A New Season Approaches

by Ann O’Nonymous

 

Part Three

Jackie sat in deep thought, and exclaimed, "How about a shopping trip? Three guys, each given a very explicit shopping list, would go to a mall or specialty shop and purchase said items. We could include tampons, lacey panties, teddies, rumba panties and other lovely things. The guys could be measured and the items would all be in their size. Imagine trying to explain that coincidence!"

Ann added: "I’m wondering if Victoria’s Secrets has extra, extra large in stock. Does Lane Bryant’s have retail outlets?"

Helen entered in with, "I can just see them wandering around the store asking sales associates, if that’s the term they use, ‘Do you have this slip in 3X?’ or even, ‘Do I take an 8 or a 9 in panty girdle?’ "

"How about a cosmetics area in some store? Just picture them looking for a lipstick that would go with a certain dress," was Sandra’s contribution.

"I would like to try it. Thanks Jackie, now this sounds like a winner! If they don’t like that, we could even attempt it with a regular shopping list in a grocery store. Possibly something like fifty items, including taupe control-top pantyhose."

"You’re welcome. Here’s another thought! I’m thinking of calling it ‘The Wax Museum.’ A museum curator, possibly a female, grabs unsuspecting single males; injects them with some kind of solution that paralyzes them. Then she dresses them in period clothes, like a hoop skirt and pantaloons for the Civil War era, and adds each victim to an exhibit area. An investigator is closing in on her, and, maybe at the end of the first season, the investigator also winds up as one of the exhibits – Marie Antoinette with a big head of hair. Just think of the possibilities: a WWI nurse, a WAC, a twenties flapper, or even a corseted woman of the Victorian era."

"Hey, great. How about a WWII housewife trying to cope with rationing, a teenager with a poodle skirt and pettis, various female military service uniforms, lovely frilly ball gowns and others. Or a suffragette chained to a fence at a state capitol."

"Ah, yes," mused Ann, "it does leave a lot of room open. I can picture our curator now, dressing a recalcitrant victim in a copy of a wedding dress of one of our First Ladies. Or, even in one of those extremely ornate gowns of the French aristocracy."

"Heh, heh," Helen chuckled, "maybe a torture gallery scene could be included! A male dressed as an aristocratic woman is put in a cage, or one of those scold’s bridles. Another is trussed up and gagged, waiting his turn to be put into an Iron Maiden, with rubber spikes of course. A pilgrim lady locked in stocks or a ducking stool would be a nice exhibit on early colonial life."

"Why Helen!" Ann admonished, "What has gotten into you? You sound positively devilish. We could also include a Children’s area, with Cinderella, Snow White, and the ever popular Alice in Wonderland."

"Speaking of devilish," responded Vikki, "why not use that idea in a quiz show?"

"What do you mean, Vikki? We can’t actually torture people on TV, although there are some I‘d like to."

"No," she replied, "We use the background as a scene. There are male and female contestants, and the female is asked a question. If she’s correct they get a prize. If wrong, well the guy goes back, gets changed, depending on costumes available, and goes into a cage, or stocks, or scolds thingie. Or, we could play it sort of like that game hangman, with various undergarments substituted for parts of the body."

"I can see it now: I’ll take panty girdle for $100, Alec."

"Yeah, and a disclaimer at the start: please, mistresses, don’t try this at home! We’ll probably start a new trend – a disclaimer that isn’t," Jackie retorted.

"I think we’re stuck," mused Ann, "we can’t have full nights of just quiz shows. We’ll need something like, oh I don’t know, sports or bowling."

"Ah, yes, bowling for bras," Jackie retorted. "A sitcom should fill in, also a drama might suffice."

Helen interjected: "Well, there are animal shows, re-enactments, news, but still the people want involvement. High-rated shows draw the people into them by having the actors seem to be just like them. So, if we get them involved in the show, it should bring them back week after week, just to see what we next do to our ‘victims,’ to see how far we can go."

"Like waiting for the guy to jump off the building," added Vikki.

"Say, there’s an idea. Why not!" exclaimed Sandra. "We dress an actor in drag, as they like to call it, follow him through a mall, small town or store with a hidden camera and watch people’s actions and reactions. Will he or won’t he pass, and who will be the first to uncover his disguise? We could use a small van, try large and small towns, and use teasers as, ‘Is he in your town?’ or something on that order."

"And we could feature those that caught him in TV interviews as their fifteen minutes of fame," Ann responded.

"Let’s throw this onion in the vegetable cart and see if Ralph cries."

"Jackie, Ralph is a carnivore."

"Wait," Vikki cried, "why not go all out. Here’s my idea: We pick out two people from the audience, and then we take the man back to a dressing room and transform him into a female. He would then be moved into an apartment, in a different state and city, and given a female job. Each day, at a certain time, the other person would try to reach him, using a list of numbers given to her. She could be given seven numbers. As long as she doesn’t reach him, he would continue the work. How’s that."

"Hmmm, I need to think about that," Ann replied. "There could be a nice prize offered."

"Yeah, he could stop wearing heels! Wouldn’t that be enough," added Jackie.

"I’ll give it a try. Ladies, thank you for your Saturday, and I will write up these proposals and push them on the higher-ups! From there, we’ll see how they take it, and I’ll start asking for scripts in a week, and hope to start scenery building in, let’s say, approximately two months."

Helen added: "Oh such fools these unfortunate males be, when first they try to deceive such as we!"

Finis—Annie O

 

 

 

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© 2002 by Ann O'Nonymous. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.