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Jeannie: Shared Secrets
By Janis Elizabeth
My sister Sharon was now married and on her honeymoon. Having been a part of her wedding and serving as her Maid of Honor, I thought that everything in my life was just perfect. Unfortunately, a problem was lurking in the shadows for me, ready to rear its ugly head at a moment's notice. I had a hint of it after the wedding, when Robby said that she wanted us to get married within six months of our high school graduation. I did not want to rush into marriage. I wanted Robby to be established as an auto mechanic and I wanted to get my education so that I could make a contribution to our family by doing more than just being a housewife who holds a minimum wage job at the local fast food place. I mean we had to consider when, and if, we had children. Although I would wear maternity apparel throughout any pregnancy, it would be Robby that would actually deliver our child or children. I felt that I needed to have a good, steady income to be able to provide a paycheck during any leave of absence Robby would take from her work.
I did not consider this to be a major problem between us. I thought that it could be worked out to our satisfaction. However, it became a serious problem on New Year's Eve when Robby again touched on the subject of us getting married. This problem caused us to break up that evening. Although I loved her deeply, even in the reversed roles of our relationship, I was not ready to commit to marriage within the next year, as she wanted. Robby, however, could not understand my feelings on this subject. When she asked for her ring back and left shortly before the New Year arrived, I felt as if my entire world had ended.
The loss of Robby caused me to cry like I had never cried before. I was crying so badly after she left that I could hardly see clearly to get to my room. I lay across my bed, wiping the tears from my eyes with tissues. I couldn't even bring myself to get ready for bed. I needed to talk with someone about all of this. I felt that my confidant and best friend in my new life as Jeannie was my sister. But, how could I unburden myself to her since she was just beginning her new life with her husband. That night, I just lay across my bed and cried myself to sleep.
Mom must have come in to my room during the night and seen me lying across my bed still dressed in my clothes from the night before. When I awoke on New Year's morning, I found that all of my tissues had been moved and I had a blanket covering me. I lay there with the realization of what had just happened last night. I didn't want to get up. I just wanted to stay in bed and cover my head. Perhaps the world would go away and leave me alone. However, Mom was not going to let this happen. She cheerily came into my room and announced that it was time to get up. When I said that I didn't want to, Mom asked me why not. It was only then that I lifted my face from the pillow and told Mom that Robby and I had broken up on New Year's Eve. With that, I let out another sob as Mom handed me the box of tissues. She sat beside me and comforted me while I cried. After a few minutes, Mom suggested that I shower and get dressed in a nice outfit. She felt that we could talk about things over breakfast once I was fully awake. I smiled weakly at Mom and said I would be out in a few minutes. She made sure that I was out of bed and starting to remove my satin blouse and denim skirt from the night before.
While Mom went to the kitchen to fix breakfast, I slowly removed my lingerie, picked up a clean pair of satin panties, my towel and a terry robe and went to take my shower. As I passed the mirror, I looked at my face, all puffy from all of my crying. To say the least, I looked like a wreck. I put on my shower cap to protect my hair and stepped into the shower. The hot spray seemed to sting as it hit my body. As I washed, the hot water seemed to drain away some of the hurt that I was feeling from our breakup and Robby's departure. Once out of the shower, I slowly dried myself and used some of the scented lilac bath talc Mom, Sharon and I routinely used. I stepped into my panties, drew the robe around me and went back to my room to get dressed.
It took about fifteen minutes for me to rejoin Mom in the kitchen. In spite of how I was feeling inside, I decided to make myself look pretty on the outside. I wore a light green, short sleeve satin blouse and black A-line skirt over my satin lingerie. I put my two-inch pumps on my feet and then carefully did my hair and makeup. Lastly, I used some perfume to try to lift my spirits. Although, I still felt terrible inside, I thought that I presented a pretty picture on the outside. I smiled weakly at my image in the mirror.
As I entered the kitchen, I was surprised to see that three places were set at the table. I started to ask Mom about it but was interrupted by the doorbell. Mom asked if I would get that, as she was momentarily busy. When I answered the door, I saw Mrs. Willingham, the Headmistress of Manor Hill standing there. Mrs. W had been a good friend of Mom's for many years and, as it turned out, had come over this morning as soon as Mom called her and mentioned what had happened to me. She put her arm around my shoulder and walked me back to the kitchen. Mom had a full, hot breakfast waiting on our plates as we entered. Even though I didn't feel hungry, I was polite and sat at the table with Mom and Mrs. W.
I sipped my orange juice and had a piece of toast while we talked. Of course they gently asked about what had happened between Robby and I last night and I told them everything, especially why we broke up. As they ate, they listened sympathetically to me. Once I had finished, Mrs. W. looked at me and said, "Now, Jeannie, where will you go from here? Do you let this defeat you or do you move on?" Before I could answer, she asked whether or not I wanted to continue being Jeannie. If so, would I want a full feminine life and take the next step of one day having the surgery? If not, would I revert to my former persona as Gene? Would I only be Jeannie in private and try to live a normal life as Gene? And lastly, since this had been the original issue, had I given any thought about what I would do with my life once I graduated from Manor Hill, assuming I wanted to finish my senior year at Manor Hill? She posed the questions in very rapid-fire fashion.
As I thought about all of Mrs. W's questions, I suddenly realized that I was hungry. I started to taste the food that Mom had put before me. This also gave me a few more minutes to ponder my responses. After I thought for a bit, I put down my fork, looked at Mom and Mrs. W. and said that, first and foremost, I wanted to graduate from Manor Hill Girls School. I had also become too accustomed to being Jeannie to ever want to revert to my former persona as Gene. I also didn't want Jeannie to be closet-bound, visible only for a brief period at a time while I tried to cope with my life as Gene. While I was Jeannie in every way but my gender, I did not want to consider changing to be fully female. As things stood right now, I could still be a natural parent, if I were to marry a woman. However, if I had THE surgery, that possibility disappeared completely. Both Mom and Mrs. W. were pleased with my responses, especially the last one.
I did have to admit though that I really hadn't given much thought to my life after Manor Hill. At that point, Mrs. W. asked if she could make a suggestion as to a possible career path for me. I looked at her and nodded. She first pointed out that, as Jeannie, I had developed into an academic standout, which she didn't think I would have achieved as Gene. She also knew that within the "Four Musketeers", I seemed to be the one, during study breaks, that regularly offered assistance to my friends by explaining some of the coursework we had just covered. With that in mind, she suggested that I consider becoming a teacher, with an emphasis on being a guidance counselor. Perhaps I could major in education and minor in psychology or even do a double major in college. When I graduated, she felt certain that I could get a job in the schools counseling others regarding gender related issues, especially since I had already lived through many of them myself as Jeannie. Her final point was that there were scholarships available for me if I chose to follow her suggestion.
Mrs. W. pointed out that I should take the time over the next few weeks and discuss this with Mom. If I decided to follow the path that she had laid before me, Mrs. W. would assist me with my college application, help secure scholarships and provide letters of recommendation from herself and from selected members of Manor Hill's faculty. When I looked at her questioningly, she assured me that several teachers, including my cheerleading coach, Miss Bliss, had been told, in confidence, that I was a "special" student.
I was surprised that several of the faculty in addition to Mrs. W. knew that I was not necessarily what I seemed. To my mind, I was treated no differently than any other student at Manor Hill. As I thought about it, I was pleased that I had been so totally accepted by all as Jeannie. With that realization, I first looked at Mom and smiled for the first time in the New Year and then told Mrs. W. that her idea was a good one and I wanted to begin the application process for both the college and the scholarship. I leaned over and hugged Mrs. W. and told her that I would appreciate any assistance she could provide. I think that I might have embarrassed her in the process of giving her a hug. I looked at Mom and she seemed pleased with my decision. I than resumed eating breakfast, making sure I ate like Jeannie and not like Gene. After all, I still wanted to keep my girlish figure. Following breakfast, I went and read in the living room as Mom and Mrs. W. chatted in the kitchen for some time. When she left, Mrs. W. said she would see me Monday when school reopened. I looked up from my reading, smiled and said I was looking forward to it.
The first day back at school was difficult in one way. Sarah, Rachel and Amy learned of my breakup with Robby. They commiserated with me over my loss. Still and all, it was good to be back for my last semester, although I was becoming quite attached to my school uniforms and would miss having to wear the white satin blouse with either the skirt or the jumper. Additionally, I spent my lunch hour with Mrs. W., completing all the forms for college and for scholarships. She had taken the liberty of completing as much of it as she could for me so that all I had to do was put on the finishing touches. Once I signed all of the forms, Mrs. W. assured me that they would be sent off shortly.
The semester moved along rather quickly, except for the week prior to Valentine's Day. Each day of that week, I thought back to last year, going to the dance with Robby, wearing my red satin lingerie under my red satin dress and having a wonderful time. This year, I would just be staying at home that evening and reading a good book. My friends, tried to arrange dates for me with some boys that they knew. Although their intentions were good, I would smile at them for each of their endeavors and say that, for the present, I wasn't interested in starting to date again. However, I did receive two unsigned Valentines in the mail on February 14. I thought that I recognized the handwriting on both. One, I thought, was from Robby and was a mildly humorous card with no sentimentality. At least it wasn't a poison pen letter. The other, although I recognized the writing, I could not specifically identify who had written it. This one seemed to be the more romantic, mushier card that one usually sees for Valentine's Day.
In my life, March not only came in like the proverbial lion, it went out like one also. Early in the month, Mrs. W. asked if I would stop by the office before I went home. After my last class, I carried my books and my purse to the office. When I went in, the office secretary said I should go right in. Mrs. W. looked up from her desk and smiled at me as I entered. She reached for several letters sitting beside her and handed them to me. The first letter was my acceptance to the college in town. Mrs. W. had assured me that they offered the specific program that I wanted and it was the very best one available. The other papers were letters from three diverse gender-based organizations advising me that each was awarding me a four-year scholarship for my intended area of study, conditional only on my maintaining a suitable GPA. Combined, these scholarships would cover my tuition, books and provide some spending money. Additionally, one of the organizations included an offer of a summer job, starting this summer, to begin my internship working with those with gender issues.
I was speechless as I looked up at a beaming Mrs. W. When I finally regained my composure, I thanked her profusely for her help, including the letters of recommendation that were submitted. She assured me that all of the members of the faculty that knew I was a special student were overjoyed to offer their support for my career objectives. Mrs. W. arose, came around her desk and gave me a big hug. She asked that I keep her advised of my progress in school after I graduated from Manor Hill. I assured her I would. When I left her office that afternoon, I was walking on air over my good fortune. Both Mom and Sharon were delighted to hear of my college acceptance, my scholarships and my internship.
Mom also informed me that we needed to go shopping for dresses, since I needed one for Senior Day, another for graduation and possibly, one for the Senior Prom. At Manor Hill, you did not have to attend the prom with a date, although that severely limited how much enjoyment you might have. I was leaning toward attending the prom, especially since my friends were encouraging me to attend, even if I did not want to have a date. Amy had already decided to attend the prom alone and was hoping I would do likewise. Since I would not be the only girl alone there, I was seriously considering it. No sense in missing a good party merely because I didn't have a date.
I always enjoyed shopping with Mom, especially when it meant looking for pretty gowns for me. Since Matt had to work overtime on a project, my sister Sharon was able to join us for a girls' day out. I was up early that Saturday morning, having gotten my shower out of the way first. I dressed in my white satin bra, making sure my breast forms were properly positioned. I wrapped my satin garter belt around my waist and fastened it properly. As I stepped into my white, lacy, satin panties, I made sure to position my maxi pad to keep me tucked. I always felt so feminine when I had a pad in my panties. Nude stockings and a white satin slip completed my lingerie. Since we were going shopping, I lightly applied my makeup so that there was just a trace of blush and mascara. Of course, I coated my lips with lipstick and blotted them on a tissue. I put on a white cotton blouse, a black A-line skirt and my flats, although I did have a pair of four-inch heels to wear when I tried on a gown. Lastly, I brushed my shoulder length hair before pulling it into a ponytail and tying a print satin scarf around it.
Mom had chosen to wear a dark green pants outfit today. She drove and we went to pick up Sharon, who emerged from her house smiling while wearing a pretty, satiny print, sheath dress. I teased her, saying I needed to go through her closets to see what I wanted to borrow to wear. Sharon laughed and said that I should feel free to browse in her closets and borrow anything that I wanted to wear. I laughed and said I would keep her offer in mind. Mom listened to us, enjoying the friendly bantering going on between her daughters.
We arrived at the bridal/formal salon and parked the car in the adjacent lot. Mom assured me that they would have dresses for all three occasions. An older sales associate greeted us warmly as we entered the salon. After I explained what I was looking for and my size, Diane, our sales associate, went off to find a few dresses while we looked through the racks for a prom gown. In a few minutes, Diane returned with white dresses for both Senior Day and graduation.
Carrying my heels into the fitting room, I removed my blouse, skirt and flats. I slid my feet into my four-inch heels and tried on the first white dress for Senior Day. Sharon stood ready to offer her assistance and her comments. The first two dresses just were not right for me, although they looked lovely and fit beautifully. The third, a knit that seemed to cling to me and flow gently with each movement of my body was perfect. It was sleeveless with a rounded neck and a full flowing skirt. It additionally met the school requirement of having the hem of the dress within six inches of the ground. Sharon had zipped up the dress and then stood back to look at me. Even before she said anything, I knew that this was the dress that I wanted for Senior Day and said so. She agreed and so did Mom when she saw it. One dress selected and two more dresses to go.
Next, I tried on some shorter dresses, more appropriate to wear under my white graduation robe. Again, the third dress I tried on was definitely the one for me. It was a plain satin dress with a full skirt that fell to just below my knees. The dress had short sleeves and a slight vee neckline. I twirled around as Sharon watched. My skirt billowed out slightly showing my lovely satin slip underneath. Mom thought that I would look lovely at graduation in that dress.
Lastly, I needed to select a prom gown. When Diane heard that I was a senior at Manor Hill, she selected three prom gowns in the exact shade of blue as in our school colors. One gown stood out from the others. It was sleeveless with a cowl neckline. The fitted skirt flowed to my ankles and gave me ease of walking. Additionally, the skirt had alternating blue and white satin panels, which enhanced the overall appearance of the gown. It gave a dramatic effect when I walked. I thought briefly that it looked like a longer version of my cheerleader's uniform. Mom and Sharon both told me how lovely I looked wearing it. Mom said I could also use my elbow length gloves from Sharon's wedding to compliment the gown. Sharon offered a suggestion on how I could wear my hair.
After I changed back into my clothes, I handed Diane all three dresses. While Mom paid the bill, Sharon asked how I was doing since my breakup with Robby. I looked at her, nodded slightly and said I was getting by. Sometimes it was hard though, because I thought that Robby was the one true love of my life. Sharon nodded in understanding, saying she wished she could help me out of my blues. I simply looked at her and smiled weakly; still afraid to talk or think about it for fear that I would break out in tears at any moment. Sharon reached out and hugged me to comfort me. While hugging me, she said that one day I would find that special person who would love me unconditionally as Jeannie and that I would love in return. I quickly composed myself and planned on enjoying the rest of this day with my Mom and my sister. As we carried my new dresses to the car, we chatted about how we would spend the rest of the day shopping. Mostly, we just browsed through the stores, trying on one or two things that caught our eye. As it turned out, I also got a new pink, ankle-length satin nightgown and some lacy white satin lingerie. All in all, it was a good time for all of us.
At the end of March, I was back in Mrs. W's office along with Sarah, Amy and Rachel, receiving our recognition as again we received all A's and made the Distinguished Honor Roll. Mrs. W. informed us that she had never had a four-way tie for valedictorian, but that this year might be the first time that it happened, as we were all very close in our GPA's. She also congratulated each of us for having been accepted at college. Rachel and Sarah were going upstate to major in pre-med and pre-law respectively. They would even be roommates their freshman year. Amy wanted to be a teacher and was going to a nearby school to major in elementary education. We all graciously accepted her praise over our academic accomplishments. As we left the office we were chatting and giggling about many things. Rachel and Sarah couldn't stay long as their moms were picking them up for various other activities. Amy asked if she could walk home with me and talk. I readily agreed to her company.
As we walked, Amy wanted to know if she could ask me some personal questions about Robby and me. While I usually tried to steer the conversation elsewhere whenever Robby's name arose, I agreed to answer her questions as best as I could.
Her first question almost caused me to stop breathing. She asked, "Is Robby a boy or a girl?" Before I could say anything, Amy went on to say that, through her mom, she had known Elaine Rogers for many years. She always thought that Elaine had a daughter named Roberta, who usually went by the name Bobbi. When she first saw Robby with me, she had her suspicions, but never voiced them to anyone, not even to her mom or to Sarah or Rachel. She then assured me, in confidence that this chat would stay private between us and not be spread around.
I was still in shock from what Amy had first said and was hesitant to reply. Amy looked at me seriously and said that if Robby was a girl, was I really a boy and not a girl? I felt like my world had just ended in that instant. I almost wanted to just sit down on the curb, bury my head in my hands and cry. Amy sensed my distress and put her arm around me to try to comfort me. "Jeannie, you have been a very special and dear friend to me during the last two years here at Manor Hill. When I first met you, I was a very shy person. You have brightened my life with your positive attitude and, I think, caused me to study harder just to keep up with you academically. I don't want to do anything that would cause harm to you or jeopardize our friendship, since you mean so much to me. If you don't want to answer or you just want to walk away from me, I will understand." At that moment, Amy seemed to be in almost a much distress as I was.
I caught my breath and slowly told Amy I would answer all of her questions, if she wanted, once we got to my house. The rest of the walk home was in relative silence, as I considered what my life would be like once my secret was revealed at school. At best, my friends would most likely shun me forever. At worst, I could almost hear their taunts and derisive comments toward me. Amy, for her part, did not speak since she wasn't sure what to say at this moment. When we arrived at my home, I went in and put my books in my room as Amy followed me back. I sat on my bed, smoothing my uniform skirt under me, while Amy sat on my desk chair, eying my actions and taking in the feminine ambiance of my room.
After taking a deep breath to compose myself, I told Amy everything. I spoke of my first weekend when I admitted to my sister of my desire to wear some of her things and how Sharon had helped me take my first feminine steps. I spoke of Robby, or Roberta, as Amy knew her, and our reverse relationship. I spoke of being in Sharon's wedding, serving as her Maid of Honor and of the breakup with Robby over whether we should get married fresh out of high school. By the time I finished, I was looking down at the floor, feeling that Amy must have a sense of revulsion toward me. I was also certain that, come Monday morning, this would be spread throughout Manor Hill. During my narration, Amy stayed quiet, listening to all that I said. Even though I felt relieved at revealing my secret to someone else, I was sad that this chapter in Jeannie's life was now apparently over. I guess I had now resigned myself to becoming Gene again and attending Forest County again until graduation. I closed my eyes and wanted to cry.
I didn't realize that Amy had stood and had moved in front of me until I felt the gentle touch of her hands cupping my chin and lifting it up. She softly stroked my cheek as she stood there quietly. After a few seconds, she said, "Jeannie, ever since I first knew you, I have felt an unexplained attraction to you, something I have never felt for any girl or boy for that matter. I thought there was something wrong with me. I even sent you a Valentine's card, trying to express what I feel for you, although I could not bring myself to sign it and possibly turn you away from me. I am surprised but I am not offended by what you have just told me. I am overjoyed, for your sake, that you have been able to explore your inner self and discover your feminine side. I want to stay your friend and, if possible, become more than just a friend." With that, she leaned down and gently kissed me on the lips.
I was totally confused by Amy's action. Here I had just said that I was a guy wearing girl's clothing and she implies, through her kiss, that she wants to consider a long-term relationship with me. As we broke from our kiss, all I could do was hug her tightly and bury my head on her shoulder. Amy gently stroked my hair, telling me everything was all right, while I regained my self-control. After I had regained my composure, Amy and I sat in my room and talked for several hours. When Mom came home, she invited Amy to stay for dinner. After dinner, as we moved to the family room, I first looked at Amy and then at Mom and said simply, "She now knows." Mom looked at a smiling Amy, who had reached for my hand after I made my announcement, and understood. She first hugged Amy and then hugged me. I said we would be taking it slowly to see how things progressed. As it was late, Mom offered to drive Amy home. Naturally, I rode with her, as we sat in the back holding hands. At Amy's house, Mom parked under a large tree, which shielded us from view. Amy and I exchanged a nice tender kiss before she went into the house. That night, as I put on my nightgown, I thought about the sudden turnaround in my life. Here was Amy accepting me as I am without her trying to be something different also. I was very curious as to where my relationship with Amy would go over the next few weeks or months.
Amy and I started doing things together, like study dates at the library, movies (Dutch treat, of course) and shopping like two teenage girls. Once in a while, Amy would spring for the tickets for a concert or a special event. In the darkened theater, we would sit and hold hands. Amy had access to a car, so she could drive us wherever we wanted to go. Her parents knew that I was special to Amy but figured I was, as I appeared, a pretty young lady. They were very supportive of their daughter, even when they walked into their family room and found us sharing a loving kiss. Although I hadn't stopped going to church, I again looked forward to putting on a pretty dress and sitting with someone special in the pew. We were both very proper in our conduct whenever we were around others, especially in church. To all outward appearances, we were only two pretty teenage friends sitting together through the service.
In April, Mom reminded me that I needed to call Elaine and tell her that I would not be working for her this summer as a lifeguard. While I knew I had to make this call, I was trying to avoid it, because I didn't want to have contact with Robby. Nevertheless, I made the requisite phone call, hoping that Elaine would be the one to answer the phone. However, I was not that lucky as Robby answered instead. I quickly asked if her mom was there. She said she was, but before I could ask to speak with her, Robby asked me about how school was and how I was doing.
I answered all of her questions as briefly but politely as I could since I didn't want to prolong the conversation. Robby then said she missed me and wondered if we could go back and start over from New Year's Eve. I reminded her that I was not the one that asked for her ring back and then left before the New Year arrived. I asked her if she still felt that we should be married right out of high school. She said that, with her job as a mechanic and earning potential from when she opened her own business, she would be able to support me, after we were married, so that I wouldn't need a college education or have to work. If I really wanted to go to school, I could take some business courses at the local community college so that I could take care of the books for her business. I reminded her that my ideas on education and career hadn't changed and that in the long run, my education would prove beneficial to us. She asked if she could keep in touch with me after high school. I told her that it would be fine.
At that point, I asked to speak to her mom. Elaine came on the line a few seconds later. She was sorry to hear that I wouldn't be working with her at the pool this summer, but she understood that I had an internship that would provide insight into my future career. Elaine told me what a good worker I was and that she would be happy to write a letter of recommendation for me any time I needed one. I thanked her for her kind offer. Just before she said goodbye, Elaine said that she wished things could have worked out between Robby and I, for she thought I had been a good influence on Robby. However, she understood how headstrong her daughter could be once she had an idea in her head. She wished me well in the coming days and hoped that I didn't harbor any ill will toward her or toward Roberta. I assured her that I felt I was still on good terms with both of them. With that, I said my goodbyes and hung up, thankful that my first encounter with Robby since the New Year had gone so calmly.
I couldn't believe that my time at Manor Hill Girls School was quickly drawing to a close. It seemed like only yesterday that I started my junior year there, while still finding my way as Jeannie. Now, I was about to graduate as a confident young woman with a possible future career in providing counseling for those, especially teens, with gender-based issues. Before graduation, however, I still had three big events to go through as a part of my senior year.
The first of these events was the Headmistress' tea, held the Monday afternoon before Senior Day. This event, traditionally, was the time when Mrs. W. said her individual goodbyes, in a somewhat informal manner, to the departing seniors. We gathered in the school hall, just off from Mrs. W's office. By direction, all of the girls had worn their light blue skirts with their white uniform blouses and their dark blue blazers that day. I had even taken extra care that morning, as I got ready for school. My makeup was understated, as it should be for a high school girl, although I did use a little more lipstick than normal. My hair had been brushed and lightly styled before I applied hairspray to keep it nicely in place.
As we entered the hall, Mrs. W and several of our teachers formed a receiving line and greeted each of us individually. At the far end was a table with several pots of tea and assorted pastry and cakes. Each of the girls took tea and a sweet and we chatted with our teachers. Our teachers were very gracious as they talked to the four of us. I glanced at Amy once or twice while we were standing there. She seemed to glow with a degree of confidence that I had not previously noticed. Mrs. W. was talking to the girls, either singly or in pairs. As she came over to us, she beamed at what she called her four scholars. She said what a pleasure it had been to have four academically gifted students achieve at the same high level of excellence throughout their two years together. This caused all of us to blush slightly. Mrs. W. said that it was good that we still had that degree of innocence and could still blush, especially over compliments. Before she moved on, she asked if we would meet briefly with her in her office after the tea. We said we would be there, although none of us had any idea why she wanted to see us.
We were waiting in the outer office when Mrs. W. returned from the tea. She smiled and invited us into her office and to take seats. I smoothed my skirt under me and sat, waiting to learn why we were invited back. Mrs. W. sat and immediately began, saying she wanted to tell us our class ranking and determine which of us would be the Valedictorian and the Salutatorian for our upcoming graduation. She said that is was a very difficult decision because we were within a tenth of a point of each other on our GPA's.
She first faced Amy and said that the A- she received in Phys. Ed. was enough to cause her GPA to be a tenth of a point behind the Valedictorian. As such she would graduate fourth in her class. Mrs. W. said she hoped there was no disappointment. Amy beamed and said that when she first entered Manor Hill, she was hoping simply to graduate. Now, she learned that she would rank fourth in the class. This pleased her greatly.
Mrs. W. smiled as she turned to face us, saying that we had caused her a unique problem, one that she wished she had every year. It seems that all three of us finished identical GPA's. Her problem then was which one of us was to be Valedictorian. Amy asked if she could offer a suggestion. After receiving permission, she said that since Rachel and Sarah had been students at Manor Hill for all four years, it was only fair that they should split the duties, with me graduating third in the class. Mrs. W. thanked Amy for her thoughtful idea and said that was one possibility that she had been mulling over. After much reflection though, she had decided that Rachel and Sarah would share the honor of being the class Valedictorian and would each deliver a farewell address for our class. The Salutatorian, delivering the welcoming address, then would be me. Once she revealed her decision, we all started talking excitedly among ourselves. Mrs. W. allowed us to talk for a few seconds before she regained order. She said that it had been a pleasure having the four of us at Manor Hill and wished us well in our future endeavors both academic and social.
As we arose to leave, Mrs. W. asked me if I could stay for a little longer. While my friends left the office, I sat back down into my chair. After the door was closed, Mrs. W. told me, in strictest confidence, why she was always interested in special students such as I. She spoke of her brother who, when he was a teenager, had begun to dress in private in feminine things. He kept the secret from his family and hid his clothes in the back of his closet. It wasn't until after he died, killed in an automobile accident the night of his high school graduation, that anyone learned of his secret. Mrs. W. was helping clean his room when she found his hidden feminine apparel in the closet. It didn't take long for Mrs. W. to realize her brother was an even more special person than she had known. Her mom was hurt and ashamed by the discovery and would not speak of her brother ever again. Since then, Mrs. W. vowed that, if she were ever in the position to assist a special student, she would do everything possible to help out. "That's why when your mom first approached me about Jeannie, I was glad to offer a viable alternative. I hope you will continue developing into the creative, loving, gentle and compassionate person that I have had the privilege and pleasure of knowing these last two years." With that, she came around her desk, gave me a big hug and said that I should make everyone at Manor Hill proud of me in everything I did in the future. I assured her I would. As I left her office, I thought how lucky I had been as Jeannie to find such a considerate and understanding administrator as Mrs. W. for my high school years.
The first rays of sunlight streamed through the filmy curtains across my face, causing me to rouse from a pleasant and dreamy slumber. As I stretched, I felt my long satin nightgown move against my body. I quickly got up and went to the bathroom for my shower. I took the rollers out of my hair, removed my nightgown, put on my shower cap and took a nice hot shower. Today was Senior Day and I had allowed myself extra time so that I would look perfect for our class picture. I dried off, used the bath talc, wrapped my towel properly around me and headed for my room to get ready.
I quickly put on my white satin bra, garter belt and panties and put my pad in place. I slid my nude nylons on my legs and fastened the tops to my garters. After putting on my ankle-length full satin slip, I sat at my vanity to do my makeup and hair. Fortunately, I had done my toenails and fingernails last night so I did not have to worry with them today. My nails glistened from the wet look red polish on them. My eye shadow, lipstick and blush all complemented the color of my nails. Just as I was putting on my lipstick, Mom came in and offered to do my hair. I was grateful for her offer because I knew she would make it look nice. She suggested I put my white dress on first, being careful not to get any of my makeup on the dress. With her guidance and help, I put on my dress without a mishap.
After I had the dress on, Mom zipped up the back. I again marveled at the clinginess of the knit and how it seemed to flow with my every motion. I carefully sat down at the vanity as Mom picked up my brush and comb to do my hair. We chatted about my approaching graduation and the new internship that I would be filling this summer. After she brushed it out so that it nicely framed my face and hung to my shoulders, she put some scented hairspray on my hair and then, to my surprise, placed a large white satin bow on my hair in the back. It was the perfect finishing touch to my appearance.
I gathered my purse and my books and headed to the car so that Mom could drive me to school. When Mom dropped me at school, she told me how lovely I looked and how proud she was of me as her daughter. I blushed as I heard her words. She told me to have a good day. I smiled and said that I would see her at home later. As I headed for where we were to gather for the picture, I admired the various styles and fabrics of the white dresses that my classmates wore. Some of the girls wore satin and some wore knits. I also noticed the juniors dressed mostly in their pretty little girl satin party dresses in an array of pastel colors. I joined Rachel, Sarah and Amy as we waited for the picture to be taken.
The style of dresses that my friends wore reflected their personalities. Sarah wore a fitted short sleeve sheath white dress with a neckline that revealed some cleavage. Rachel wore a strapless white dress with a full skirt. She also wore a sheer nylon jacket so that it wouldn't seem to be too daring. Amy looked lovely in a two-piece dress with a fitted top and vee neckline, short sleeves and a full skirt. I smiled at her to show her that I thought she looked very nice. She smiled and nodded back at me.
We were then told to take our places for the picture. Amy and I went to the back corner where we could secretly hold hands while the picture was shot. She asked, in a whisper, if her hair and makeup looked all right. I whispered my assurance back to her. She again smiled and said how nice I looked. It took a few minutes for us to be positioned and for everyone to settle down for the picture. Amy and I were able to hold hands during this time without being detected.
Afterwards, the juniors assigned to each of us picked up our books. It was interesting that each of our juniors was dressed identically in a pink satin party dress with a big bow, starched crinoline, lacy, white ankle socks and Mary Janes. Each girl also had a pink satin bow in her hair. The day passed by uneventfully. As we headed for our lockers at the end of the day, I had to pass the place where Paige tried to get friendly with me last year. It still sent chills through me, as I wasn't eager about having any intimate contact with a young lady who didn't know my secret. I'm glad I was able to fend Paige off. Once at my locker, my junior, Kay, handed me my books. Just before she left, I told her that she looked nice in her party dress and I thanked her for being my "gofer" today. She smiled and said it was a pleasure. She couldn't wait until next year when she was the senior to experience Senior Day. I told her to enjoy everything about her senior year. With that, we said goodbye and headed for our respective homes.
The Senior Prom was here at last. Mom had made an appointment with Karen to have my hair and makeup done. Before the appointment, I called Karen and asked her what color nail polish would go with my prom gown. She assured me that I could go with reds on my nails and in my makeup. I thanked her for her advice and said I would see her Saturday. On Friday night, I carefully did my fingernails and toenails, first removing all of the old polish and then applying the bright red polish that I loved to see on my nails. Even when dry, they still appeared to be wet. I made sure that they were dry before doing anything that might ruin them.
Even though my appointment was at noon, I arrived about thirty minutes early since I thought that the salon would be busy and I was right. Karen saw me come in and said she would be with me shortly. I had just sat down and started to read a magazine when Karen came out and said she was ready to do my hair. I followed her back to the shampoo bowl and carefully smoothed my denim skirt under me as I sat. Karen put a teal shampoo cape over me, leaned me back into the bowl and proceeded to wash and condition my hair. She also applied a crème hair rinse to lighten my hair and make it shinier.
Back at her styling station, Karen went right to work rolling up my hair, since she knew it was for prom night and had the idea of how she was going to do my hair. As she worked we talked about the excitement of the Senior Prom. She reminisced about her prom just a few years ago and described her gown in detail. She also complimented me on the color of my nails and said that they looked nice in red. Karen finished up by tying a pink hairnet over my rollers and having me sit under a dryer. As I felt the warm air on my hair, I looked around the salon and noticed several other young ladies getting their hair done, apparently in preparation for their proms. When I was dry, Karen moved me to the back of the salon where two special chairs were set up for the application of makeup. A girl my own age was getting her makeup done for her prom.
Karen reclined the chair slightly so that she could work more easily. First, she used a skin cleanser and an avocado scrub over my face. Next came the blue makeup mask for the deep cleansing. Whenever I saw a reflection of my face with the mask applied, I always thought I looked like something unearthly. The mask stayed on my face for ten minutes. When Karen remove it, my skin felt so much better. She applied the foundation and powder and then did my eyes. She used blue shades of eyeliner so that my eyes would match my dress. It felt so nice as she applied the mascara to my lashes. With the blush on my cheekbones and several creamy coats of long-lasting red lipstick on my lips, I felt so feminine.
I then moved back to Karen's styling station and watched as she first removed the hairnet and rollers and then started to work on my hair. With skill, she swept my hair off of my neck and piled curls on top of my head. She also took tendrils of my hair and had them stylishly spiraling down to frame my face. Lastly, she applied hairspray to keep it in place. When I saw the final result, I was very pleased. I thanked her and made sure that I gave her a nice tip when I paid the bill.
At home, I was too excited to eat anything, especially since our prom was a dinner and a dance. Mom understood perfectly as she tried to calm me down. I had worn a front button blouse to the beauty salon so that I didn't have to pull it over my head as I was changing into my lovely prom dress. I was surprised to find a lovely light blue set of satin lingerie on my bed. Mom had gotten me lingerie that matched my gown for the prom. Quickly, I put on my new bra, garter belt and panties, making sure to wear a fresh pad. I looked at my reflection and loved seeing it in light blue satin lingerie. I sat and drew my black stockings up my legs. I loved the taut feel of my stockings pulling on my garters as I walked. I then slipped my feet into my four-inch heels and finished dressing. The ankle-length full slip slid down my body. I briefly admired the lace that adorned both bodice and hem. As I unzipped the garment bag to remove my gown, Mom came in to offer some assistance. She helped me into my lovely dress so that I didn't ruin my hair and zipped the back for me. She helped me put on my elbow length satin gloves. I had selected silver hearts to put in my ears, so Mom carefully put them in for me. She then sprayed me with my perfume. Mom hugged me and told me I looked very pretty.
My friends and I had rented a stretch limo for the evening and I was the last one to be picked up. I picked up my matching evening bag, put my sheer evening wrap over my arms and shoulders and walked out to the limo. Rachel was with her steady boyfriend, the one she has been dating for the past two years. I think that they will get engaged as soon as Rachel graduates from Manor Hill. Sarah was with a boy that she has been seeing steadily for the past six months, although they are not going steady, as of yet. I think it has the potential, over time, to develop into a serious relationship. Each of the girls looked lovely in their gowns and fresh hairdos. As I carefully slid into the limo next to Amy, I took note of their gowns. Rachel wore a red, sleeveless full-skirted satin gown that had a neckline that revealed some cleave. She also wore long gloves. Her boyfriend could hardly keep his eyes off of her. Sarah wore a royal blue satin sheath gown with sheer sleeves. Her neckline also revealed some cleavage. Amy looked very pretty in a dark green satin, sleeveless gown with a full skirt. The neckline was straight. Amy work gold jewelry and also wore elbow length gloves. Sarah told me how nice my gown looked. I said that each of my friends looked very pretty also. Amy particularly liked both my gown's light blue color and the alternating blue and white panels in the skirt. She thought that the cowl neckline was darling. I smiled at her in appreciation.
The evening was great as we chatted through dinner. At times, the boys seemed lost, as we would laugh over some private reference. During the dance, Amy and I sat at the table while Rachel and Sarah danced with their boyfriends. When the last dance was announced, Amy asked me if I wanted to dance. Although somewhat hesitant, I smiled and nodded my head. We walked to the edge of the floor, where Amy led and I slipped gracefully into her arms, my head resting on her shoulder. Rachel and Sarah both smiled broadly as they observed us.
On the trip home, Rachel, sensing that there was something special going on between Amy and I, had given the driver instructions that we were to be the last two dropped off. We first dropped Rachel and her boyfriend off and then Sarah and her boyfriend. The driver understood and drove around for some time while Amy and I sat in the back of the darkened limo in a soft embrace, tasting each other's lipstick as we gently kissed and spoke soft words of endearment to each other. When we felt we had to stop before things went too far, we broke our embrace, turned on the inside light and redid our makeup and lipstick. When the driver saw the light come on, she knew that it was all right to head for Amy's house and drop her off. Before Amy exited the limo, we had one last light kiss for the evening.
Going back to my house, I felt like I was on Cloud 9. Amy was in love with me as Jeannie and I was in love with her. We knew we both had several years of school to get through before we could even consider making our arrangement permanent. However, we both agreed that we would continue to take things slowly and see where our relationship went and how it developed. In the meantime, I was going to enjoy Amy's company as much as I could.
Graduation Day had arrived. I had my brief speech as Salutatorian welcoming everyone to the graduation already memorized. It was hard to realize that the days of being a Manor Hill girl were over. There would no longer be the daily wearing of the school uniform, even though I had come to enjoy wearing it. It was also hard to imagine that I probably wouldn't see most of my classmates again, except for possible class reunions.
As I started my preparations to get ready for the evening ceremony, I took a long, soaking hot bath with scented oils. I protected my hair from the humidity with my shower cap on my head. As I sat there in the foamy water, enjoying this decidedly feminine occurrence, I thought back over my Manor Hill years and how it had all come to pass.
When I noticed the water starting to cool off, I got out of the tub and dried off. I then used the scented dusting powder that I had come to love. I put on my white satin garter belt, my white satin panties with the pad in place and my white satin bra with my breast forms and returned to my room to finish getting ready. After putting on my nude stockings, my lacy white knee-length slip and my two-inch white heels, I carefully did my hair and makeup. My white satin graduation dress slid over my lingerie and I was just about to zip it up when Mom came in and did it for me.
I carried my white cap and gown and the blue and gold NHS stole on a hanger to school. We met in the gym where we put on our caps and gowns. The tassel on the cap was in our school colors of light blue and white. Each of us had on a similar style dress with the only differences being in the neckline and the sleeve length. Some had short sleeves, some long sleeves and some 3/4-length sleeves. Sarah, Rachel, Amy and I chatted excitedly about graduation. Suddenly we realized that this might be a form of goodbye for us. We were on the verge of tears as we began hugging each other. Amy brought us back to the reality of the present by reminding us that we still had to give speeches to the gathered attendees.
We walked into the hall and up onto the stage to the applause of our family and friends. As I took my place, I looked out into the sea of faces and found Mom, Sharon and Matt. Mom and Sharon were beaming broadly as they watched me. Once all of us were on the stage, we were seated on a signal from Mrs. W. I gave my speech of welcome without a hitch and returned to my seat. Sarah and Rachel gave their farewells to the school for the class.
It was then time to award the diplomas. We all stood and made our way across the stage when our name was called to receive our diploma from Mrs. W. and from the faculty representative. I was pleased that the representative was our Cheerleading coach, Miss Bliss. Since we graduated alphabetically, I had to wait a few minutes before I heard Mrs. W. say "Jeannie Joy Marin." I gracefully walked across the stage, received my diploma and a hug from Mrs. W. as well as a hug from Miss Bliss, moved my tassel to the other side of my head to show I had graduated and returned to my seat. I smiled as each of my friends received her diploma. My biggest smile was for Amy as she passed by me after receiving her diploma.
All too soon, the ceremonies were over and we were free to be with our families. There were many hugs, kisses and pictures. Mom had the four of us pose for a group shot, then she had Amy and I together holding our diplomas in front of us. Matt took pictures of Mom, Sharon and I and then of just Sharon and I. She told me that she was proud of her little sister and marveled at how far I had come since that first admission to her. I smiled at her and gave her a big hug, thanking her for all of her assistance, as I became Jeannie. After we returned our caps and gowns, less the tassel of course, Amy and I hugged Rachel and Sarah and asked that they keep in touch. They smiled at us knowingly at us and said for us to do likewise. We then met Amy's parents and my family and went out to eat together.
As I looked at Amy in her white satin dress, I wondered if she and I would wear a different type of white satin dress in the future. I was not going to worry about that, however. Instead, I was looking to the summer, my internship and spending so quality time with Amy.
© 2002 by Janis Elizabeth. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.