Never Tease Girls If You're Outnumbered
I've recently noticed in some magazines that some guys have a fantasy about being dressed up as a girl by schoolgirls and being teased. I couldn't help but smile wryly, because that's exactly what happened to me some years ago, and I can assure you that the reality is no fantasy, just a horrible nightmare. It was in 1955, when my twin sister Jane and I were 15, and living in a town on the Sussex coast. I went to school locally, and Jane's school was 5 miles inland at the foot of the South Downs, so she used to get the bus to school every day.
The trouble began late one afternoon in October, when Jane and her schoolmates Diana, Hilary and Susan, together with their boyfriends and myself, were in a coffee bar on the sea front. The girls were still in their school uniform, which I knew they absolutely detested wearing. I'm afraid that I sometimes have too much of a sense of humour for my own good, and this was one of those occasions. We boys started playfully teasing the girls about the way they were dressed, but I knew I'd gone beyond a joke when I said loudly 'But I think it's a lovely uniform for four cute 10 year old little schoolgirls!' In front of their boyfriends the girls obviously found this particularly embarrassing, and I knew I'd gone too far when Jane snapped and said 'Oh shut up Michael, we've just about had enough of you. One of these days you're going to regret your stupid comments.' That put an end to the conversation, and I forgot all about it. Unfortunately the girls didn't, as I was about to find out to my cost.
One Thursday afternoon a couple of weeks later, I was at home with Mum. I'd broken up for the half term holidays a week before Jane, so she was at school that day. It was then that I was about to find out just how ingenious my sister was at manipulating events to suit her. The phone rang and Mum answered it. When she'd put the phone down she said 'That was Jane. Apparently she left her bag on her bed this morning, and wants me to drop it off at school for her on my way up to Horsham for that meeting. I said I wouldn't have time to stop, so she suggested that I drop you off with it to give her, and you two can come home on the bus together. You're not doing anything else are you?'
'No, that's OK. How will I find her?'
'Oh, she said she'll be in front of the old wooden sports pavilion at 3 o'clock. You've been there before on sports days haven't you?'
'All right then.' Looking at her watch, Mum said 'Heck it's 2.30 already, we'd better get going. Pop up and get her bag and I'll get the car started.'
I dashed upstairs to Jane's room, grabbed her bag, and clumped downstairs again. Mum picked up her briefcase, and we were soon zooming up the A24 towards the village near Jane's school. We drove up the lane to the school gates, and Mum dropped me off, Jane's bag in hand.
I'd been there on several occasions, so I made my way up the driveway, and went round to the back of the school buildings and out onto the sports field where there were scores of girls playing games. I walked past the smart new sports pavilion, and across to its old, wooden predecessor. Jane was standing in front of it with Hilary, Susan and Diana, plus several of her friends, and she gave me a wave as she spotted me. I reached her and said 'Here you are, here's the bag.'
She looked at me, smiled, and said 'Thank you so much dear brother, come inside and I'll get changed.' We went inside, and I should have smelt a rat as half a dozen of her friends followed us into the hut. Jane went into a cubicle at one end, and a few minutes later emerged dressed in her jeans and jacket, and carrying her school uniform over her arm. She walked across to a row of hooks, and hung it up.
She turned to face me, gave an ominously malicious grin, and said 'Now Michael, do you remember a couple of weeks ago, when we were in that coffee bar, and you said…let me see, what was it? Oh yes, you said that our school uniforms made us look like cute little 10 year olds?'
'Well they do!' I laughed unwisely.
'Yes, quite. Well I also said that we've had enough of your wisecracks, so this time you're going to pay for it.'
By the malicious tone of her voice I was suddenly worried. Suddenly I wasn't laughing any more. My face fell when she continued.
'Right then. Since you think that we look so cute, let's see how cute you look when you're wearing it. All right girls, let's get his clothes off!' Now I realised why the other girls were there. Against six tall, strong lacrosse players with two more girls to help, I didn't stand a chance. In a moment they grabbed me, dumped me down onto an exercise mat, and despite my futile struggles, had soon stripped off all my clothes. My humiliation was about to begin.
Smiling wickedly, Jane picked up her maroon knickers, and in no time the girls had forced them over my feet and up my legs. Next came her white blouse, and she quickly tied her maroon and silver tie on round my neck. The girls dragged me to my feet and Jane said. 'Now, if you cooperate, the girls will let you go. Otherwise we'll finish dressing you by force. Which is it to be?' I knew when I was beaten, so I looked at her and said 'All right, you win. What next?' At a signal from Jane, the girls released me.
'Next? The one item that we really hate wearing' said my sister, 'Our regulation school gym tunic.' She picked it up and held it with the back opening towards me. 'In you get' she said. I stepped into the grey tunic and she pulled it up my body before putting my arms through the armholes. Then she stood behind me and fastened the buttons running up the back. Turning me around, she did up the buckle belt and secured the two buttons which held the end of the belt in place. Pulling down the hem of the tunic so that the pleated skirt hung neatly, Jane said 'Sit down.' I sat on a chair, and she pulled her white ankle socks onto my feet and turned them down neatly at the ankle. On top of these came her brown T bar strap shoes, which she fastened on securely with the buckles at the side. Definitely a very junior style, and designed not to come off. Now I knew why she'd chosen to wear such childish shoes that morning.
'Now' said Jane, 'Time to do something about your hair. I'm so glad it's nice and long at the moment.' She reached into her bag, and I groaned as she drew out some white hair ribbon and a brush. 'Now sit still and keep your head straight' she said. After combing my hair down the centre, Jane picked up an elastic band, and pulling my hair on one side into a bunch, she wound it tightly around my hair. She did the same on the other side of my head, so that I now had two bunches of hair sticking up conspicuously. Then, taking a length of white hair ribbon, she wound it firmly around one bunch of hair, tied it tightly in position in a non-slip bow, and pulled it down the bunch of hair closer to my head. 'Ow!' I said 'That hurt, it's too tight!'
'Nonsense' said Hilary, grinning slightly, 'That's how it has to be done. Don't worry, you'll get used to it.' Jane repeated the process with the other bunch of hair, and finished off the effect by clipping two pink plastic hair slides into my hair to secure the ribbons. As a final touch, she combed my hair forward in a fringe, and taking a pair of scissors, cut it across the front in a neat, even line.
After making a few adjustments to make sure that the bows were even in length, she straightened them so that they were at the same angle to my head. Looking at me she grinned and said 'Perfect, now stand up.' As I stood up, she held up her maroon school blazer and I put my arms into the sleeves. She pulled it on over my shoulders and pulled the sleeves of my blouse down so that they came level with the cuffs of the blazer. Then she stood back to admire her handiwork and said 'There we are, one little girl, ready for school.' A murmur of giggles went up from the other girls, and rolling up my boy's clothes and putting them in her bag, she continued.
'Now my little sister, I think it's time to go home, don't you?'
'Like this!' I exclaimed, 'No way!'
'Well you don't think we're going to keep all the fun to ourselves do you?' she chuckled, 'Oh no, your coming into town with us. Grab him girls.' Before I could protest any further, strong arms grabbed me and I was dragged out through the door and into the open.
Jane and her friends had certainly planned their revenge well. There I was, five miles from home, dressed in the very school uniform I had ridiculed them for wearing at the coffee bar. I realised that I would now have no alternative but to go home dressed like this, no doubt accompanied by the mirth of dozens of schoolgirls. I almost cried with humiliation. The girls wasted no time. 'Come on' said Hilary, 'Let's get him down to the bus stop.' Realising I had no alternative, I set off with them, blushing crimson with humiliation. The girls took me down the front drive of the school, through the main gate, and we started walking down the lane to the bus stop in the village.
I will leave the teasing comments of the other girls to your imagination, and by the time we reached the bus stop, I was surrounded by about two dozen of them, laughing and jeering. I stood there with nowhere to go, praying that the bus would arrive soon, so that I could get home and out of this purgatory as soon as possible. But my sister and her friends had other plans. They were determined to prolong my humiliation as long as possible.
The bus finally drew up, and as I surged forward with the others to get on, I was grabbed and held back by Jane and Susan. 'Oh no you don't' grinned Jane, 'We've got something else in mind for you. A nice long leisurely walk home. Come on.' I almost wailed with disappointment as the bus pulled away, and the girls started walking with me along the pavement on the two hour walk homewards.
As we approached the edge of town, more and more schoolchildren from other schools came from various directions, and the girls took great pleasure in drawing me to their attention. Somehow the teasing comments of the girls was worse than the derision of the boys, but my biggest worry was being seen by any boys from my school. Being on holiday, I hoped that that eventuality could be avoided.
After about an hour and a half, we came to Hilary and Susan's house (they were sisters). We went in, and when their mother saw me she shrieked with laughter. Once the girls had explained why I was dressed like this she simply said 'Well it serves you right Michael. That'll teach you to ridicule the girls, won't it?' I blushed and said nothing.
Hilary and Susan dashed upstairs and soon reappeared dressed in slacks and blouses. 'Right' said Susan, 'Let's be off.'
'Where are we going?' I said. 'We're going for a coffee little sister' grinned Jane, 'Just where we were when you so unwisely made fun of us. And guess what, the boys will be there too. They said they can't wait to see you!'
'Oh no, please no!' I said weakly, but I knew it was hopeless.
Hilary opened the front door to be greeted with a downpour of rain outside. 'Oh rats' she said, 'It's pouring.' She looked at me for a moment, and then a wicked smile crossed her face. 'Oh well, good. That means that you'd better wear my school mackintosh. You'll really look cute in that.' She looked at me and took down her school mackintosh from a coat hook. 'Here we are' she said gleefully. 'Now you can see what it's like to wear our regulation school mackintosh. We have to wear them every time it rains of course, but we hate them because they make us look so utterly childish. So, on this occasion it's your turn.'
The girls chuckled as she held it up for me to look at. I was very familiar with it, as I'd seen Jane wearing hers dozens of times. It was a typical, regulation style single breasted girl's school mackintosh. Made of unlined light grey rubberised cotton, it was fitted with a buckle belt supported by two keepers attached to the mac, one on either side of the waist. From the shoulders hung an attached hood with a square top, a common style on girl's school raincoat hoods. The hood had a maroon lining, and tie tapes to secure it under the chin. Hilary held her mackintosh up for me to put on, and I obediently put my arms into the sleeves. Standing in front of me, she fastened the buttons up to my neck. Then she passed the belt through the buckle, pulled it tight around my waist, and did up the securing buttonhole at the end of the belt.
Looking at the downpour outside, Hilary said, 'We'd better put up your hood I think, we don't want to get those sweet little hair ribbons wet, do we?' She pulled the mackintosh hood up over my head, and pulling the tapes tight, she fastened them under my chin in a bow before giving the hood a final tug forward around my face. 'There' she grinned, 'That'll keep you snug. Don't you look sweet peeping out from under your hood like that? The very picture of a little schoolgirl. Now let's go.' Susan and Hilary put on their jackets, and one of the girls picked up three umbrellas and gave one each to the others before they propelled my unwilling body out into the rain-soaked street.
As we walked along, I was only too well aware of how like a schoolgirl I now looked, but felt slightly comforted by the hood covering my face from view. Nevertheless, the walk down through the town to the sea front was awful, as the heavy rain poured onto my mackintosh and ran down onto my wet legs and feet.
Eventually we reached the coffee bar and went in. My heart sank as I saw the three boys sitting in a corner, waiting for us. We went over to them, and Jane said 'Hi guys, we made it.' Turning to me, she grinned and said 'And now I'd like you to meet my little sister.' She untied the bow under my chin and threw back my hood. Then she unfastened my mackintosh, removed it, and put it over the back of a chair. When the boys saw what I was wearing they burst into peals of laughter. 'Oh that's brilliant!' said one, 'What a sweet little schoolgirl!'
'Exactly' said Jane triumphantly, sitting me down at the table. 'What did he call us? Cute little 10 year old schoolgirls? Well whose the little schoolgirl now? The lovely thing is that now, we're all wearing trousers, and the only one wearing her nice school uniform that Michael said was so lovely, is Michael! We've now turned the tables perfectly I think.'
'We sure have' giggled Hilary, 'What an exquisitely fitting punishment.' I have to admit that it certainly was.
We stayed there for about an hour before they decided that they were off to a disco. As we stood up to go, Jane looked at me and smiled as she picked up my mackintosh and held it up for me to put on. 'I'm afraid they don't let little schoolgirls into discos' she grinned, as she buttoned me into it, put up my hood and tied it on securely in a neat bow under my chin. 'Well what am I supposed to do?' I said. 'Walk home of course' laughed Jane, 'All by yourself through the town. Enjoy yourself, won't you?' They paid the bill, took me outside, and then left me there to walk home through the streets on my own, a lonely looking little schoolgirl in the pouring rain. At least those people who saw me didn't even look at me twice. To them I was a schoolgirl. I didn't know whether to be pleased or not.
There was one more disappointment to come. When I reached home I realised that I didn't have a front door key, and stood there miserably in the rain for a while. Then I decided to pluck up courage and knock on our neighbour's front door. Mrs. Johnson opened it, and when she saw me she burst out laughing before she said 'Come in Michael, why on earth are you dressed like Jane?'
I went in and she unfastened my hood and removed my wet mackintosh. Then she hung it up before taking me into the lounge. Unfortunately her 10 year old daughter Emily was in there with one of her friends, and when they saw me the two girls fell about with a fit of the giggles. I spent the next couple of hours sitting on the sofa, patiently enduring the little girls untying and retying my hair ribbons while I tried to watch TV.
At last I heard Mum's car driving up our driveway, so I got up to go. Mrs. Johnson took down my mackintosh and buttoned me into it before I dashed through the rain round to my front door. Mum let me in, and when she saw me she chuckled and said 'Well, it seems that I have two daughters! What's this all about Michael?'
I spent some time explaining what had happened, and Mum just grinned. 'Well' she said, as she removed my hair ribbons, 'I imagine you'll be a bit more careful about teasing your sister in future, won't you. Well let it be a lesson to you. Now go upstairs and change. Then you can come downstairs and we'll have some tea. I can't wait to hear how Jane managed to arrange things so cleverly.' I went upstairs, and was glad to get into something somewhat more suitable.
After that I never teased Jane again, and we became the best of friends. But she still took the opportunity of ostentatiously laying out the photos of me as a schoolgirl on the table whenever she wanted to pull me into line. Blackmail? Almost.
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