ANNOUNCER: After Ash and his pals thwarted Team Rocket’s evil plans yet again, Mrs. Ketchum decided to celebrate by taking them to the local "clothing optional" beach. So we’ll have to show you how poor James is taking his loss.
(The interior of James’s bedroom is seen. Not a very spiffy place; it looks like a typical suburban American child’s home, with a poster bed, stuffed Pokemon creatures strewn about, and pink and lavender colored things everywhere. James is dressed in his Team Rocket getup, which appears to be his normal outfit.)
JAMES: (depressed) (sighs) It’s not fair. My life isn’t very fun anymore. I used to have it all, and now I’m just a worthless loser has-been working for an ungrateful boss. Only Jess can cheer me up now. (gets up and walks offstage)
(Show the outside of James’s typical suburban home. James leaves the house.)
JAMES: (still sad) Now I’ll have to walk all that way to her place. (walks up to the nearly-identical house next door; rings the doorbell)
JESSIE: (offstage) Who is it? If it’s Meowth, I’m not home!
JAMES: Relax, it’s me, James.
JESSIE: Alright, I’m coming. (opens the door; she’s wrapped in a white towel with a giant red "R" on it. Her hair is wet, and hanging down.) This better be important; I was in the tub! And you know the boss decided to let us have a day off after clubbing those baby Seels.
JAMES: (crying) Oh, Jessie, I can’t take it anymore! I want to be like you.
JESSIE: (surprised) What are you talking about?
JAMES: (still crying) (sobs) Oh, I want to be a... a... GIRL!
JESSIE: Really?
JAMES: Yes. That’s why my family stays away from me. And why do you think I dress in ladies’ clothes all the time when we wear those bad disguises?
JESSIE: I should have known. Come on in.
(Jessie escorts James into her place, which looks like a typical suburban home. James sits on the couch, while Jessie walks offstage to get dressed.)
JAMES: Remember that magic trick you did with your hair? Could you try that on me again?
JESSIE: (offstage, sounding angry) No. Thanks to that bungling mind of yours, my accidental transformation caused me to lose the ability permanently. Even my mother couldn’t restore it.
JAMES: Well, what about your other relatives?
JESSIE: (walks in, in her Team Rocket getup) No way, not after that ordeal. I’m lucky they didn’t disown me.
JAMES: So what can I do? (cries again) I don’t wanna be made of snips and snails and puppy-dog tails for the rest of my life!
JESSIE: Oh, dear. Maybe Meowth will have an idea.
(Cut to a forest road. Ash, Brock, Misty (holding Togapi), and Pikachu, are walking away from a sign saying, "Nude Beach Ahead.")
BROCK: (hearts throbbing in his eyes) Boy, was that beach fun! Maybe we’ll get to go back again someday.
MISTY: Well, maybe you should wait until you’re 18.
(Cut to the nude beach sign. We see a Jigglypuff hiding behind it, out of sight from our friends.)
JIGGLYPUFF: (curious) Jiggly. (follows Ash and his friends from a distance)
ASH: Yeah, well, I’ve got to start training for that tournament - again.
BROCK: Gees, will you EVER get to training?
ASH: Maybe if we could get away from Team Rocket for once...
MISTY: C’mon, Ash. You should know by now that they always seem to find us. I betcha right now they’re thinking of some clever way to catch Pikachu.
(Cut to Team Rocket. James is on all fours atop of a hill, barking like a dog. Jessie and Meowth are looking at him, a happily sly expression on their faces.)
MEOWTH: (glaoting) Now crow like a rooster.
JAMES: Cut it out, Meowth! You’ve had me meow like a cat, moo like a cow, neigh like a horse, and bark like a dog. How many more animals will I have to impersonate?
JESSIE: He just complained, Meowth. Since he didn’t get to ten animals, I win the bet.
MEOWTH: (grunting) Okay, alright already. I’m helping you guys. (fishes around in his fur) Now were did I put it? Oh, here it is! (pulls out a small crystal ball)
JAMES: (getting up) Meowth, what is that?
MEOWTH: It’s a crystal ball, silly?
JESSIE: (stunned) How will it help us?
MEOWTH: Remember that Pokemon zoo we visited in Opaque City? Well, one of my Persian friends told me they added a new creature. (Camera zooms in on the crystal ball; we see a picture of a tiger-like Pokemon.)
JESSIE: (surprised) What is that thing?
JAMES: (equally surprised) I’ve never seen it before.
MEOWTH: It’s a Teege, the evolved version of a Persian. We tend to stay quiet about it because of its weird - erhm - ability.
JESSIE AND JAMES: What’s it do?
MEOWTH: It has a Switch attack, which allows it to change the gender of any individual. And there’s also Body Swap, which lets it interchange a boy with a girl. But I gotta warn you -
JAMES: (crying tears of joy) Then I can be a girl, after all!
JESSIE: Well, why not? James, Meowth, follow me to Opaque City!
(Meanwhile, Ash and his crew are walking between cities. Misty notices a sign.)
MISTY: Hey guys, according to this sign, we’re just a mile from Opaque City.
ASH: That’s where the Pokemon zoo was. I’d love to see that place again.
BROCK: No way! The last time I was there, they bound me and gagged me.
MISTY: (annoyed) Do you always have to disagree with me?
BROCK: (lovestruck) Actually, I’d love to see that cute hot dog vendor again.
ASH: (aside to Misty) There he is, thinking with his heart again.
TOGEPI: (excited as always) To-ge-to-ge-pree!
PIKACHU: (flustered) Pi-ka.
MISTY: Just once I’d like him to know what it’s like for a girl to have a boy fall in love with him. That’ll show ‘im!
ASH: (sighs) Come on, you two, break it up! Besides, we’re right here at the Pokemon zoo.
(Indeed they are. A giant sign proclaims, "NEW! See the Teege.")
BROCK: "Teege"? What is that?
MISTY: I don’t know. Let’s find out.
ASH: Good idea.
(Ash, Brock, Misty, Pikachu, and Togepi head off towards the Teege cage. Jigglypuff follows about one hundred feet behind. Meanwhile, Team Rocket is already at their destination.)
JAMES: It’s the Teege! Come on, let’s prepare the transformation.
JESSIE: I’ve brought along a week’s worth of my wardrobe in the truck!
MEOWTH: Cool it, you two! (He swipes both of their faces with his claws.)
JESSIE AND JAMES: (red claw marks shaped like tic-tac-toe grids coat their faces) Ouch!
MEOWTH: As Teege’s unevolved form, I know how these things think, and remember, as a Pokemon I can communicate with these things. Just leave it the work to me. (he walks up to the Teege)
TEEGE: (curious) Teege?
MEOWTH: My friends wanna use your powers. Could you turn this guy here (points to James) into a gal?
TEEGE: (nods head) Teege.
MEOWTH: Okay, now we’re talking! (turns towards James and Jessie, wide grin on his face) Now James, concentrate on the kind of girl you’d like to become, and Teege here will let you become one. But I gotta warn you, the transformation will be undone if -
JAMES: Meowth, shut up! (pleased, rubs his hands all over his body just as the Teege’s magic works on him. He immediately becomes a girl, similar in appearance to Jessie. He has the same hairstyle and body, but his hair is the same purple color. His eyes are still the same color as Jessie’s earrings, and he’s now wearing globe-shaped earrings shaped like Jessie’s and the same color as her eyes. He’s still wearing his masculine Team Rocket getup, though, which doesn’t fit him well.)
JESSIE: (awestruck) I don’t believe it! (rubs her eyes) James, is that really you?
JAMES: (in a feminine version of his old voice) Yes. And please, call me "Jane" from now on.
MEOWTH: Quick, here come those twerps. Let’s go back to the truck and get Jane in uniform.
(The three Team Rocket bumblers run offscreen just as Ash, Brock, Misty, Pikachu, and Togepi walk on. Ash pulls out his Pokedex, pointing it at the Teege.)
POKEDEX: Teege, the tiger Pokemon. The evolved version of Persian. In addition to the usual Persian attacks, this strange creature can cause people to switch gender by Switch and Body Swap attacks. They are extremely rare, and protected by law.
ASH: Wow!
MISTY: Well, I’m not so sure any Pokemon can do what that thing says it does.
BROCK: (peeved) I’ll say. Body swapping indeed! Hmph!
(The Teege appears annoyed at Brock’s remark, and a shimmering pink-and-blue glow emerges from its body, headed for Brock’s and Misty’s. Togepi, afraid of what will happen, drops out of Misty’s arms. She, Ash, and Pikachu can only manage a confounded stare. After about ten seconds, the glow fades. Misty and Brock appear to be normal.)
BROCK: (in Misty’s body) See, I told you a Pokemon couldn’t - (realizing something is wrong, looks around himself) What?! Misty, I’m you!
MISTY: (in Brock’s body) Yuck! Now I’m a boy!
ASH: Oh dear. Now Misty is Brock, and Brock is Misty. Could anything be worse?
(The hot dog vendor from "The Pokezoo" walks by. Brock starts the googily-eyed thing we always does when seeing a cute girl.)
BROCK: Can I have your address, cutie?
VENDOR: (annoyed) Ewww! Get away from me, you young lesbian freak! (splashes a soda all over his face and walks off in a huff. A boy tourist walks into her place.)
TOURIST: (getting all googily-eyed like Brock) Hey little girl, let’s get together sometime.
MISTY: (embarrassed) Really? Cause I’m busy, and-
TOURIST: (mad) Not you, you boy! (to Brock) So what’cha say, little lady?
(Brock just frowns as the body stares, heart throbbing.)
BROCK: (sad) I guess it’ll be different in this girl’s body.
MISTY: (upset) You’re telling me! I just looked at that vendor, and I felt this weird - uh - feeling in my shorts.
ASH: (correcting) Pants.
MISTY: (resignedly sighing) I guess Brock and I will be stuck like this the rest of our lives.
ASH: (checking his Pokedex) Not necessarily. I think I’ve got an idea, but we’ll have to do something I thought we’d never do voluntarily - (motions for Brock and Misty to come closer. He whispers something into their ears.)
BROCK: (shudders) No way!
MISTY: The mere thought of doing that gives me the creeps!
ASH: Nevertheless, it’s the only idea I’ve got. Since I’m out of money, I won’t be able to get it at the store.
BROCK: Me too.
MISTY: I’m also broke. So we’re got no choice. We’ll just have to -
JESSIE: (offscreen) Prepare for twin trouble!
ASH: (startled) Who said that?
JANE: (in an outfit identical to Jessie’s) And make it identically double!
JESSIE: To protect the world from devastation.
JANE: To unite all peoples within our nation.
JESSIE: To denounce the evils of truth and love.
JANE: Wait a minute, why are truth and love "evil"? I never understood that part.
JESSIE: Because we’re bad guys! (slaps Jane hard.) Jessie.
JANE: Jane.
JESSIE: Team Rocket blasting off at the speed of light.
JANE: Surrender now or prepare to fight.
MEOWTH: (jumps into place between the other two) Meowth, that’s right.
TOURIST: Boy, the two of you are really cute. Just lose the Meowth, and let’s -
MEOWTH: (mad) Shaddup! Who asked you anything? (scratches his face, causing the tourist to run offscreen crying)
ASH: Wait a minute, where’s James?
JANE: James is no more. Meet his new incarnation, Jane! All thanks to that Teege.
BROCK: Now I’ll never doubt the power of a Teege.
MISTY: So what’s going on?
MEOWTH: We’re taking your Pikachu, that’s what!
ASH: No way! Pikachu, shock them.
PIKACHU: Pi-ka-CHUUUU! (lets his thunderbolt loose, but it has no effect.) (startled) Chu?
JESSIE: (yawning) I just Pika-proofed our outfits.
JANE: We should have done this eons ago. (throws her Pokeball) Wheezing, smokescreen attack!
WHEEZING: (emerges from the ball) Wheezing! (lets his poisonous gas loose)
(Ash and his mixed-up pals cough)
JESSIE: (throws her Pokeball) Arbok, use your poisonous bite!
ARBOK: Chhh-arbok! (leaps towards Pikachu, and bites Ash)
ASH: Pikachu, I’m not sure I’m gonna make it.
MEOWTH: (cackles evilly) Nothing can stop us now!
(Jigglypuff walks onscreen, preparing to sing)
JIGGLYPUFF: Jiggly -
MEOWTH: Hah?
JANE: Oh no!
JESSIE: It’s that thing!
ASH: Hooray!
MISTY: Our problem has been solved!
BROCK: Yahoo!
PIKACHU: (ecstatic) Pika!
TOGEPI: (joyous) To-ge-pree!
JIGGLYPUFF: (beings singing, as the "Jigglypuff lullaby" music plays)
Jiggilypuff jiggilypuff,
Jiggilypuff jiggily.
Jiggilypuff, jiggilypuff,
Jiggilypuff jiggily.
(music ends, but Jiggilypuff continues to sing)
Jiggilypu- (looks around her, noticing everyone else is asleep) (peeved, her body inflates like a balloon) Jiggly! (she removes the tip of her microphone, revealing a magic marker. She uses it to doodle on everyone’s faces. Cut away from the scene.)
(Ash’s POV. He opens his eyes, and we see Nurse Joy smiling at him, next to Chansey)
ASH: (groggily) What happened?
NURSE JOY: I found you and your friends near the Teege cage, so I brought you into the nursing station. It’s a good thing Chansey alerted me, too, because you’d have never survived that Arbok bite without my help.
CHANSEY: (overjoyed) Chansey!
ASH: Great! Thanks, Nurse Joy! Where’s my pals?
NURSE JOY: They’re over there. (points to a series of tables next to Ash’s. Brock, Misty, Jessie, and James lie on them. We can see Jigglypuff’s scribbles all over their faces.)
ASH: (also scribbled) Brock! Misty! Are you okay?
BROCK: (from his old body) I’m just fine.
MISTY: (from her old body) Never been better.
JAMES: (in his old body, still in a uniform just like Jessie’s) What the? I’m a boy again?
JESSIE: (startled) What happened?
ASH: It was the Jigglypuff. I learned something interesting about the Teege. (pulls out his Pokedex)
POKEDEX: (shows Teege onscreen) Teege’s Switch and Body Swap attacks are extremely powerful, but they are cancelled out by being scribbled on by a magic marker.
MEOWTH: I tried to warn you!
JESSIE: Fat lot of good you did. And worst of all, our day off is almost over.
JAMES: The only way we’ll ever get another day off is to catch that Pikachu.
NURSE JOY: (mad) Not in my work station!
JESSIE: (breaking a sweat) Well, we decided to be nice to you this time. But your next battle won’t be so easy.
TEAM ROCKET: (run out the door together) We’re blasting off again!
ASH: Well, everything is back to normal.
BROCK: Yeah, now all we have to do is train for the Pokemon League championship.
ASH: The training! I forgot about that! And there’s no more time today!
MISTY: Don’t worry, Ash. There’s always tomorrow.
ANNOUNCER: Yes, there’s always tomorrow. But Ash is now one tomorrow closer to the battle of his life.
(The logo TO BE CONTINUED > appears onscreen)
THE END
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