Copyright 1999, 2002 by Wanda Cunningham. Lainie, Vickie, Rebel and Bashful, thanks for the encouragement. There is no actual sex or transformation in this chapter, but I guess it should be rated R for context. So, nobody under 18 should read this or whatever is the appropriate age in their community. This story deals with transgenderism in children and may be uncomfortable for some readers.

  

Kelly Girl

by Wanda Cunningham

  

Chapter 6 -- Not Very Ladylike

  

"Did I hear my name?" Andie said from the other end of the hall. She strode toward them wearing high heels even this early in the morning. A short skirt with a tank top and her ever present jewelry finished off her costume. Her makeup, as always, looked perfect since it was tattooed on.

"Hi, Andie," said Richard. "We mentioned your name some time ago. Your future sister-in-law was having a bit of an emotional crisis."

"Oh," smiled Andie, "I thought you were just having a shteamy embrace. Sort of welcome her to the family. You look very cute sitting there, Kelly."

Kelly blushed all over. "Andie!" he protested, then he tried to get down but Richard held onto him casually, almost as if not really thinking about it.

"She looks cute all the time, don't you, Skipper?" Richard teased while Kelly squirmed.

"Better let her down," said Andie. "I think she's beginning to like it."

"I'm not!" said Kelly. "Andie! Richard! Let me go, you goof!"

After a little tickling of the victim, Richard let Kelly scoot over to Andie whose laughter had set her jewelry to jingling. Kelly glared at her, still feeling a bit squirmy from the tickling. Goosebumps.

"You never could hold onto your girlfriendsh," Andie teased Richard.

Richard seemed to have a reply for that but about that time, Pete interrupted, opening his door and hurrying down the hallway, "Excuse me," he muttered after dodging around Kelly and nearly overturning Andie.

"Eshcuse you!" she agreed.

"At least, this time he's wearing pants," said Kelly, giggling, in spite of his early embarrassment. Even if I'm not.

Andie laughed, "You're going to have a shivilizing influence on these boys, I can see already. Have you had breakfasht?"

Kelly nodded. This place was a madhouse and everyone thinking he was a girl just made it worse. "I had cereal," he said.

"She washed her dishes and put them away," added Richard, smiling, "she's not a Mann yet."

Kelly blinked, sorting that out then decided that he wanted to stick his tongue out at Richard, like he sometimes did when Barbie teased him; he hesitated for a moment and then gave Richard a full razzberry which caused the older boy to laugh so hard he fell back into the chair.

"Kelly!" Andie mock-scolded. "That's not very ladylike!"

"Ack! Andie, you know I don't care about that!" But Kelly's mood had improved a bit. It was so ridiculous--embarrassing but ridiculous.

Andie laughed, "No, I guess you don't. Um, well, I haven't had breakfast, I'm going to see if I can get Conchita to fry me an egg or something, you go get dressed and meet me downstairs. Barbie will be calling about nine and then we'll go over to your old place to pick up some things. Hop to it, girl." And she patted Kelly on the butt to hurry him along.

He glared at her for the "girl" then decided it was wasted effort and tried to start toward his room. Richard stuck out an arm and stopped him. "Feeling better?" he asked.

"Oh, girls always feel better after a good cry," said Andie, airily. "C'mon, I'll help you find something to wear." She took Kelly's hand and led him into his room, and Richard let him go, still smiling.

Closing the door to the little girl's dream bedroom behind them Andie turned Kelly around, "Give me a hug, honey. I think you need one and I always do."

Kelly hugged her then pulled away, "Andie you seem determined to keep this masquerade going. I mean you were really playing it up out there!"

"Bothersh you, huh? Well, I guess it's just the theater major I never finished. I'm having a blasht!" she grinned.

"Well, I'm not!" said Kelly, annoyed. "And if Barbie is marrying Dr. Mann I can't pretend to be a girl for the rest of my life, can I?" Kelly had meant that to be a statement, turning it into a question caught him by surprise. He felt very odd about that and tried not to think too hard about why.

"Why not?" asked Andie. "You're obviously going to be more successful being a girl than being a boy." She pointed at the mirror as evidence. "You're adorable!"

"But--" Kelly began.

"Why would you want to be a boy? You want to be a politician or a football hero? You're too honesht for one and too little for the other. Tell me, since yeshterday, how many people have mishtaken you for a boy?"

"Uh, none," Kelly admitted.

"In fact, you couldn't convince one person that you were a boy, could you?" Andie insisted.

"Uh, no, but it's my hair, it's too long," he explained. He fingered a blond curl against a shoulder.

"And you couldn't afford a haircut, right? You've needed a haircut since Christmas last year but you didn't get one. A five dollar haircut for boys in my shop and you know I would have done it for free if you had asked? How many times did you get beat up, called a sissy or a queer in school last year, was it jusht because of your hair?"

He shook his head miserably. Life can be cruel for studious small boys who don't like sports.

She went on, not unkindly. "What are your favorite games at school, hopscotch, jacks, tetherball, jumprope, hmm? I've seen your toys, you don't have a football or baseball or toy gun but you do have a set of jacksh and a jumprope. Barbie has several dolls and even a doll house, you ever play with them?"

"Uh," stammered Kelly. Barbie would never have allowed him to have a toy gun, even if he had wanted one. And the dolls, well, Barbie still played with them, too, he thought defensively.

"Face it Kelly Girl, you *walk* like a girl, you *talk* like a girl, you *look* like a girl and you musht like it or you would have done something about it. Well, now you have, you've convinced everyone that you *are* a girl."

"I never said I wanted to be a girl, I never told anyone I was a girl," Kelly objected, close to tears, again.

"Did you get angry and cuss yeshterday when people thought you were a girl? Did you try really hard to convince them you were a boy? Did you pull down your pants and show them?" Andie smiled, trying to take the sting out of things.

Kelly frowned, almost a pout. "No, no, I didn't." Intellectually he knew that his male peers would have done anything not to be thought of as a girl. But yesterday's gender confusion had seemed so inescapable at the time.

Andie appeared to be enjoying this. "How often do you think of an excuse to sit down when you pee? And you always sit down with your knees together, you know? You giggle and simper and pout, just like Barbie. She and I have had some long conversations about you, did you know that? She thought you would outgrow it, but I told her I thought you were gender dysphoric, unhappy with being a boy. Was I wrong?"

Kelly shook his head, eyes filling with quiet tears. Well, was he happy being a boy? He wasn't sure but he knew he didn't really want to be a boy the way other males his age were boys. Couldn't there be an alternative besides wearing baby doll pajamas in a bedroom out of an Olsen Twins movie?

Andie took his chin gently holding his face up so he had to look at her. "Do you want to be a boy, Kelly? Or would you rather be a girl, like Barbie?" she asked.

"I don't know what I want," Kelly admitted, then realized what he had said and hurried to amplify, "I hate getting beat up, I don't like baseball or football or guns. I try not to be such a sissy but--" he broke off, his lip beginning to tremble.

"It's jusht the way you are, Kelly." Andie knelt beside him and put her arms around him. "Look, hon, as a boy you're a short, shkinny, sissified little queer." He jerked at the word. "As a girl you can be a petite, slender, ladylike young woman. Do you think Richard would like you if you were a boy? Would he have held you when you cried? Or would he have laughed at you?" She took his glasses off and laid them on the bed, "You're getting these all shteamy."

"He'd have laughed," Kelly said with a hiccough. He felt sure of it, Richard would have sneered at him if as a boy he had been as upset as he had been this morning.

"He wouldn't like you as a boy, would he? He'd think you were a sissy, he might even be mean to you, hmm? Why would you want to be a boy?"

"I don't know," Kelly said miserably. I was born a boy, I am a boy, he thought, I didn't think there were any options.

"Look, I'll tell you what, if you want we'll go over to your old place and get the most masculine clothes you've got and you can pretend to be a boy all day. See if you can fool anybody. I'll give you a buzz cut first if you like." She grinned.

Kelly hiccoughed again. He shook his head. That sounded as scary as any of his other options. But why? Just the embarrassment of admitting to Richard and Pete that he was not a girl? Or the inevitable teasing he would endure because of it? Kelly knew the unthinking cruelty of the young first hand, he would almost rather die than let the Mann boys find out he wasn't a girl. But what would that mean if Barbie did marry Dr. Mann?

"Go get a cup of water," Andie suggested. "Wash your face, decide what you want to wear and meet me downshtairs, Barbie's going to call in half-an-hour. Okay? I'm going to get a cup of coffee and a roll."

Kelly stopped in the bathroom door, "Has Barbie told Harold I'm really a boy, that I'm her son?"

"I don't know if it came up," she said, as if it weren't that important. "But he's very understanding, remember he does a half dozen or so sex changes a month down in Tijuana. If you tell him, why, he could fix things for you, jusht like fixing Barbie's bushtline." She didn't seem to notice the effect this suggestion had on Kelly. The boy in the babydoll pajamas vibrated like a piano string after the hammer has come down. Andie went on, "He's seen lots of people like you, many of whom are very unhappy; way, way more desperate than you've been feeling. He really did think you were a girl yeshterday, by the way, and it had something to do with his proposing to Barbie."

"It did? How?" Kelly could think of no way such a delusion would affect Dr. Mann's decision to propose. One blow after another, he felt dizzy, off-balance, almost shattered. He smoothed the pajama bottom over his right thigh, the cloth felt like cotton or rayon, smooth and cool.

"The idea of having an inshtant daughter appealed to him," Andie explained. He's never completely forgiven me for moving out, you know. And Barbie agreed to try to get pregnant right away so that clenched it."

Kelly struggled not to sound like he was whining, "I don't understand why he did that. They only met on Thursday. Why would he propose, why would she accept?" Kelly would rather worry this problem than the other one. Nervously, he touched the collar of the pajamas, the top button was shaped like a little heart.

"Don't you believe in love at first sight?"

He shook his head, blond hair swinging.

Andie laughed, "Get changed, I'll see you downshtairs, take a right at the bottom of the circular shtairway." She disappeared into the hallway.

Kelly watched her go and then reached for the big pink teddy bear to get another surrogate hug.

 

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Copyright 1999, 2002 by Wanda Cunningham

More of Kelly Girl is archived at http://bigcloset.ateros.com

  

  

  

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