Author's Foreword and Dedication: Although written before I had met and grew to love Rebecca Anne Stewart; affectionately called Becky by all those who knew her in the chatroom. The resemblance between her and the character Becky Taylor was and is uncanny. So I will dedicate this story to her, my beloved friend and playmate, Becky Stewart. You are still very loved and very much missed…

  

ONE LAST SHOT

by Maggie O'Malley

  

PART FOUR

Late Wednesday afternoon, Becky took a long shower. She hoped the hot pulsating water would relieve the soreness in her muscles, and relax her troubled mind. After spending ten minutes under the scalding spray, Becky stepped from the shower and grabbed two towels. Wrapping one around her body, the other gently around her hair, she sat on the bed rubbing moisturizer into her legs.

The muscle pain had eased off a bit, but her head was pounding from the events of last night. In her thoughts she berated herself continually, not only for the events of last night, but for all the mistakes she had made along the way. Aloud, she lectured her deplorable self... "How could you have been so stupid as to even think about coming back here after seventeen years? Why did you come back anyway? For Cassie's sake? Your sake? Do you really think after all this time, all the changes, and all the pain you've put her through that she's going to forgive you and accept you? You've should have told her in junior high, or high school, or hell even college, but you didn't. You came up with a boatload of reasons for not doing it to, didn't you? Well that boatload, is a load of bullshit. Truth is you were afraid. You were so afraid of the shame and rejection that you ran off to New York and California rather than face her. You spent seventeen years finding yourself. You think you could have found a little courage along the way. All you had to do last night was just say, "Hi Cassie! You want to go shoot some hoops at your place and get a pizza from Li'l Italy's?" She would have known it was you. Now maybe she would have given you a big hug, or maybe she would have given you a left hook, but at least right now it would be over. I can't understand how anyone who has had all those operations, been stuck with about million electrolysis needles, and has walked through Central Park late at night can be afraid of a 5'8" freckle-faced pony tail."

Shaking her head, she then smiled to herself, you know, it was kind of nice that she didn't recognize me. I mean...she talked to me as if I was a real woman, a genetic woman. That sure was nice. It was everything I hoped it would be. I wonder when she finds out who I used to be, if she will ever be able to think of me as a woman again. Mandy thought I was the genuine article. I really like that little girl. She is so like her mother at that age. I wonder if I will ever get the chance to shoot with her again. I just wish I had the time to watch her grow up.

Glancing up at the clock and then over at her row of pill bottles, she let out a heavy sigh, and thought, There's never enough time, so I can't waste anymore. I'll tell her tonight, and what happens, happens.

This will get some attention, she told herself as she put on the uniform she had selected for the game. It was a replica Tennessee Lady Volunteer's... silk jersey and matching shorts. Becky stepped in front of the mirror, grabbed a blue cloth hair tie, and put her hair up in a ponytail. Becky smiled at her reflection. Whenever she put her hair up in a ponytail, she always thought of Cassie and her trademark hairstyle. She had chose a light blue hair tie to coordinate with the orange and light blue from her jersey, and to honor her friend, as light blue had always been her favorite color.

A thought about the light blue Suburban Cassie was driving last night, and Becky smiled as she realized some things never change. Putting on light make-up and spraying on just a hint of Channels #5, she slipped into a grey sweat suit, grabbed her sports bag and headed for the community center.

Pausing momentarily, Becky surveyed the parking lot outside the community center for Cassie's Suburban, but didn't find it. She checked her watch and saw she had made it there by 6:15. She was a little early, but she wanted to catch Cassie as soon as she hit the doors. She wasn't going to have much time, but she didn't need much to explain whom she was.

The rest of the story could wait until later if she still wanted to hear it. Cassie walked down the steps, and on to the carpeted basketball court. About 15 or 20 women were talking and shooting on the four courts that comprised the gym floor. Several women eyed the tall stranger as she walked in, obviously sizing her up for competition. Becky recognized one woman there. Her name was Lynn, but she had never known her that well before, and Becky was sure she wouldn't recognize her now.

With lithe grace and assured feminine deportment, Becky moved to a bench beneath one basket, sat down and slipped off her running shoes. She pulled off her sweats, laced up her high tops and began stretching out her legs. Keeping one eye on the front door, she breathed in the atmosphere. It was the first organized basketball she'd played since high school, but more importantly, it was the first time she had ever played with women, as a woman.

This had been her dream for thirty years, and had lived it vicariously through Cassie, but now she was just minutes away from living it. Her stomach churned, and her palms sweated like she was playing for the state championship. To most of these women, the league meant a break from the husband and kids. It was a chance to socialize with some friends, burn off a few calories, and shoot some hoops for fun. To Becky, it represented her debut into a world where her heart and soul had dreamed of being, but her body had been denied acceptance.

Suddenly, a thought came to her. I'm getting all psyched up to play a basketball game, and I've forgotten the real reason I'm here. I've still got to tell Cassie that her brand new center is actually her very old friend. Piece of cake, right? After I tell her, she can lead me around and introduce me to all the girls. I can hear her now. "Hey everybody, meet my best friend Becky. She used to be the girl with something extra, but she had it removed two years ago!" This was really a dumb idea coming in here. I knew how I would react once I saw the basketball court. Maybe I should just grab my stuff and wait out in the lot for her. Becky was getting ready to grab her bag when she heard her name being called.

Turning, she was quick to see two women smiling and walking toward her. Becky didn't recognize either of them, but it was obvious they knew her. The taller of the two women, a shorthaired brunette, was the first to speak. "Hi! I'm Debbie. You're Becky aren't you? Cassie's friend?"

"Yeah, that's me I guess. I was outside shooting with her daughter yesterday, and before I knew it, she had me signed up to play," Becky answered sheepishly.

The second woman stepped forward. She was maybe 5'2, with long red hair pulled back in a thick brush of a ponytail. "Hi! I'm Katie, and that's Cassie for you. She's always bringing home strays."

All three women laughed, and then Debbie spoke once again. "Cassie called me last night and told me to watch out for you. She said you were a tall, slender blonde named Becky. Everybody here pretty much knows everybody else, so it wasn't too hard to spot a new face."

"I'm really glad you're playing. It's going to be so nice to have a big girl in the middle for once. I'm really getting tired of being a 5'2 center," Katie smiled.

Laughter rained again. Debbie finished the joke. "Sad thing about it is, she's not kidding!" The girls giggled once more.

"I'm really glad to get the chance to play with you guys, but honestly, I'm not all that good, and it's been a long time since I've played serious basketball." Becky smiled.

Katie raised her hand about a foot over her head and smiled at her new teammate.

"Girl, you're six foot tall. It doesn't matter if you're good. Just stand there and block the rim! As far as "serious basketball" is concerned, both Debbie and I are 40, so we gave up serious basketball ten years ago. This is all just fun and exercise. It has to be. It's all we got left. So, relax and just have a good time."

They were warm, funny and had gone out of their way to make her feel comfortable. Becky really liked her two new friends. She glanced over her shoulder at the front doors, and then up at the wall clock. It said 6:45, and she still hadn't seen Cassie. She started warming up with the girls and when she passed a ball to Debbie she asked her if Cassie was coming tonight.

Laughter bubbled as Debbie said, "She's never here on time. That's one reason why she's been trying to find a fourth player. We're always starting five or ten minutes late because her dingy butt isn't here yet. Usually she comes blowing in, takes a warm-up jumper and then starts playing. I don't know how she does it."

The girls continued to shoot, and as seven o'clock rolled around, it was evident that Cassie was going to be her usual late self.

Coming up to Becky, Katie said, "Well rookie, looks like your going to get your first start. Just get all the rebounds, block every shot, and dunk it every time you get the ball. Debbie and I will take care of all the rest."

Obviously, she wasn't going to get the chance to speak with Cassie before the game. Becky shook her head and smiled. She'd just have to keep up appearances until after the game, and then she'd tell her. At least this way, they would get to play one game together no matter what.

The game started and Cassie had yet to show. Both teams missed shots on their first two possessions. Becky was so nervous she fumbled a perfect entry pass from Katie, and then tossed up an air ball on her first shot. She dropped her head. Katie came by and smiled, "Hey big girl, shake it off. Don't make me get a ladder and smack you!" Becky couldn't help but smile at her sprite-sized friend with the giant sense of humor.

Three minutes into the game, Cassie came busting through the door with Devon and Mandy in tow. She hollered across the gym, "Sorry guys!" One of the women on the bench shouted, "The Queen has entered the building!" and laughter erupted all over the court. Cassie shot an evil grin at the perpetrator, and kept hustling to the court where her team was playing. Cassie saw Becky and waved. "Hey girl, glad you could make it!"

Waving back Becky then signaled to Cassie to see if she wanted her to check out, so that Cassie could check in. Cassie waved her off. "No, you stay in. I'll come in for you at the fifteen-minute mark. I really need to stretch out these old muscles.

Leaning back, Cassie watched the game unfold. Her new friend had finally settled down from her opening jitters and was making her presence known. Her blonde ponytail was bobbing up and down all over the court. In just the few minutes that Cassie had been watching, Becky had grabbed several rebounds, blocked a shot, and made two sweet passes. She was hustling on defense and diving for every loose ball. Cassie chuckled to herself. She hadn't seen this kind of intensity since her college days.

Memories of college brought back that lingering feeling of recognition she'd had concerning Becky. She had thought about it off and on all day, but she just couldn't put it together. Watching her play seemed to stir something in her mind. She was even more convinced she'd played against her somewhere, but where? The next two trips down the court she focused solely on Becky. She studied both her body and her game, hoping to find a clue. There was something definitely familiar about both, but she still couldn't place her.

There was something about her blue eyes that was very familiar, but not familiar enough to place a face with. Becky's hustling style of play reminded her of a number of players she had played both with and against, but she wasn't any of those she could remember. As the fifteen-minute mark neared, Cassie decided to quit playing Nancy Drew and leave the mystery alone.

Arthritis had set in and robbed the former star of much of the quickness that had made her a star in the college and pro game. Cassie rubbed her aching hip. She could still light up a scoreboard on a good night, but her days of dominating a game from start to finish were over.

The fifteen-minute mark came and Cassie replaced Becky at the first dead ball. The strawberry blonde reached up and gave the winded Becky a high five for her spirited play. She smiled, "Way to go girl! Nice hustle!"

Becky was too winded to do more than smile and wave. She sat on the bench, sucking gulps of air. She was still in pretty good running shape, but definitely not playing shape. She glanced up at the scoreboard and was pleased to see her team was up by four against a younger and very talented opponent.

Focused on Cassie, Becky realized it was good to see her best friend on the court again. Cassie, Katie, and Debbie gave up a lot of inches and strength to the opposition, but compensated with heart, hustle, and court savvy from their years of basketball experience. Debbie set a screen for Cassie, and Katie threaded a perfect pass to her. Cassie pump-faked, slipped her defender and drilled an eighteen-footer. Her great green eyes sparkled and she flashed her smile at Katie, acknowledging the perfect pass.

Coming up with a loose ball, Debbie fired it ahead to Cassie. She was one on one with her defender. Becky's face filled with excitement, as she knew what was coming. She was going to go vintage "Pistol" on the girl. True to classic form, Cassie stutter-stepped, leaned her shoulder right, and spun back left. Her defender was powerless to do little more than watch as Cassie fading left, arched a short jumper, which kissed the backboard and fell in.

Jumping up to cheer, Becky gasped as Cassie came down awkward from the shot. Her left leg gave and she hit the "carpet" hard. Katie, Debbie, and the defender were immediately there to help her up. Cassie smiled and signaled she was fine, but the smile was more of a wince from the pain. The game continued but Cassie was limping noticeably, and settling for long jumpers instead of challenging the defense.

Checking in at the ten-minute mark for Debbie with her team down by seven, Becky had her second wind and resumed her spirited play. She tried to get every rebound, and contest every shot. Cassie smiled at her friend's youthful enthusiasm. Becky's eyes held the same passion and excitement that was once in Cassie's own eyes, and now in her daughter's. Actually, the passion still burned within Cassie but as she neared 40, she no longer had the body to release it.

Next time down the court, Becky took a nasty dive trying to save an errant pass, and Cassie offered her a hand up and some advice. "Becky, are you forty yet? I mean, not that you look it." Shaking her head no, Becky was a bit puzzled by the timing of that question. Cassie then returned, "Well if you want to live to see forty you'd better slow down a little. You're going to kill yourself out here." Dropping her head, Becky nodded solemnly. Cassie smiled and whispered. "Besides, save a little of that for the second half. I'd love to beat these kids," Cassie finished and winked as the two ran down the court side by side. Becky smiled.

Katie came back in at the five-minute mark and the team went on a run. Becky's enthusiasm was contagious and both Katie and Cassie picked it up a notch. Katie lofted several perfect entry passes into Becky. Becky spun, took a dribble toward the basket, and a second defender slipped over to cut her off. Becky then fired a laser shot to Cassie who drained a wide-open three pointer. Cassie hit back-to-back jumpers, and Katie got a steal and a lay up. With two minutes before halftime they were within four points and beating off her man, Cassie stole an entry pass. She crossed half court with Becky on her left wing and Katie trailing the play. Cassie dropped a bounce pass to the streaking Becky, causing both defenders to shift to the left. Becky took two dribbles, and with her eyes squarely on the basket she fired a behind the back, no look pass to Cassie. The ball hit her dead on stride and she nailed the short jumper. Debbie, Mandy, and Devon went wild on the bench. Cassie pointed her finger at Becky, acknowledging the sweet pass. Becky beamed as she headed back up the court. The half ended as the game had begun. The score was tied, but Cassie's team had a definite momentum advantage, and her name was Becky.

The women and Cassie's kids shot around at halftime. Both Mandy and Devon heaped praise on Becky for her spirited play, and fancy passes. Cassie stood next to Becky as she launched another jumper. "Hey girl, sounds like you got a fan club already."

Smiling beseechingly, Becky rolled her eyes. She grabbed a rebound, fired it back to Cassie. "I'm no star. I'm just an old alley ball player. Besides, I'm not the one with sixteen first half points. You can really shoot the ball Cassie. You got game!"

With a wistful smile, Cassie shook her head. "I used to have game, but that was fifteen years and twenty pounds ago. Speaking of game, give yourself some credit girl. I think you played great. I'll tell you something else. It's been a long time since I've played with someone who can get me the ball like you do. I think you and I are going to play great together, but you're going to have to do one thing for me... shoot the ball! You're the best passing big girl I've ever played with, but we need you to be more aggressive on the offensive end."

A ball bounced back to Becky, she started to shoot then dropped a pass over to Devon, who smiled as he hit the lay up. "Well...I'm kind of used to playing along side a good shooter, so a lot of times I didn't really look to shoot. I'd just try to hustle on defense and get her the ball. My goal was to get her the ball when she wanted it, where she wanted it, and as often as she wanted it."

"I can't put up 40 or 50 points anymore." Cassie turned to Becky. "If this teams going to win, you're going to have to score some inside points. That will open up the perimeter for the rest of us. So...just shoot the ball when you get it down low. Kay? Kay!"

With a curt nod of assent, Becky readied herself for the second half. Cassie's team's spirited play and halftime tie stung the pride of their talented opponents. They came out the aggressors the second half and quickly opened a ten-point lead. Cassie's team made several runs on the strength of Becky's hustle and Cassie's left hand, but the girls ran out of gas the last 5 minutes and lost by 8.

After the game, Debbie and Katie walked over to another court to watch a close game still in progress. Cassie went into the office to make a phone call and Becky started shooting around with Devon and Mandy. When Cassie came out of the office she saw them on a basket at the far end. The three of them were laughing and clowning as they passed the ball around. Becky was grinning from ear to ear. Cassie's discovered that her big, ferocious center was nothing more than a kid at heart. She also discovered something else about her during the second half. She finally solved the mystery. Becky wasn't someone she'd played with or against, but she did remind her of someone else she had known. She was very much like her long lost best friend, Brian.

This woman was just about Brian's height. She was obviously a little shapelier, but both were slender and athletic. Those eyes she had recognized earlier were Brian's as well, but she didn't have his hair color or nose.

Yet it wasn't just the body similarities that had finally made the connection for Cassie. It was Becky's performance, especially the second half. Cassie had pushed Becky to shoot more and in the second half she did. That is what put it all together for Cassie. Becky was a left-hander just like both Brian and Cassie, but when she fired a couple of rainbow jumpers, a fade away turn around, and then a sweet baby hook, Cassie had seen those moves before, and then the name she'd been searching for came to her. It was Brian's name. Becky, just like Brian, would really get down on herself whenever she made a mistake on the court. Both Brian and Becky had no regard for their own bodies, as they both would throw themselves all over the court. Both of their first names even started with the letter "B".

With so many similarities between the two, Cassie wondered if Becky might be related to Brian. She knew Brian was an only child, but his father had been married once before. The thought that she could be Brian's half-sister teased intriguingly at her mind. If not a half-sister maybe a cousin. Brian did have relation who lived somewhere north of Charleston. Becky said she had come from California, but she didn't say she was raised there. Cassie started constructing all kinds of scenarios. By the time she got to the one where aliens had abducted Becky from Brian's parents when she was a baby, she knew she was playing Nancy Drew again.

Chastising herself, Cassie realized she was allowing fantasy and wishful thinking to get the better of her. Becky may have some similarities to Brian, but she wasn't his long lost sister or anything else. Becky just missed Brian so much she was looking for him anywhere she might find him. She wasn't being honest with herself, or fair to Becky. She had to stop this craziness before it went any further.

With a quick glance up at the clock, Cassie realized it was getting late. Becky had gone to the restroom, while the kids continued to run and shoot. Cassie got the kids together and hustled out the side door. When Becky walked out of the restroom, the final game had just ended. Debbie walked across the court and spied Becky searching around the gym. "If you're looking for Cassie and company, they just went out the side door. You have to be fast if you're going to catch her. She's usually the last one here, and the first one to leave."

Shaking her head, Becky replied, "Guess it will keep to next week. I suppose I should get out of here. Hey, it's been real nice playing with you, thanks a lot."

"Glad to have you on the team! Guess I'll see ya next week. Gotta go home and break out the Ben-Gay." Debbie waved to her and then catching up with Katie, the two women walked out the door.

Slipping on her sweats and running shoes before following them out the door, Becky walked down the street, shoulders slumping, head down, and hands in her pockets. It was the classic "Brian" look she had worked so hard to eradicate. Realizing what she was doing, she snapped her head up and arched her back. She had told herself in New York, and again in California, that she would never again be afraid to meet someone's eyes. Brian was ashamed of who he was, but Becky was going to be proud. She had gone through so much pain and sacrifice just for the right to walk down these streets as a woman. Whenever, and wherever she walked she would do it with pride and her head held high.

Though Becky's head rose, her thoughts were still heavy on her heart. She had missed her chance again! She should have waited outside the office for Cassie while she was on the phone, but she started shooting with the kids and got lost in their world. The memory of that brought a smile and a glow to her face. She thought about each of Cassie's kids.

"Devon's such a sweetie. He going to be a real heartbreaker with those blue eyes, and Mandy...God, she looks, acts and hoops so much like Cassie it's unreal. She's even got the smile. They really are good kids, and I had a blast playing around with them. It was almost like being a kid again, only this time, the right sex!"

With a softer sigh, she chastised herself for mooning over a lost childhood. Looking behind her, and wishing for a life she had been denied, did nothing but depress the little girl within her. All of us, no matter how old, carry a child within. For Becky, her child was a powerful and passionate entity. Perhaps because the little girl within her had been imprisoned in a boy's body and was unable to experience life like other little girls, she was angry and frustrated. Even though Becky was fast approaching forty, the little girl imprisoned within refused to grow up. She simply wanted the life she was entitled to, and she wasn't growing up until she got it.

Nothing would have pleased Becky more than to be able to grant that little girl her wish, but all she could do was acknowledge her presence, and indulge her whenever she poked her head out, just like she did tonight. Becky was a thirty-eight-year-old woman, and a little girl. They both deserved a better fate than life had dealt them.

Tears ran down Becky's cheeks as she braced herself against the cold night air. Becky knew better than to dwell on her little girl within. It always resulted in tears, and "pity parties." She had too much going on in reality to allow herself this indulgence. She had to decide when or now if; she was going to tell Cassie. Her stance on telling her had softened somewhat after the game. She knew it was still the right thing to do, but she so enjoyed being Becky and interacting with her old friend. She didn't want that to change. Whatever she was going to do, she would have to do it next week. If she didn't tell her then, she doubted if she ever would. She just didn't have the time to agonize over this anymore.

Arriving alone at her apartment, the lonely woman walked over to stand by the radiators and warm herself. Several sharp cramps and a familiar wave of nausea overcame her. She was late taking her night meds. As she poured the pills into her hand, her mind went back to her final thoughts on the street. "Time, she was running out of time."

Though it was not her desire, Becky spent the next week playing hermit. Her knees were tender so she didn't even go jogging. With the exception of an emergency Diet Coke, and frozen pizza run, the only time Becky left her room was to pick up her prescriptions from the drugstore. Becky didn't want a chance encounter with Cassie. She had weighed the facts again, and once again came to the same conclusion. The right thing to do was to tell Cassie, and it would have to be after the game Wednesday night.

Next Wednesday came and it started out very much like last Wednesday. Becky was early, Cassie was late, but this time she had left the children over at her brother Brad's. Becky took the fact that her old and dear friend was alone as a good omen. It would make it much easier to discuss the situation without the kids nearby. She would corner her immediately after the game, tell her the truth, and finally it would be over.

The game that night was a good one. The teams were evenly matched and both playing well. In a game that saw the teams exchange two and four point leads all night long, Cassie's team got the final and most important lead. Becky scored off an offensive rebound, and Cassie a long jumper. Their team won by four points. It was the first win in six games for Cassie's team, and the ladies celebrated.

After exchanging high fives all around, Cassie headed for the office, and Becky followed right behind her. She stopped by the basket nearest the office, and started shooting around while keeping one eye on the office door.

Twenty minutes later, Cassie came out. Becky ran up to her to have her little talk, when she noticed that Cassie was sniffling, and obviously been crying. Becky's grand plan went straight out the window at the sight of her troubled friend. She moved by her side, and spoke with concern in her voice. "Cassie, are you alright?'

Cassie sniffled and rubbed her nose. "Yeah...I'll be okay. I got to be. I don't have a choice." She hesitated a moment, and then began the tale. "It's...It's just my ex-husband. He's driving me crazy! Look, I'm sure you really want to hear all this."

Becky put an arm on her shoulder. "I don't mind listening and it sounds like you really could use someone to talk to. I got the time tonight, so we can sit and talk about anything you want. Of course, I may beg you for a ride home, if you don't mind."

Cassie looked at Becky in amazement. "You mean to tell me you're walking? I am definitely giving you a ride home. It's way to cold, damp and dark for you to be out there on the street."

The two women grabbed their gear and headed out to Cassie's suburban. Cassie threw Becky the keys and it startled her. She froze in her tracks, starring at the keys in her hand. "Uh, Cassie, thanks, but I don't drive. I don't even have a license!"

Cassie regarded her friend for a moment, shook her head, and smiled. "The keys are to open the passenger side door. The driver's side door doesn't open from the outside so you'll have to slide over, and let me in."

Becky's face flushed with embarrassment. "Sorry, I uh...well I thought..."

Cassie laughed and cut her off. "I see that blonde goes straight to the roots huh?"

Becky was glad to see Cassie smile, even if it was at her expense.

If Cassie had been thinking, she would have added another similarity between Brian and Becky. Neither one of them drove. Fortunately for Becky, Cassie had put Nancy Drew asleep for the night, and that fact went unnoticed. While she fired up the Suburban, and told Becky to move the books and junk into the back seat, she uttered a mother's excuse. "Kids, sports, school stuff...this thing is always a mess."

Becky just smiled and nodded as if she knew from personal experience.

"Have you ever been married Becky? Do you have any kids?" Cassie asked, taking the iniative.

"Nope, neither one. It's just little ol' me. I don't even have a cat," Becky said, and shook her head.

In an instant Cassie picked up on the hint of sadness in Becky's voice. "I can't speak very highly about marriage, but you really ought to think about having kids, or at least adopting. I think you would be so great with kids. I know mine just love you to death. They said my team doesn't stink anymore, because now I have Becky!" Both women laughed at that remark. "I'm serious Becky. If you don't want kids of your own, maybe you should think about volunteering at the grade school or at the community center. The way you were playing with my kids last week, it seemed like you were more comfortable with them than us old women!"

Becky paused a moment before fielding that one. It had gone straight to her heart. "Kindred spirits I suppose. As far as taking on a child or getting involved in a program somewhere, I just don't think I have the time."

"Oh girl, you don't know what you're missing." Cassie tried to tempt her. "It does take a lot of time and patience to raise children, but it is so worth it. Children are the greatest blessing in the world. My kids are what keep me going, when otherwise I would just pack it in. I'd give anything to have another one." She paused a moment as she hit a painful memory. "I had a rough time during Mandy's pregnancy. I almost lost her. After I had her, they told me I could never carry a child again."

"Oh Cassie, I'm really sorry."

" Hey, I shouldn't be complaining. I got two great kids. If I was destined to have another one the good Lord would have given me one." Cassie sighed heavily. "Becky, you know I played college ball, and professionally in Europe. That was a fantastic experience. It was a dream come true, but it still doesn't compare to the joy I get when I am with my kids. The kids' father and I have been divorced for about seven years. When Craig has the kids out to Denver for a week or two, I just about go out of my mind. Craig said I was too focused on the children, maybe he's right, but I can't help how much I love them. Craig said I spent too much time with the children, and not enough with him, so...he...found someone else who gave him all her attention. I am such a goof, can you believe after all that I still love that man?"

Reaching across the seat, Becky took Cassie's hand and squeezed it. She didn't say anything. She didn't need too. Cassie wasn't really looking for advice. She just needed someone to listen, and be there. She needed a best friend. Brian had been that friend for many years. Now, at least for a while, Becky could be that friend.

Cassie's glanced at her dashboard clock. "Oh no, Brad's going to kill me! I should have picked up the kids thirty minutes ago. Geez Becky, I'm so sorry about going on like this. If I get started on Craig and the kids, I don't know when to stop. I get so upset after I get on the phone with him, and he really got to me tonight. I can't thank you enough for listening. It's been a long time since I've had a friend I can talk to like this. You can't imagine how much it's helped me."

Nearly overwhelmed by the compassion she felt for her troubled friend, Becky said, "I know what it's like to have a really good friend to talk to. I also know what it's like when they are gone. I'm just glad I could be there for you. Anytime you need to talk, anytime at all, just come by the Windsor. I'm always home."

Cassie reached over and hugged Becky. "I'll remember that, thank you. Maybe next Wednesday you can do the talking and I'll do the listening. I bet you have some great stories about living in California!"

Becky shrugged her shoulders. "I wasn't your typical California girl, but that's a story for another time."

Cassie let Becky out and waved to her as she drove off.

Waving back, she watched the Suburban disappear into the night. Becky wearily climbed the steps to her apartment. She had fought hard to hold back her tears while she had listened to her friend unload, but by the time she had gotten inside her apartment, they were flowing freely. Compassion for her friend, as well as all the anxieties of her own life, combined to overwhelm her. She cried until she was spent. Finally she got up and went for her comfort food. She popped in a frozen pizza, and grabbed a soda to wash down the pills before the cramps and headache start. She spent the rest of the night awake contemplating her life, her friendship with Cassie and where they were both heading.

By dawn she had made up her mind. Right or wrong, she wasn't going to tell Cassie. If Cassie figured it out on her own, then Becky would deal with it then. Cassie didn't need another heartache right now. What she needed was a friend, and Becky wanted to be that friend. Bringing Brian back to her now might just push Cassie over the edge. As Becky, on the other hand, might just be able to keep her from going over that edge.

In the grey light filtering in, she thought about why she had returned to Jamestown. She wanted Cassie to know the truth, but perhaps the truth isn't always the most important thing. Becky wasn't going to be able to stay long. Maybe it was better that she lived this lie, and helped her friend today. The truth could wait for tomorrow. Tomorrow would be here in just a few short months. She could "omit" the truth that long. After she left Jamestown, she would be sure that Cassie got a letter that explained the whole truth.

Coming back to Jamestown had also been to be able to walk the streets as the person she truly was. She had done that. The same guys who had teased and belittled her, held doors for her when she walked in. She hadn't come here to exact revenge, or embarrasses them as they had her. She just wanted them to see her for who she is, even if they never know who she was.

A tightness gripped her throat when she thought back to Cassie. She had come to tell her the truth, but she had also come hoping that they might be able to resume their friendship. They had been so close before. The fact that Brian had been a boy never really got in the way. Becky wanted to be able to talk to her, and do things with her that only another woman could do. She had done that too. Cassie had connected with her immediately, not just because she was a woman, but also because she still had the same soul that Brian had. Becky being a woman just made everything easier for both of them. She was Cassie's friend, sister in womanhood, and teammate. That was all she needed to be for now.

The next two months went pretty well for Cassie's team. They won four games, and lost four, but were competitive in every one. They ended the regular season at five and five, and made the playoffs.

Now Becky felt better than she had in a year. Being connected with Cassie again, had made her spirit soar. Whenever Cassie brought the kids to the game, Becky would stay late shooting with them, until Cassie threatened to leave all three of them. When Cassie came alone, they would park in front of Becky's and talk. Mostly, Cassie would talk, usually about Craig and sometimes about the kids. Becky would add advice when she felt it was warranted. Becky would always try to steer clear of conversations about her own past. She had to lie, but she didn't want to lie anymore than she had to. Becky would usually try to turn the conversation back toward Cassie. She was always asking Cassie to tell her stories about her professional career in Europe. To Cassie, it was ancient history; to Becky it was missing pieces in a friendship. Cassie would marvel at the way Becky would hang on her every word. She sat there, all wide-eyed and excited, just like Mandy did whenever she begged a story out of Cassie.

When Cassie asked Becky if she was looking for work, Becky told her that she had cashed in a 401k, so she didn't have to work for a while. Becky was always careful to never commit to how long she would be staying. Each week, Cassie would drop her off and tell her, "Your ponytail and butt better be there next week, girl friend!"

Then Cassie's team won their first playoff game on the shooting touch of Cassie's left hand. She was vintage "Pistol" again. She started the game by hitting her first three shots and never let up. Becky, Katie, and Debbie just concentrated on getting her the ball and getting out of her way. When the horn sounded, Cassie had amassed those 50 points she said she could never score again. Next week they would be playing for the championship.

The kids, Cassie and Becky grabbed sandwiches at "Suzy Q's." Jamestown's 50's style drive-in, and celebrated the victory. Becky and Cassie reveled in the moment. It was good that they did, as next week's game was nearly over before it started.

That night Cassie came in on time for once, but was limping and in serious pain. The hip was out again, and she grimaced on every jumper she shot in warm-ups. Becky tried to convince her to sit out, but she insisted that it would ease up once she got on the court. She played the first ten minutes of the game on sheer heart, determination, and plain stubbornness. When she came out, she was hurting so bad her hands were doubled in fists and tears welled in her eyes. She didn't play another minute that night.

Without Cassie's leadership and offense, Becky and her teammates struggled to find their rhythm. At the half they were down by sixteen, and it easily could have been worse. All they could do was try to come out the second half and make it respectable.

Cassie, Mandy, and anyone else who stayed around to watch the second half saw the best game that Brian Baker or Becky Taylor had ever played. Cassie was used to the reckless abandon that Becky played with. She'd seen the passion and youthful enthusiasm that often sparkled in her eyes, but she had never seen such fire and determination. Becky's game face told she was a woman on a mission, and she played like it. Becky knew if they had the slightest chance of winning, she was going to have to dominate the court like Cassie. She was going to have to score big and often. She attacked the defense like a blonde tornado, and she had them reeling in her path.

With an assortment of jumpers, drives, and rebound baskets, Becky had pulled her team to within two points with 8 seconds to go, and they had possession of the ball. Katie pounded the ball at the top of the key, Debbie set a screen and Becky rolled across the middle, but Katie's man dropped off to deny the entry pass. With the clock nearing zero, Katie had no choice but to fire the wide open jumper. Her shot was long and bounced off the right side of the rim. Becky rose above the other players, grabbing the rebound, and shooting while she was still in the air. Her soft shot, kissed off the backboard, hung teasingly on the rim for a moment and then rolled off as the horn sounded.

Exhausted and devastated, Becky fell to the floor. She got a hand up from several players and congratulations on a great game from everyone. Cassie's remarks as she drove Becky to her apartment were the ones she cherished most.

"I guess I need to throw out my hip more often!" Cassie glanced over at Becky. "I'm about serious girl. You always play like a hyperactive eight year old, but I've never seen you play like that. If you would have brought that game with you every night, we would have been undefeated. I knew you had more game than you showed, and you really impressed me."

Though smiling broadly, Becky blushed. She was beaming with pride at Cassie's glowing praise. She looked like a little girl who had just made her mother very happy. "I know all this is for fun, but I really wanted to win. I was determined to play the game of my life or die trying."

"Well girl, you looked like you were playing for the WNBA championship out there." Cassie smiled. "With the look you had on your face, I wouldn't have wanted to be between you and the basket! I don't know why you never played college ball, but if you could play like this every night, you could have picked your college, and maybe even went pro. I am serious kid. You showed some real talent out there tonight."

Becky blushed and beamed again, while adding a little humor to the situation. "Well, just keep that in mind when we renegotiate my contract next season! If I'm going to be a star, I want to make as much money as you do for playing."

The pain of the loss was replaced by the joy of friendship. Cassie pulled Becky's ponytail with her right hand. "Yeah, just like I said earlier. You're blonde clear to the root!" Both women laughed heartily.

Uncharacteristically, Mandy had been quiet all the way to Becky's. When the blonde looked in the back to tell her goodbye, she found out why. Mandy was asleep. Her angelic face looked so peaceful and innocent. Becky looked at her longingly, and then blew her a kiss. Cassie watched them both and sighed, "They all look like angels when they're sleeping. The horns only come out when they're awake." She paused a minute to regard the look on Becky's face. "I bet you were just like her as a little girl."

Becky turned to face Cassie. There was great sadness in her eyes. "In spirit only... in spirit only."

Puzzled by Becky's reply, the coach asked, "In spirit only?"

Realizing she was getting to close to the truth, she hedged, "I mean...I didn't get to do a lot of things that Mandy does, but I always wanted to."

Seeming satisfied with the explanation, Cassie giggled softly, "Well, I'd better get sleeping beauty home. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you. We don't play for two weeks and when we start up again, we won't be playing at the community center. We always play the spring and summer season at my court. I've got a full court out behind my house. It's got lights for the night games. I think you'll love it. Don't worry about getting there. It's too far for you to jog, so I'll pick you up and bring you back. Be ready by 5:30! See ya then!"

Becky waved as Cassie pulled away. Stunned, she walked up to her apartment. "Cassie's Court!" She thought, "I'm really coming home now."

To Be Continued...

  

  

  

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