me.
I was also rigid with fear, at the thought of shopping for lingerie in a department store but to my relief we drove to a little lingerie shop. My mother in law was warmly greeted by the lady in the shop, who looked at me with a knowing smirk on her face. She was about thirty and dressed in a tight short black skirt and top. She was quite sexy.
"And what have we here?"
"This," she replied with an equal smirk "is my son-in-law."
The shop keeper was taken aback.
"Son-in-law?" she repeated incredulously, with mock surprise.
"Yes, son-in-law and I've come hear to sort out his, or shall we say her lingerie."
The shop keeper looked me up and down as mother in law went on to explain the situation with some enthusiasm.
"You see she loves dressing in feminine clothes and so my daughter has decided she can have the full experience, she is going to be the house maid.
And I think she should be as feminine as possible.
You know gorgeous it is to wear pretty lingerie, how feminine it makes you feel?"
"Mmmm yes, it's lovely."
"Exactly, I want this little madam to know that feeling. Trapped in lingerie."
"But I know about these men, I've had them in here before, they, well, can get rather exited wearing frilly undies. Won't she spend the whole time turned on, a state of permanent arousal?"
"Yes I'm sure she will, feeling sexy lingerie next to her skin will drive her mad."
"Ah I see." The shop lady replied fully understanding my mother in law.
She decided to send me out the back and told me to strip naked to try on the various collections. They agreed that full cut panties were required to hold me in, even though there wasn't much to hold. The shop keeper insisted I wore my high heels with each set so I moved better.
As I paraded up and down my mother in law told the shop assistant about her last purchase, a black teddy set. Her latest boyfriend had loved it and wanted her to get a red one. She had enjoyed several nights of passion in it. The women discussed various things, including me and my appearance but I was never consulted, just given an order every so often.
They were enjoying themselves and so was I. The lingerie was lovely, sexy and feminine and to my utter embarrassment my tool stirred again. They both noticed immediately.
"What have we here?" the shop lady asked in mock disgust
"I can't understand it I milked her before we came." Mother in law replied.
They both looked at me as I went to hide my further embarrassment. I was immediately told to my hands behind my back. I couldn't help it my penis jerked up a couple of times through the panties and petticoat I was wearing at the time.
The two women burst into helpless laughter.
"Is that the best she can do?" The shop lady spluttered.
"Yes, it's tiny isn't it. The poor little tart can't help herself, she'll have a constant little stiffy."
At which there was more laughter. My mother in law approached me and rubbed my crotch. I flinched at her touch.
"I think we'll take these, now she's made a mess in them." She continued.
The shop keeper approached as well and they discussed what and how many I needed. Mother in law continued to rub me. Mockingly she said as I closed my eyes,
"That's right my little sweet, from now on you will be in frillies and you will be able to close your eyes and imagine my rubbing you, just like this."
"Please no, please." I stuttered.
"And who said you could speak bitch." She hissed. She had gone from mocking pity to anger and she stopped rubbing me. "I'll deal with you later, get you dress back on."
Later she recounted the tale of my pitiful lack of control to Jenny after their dinner. Jenny wasn't in the least surprised, she knew I was a "dirty little sod." The two women agreed that I was well suited to my new role but they had reservations.
What my mother in law needed was more time so they decided I could extend my training by moving to her house. Her boyfriend knew all about my position and couldn't wait to meet me.
Once again I was taken aback and must have gasped.
Her mother addressed me.
"Well what did you expect, Jenny would like some space, after all she's an attractive woman. I expect you'll see her from time to time.
Now run along and pack. I'm going to check your case and I want you to remember you are a faggot. You won't have any need for any male clothes."
"No Miss." I simper
"No Mistress." She corrected me "I am now your Mistress and you will address me a such."
And so my life changed completely, my little loft room is at my mother-in-laws but she is no longer my mother in law as Jenny divorced me and as for Mr Walsh, well that is another story.
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